Keeping House Clean

Updated on April 25, 2010
M.B. asks from Eugene, OR
40 answers

Hi Everyone!

I get such great help from this site, I thought I ask yet another question. About 7 months ago, I left my job to stay home with my 2 girls. It is something I always wanted since having my first child. Prior to leaving my job, my hubby and I always had an issue keeping our house clean. My husband is not the cleanest guy and I really don't like cleaning ... I mean .. who does? So once I left my job, I was really excited to be a better wife and mom by keeping the house cleaner. I am not a neat freak so it doesn't have to be perfect. I just want it tidy and picked up. But in 7 months, I still have a messy house and I can't seem to get it together. I really thought I would embrace the stay at home mom attitude. My husband is great because he is not ridiculing me for the house not being clean, but I know he hopes that I would get it together. He really likes having me home and I know he would love to come home to a clean house.

So how do I get my act together? I have tried FlyLady and I really like the idea of routines, but I can't seem to do the routines all the time. I will do really good for a few days and then I fizzle out. It's like if I am tired and I want to take a day off, my house explodes. I'm trying to change my attitude of cleaning ... the word chore seems so negative. When my house is clean, I am so less stressed, but I'm just not consistent. Hubby doesn't pick up after himself well, but he does help in other ways.

Any ideas?

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Featured Answers

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have been getting rid of "stuff" I used to have so much "stuff". It was hard trying to clean around it or movei I used to not be able to get rid of anything. I didn' have paths or dirty dishes around-nothing like the show horders but it was getting to be too much. I lave less to clean and that makes less stress for me. Now, if I could just get my 4-year old to stop cutting paper and leaving little strips around the house.

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S.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

My hubby is a clean freak!!!! Since i only work weekends, i do most of it.

i do laundry everyday (3 boys,hubby,me) put it away right away, kids put there socks, pjs and undies away themselves

Do floores everyday w steam mop. takes 10 mins

make beds and bring down towels in morning whiloe everyone is getting dressed

unload dishwaher while kiddies are eating, reload soon

bathrooms every other day

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Austin on

Do you live in my house?
I can't stand clutter. The list thing only works for a little while (along with schedule's) until someone has something they have to do. Like Preschool. Or dr. appointments. You miss one day then it seems like everything is thrown off.
The only thing I've found that helps is to get rid of "stuff". All of it. Go through toys and get rid of baby things. Go through clothes and get rid of anything you don't wear. Also, stop buying stuff.
As far as cleaning before you leave the house.....if I did that I would never leave.

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A.M.

answers from Spokane on

Okay i can tell you what I did.

I was never clean or organized! EVER!!!!!! So when I became a single mom it got worse. I felt like a terrible mother because my house was never clean. My mom told me to forgive myself for the things I wasn't good at. I love this because we spend so much time being upset by what we can't do we don't see what we can. If you are spending time being a good mom then thats great! Love yourself for your strengths.

Once you have done that you can decide which room is most important to get and stay clean, talk to your husband too he needs to be on board with this. for me it ws the living room. Talk with your husband and your kiddos and explain that you all are going to start working on keeping the living room cleaner. this means you may need to take one full day all together and clean it spotless. It may not stay this way but it a place to start. After you are done cleaning every day and night when the kids are asleep take the time to clean the living room, don't worry about other rooms until you have gotten the skill of this room down. After a month or two or however long in take to keep the room clean with out it exploding again pick a new room.

This is all about making a habit. all the time forgiving yourself for the messes in the other rooms knowing you will one day get to them. If you try to do it all at once then it may be too big to keep up with.

I have been doning this for two years. I clean NOT spotless but clean home that I am happy to have people over too. I just started focusing on our bed room. It was the last place for me because that was my personal space. My son cleans his room and deos very well helping out. We teach our kids good habit that they will carry with them later.

Good luck and remember to forgive yourself, you will get there.

Ps: get rid on what youdo not need. it only makes extra cludder!!!!!!

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

M.:

Congratulations on being a SAHM!!! I know it's not an easy job!!

Here's what I do.

1. Make a list of what I want to do - this is an example - not my schedule but an example...
Monday - Laundry - change the sheets on the bed and towels in the bathroom.
Tuesday - get coupons together, make list and go grocery shopping
Wednesday - clean bathrooms
Thursday - vacuum and mop floors
Friday - relax

You didn't say how old your kids are - if they are old enough - they can pick up their own toys. The rule in our home is "if you play with it - you put it away". I give them THREE (3) chances to pick something up if they forget - if I pick it up - it's mine to do with - charity, ebay or make them EARN it back.

When I do my laundry-it's the day I clean the bedrooms and bathrooms. My kids are old enough to put their laundry away - I spoil them - I separate them (undies, socks, PJs, etc.) so it makes it easier on them to put awayl. I also put MY laundry away after each and every load so it's not a HUGE task. Which we all know can be overwhelming.

When I get up in the AM - I empty the dishwasher while the kids are eating breakfast. I put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher - so my kitchen stays tidy.

The key is getting rid of your excess. That's the problem that EVERYONE runs into - the excess - you have a lot of knick-nacks? you don't want to dust because you don't want to pick each and every one up. If you haven't touched it or looked at it in six months - get rid of it. It's a HUGE process, I confess - as we are in the middle of deciding ebay, trash or donate.

Last week I went room by room and washed the walls, cleaned the windows, blinds, etc. got rid of things - that was SOOOOOOOOOO liberating!!! And now that it's done - it's easy to stay up on.

I make my bed EVERY morning - that in and of itself is WONDERFUL!!!

I hope this helps!!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I really think my problem in my house is clutter. I believe if I had the guts to throw everything out and just have main important items, it would be much more clean. Think model home!

1 mom found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from New York on

Give flylady another chance, but make it way simpler (one page, one week, see below). With a toddler and hubby and most household work falling on my shoulders, my house slowly started falling apart. Sticking to Flylady's routines seemed hard but when I starting doing simple chore charts for my 3-old it dawned on me I could do the same for me.

This sounds really silly but it totally works with a 3 year old and it worked for me. Forget about the control journal Flylady recommends for now. Buy "my chore chart" in the children's supply store of your local Staples or office supply store. The one I but has a big yellow star with a blue border and is made by Trend - it comes with a bunch of chore charts, one for each week

http://www.amazon.com/CHORE-CHARTS-STARS-25/dp/B001AZBTLS...

Fill it in as follows (parenthesis just explain it a little more, no need to include those):
(days) S M T W T F S

CARING FOR MYSELF
Get dressed including shoes
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner

CLEANING MY ROOM (every day)
Make DS' bed
Clean DS bathroom (quick swipe of counters with lysol wipe, swish a squirt of shampoo and brush the toilet bowl, wipe the seat down with the wipe).
Make our bed
Clean our bathroom (see DS above)

DOING CHORES AT HOME
Empty dishwasher (first thing in the morning)
Run dishwasher (wnen full)
One load of laundry a day (set timer to wash, dry, fold and put away)
Daily challenge (little 15 min chores given by Flylady sent by e-mails)

OTHER THINGS I NEED TO DO
Vacuum (once a week)
Water plants (1-2x week)
Get clothes ready for next day (every day)
Shine the sink (every night)

As you do each thing, mark the corresponding box with a square, but only when you do it all the way (load of laundry means from wash to putting it away to count). Pretty soon it becomes a game, as you try to fill in as many boxes as possible. Reward yourself if you manage to fill in a whole section. Take a bubble bath or do something fun, buy a favorite book, whatever.

I sometimes fall off the wagon. I'm now pregnant and on bedrest, due in July (an eternity) - I spend most of my days in bed and have been forced to let the house go. My 3 year old told me this morning "daddy's nice. I'm nice. You're bad. It bothers me you don't go to the park with me and wash dishes". He's right. So we spent an hour today getting that sink nice and shiny and washing dishes, following flylady's tips. What joy and feeling of success. He's happy too. "We make a great team mom!" he said. Purple puddles as flylady would say.

Don't beat yourself up, just take it one little chore at a time. Don't try to catch up.

1 mom found this helpful

H.K.

answers from Gainesville on

have someone over every week for supper, that will give you something to work toward, instead of the humdrum cleaning when it just gets messy again.
If you are like me....the house has to be tip top for any kind of special guests.
I had a family living with us in our guest house for 4 months and they used our kitchen etc, I was up and cleaned by the time they came in each day. I felt lazy for them to see my house in any kind of disarray.....now they are gone and I have adopted some very good habits from the whole experience.
I try to concentrate on the nasty places first everyday. The kitchen and bathroom are full of germs and smells.....if they are clean and sanitized, i feel so much better. Set goals and see if you can reach them....

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

The whole idea is to get going, and not to feel as if you have to get everything done right away. Because honestly, few of us ever get everything done. But you can definitely improve your satisfaction with your home if you have a few positive tricks.

Set your timer for 10 minutes. Start picking up anything! Do not answer the phone. Do not have the tv on. You may want to have good, bouncy music playing. If you hear the timer ring, set it again, and pick up for another 10 minutes. Amazingly, some days you get into it and don't even have to reset the timer. Also, don't stop to read anything (bill, note, anything!). If you find anything to read, put it in one pile next to where you will treat yourself to a sit-down time daily to read these things.

If this doesn't work for you, do the count to 10 trick. Start to pick up one room and find 10 things to pick up. For some of us, that gets us going.

And finally, use the 10 second trick. If you have something in your hand and you can deal with it in 10 seconds, do it now! So if it needs to be tossed, go and toss it, don't put it down. If ingredients need to be put back, do it as you cook. This method deals with tons of little things that really add up to clutter.

P.S. The invite someone over once a week idea was great! Even for a card game or coffee and dessert!

1 mom found this helpful

G.R.

answers from Dallas on

i clean in the morning it takes about 2 hours also i teach my kids to help me pick up all the things in the floor and i do a quick clean in the nights it takes about 30 min. when everybody goes to sleep also my husband sometimes does not pick up fter himself but thats ok is no big deal i do that every day and when we go out early in the morning i get up before everybody or i clean in the night before.

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E.E.

answers from Portland on

Get plastic bins and take most of ur kids toys and half ur kids books in them then put store these in garage and once a month change out toys and books. They don't need very many toys on hand and u will b surprised how much more they use imagination. Then spring clean and get rude of things u never use eg you may have 4 pie pans and never make pie. Less is more. I didn't see how r but if 2 and up have them get involved with picking up after themselves

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

You sound like you are "thawing" out from the work regimen and you are enjoying "vacation" from work. Once you get really tired of seeing the house work, you will begin thinking about it as one big project/spring cleaning you have to get done. By that time you will be in the SAHM mode and have a schedule going. If you're like me, housework doesn't add up the same to me as a regular mental type project. It requires organization and physical labor, and you may just be so tired in your body still, you have not had the chance to get it going. I learned the "everything must have a home" concept, and it has helped me tremendously to get started and keep house clean and organized.

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

M.-
You have a lot of ideas to work with from these responses. Many of them have a list or timer or strategy. I have been a SAHM for 5 years now, and my girls are 7, 5, 2 and 21 weeks along ;) My husband likes for everything to be in its place, but has spent enough time being home with the kids to know how hard it is to keep the house clean, so he doesn't give me a hard time at all. He helps clean up whenever he can, which I greatly appreciate.

Anyway, you didn't say how old your kids are, but we have always taught them to put their own toys and books away since they were big enough to play with any, giving the appropriate amount of help as needed for the age. Also this past year we started our girls with chores and allowance. My oldest cleans the main bathroom and my second sorts the laundry. If they do their jobs on Wed and Sat/Sun they get their allowance for the week. Just those two small things help me tremendously!

I just decide for myself what is most important for me to have clean that day. It is almost always the area where we spend the most time - Kitchen/dining/living area in our split level house. My husband found a little TV for me at goodwill recently, and it makes cleaning up after the girls leave for school so much more enjoyable! I turn on the morning show and do dishes and sweep the floor. At least if my kitchen/dining area is clean I feel at peace. Then I move on to other chores for the day, such as laundry, bedroom cleaning, office work, or rec room.

In short, if my main living space is in order, then the rest of the work gets cycled through in the course of the week. Also, I would leave you with a poem that I go through in my head when my kids are asking me to play and I want to say, "No, I have work to do.":
Let me sit with my baby and play for a while,
And forget all the unfinished work with a smile.
For every tomorrow holds work to be done,
But lullabye moments and peek-a-boo fun
Are life's special treasures meant just for today -
For babies grow up, and the years slip away.

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O.D.

answers from Seattle on

i start with the kitchen. it might seem silly but a lot of people have issues with keeping the dishes done. as soon as i am finished eating the meals and have placed them in the sink, no sooner am i washing them. there is something (for me) about getting that one task done right away that sets the tone. finishing the dishes, means washing down the counter which leads to cleaning the stove top etc. within a few minutes i have this area done and it's motivating. don't take on everything at once. set your sites on one room (like the kitchen example here) and go from there. additionally, i have a sponge in the bathroom that stays on the counter top. every time i use the bathroom counter after washing my hands, i wipe down that area. it's a "clean so you don't need to clean" approach for me. little steps every day allow the mess to stay minimal when the real cleaning time comes and it doesn't feel as overwhelming. another idea that worked for me: a calendar on the fridge. one thing a day or two to check off the list. doing it and checking it makes me feel accomplished. may work for you too. good luck to you.

Updated

i start with the kitchen. it might seem silly but a lot of people have issues with keeping the dishes done. as soon as i am finished eating the meals and have placed them in the sink, no sooner am i washing them. there is something (for me) about getting that one task done right away that sets the tone. finishing the dishes, means washing down the counter which leads to cleaning the stove top etc. within a few minutes i have this area done and it's motivating. don't take on everything at once. set your sites on one room (like the kitchen example here) and go from there. additionally, i have a sponge in the bathroom that stays on the counter top. every time i use the bathroom counter after washing my hands, i wipe down that area. it's a "clean so you don't need to clean" approach for me. little steps every day allow the mess to stay minimal when the real cleaning time comes and it doesn't feel as overwhelming. another idea that worked for me: a calendar on the fridge. one thing a day or two to check off the list. doing it and checking it makes me feel accomplished. may work for you too. good luck to you.

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M.N.

answers from Yakima on

How about picking one day a week for major chores . On the other days try and do minor jobs. I use nap time to accomplish dinner prep and some housecleaning. I fold laundry while they nap and we put it away when they wake up. If the girls want to go to the park after nap they help with daily vacuming and dusting. We make it a game and they feel part of the process of keeping things clean. All toys get picked up before dinner. I don't care if they go in a plastic bin we pick up. Before I go to bed I make certain all the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher and I run it. I wipe down the counters in the kitchen and at least it will look nice first thing in the morning. The girls and i make the beds in the morning before we go off to school or activities. If i don't walk into a mess when i get home from shopping or whatever outside the house activity I am doing I feel less stress. Find the time of day that works for you and the things that are important to you to get done everyday. I will tell the kids tomorrow we need to get this done so we can go have a playdate. The usually help because they want to see their friends. I am not a neat freak. My house is not spotless. I do like to have some order. I can't stand walking into the house and seeing stuff all over. My husband doesn't help alot. So I try hard to keep things picked up at least. Good luck.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

I've been a SAHM for nearly 3 years since my oldest was born. My house isn't clean either, but it's because I'm busy doing things with my kids. My oldest takes a long nap daily that means I can't do noisy cleaning. Cut yourself some slack. Having a tidy nice it good, but having happy kids who experience life is great!

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B.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I feel the exact same way. I can't even count how many lists I've made that say, "Monday - Floors, Tuesday - Bathroom, Wednesday - Kitchen" etc etc. I can't stay disciplined either!! It's so tough. I don't have a dishwasher either, so I get SO burned out of washing dishes day in and day out.

I'm going to check back to what answers you get!

One thing that has helped me though, is to never leave the house when it's messy. We run through and tidy up before we walk out the door. Nothing worse than a big mess to greet you when you get back! It's amazing how much keeping a house is a mental thing...just as much as it is physically cleaning!!! Good luck!!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I thought I was the only one who struggled with this! :)

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

great question...I am also a SAHM and before I was a mom I had a super clean house, now it is so awful!!! I did try fly lady and it has helped a bit, but I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband that firs does not care about the mess and second helps out SO much w/out him I could not do it. I dont have an answer so sorry but I just wanted to say that ALL my SAHM have this same issue. I am in a moms group and we have just decided to host playdates where if it is held at your house the kids will play and the mom attending will watch our kids and we will get to clean. I am really excited about starting this as I think it will really help...maybe you can try this too. xo

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

i am a neat freak, but i don't like to clean, i just like things to BE clean lol! i do have a list that i follow daily for the most part. i have certain chores that get done each day of the week(some things get done more than once a week), and i do my best to stick to it. i am a sahm mom with 3 kids(7,4, & 1) and 4 indoor dogs and a largish house(3400sf). if you are interested in my "chore chart", send me a private message with your email, and i'll email you my list :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I once read that you should throw away at least 10 things every day and it's a good idea! Also, give FlyLady another try...the habits DO become habits after awhile.
I think the house actually stays cleaner when NO O. is home all day. My kid needs a personal assistant and right now, it's ME! LOL

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E.A.

answers from Seattle on

I don't have any answers. It sounds like you're doing better then me but we're almost in the very same boat.

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H.O.

answers from Portland on

Hi M., just so you know I struggled with this when I first had my oldest and quit work to stay home. What really helped me to keep up on things and at least feel good about getting this done was to plan out my week. I did this with menu & chore planning. It has been so helpful to me and has saved me an incredible amount of time!! I have a board where I not only plan out meals but chores. I use magnets so if I don't feel like doing what I have planned for the day I can easily switch to another one but still know I have accomplished something that day. The same goes forcthe menu planning only when I switch what I have planned for a meal I know I have all the ingredients I need in my house no more daily or last minute trips to the store!! This not only saves a ton of money but time!! I plan it out twice a months, it takes about 30 minutes and then I don't have to think about it anymore until the next payday!! With the time I save not running to the store all the time or worrying about what's for dinner I can use to do an extra chore or two for the day too!! I plan my chores so I do one thing a day then everything gets done at least once a week and there is so much less stress and everyday I feel accomplished!! If I have some extra time because it is an easy meal night I can sneak in an extra not weekly chore like giving the dog a bath or something. People tease me I am "so organized" but really I am lazy in my mind because it is sooooo much faster to make a quick plan with magnets and know what I want to cook & clean that day so I save time not having to think about it or dwell on it each day ;). If you are interested in seeing a board & magnets go to www.createdformoms.com and click on "A H. Moment" then meal planner. It is great for chores but also the amount of money I save on groceries with planning has paid for my board almost everytime I go shopping. I have several friends that are now hooked on menuing and chore planning that we all feel lost if we don't do it and our houses feel more crazy and messy and just less time in our days if we don't do it. I can't believe how much less stressed and better I feel doing it. By the way I have a 3 year old & 8 month old so I know how you feel trying to keep up!! Hope this helps and good luck ;)

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

My thought is that you have to do what fits best to your personality or it just won't happen. I too hate cleaning, so this is what has worked best for me. I find that if I keep my kitchen clean and the laundry done as my priority, it makes me happy. I find that if I do five minute spurts of "picking up" once or twice a day, which includes help from the wee one, that works well. I'll also do a 5 min burst of dusting or quick wiping down of the bathroom. I make sure that places that collect clutter I have a basket there and the clutter goes in the basket to be distributed up or downstairs as needed. I look at the bigger stuff like deep cleaning bathrooms or floors as a workout and put on fun music to break a sweat and get in "gym time". Those happen once a week or so. I've also been picking various spaces to declutter and give things to goodwill or craigslist. Slowly but surely everything is coming along.

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D.F.

answers from Portland on

I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years and still havent gotten the hang of it. I have found that if I invite people over at least once or twice a week it forces me to clean. Otherwise, I try and do one task each day, ie bathroom, floors, bedroom, dust etc. The problem with that is not everything is clean at once and it still looks like a mess.

My partner is a neat freak so my daughter and I try to at least straighten up and put al the toys, books, food etc away coming home from work and that helps too.

Let go of thinking you have to do it all and do the best you can. Then invite someone over!

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

I asked that question on here one time and someone gave me the schedule they used, which is to do one thing each day. Trying to do it all at once is just too overwhelming. Here is what she gave me and it works pretty well!

Monday - Sheets on all of the beds
Tuesday - Dust whole house and empty all garbage cans
Wedensday - Toilets, mirrors and bathroom surfaces
Thursday - Tubs and showers
Friday - Microwave, sink, fridge (kitchen)
Weekend - Floors (vacuum, sweep, mop)

You can change around what you do on which days depending on your schedule, but this way, you do a little at a time and you have a higher chance of success. You don't feel like you're "cleaning the whole house", but you pretty much always have a clean house since everything gets done once per week. Also, and I'm horrible at this, you should try to do a load of laundry every day so that it doesn't all pile up. This never happens in my house, but I'm sure I would be a happier camper if I did! :-)

Good luck...hope this helps!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I haven't read any of the responses yet, but I felt as if I was reading my own post!!! It is very difficult to keep up with a toddler, keep the house clean, and cook dinner. I'm very blessed in that I have a very considerate (and extremely neat) husband who always tries to pick up the slack for me. He never complains about it, but it does get tiresome when you look at the unfolded laundry, the toys strewn all over the house, the dishes in the sink, and the cluttered countertops. I wish you the best of luck and I will be keeping tabs on this one...maybe I can try some of these out too!

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

I know how you feel. I think making sure you at least do the bare minimum on the days you feel tired is important. If you keep the dishes clean and do a few pick-up sessions with the girls, then you should be fine to take the rest of the day off. I work full-time from home, so I understand. I try to fit in 1 load of laundry, dishes and I ask the kids to help do little things with me for a few minutes. Somehow having "help" makes it seem more fun. Don't be too h*** o* yourself and when you have energetic days do a little more of the real cleaning. It's incredibly hard to keep up with everything. Keep in mind that your daughters will remember you playing with them and all the fun you have with them and the house cleaning can wait. Another big thing that helps me is that I try to do my housework when I'm most energetic. That's usually in the morning for me. So, I have a little routine that is pretty simple, but more than the nighttime routine. Because I'm lucky to be able to do anything at night since I'm usually working after the kids go to bed. Good luck!

T.B.

answers from Chicago on

I still struggle with this. I used to wonder why my working friends always had such tidy homes, then I remembered, THEIR kids aren't home all day like mine is! Cut yourself some slack, ask your hubby for help, and teach the kids to clean up one thing before they take out another. If they want a snack or treat, have them clean up after themselves first. Bit by bit it gets done. We have cleaning ladies that come every 2 weeks, so they do the general stuff- floors, bathrooms, change sheets. It gives me more of a chance to do more "detailed" cleaning when I get a chance, but one day after they were here, you'd never know it! I think having a list of things to do each day is great. You just have to realize that there's probably not going to be a time when "everything" is clean. :) What's most important is not your clean house, but the time you spend with your kids.

Good luck,
T.
Barefoot Books Team Leader
www.ReadandGrow.com

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M.B.

answers from New York on

OMG we are living the same life!!!

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I get on kicks when I try to clean and organize. It is difficult unless you do a little every day. Some days I make it my goal to sanitize the toys, others it is to dust and vacuum, get the baseboards, file in the office. It seems like every day there are dishes and laundry. It really has been easier since we put my son in a part time preschool program since I can come home and spend an hour on the floors (which is really hard when he tries to help).

It is non-stop. When I got pregnant this time we hired a maid for twice a month. This has been awesome because it gives me a start over point where dusting and floors don't have to be done for a couple days. So I spend the cleaning time organizing, grocery shopping or cooking for a day or two ahead of time.

I am a big fan of lists. I have a running list for my hubby or fix it and broken things. One for Costco. One for grocery. A to do list for me so I don't forget things going on outside the home. Etc. My hubby and I have also adopted using google calendar so our calendar is digital and overlapping for business, his schedule, and mine. Soon we will add one for each kid so we can keep tract of what is happening when. It really helps us keep track of everything because there isn't enough room in my mommy-brain to remember it all - things were slipping through the cracks.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

Honestly? Lower your expectations. I go through phases where I feel like I get obsessed with keeping the house clean, and during these times i find that i am totally distracted from really being with my children because I am always thinking about what I should be doing to clean up instead. Then I give myself a reality check and try to concentrate more on being "in the moment" with them. I want to enjoy each moment and just have time to sit on the floor and watch them play, play with them, and really savor who they are at each stage. And yes, this means that the house does not always get cleaned up during the day, which also means that I am usually cleaning the house at 9 pm! (which is not really a great idea for self-care....)

I think the balanced solution that I have found is to make sure I really really spend the entire morning engaging in quality play with the kids, and NOT thinking about cleaning. Then in the afternoon, they can usually self-entertain for a while and I get some chores done. (mainly sweeping and dishes) Another thing is they like to do some chores with me- we have a kid sized broom and mop. They also like to help me vacuum! I give my 4 year-old the first turn, then it's my turn to go over the spots she missed. She loves it! Oh and for the bathroom, my strategy is to clean while they are in the bath. And of course they are responsible for picking up their toys at the end of the day. Mostly i just prioritize.

The hard part is that you just feel like you're never done! But it helps to keep reminding yourself that your children want YOU and not a perfect house.

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S.D.

answers from Bellingham on

I feel the same way, and usually avoid doing the dishes at all costs until the sink if absolutely full - then it is a real chore, but I KNOW I gotta do them. What I do is set small goals for myself - know what you have to do that day and prioritize. If it is laundry - focus on that. Small steps and daily goals...mine is usually to get the dishes done some time before the day is over so it doesn't overwhelm me. The other that takes precedence is keeping the living room picked up (tidy.) Keep it simple...yes it is easy to get overwhelmed and tired from being a stay at home mom, because if you let it, it can seem like endless housework...but it doesn't have to be. Just remember to keep it simple and Enjoy!

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N.F.

answers from Seattle on

This is the story of my life right now! I'm about to be a SAHM and we are not the neatest people either. I'm starting to get into panic mode because it's a never ending battle. I too have the same aspirations as you. I told my husband that we need to pick a room or two for that day and clean it inside and out because I can't do it by myself right now. My husband is a sweetheart and is on board. Hopefully it'll work, but the project doesn't start for another 3 days because of our schedules... so, until then it will be what gets on my nerves the most that gets cleaned. You've got some great responses so far and I'm interested to see what else moms will post.

Good Luck

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E.M.

answers from Fresno on

I struggle with this too. I work at home, so I also don't have a lot of time for cleaning during the day. When I am successful (and I am often NOT!), it's because I'm keeping up with the messes as they happen, instead of letting them grow into a PROJECT.
Also -- when my kids were smaller and went to bed earlier, I would spend about 1/2 hour straightening up before bed, so I would wake up to order. That helped the next day start off on the right foot.
Here's what I wish I had done when my kids were smaller -- make cleaning something you do together, so it's not just you against everyone else. They won't be that much of a help at first, but it will help establish patterns for them that will benefit everyone when they're older.
Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

I really ADORE FlyLady, maybe it didn't work for you the first go round but my suggestion is to try her again. I love the routines = ) Lots of luck
( embrace not being perfect, it is ok!!!)

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

I think you're being too h*** o* yourself. I'm a stay at home mom too & hire someone a few hours a week to tidy up. We're actually working more than our full-time parntners, you know! It's very hard to keep up. I found someone who charges only $12/hr & is a great worker so it's not that much of a stretch to have her over once a week. If you want her contact info I know she could use some more work & it would take stress off of you too.

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J.C.

answers from Florence on

I would set small goals each day of the week. Like from the most important needs to be done ASAP to it can wait a few days. I am a working mom with two toddlers ages 3 and 1 1/2 and I am pregnant due in July. I am so tired that I really have fallen down on my housework. I have a huge pile of laundry that just never goes down. I try to set small goals for myself. It really helps me. It may drive my husband crazy but I always tell him that he knows how to do this stuff too. LOL Good luck.

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

I know it sounds crazy......but make yourself a chore list. I do it and it makes me accountable. Monday - vacuum house. Tuesday - clean all the bathrooms. Wednesday - mop floors. Etc....It makes it a lot easier for me if I do a little every day instead of leaving all the housework for 1 or 2 days.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Have you read any of Don Aslett's books? He used to have a cleaning business and gives lots of tips to make cleaning as easy and efficient as possible. His ideas save time and make housekeeping more doable for the busy mom.

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