Kid Calling My Kid a Nazi for Having Some German Ancestry

I would have, right then, in a calm casual way, corrected the boy.
And yes, I would have mentioned it to the parents.... just as an FYI.
I know my kids' friend's parents... WOULD want to know.
It is a teaching moment.
No matter what age.
And even if it was said in ignorance.

I know that in school, my kids' Teachers, if things like this happens, they DO talk to the WHOLE class about it. About name-calling, rudeness, manners, etc. and they also have "classes" with each grade, about things like this.

I don't think you need to contact the parents. If it was me I would ask the boy the next time he's over, hey I heard you say my son looks like a Nazi, what do you think a Nazi is? Talk about it with him. He probably doesn't even really know what he's talking about (like a lot of kids, lol!) I imagine he picked up a German/Nazi reference in a movie or game or something. It would be a great teachable moment.

Well seems like the kid doesn't know what he is talking about. Also seems your son handled it fine. I would wait and see if that was his fixation of the day before you do anything. What I mean is let it go unless it happens again.

Sounds like his friend found out his own heritage and misapplied his new knowledge.

Yes, tell the parents. Just casually let them know what was said and that you felt surprised and that they should have a talk to him to clarify to topic better to him, and how inappropriate it was. Otherwise, no one will know and it will continue.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I agree to drop it - unless it happens again.

I think your son handled it well.

However, if it happens again I think you should approach it educationally, rather than confrontationally - especially since the kid is 9. I would explain to him what a nazi is. Not everyone knows, they hear the term, they hear Germany and they make associations with Hitler. He can't POSSIBLY be old enough to correctly understand the historical significance. It's hard enough for them to understand the difference between the Democrat and Republican parties and they're immersed in that because they live in America. For a 9 year old to have a grasp on a political party that existed after World War 1, is asking too much.

SInce it's over, drop it. If it continues, speak up.

I'm Irish and Native American. I've actually had people that wouldn't associate with me because of my NA roots. I don't really give a damn. If they have a problem with who my relatives are that's their issue not mine.

If the child continues, I would explain that Nazi is a hurtful term and there were PLENTY of people in Germany that didn't participate in then Nazi regime. I would also explain that your relatives from centuries ago do not define who you are today.

This could come from video games. Call Of Duty Black Ops lets you shoot "Nazis".

Sorry.

:(

If it comes up again, I'd talk to the kid and ask him if he knows what that means. It may be that he picked up on something and has no idea what he really means, other than he wants to get a rise out of your son. If that doesn't work, then talk to the parents.

Drop it.
Kids are kids and this isn't a big deal.

I was born in Germany, and I went through a period - about your sons age - where I was called "Nazi", too. They're at the stage where they're starting to learn about history and they make associations like that.
Sounds like your son handled it very well.

Let it be.
Even it the kids parents taught it to him in a negative manner (which I highly doubt), what would talking to them about it accomplish?

At this point I would drop it - had I heard it happen, when it happened, I might have said something then, like "Hey, we don't talk to our friends that way here or call them names." Sounds like he was just being a dorky kid and at that age, they often have no idea what they are talking about it, and have no filter. I used to get flak when I was in school for being Polish - heard all the Polish jokes, called "Stupid Polock!" etc. At this point, I would only say something if it continues - if he is saying these things to your son in your house, I think it's ok to say something to him directly about how we treat others and act in someone else's home. And that just because one happens to have some German anscestors does not make one a "Nazi" or a follower of Hitler. Wouldn't hurt the educate the lad a bit if it comes up again.

Talk to the child's parents....have both your child and his friend present. Do not drop it....if you ever hear HATE words again, speak up and let people (kids or adults) that it is WRONG to use such terms.

Its definitely something that his parents say that he has picked up. Kids should have no way of knowing the meaning of that word. I wouldn't say anything but just keep an eye on the kids for what else he may introduce to your child. If the kids says that word again I would probably call his parents about it.

I wouldn't put too much stake in the utterings of 7 year old boys, unless it's apparent that his family are bigots.

Ask your son if it bothers him, and role play some responses with him, if he wants them. One thing he might have asked is, "What does a Nazi look like?" But I wouldn't worry too much about it. Boys call each other all kinds of names -- names are often their terms of endearment.

I don't think that you should call up the parents and make a huge deal about it. I do think that next time the child comes over to play you should mention that one of the rules in your house is that you do not call the other person any type of name that makes them unhappy. I always phrase that rule in that way because the kids will sometimes argue that "I didn't call him a BAD name" but clearly the other kid is upset. So we don't call anyone a name that makes them unhappy.

Then if you overhear the child call your son a Nazi, or any other type of name you can take him aside and talk to him about your rule. At that time you could see if he really knows what a Nazi is (he probably doesn't). Then when the child gets picked up, you could casually mention it to the parents that their son was calling your son a Nazi, and that you talked to him about calling other people names.

Well, I won't belabor the well-made points about hateful words and teaching respect, etc., since so many have already said some really wise things.

But one thing I didn't see mentioned: since this boy is eight, and will be in middle school soon enough, this could be a very dangerous thing for him. He called your son a very racially and historically charged and sensitive name, and your son responded very well. But, in the future, it might not work out so well. If this boy feels free to sling around hate speech and call someone a name based on simply a racial or ethnic heritage, he might call the wrong person a name someday soon and be beaten or targeted.

For that reason, I would tell his parents. I would say something like "I just was concerned about _______, because he called my son a name based on our ancestry. I don't think he realizes, because he's still young, that as he gets older, calling someone a racist or derogatory name might land him in a lot of trouble". (This is in addition, of course, to the basic problem of using hateful words.) He could get expelled from school, or any number of other legal troubles.

He'd better learn to keep such thoughts to himself and re-think his labeling, stereotyping, name-calling and racist language and think before speaking! It's a dangerous world out there and many of the fights, attacks and violent crimes against kids by kids are started when one kid calls another a mean name. If I knew my kid was saying things like that out loud, I would want to know so I could educate him, on acceptance, tolerance, respect kindness and personal safety.

I think that your son handled himself very well, and I'm not sure that you need to step in and tell his parents. Essentially it would be tattling on the child, and it would probably end up making him less likely to want to play with your son again.

What happened was you son gave this boy a teaching moment, which at that age is not only amazing, but mature and adult-like. I would wait and see if there are any incidents stemming from this one and go from there. I see no need to create a tempest in a teacup.

Oh gosh I would have wanted to light into that kid, but if I had, it would have gone something like: "You know what punk - Nazi-ism is alive and well today here in the USA , except the folks who believe in those sordid policies had enough self-preservation sense to go underground with their sick ideas. And guess what - they're not all Germans."

Good grief - has he ever heard of all the German scientists who founded what became NASA? They should call it the German Space Program instead.

So . . . since I couldn't have said any of the above items without an entire lesson in world history and German culture I probably would have said nothing. I think your son handled it well.

The kid probably saw a show on TV. :(

ETA: No, I wouldn't call the kid a punk (did you read the third paragraph Cheryl B.?) But I'd be thinking it! Calling someone a Nazi (especially persistently and not in a joking way) is HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. DUH. How would you feel if someone slurred your child based on their race or national heritage? Would you think of them as darling or angel?

I would drop it. He obviously has heard someone talking like that. I don't know any 8 year olds who would automatically go to "you're a Nazi" nor do I think if they did that they would really understand what they were saying. I would tell my son to ask his friend, IF it ever comes up again, what, in his opinion, does a Nazi look like. I bet the friend has no idea. I would just be curious.

Angela - would you really call an 8 year old a punk? Acceptance and tolerance dear. That's what sets us apart from the Nazi's!