Kids Kissing

Updated on January 19, 2010
S.D. asks from Topeka, KS
7 answers

I recently walked into my boyfriend's daughter's bedroom and found my son (7) and his daughter (6),under the desk and covered with a blanket. When I seperated them and asked what they were doing, my son said kissing and not to tell his dad or my boyfriend and he swears it will never happen again. When I asked her she lied until I told her that I already knew and just wanted to know why. She said that she likes him as a friend,but also as more than a friend and wanted to kiss him. Is this "normal" experamenting behavior?? I was so upset and called my son's fateher who seems to think it warrents punishment and explaining,but believes it is normal. Im at a loss.

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More Answers

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

S.-

I think it's COMPLETELY normal for the kids to be doing what they are doing! Some kids younger than them experiment with their clothes off...although they don't really know what they are doing. They just know what they've seen, heard on TV, movies and from family and friends.

I would not be concerned or think that warrants any kind of punishment. I would talk with them and tell them that they have to stay out from under the covers and it's okay to kiss someone you like on the cheek but if you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, you have to be older (give them that excuse if you dont' want them kissing for real) and tell them when they are older they can be bf/gf.

I had a boyfriend from the time I was five years old! Granted we never kissed, but I do remember being 7/8 and having neighbor kids showing off their 'privates' to anyone who would look or wanting to kiss boys to see what it feels like.

1 mom found this helpful

M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I think its normal, but SCARY! Keep an eye on them. Im not sure what I would do, maybe just a serious no no talk.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hmmm-I am more concerned that the boy does not want you to tell-that is a call out for trouble! He knows this is something he should not be doing and will get in trouble-so where do you take it? Talk to the child NO FAKING OR KIDDY TALK-THIS SHOULD BE A GROWN UP ISSUE. It is time to tell him a little bit about the birds qnd the bees so he knows this is something he willdo when he is grown up but for now he can like girls but should not be hiding under things and kissing. When he asks what a grown up time is you can tell him oh 25 is nice. We know better but it is a start. Now if you choose not to tell his Dad the you need to work out a "punshment" with him for doing what he knew he was not supposed to do-this could be something with a "time chart-say on your calendar-like some jobs around the house, really important stuff so he understands there are consequenses for his actions. I feel it would be an issue to talk about with your man so this does not get out of hand later when these children are living in the same house-possibly as a brother/sister? or more so he should be talking to his son later on this subject so it is not a problem when the boy is in school. Both children need talking about how they should touch/talk/play etc with other kids. In this day it is safer for our kids to know what boundaries there are and surprizing they really like that idea for their own safety issues in school/with friends/and strangers. Prepare them before trouble happens somewhere.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I would definetly have the "what's appropriate and what's not" talk with him. He obviously knows that he shouldn't have been doing it, but put it into clear terms that he is too young to be kissing other girls.

Thankfully this is a situation that you can handle within your family/relationship. Should he kiss another girl at school or somewhere else, the parents could completely freak out about it (and rightfully so!) and that could be a pretty serious problem.

I would have a calm, but firm conversation with him. Tell him he's not in trouble, but get the facts out on the table for him so that he understands.

Like you need this kind of stuff happening while your pregnant!! Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and that you have a smooth and safe delivery! Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

It is normal but time for a family heart to heart talk about appropriate behavior especially since they could one day end up stepbrother and sister. Also make sure to explain why what they see around them isn't always appropriate for kids to copy.

also if you punish them it could send the wrong message so i would make sure to explain that to your ex. After all I'm sure they have seen you kiss your boyfriend and most likely if their other parents are dating they have seen the same there. Just make sure to explain it at their age level and to set limits. such as not being in the same bed not being covered up together just to make your point clear.

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F.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

ok dont worry it a thing they all go threw my bestfriends daughter and my son their bolth 4 and they were causght kissing....and she had seperated them and told me about it so i asked him and he said he dident and got very emotional about it like he was defending himself i had explained to him that it isint ok to kiss other girls who arnt your family members because if you go around kissing other kids you will not be able to play with them any more and once he thaught he wasent guna see his friend anymore he never did it again also he got a sore in his mouth and my husband told him it was "kissitus" lol and he was very upset that he got kissitus and he hasent kissed any one ever sence but they go in and out of these weird phases the only punishment for him and her should be time out and told what they did was wrong hope this helps :)

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B.S.

answers from Joplin on

Yes, it is normal.
No, it does NOT warrent punishment. (worst thing you can do is punish .... they really did nothing wrong)
It is simply time to explain a few simple things to him.
Talk to him (them) about feelings, appropriate ways to express feelings, etc. but keep it simple and on their age level.

It is VERY normal at this age !

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