Keeping My Sanity While Being a SAHM

Have you considered a home based business?? I am with Arbonne International which offers Swiss formulated skin care, cosmetics, aromatherapy, spa products and supplements. I love being able to put my families schedule on the calendar first and then my Arbonne schedule!! It is also great in that you can do this in as 'little' or as 'big' a way as you desire. If you are interested in some information, I would be happy to send you something or meet for a coffee. This business saved my sanity when my kids were young and is now providing a significant income and great satisfaction in helping other people be successful too. I can be reached at ###-###-#### or by email at ____@____.com

HI C.,

You could join a mother's group! Try this one, www.oakarbor.org/community/momstots.html. Or look on this website www.oaklandcountymoms.com for other groups and playdates.

L.

Well, first off you have to want to be home! I know several people have requested this recently, and I really can't relate, because I loved every minute--never felt the urge to work!

But, you also need to keep busy and have fun with your daughter! Your chid is at a great age to do fun activites. Join a moms/play group. Winter is the hardest. Pull her around in a sled. When it is too cold to go out do fun things in--finger paint with pudding, bring a small slid in, fill a play pool with balls,let her climb on cushions.

When my kids were a bit older I would do an obstacle course witht them--give them several things to do (up the stairs, down the slid and touch the fence) then I would time them, and they would see who did this the fastest, or beat their own time!

Listen to music and dance around and get silly--kids love to watch their parents get silly! Blow bubbles inside! When spring comes go to different parks. I was lucky when my kids were little we lived walking distance to 4 nice parks, and we would go to a different one every day before dinner! They loved to choose!

The possibilities are endless! But, the key is to stay busy!

Have Fun and GL:)

C., I'm also a SAHM of three- 6yrs. and under, expecting #4. I think most moms need some outlet to converse and relate to other adults. However, I also think that so often we, as mothers, feel like we're not "doing much." But, raising children is one of the most important things we can do! Teaching them right from wrong, loving them, etc. The world views would have you look at yourself, "are your needs being met?" etc. Motherhood is one of those life-long things that requires a lot of patience and sacrifice. But it's all worth it. Am I making sense? You should do what you need to do- working full/part time or not. But you shouldn't feel guilty that you are currently not working and are a SAHM. We mothers ARE working all the time! So enjoy your kids and enjoy some time with other adults, too :) [This is advice I should listen to.] Hope this helps. Have a great day!

Hi C.,
I have been a SAHM for 7 1/2 years now and I have a friend that just recently quit her 22 year career to stay at home with her 2 young ones. If you are at home or in a career, there is always going to be guilt involved. For those in a career outside the home, it's the fact that you are missing time with your kids or that you truly enjoy the break. For those at home (like me) I still feel guilt with not doing enough with my kids, that I'm taking care of the house and the meals and picking up 24-7 and I just don't want to create yet one more mess with playdoh or moon sand! But all in all, the fact that you are concerned about being a good mom tells me that you are one. Only the moms not caring if they are probably are not connected into mothering. You have taken on a wild task - one that will require all of you - to raise these little ones and let me encourage you with a "you can do it!" because I know that no one else on the planet are made for your kids but you. God plans it that way...ha ha. My only other suggestion is to check out a MOPs group in your area - they are sponsored through churches and they are specifically geared for mothers of preschoolers. I know you have a bevy of children different ages, but it is such a supportive group and I've been involved in it in 2 different states and I don't know what I'd do without it. You can look up a MOPs group in your area by going onto MOPs.org and it will look up groups all around you. Just a thought - it's great because you get good childcare and are able to sit for a couple of hours and get mother support and good food! May God bless you as you go on - I hope this note encouraged you...

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Staying at home can get old fast especially if you've always held a job outside the home. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job, but there is something more personally fulfilling about working outside of the home and getting a salary for it. You get adult communication too, so that's important. Working outside the home gives you an identity and getting paid measures your worth. It also teaches your kids independence and responsibility. If working outside the home gives you satisfaction and makes you happy, go find another job. Make finding your new job your full time job for now. It sounds like you are a happier mom when you work--that's very important in making you a better mom. For some, staying at home can get depressing and mundane. I worked full time until 3 years ago until becoming a stay at home mom. Some days are easier than others. I miss the adult communication and the paycheck. Eventually, I will be going back to work when my son is a little older. I've found that reaching out to my community and connecting with other stay at home moms really helps me. Maybe reach out to your church? I have a friend who was a high powered executive turned stay at home mom. She has a very dynamic approach to staying at home. She really divides up her days with going to the gym, going out with friends, and volunteering. She has babysitters come in and watch her kids for a few hours a week. This gives her a change of pace and her kids too. So, there are benefits to both sides. She's joined many community groups to keep busy and stay connected with people. She also does things with her kids too like participating in daycare and playgroups. She even goes on vacations by herself every few months just to take a breather. If you have that kind of energy, use it! Also, have you looked at working for your children's school district? I know a few moms who got jobs working at the school their children attended and they love working for the school district.

Hope this helps!

MC

Hi C.,
It's a good thing to be at home for your family. If you were able to still be working, you might get home at 3:30, and be busy with dinner and the baby and not notice any tension that may exist between the girls. You have a big family! Be "ground control" for them; the one who makes sure homework is done, heads off fights at the pass, is there to confide in, etc. Especially with older kids, there is so much going on. Someone needs to be in charge of keeping schedules, at least. It really takes a lot to do this job well, but you can do it, with commitment.
God bless, and do your best.

Hi C. !
Boy do I know where you're coming from!! I too have been in the same situation that you are. Not sure if this is what you 're looking for but just thought I would throw it out there. It's done WONDERS for me!!

I would love to invite you to check out my awesome business that I have gotten into.
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If you would like to take just a few minutes to check out my site at www.myseriesse.com/bdavis and just click on "products" at the top left hand side you can see for yourself what we have to offer and a model deminstrating them.
You can also click on the OPPORTUNITY link next to it and find out more about the business.
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Best regaurds,
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Seriesse Consultant
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I wish I had good news for you. I am going through a similar situation. I am the mother of a 2 1/2 year old and a 12 week old. I lost my job when I was pregnant for my oldest and due to circumstances have not went back to work. I was just starting to get the hang of things and enjoy my oldest when I got pregnant for our newest addition. I try to be as involved outside of the house as I can. I have the girls enrolled in Kindermusik once a week. I tried story hour for the oldest but she in't into that right now can't sit still. I am part of a mother's bible study once a week and if I am lucky I can get my husband to watch the girls while I make a mad dash for the grocery store alone...can't stay gone to long since I am nursing the baby and she refuses to take a bottle and her daddy is still afraid to change her diapers because she is so small...beginning to think that is an excuse. Try to find fun things you can do with your youngest during the day. Meet other mothers that you enjoy talking to and spending time with...they are my key and hopefully they will be yours. Good Luck!

Hi C.

I really don't have any advise because I am in the same situation. My job was eliminated after 13years with the company (car dealership in Michigan) and I have 2 children that have Down syndrome. My oldest is 8 and in school all day, my youngest is 5 and goes half day and I am going crazy and getting nothing done. I have been trying to get her in a play/mom's group and that gets both out and a chance to be with some other moms in the same situation. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you the best. I am taking the elimination of my position as a sign that maybe this is where I need to be and just patience will get us used to it.

Good luck and God Bless
K. S

Hi C.~

I know what you mean...I have three little kids ages 4,3, and 6 months and I worked a great job then I got laid off while I was pregnant with my first baby. My husband and I thought that was a sign to stay home with our kids. At first I thought that was going to be the best thing ever! But again I went nuts then I thought I should go work at the mall or something..Tried that and I didnt like being away from the kids that long. So know Im a consultant for Tastefully Simple ( which is for food in case you didnt know what it was) and I love it!!! I do home taste-testing parties which is so much fun..Because I meet other adults and make some extra money. Im not a party pusher and I still get people that what to have parties all the time. I pick what nights I want to work and thats fun. If you want to know more about this I would be glad to talk with you about this. I love it and stay home during the day with the kids and some nights do my parties.
Thanks,
C.

Hi C. .. I am also C. ..

Funny, I decided to QUIT my job when we got pregnant for my last baby. She is now 6 and I have been home everyday for and with her. We homeschool all of our kids and I also work from home. I never have looked back to going back to the corporate rat race .. I dont miss the deadlines, stress and lack of seeing my kids.

Get involved in a mommy group locally. There is are things like MOTS or MOPS .. if you get out of the house, you will not miss the adult contact so much.

My kids are 17, 15, 13 and 6. They grow so quickly, I am so glad I decided to be a SAHM and work from home to earn the income I needed to do all of our extra's in life.

Keep in touch!

Been there, done that! I am sure that you too will make it thru this. If you would like to consider your own business, at home, that you would love, I'd love to talk to you! (I am sure many people will make that suggestion! The fun part is that you get to pick! That never happens.)

My business is www.marketamerica.com/TheVoiceOfTruth .

Hang in there!

S.
____@____.com

Wow! You've gotten some AWESOME suggestions!!!
I will just put this out there...if you are looking for a Work from home job such as one of those home parties someone reccommended, I work with one of the best. We are new, most haven't heard of us and what women doesn't love handbags and jewerly? And legal ones at that!!!
I can completely Identify with you...when I worked full time as an accountant and got pregnant, I dreamt of being the stay at home mom, content to take care of the kids and the house. I quit my full time job but kept my WAH job with PartyLite. It was perfect!!! Extra money, stay home with kids during the day, work about 12 nights a week OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! plus made some great friends with the other gals and some great extra money, almost replaced my accounting salary! I loved it. Then baby number 2 came along and hubby got an INCREDIBLE raise at work so I quit. I was a full time SAHM for 2 months with an almost 2 year old and one on the way. I too almost went nuts.
I joined my current direct sales job with Butterfly and it again has created the perfect balance. Hubby went through a job change and lost the raise he had gotten before so again the money was neccessary. mY kids even help me work the business now labeling books and what not.
I would encourage you to look into it, even just having the party is fun...you cold even do it with other SAHM moms durign the day while the kids are at school. Fun way to connect.
I iwll disagree with you on one point however...I think I"m married to the greatest guy on earth!!! :-)
Take care!
A.

i can relate to that sanity thing! after working all my adult life(i was 36 when i had my twins) being thrown into being home all day w/2 babies was a jolt to my chit chatty nature!.
as much as i loved playing and being w/my babes i missed that adult contact. i belonged to a moms site and that helped but it still kept me in the house.
the gift from God was when i found the local MOPS(mothers of preschoolers) group! i belonged for 4 yrs and it allowed me to connect w/other moms, refresh my faith and take on responsibilies where i could feel good and see that what i was doing made a difference(you don't see the results of being a mom until yrs later sometimes).
I now belong to the pta. I doesn't matter which group you join just being a part of something helps to ground you and gives you those times away from home.
just don't get into the trap that i did that i said yes to so many things that i was volunteering more that i was home. good luck and remember we all have gone thru this!

C., well you are used to having a lot of freedom with your other children being older so what a life change for you. Not everyone loves being at home. I was at home for a long time but I also have high social needs so I'd suggest a couple of things I did. Call a friend or two or three and chat. Join a Bible study. Set up a ladies coffee or desert club where you meet once or twice a month at eachothers houses with the kids, on a rotating basis. Go to story hour, lots of Moms there to chat with. Or host a product party once in awhile just so you can invite friends over for fun and food. Or sell something yourself in the afternoons- Tupperware/ Mary Kay or something so you can get out of the house with some women for a social gathering. Any way, just a few ideas. K.

Hi, C.
Have you considered starting your own home-based business. You may or may not be interested, but I'd love to share information about my company with you. I'm an Independent Associate with Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc. When you have a few moments, please visit www.pplmediaroom.com. I believe you will find what we do as amazing as the business opportunity. If you'd like additional information, and I think you will, feel free to contact me toll free 1l-877-500-9118, or email me at ____@____.com.

Hi C.,
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I miss working even though I had a very unfufilling job. Its the adult interaction I think I miss the most. I say this all the time those of you who envy staying at home---its not for everyone. I am not bored I am more busy now than ever before while working. I just want to pull my hair out half of the time. I think in my case if I had some help from outside family I would go back to work at least part time. Unfortunately I dont. and No one wants to hire someone who can work 8 - 12:30 and thats the hours I have my hubby here. Any how to your problems. Try to get out with other adults (lol not that I do). I also lock the bathroom door and take long baths on occasion and read a book while I am in there. I also love the internet. My connection to the outside world. Its great. Don't feel guilty. You are not alone. There are alot of us who find this more frustrating than harmonious. Have a good one.

Hi C.,

Being a stay-at-home mom is a HUGE adjustment! For me, it took about a year to really settle into the role. It is so much harder than it appears. If you choose to continue being a SAHM, give yourself time to adjust. I would suggest joining a moms club or playgroup. I've met some really great moms that way. It gets you out of the house and the kids get that interaction they need too. Luckily spring is on the way. The parks will be buzzing again. Just being out of the house for a couple of hours can make the day seem not so endless. Good Luck!

You just need to make sure you have some time for you - some social time that is "yours" yet still "productive." SAHM is very demanding emotionally and the "hugs and kisses" perks don't fulfill all your needs. I suggest you try a home party business - I personally do PartyLite (candles/accessories/spa products) but there are many to choose from (Tupperware, Arbonne, Pampered Chef, Lia Sophia, etc.) They'll give you a social outlet, income, and the opportunity to schedule on YOUR time. I think it's the best of both worlds.
Let me know how it goes and my site is www.partylite.biz/TKO if you want to check out just one possibility.

I have 3 boys. Ages 6, 3 and 16 months. I totally know what you are going through. I worked full time when I had my first son. He even came with me to work. When I was pregnant with my second son my job was eliminated. I liked it for a little while then I thought I would go crazy! I was used to bringing in my own income. Tupperware is an awesome company to work for. I have done other work from home companies and ended up paying more out of my pocket than I was bringing in! So I was hesitant at first but my first party I made $125.00 and got 4 other bookings! You can choose to do in home parties, catalog parties, online parties and fundraisers! As soon as they customer places the order they pay for it. So there is no chasing them down later to get your money! You take your % out of it immediately! So there is no waiting to get paid!! You can work as much or as little as you would like. The orders are delivered right to the Host so it is less running around for you. The start up is very low. $79.99 for the business kit(you get over $350.00 in products) $129.99 for the Executive Kit (you get over $550.00 in products) All of the products you can use in your own kitchen so you are not losing any money!! I have only been in the company 10 months and I am a Director in Qualification! I am a very honest person so if you have any questions please e-mail me and I will answer them all truthfully and not just try to sell you a line. Please check out my website. It is cute and updated monthly! So you want to make serious money please contact me.

M. Bussies
Tupperware, Director in Qualification
www.my.tupperware.com/melissabussies

Hi C.,

I can completely relate to the desire to be both an awesome mom and a business person. If you're interested in exploring a career that allows you to set your own schedule and earn what you desire, please visit my website at www.paulawygonik.myarbonne.com. This could be the right vehicle for you. I am a 40 year old mother of two who owns a marketing business and works part time as a regional vice president with Arbonne. Please call if you would like to learn more. I'd love to help.

Cheers

P. Wygonik
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Try to find joy in caring for your Children and home. I am also a stay at home Mom of a 14 year old Daughter, and twin 8 year old boys. I enjoy organizing and caring for our home while the kids are at school. I paint their rooms colors they choose. Make them special meals that I know they like after school. Daughter is a vegetarian so that's a job in its self. I do occasionally get tired of the same old same old. I pick up a few jobs when I can. I do Home organizing for clients.
Which is fun amd I enjoy it. Just try and enjoy the time you have, which with four kids I imagine you are quite busy.