Katy Is Sad.

I think you should talk to her pediatrician to rule out anything medical. I also think Katy would do well to start therapy. Find someone who deals specifically with children (ped should be able to make a recommendation) and make sure she knows that it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

You are lucky that she talks to you about it and isn't keeping her feelings inside. It's a sign that she wants help and wants to feel better.

Also, given the family history, it sounds like there is a good chance that something is medically wrong - perhaps a chemical imbalance that antidepressants could easily resolve.

Good luck!

Based on what you have shared she is NOT bi-polar. There is no period of mania listed. I don't know how spiritual or new age you are or comfortable with... but when i read your post the first thing that jumped out at me was Magenta Child. So I started to do some research on it and although I don't think that she is Magenta (you might be but I don't know your age) I know that she is a very special color child. Her sadness is, according to this school of thought, caused by a reverting in to her own world. Here is the one I am feeling she might be most related to:
The fifth ray we wish to share about is the Golden Archangelic Ray, which births the Golden Children. This ray activates the Christ consciousness in all. These children come from realms beyond all the suns, including the Great Central Sun, and birth through all the suns to Earth. These children are the keepers of Christ consciousness and have a natural ability to emanate Christ consciousness and the three qualities of the Christ, which are unconditional love, forgiveness and transmutation. This ray brings these qualities and activates the Christ consciousness within all beings. As you breathe now, you will receive a pouring forth of this elixir and ray to allow the Christ consciousness within you to open more deeply. As you do this, fill yourself through every chakra and body and send out this elixir to all the Golden Children on the Earth, and those coming to the Earth. These ones sometimes have difficulty when their environment does not support them to be who they are. When these children are in environments holding old energies such as clutter or very old items in the home (pertaining to old memories), and the beings sharing the home have difficulty letting go of the old … they experience the need to break down the environment and often will create breakages and other changes to force the change. Otherwise, they will tend to shut down and withdraw and go into another world and not live in the world and disconnect from their parents. This ray can assist this realignment and if the ray is brought through the house, it can create a new fresh energy. It is very important for these children to have no clutter around them, just as it is very important for all adults to hold their Christ consciousness to have no clutter around them also.

The part I zoned in on was the shut down and withdraw part. I dont know your daughter.. I'm going off of the energy I am getting.
Also, I was much like her... I am extremely intelligent and it gets in the way of me making friends, but I'm darn good at making enemies! Phew! I am sarcastic and have a VERY dry sense of humor... which only people like me seem to get so I can understand the isolation there. I often feel like I'm not living up to my potential and that there is something more out there that i should be doing. Like I'm destined for greatness, but at the current rate I'm going I'll never get there.
Sounds like to me that she know she could be doing more... being challenged and yet she's not...She wants to fit in with her classmates, but yet she doesn't. I get it! Totally. Let her know that she is not alone and that there are others out there. I don't know enough about her to say that this is her for sure, but it sure sounds like she could be one of "us". There is a book call the Indigo Children (which is what I am) by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober. Maybe have her read it.... don't worry... nothing offensive, might be a little bit out there if you are strict Christian. But she might find solace in it for her sad times.

M.,
It breaks my heart to hear this. I am suffering from depression as well. I am so sorry this is starting at such a young age, and runs in your family. It runs in my family too, but I didn't get "hit" with it until a childbirth and surgery set it off a few months ago. I have literally been through hell since then, hospitalized twice, on dozens of meds whose side effects I couldn't tolerate, etc., etc.
Anyway, enough of my story.
I know there are lots of alternative approaches out there, and would encourage you if you get some good leads to try those. But if you need a good psychiatrist, I have recently found one I really like. He is a Christian, and he not only has me on medication, but has also done a lot of research and has me on some very specific vitamin and vitamin derivatives that have been proven to be lacking in people with depression. Some people with depression cannot properly metabolize folic acid and need a broken down version called L-methylfolate. Also, he has has me on fish oil, which has been proven to be an effective mood stabilizer.
I really like this doctor, he just doesn't "throw" stuff as me, he's very thoughtful and thorough in his approach.
So far, so good for me, much better than any doc I have seen so far, in and out of the hospital.
His name is Richard Steip, he is in Torrance, CA, near PCH. He may be worth the drive for not just your daughter, but you and your son as well.
Phone number is ###-###-####.

Check out http://www.cchr.org so you can find out the truth about psychiatry and what effects the medications have on your body.

Sounds like my daughter. We've tried antidepressants, but the first didn't work and the second had side effects. I recommend you start w/ a child psychologist who can help you decide if you need to try a child psychiatrist. The school situation can be a big factor. My daughter has endured so much teasing -- she is smarter than everyone (read Harry Potter in 1 day at age 9), overweight, but also has other disabilities. The school may have a someone who can help set up positive experiences for your daughter as well. E-mail me if you want to talk specifics.

WHEEEE!! Lucky you. Sounds like you've been on a wild ride. Katy's story sounds a whole lot like my own. As a child I experienced OCD as well as clinical depression. I cried every day and always said no one liked me. I counted, always had to be in step with the person walking with me and was absolutely obsessed with the idea that I might have to vomit. Every meal I ate I would fret about whether or not it would make me sick. I would go many days without eating as result of the depression and obsession. I did therapy and didn't really see any success. I think now doctors and the public are much more aware of these mental health issues. As an adult I have to use anti depressants because my depression is so severe but it is totally under control. The best thing you can do for both of your kids is make sure that they know that mental health is just as important as physical health. As an adult knowing that fact has protected me from a lot of mistakes. I'm sure being bi polar yourself you hate to see your kids starting on this path. I wouldn't hesitate to see a psychiatrist about your daughter. Depression is so hard to deal with at that age and your daughter needs to know that being sad is ok even if it's for no reason. That's what depression is. I would be cautious at this age with medication. Much of the time their school productivity is effected by meds and if she's doing well it may be the only thing she feels is going right for her right now.

She is at a time where her hormaones are changing, that rough tough of not being a kid but not being a teenager. Please get her into the Dr. for a complete physical and possible psychological work up. I would venture that the counting could be OCD or perhaps even Aspberger's,given the social issues. My daughter (10) has Tourette's and went through a period of isolation from her friends. It helped her when I talked to the class about her condition and when she met others who had the same disorder. Get all of the facts and then you will be able to better help your Katy. it is also not uncommon for kids to experience depression after a divorce.

Oh I am so sorry about poor Katy. As a sufferer (is that a word?)of depression myself I know how sad and lonely it can be. I would have her evaluated by a child pscychiatrist IMMEDIATELY. That way if she has problems with depression or a disorder such as Bipolar it can be helped right away. The sooner she gets treatment the better and less problems down the road. And if she doesn't have any disorders at least you know. Good luck, I will be sending positive, happy thoughts your way.

It sounds like she is definitely dealing with issues of depression. I know a lot of sinus medications, especially the prescription ones have some sort of ephedra or pseudo-ephedrine in them which can help lift your mood when you are taking them, then cause a crash in mood once you are not taking them. The fact that she was happier, less headach-y when she was taking them sounds like she may have some sort of chemical depression, espeically given your family history. I'd definitely take her to see someone. We have a history of depression and bi-polar in my family as well.
Good luck!
J.

Well i think at ten hormones start. I have a ten year old girl, and she has ups and downs-and i tell her about hormones. I tell her how sometimes you might feel like crying for no reason. But i also explain we need to be able to still treat others respectfully-no matter what our hormones want! Hahaha...easier said then done. But you can't use things as an exuse for behviors. I try to explain that irs normal...but teach her how to cope before trying to give it a name and a medication. Encourage her to journal,or pray, or color, list things she is happy or thankful for. Get her in Girls Scouts or some kinda club...Parks and Rec. I know as a single mom finances can be tight. But there are affordable activities out there that are on the weekend. Even if you just went to the free crafts at Micheals...a chance to interact and play with kids that maybe are not at school. My daughter prefers reading over playing as well. There is nothing abnormal about this. Kids are mean at this age, and it is the WORST in jr high. Be a strong encouraging support system to her now. Build those traits and chracter that well carry her through. If there are specific kids in class that make fun of her-write a note to the teacher -so they will be accountable for thier behavior. I have done that before. The classroom should be a safe place.
I do not know what your beleifs are, but find a good church, allow her to learn how beautifully and perfectly sh is made. There are friends there, there are adults who will love her....get plugged in somewhere. I can find one in your area if you were open to it. Good luck to you-its hard i know. Good for you for caring so much to ask!!

Hello, I am so sorry to hear that Katy is so sad. Is this something new? It could be related to her body starting to change. When she had a sinus infection you took her to the doctor and got it taken care of. We forget that illness is illness whether it is physical or emotional. I would take her to the doctor and have her talk to him/her about this. Maybe there is something they can do for her by medication or therapy. Whatever the outcome, you are doing a great job with your children.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

I've had chronic sinusitis all my life, and I can say it can change your mood. I would definitely take her to a child psychiatrist, particularly since other members of the family have mental health challenges.

But I would also considering having her checked for allergies. And take her to some sort of oriental medicine doctor (often chiropractors or acupuncturists will treat along these lines). Have her checked for candida - which is an overgrowth of yeast in her body. You don't have to have a vaginal yeast infection to have too much yeast in your body. I had this extremely badly when I was in high school and I had headaches daily. Finally an oriental medicine doctor diagnosed it, and I did a cleanse, and my headaches went away and my moods lifted and my allergies diminished significantly.

HTH,
B.

can u get her involved in some exercise type activity? a dance class? an instrument..i find that exercise really helps..i always think of people who are diagnosed w/ cancer or just people struggling hard just to live and it knocks my sadness out..i tell myself i'm lucky to just be alive and have my health...we all won the lottery really when u think about the chances of being born...i know a lot of people need to get on meds but sometimes there are other reasons..like you're saying she has headaches..does she wear any kind of scented perfume? oils? headaches can bring u down..i was wearing a perfume for 2 years and didn't realize that was what was causing these horrid headaches i was having..the doctor said i was depressed and put me on meds..but it was from the perfume...i couldn't handle the meds they were too much for me..and then i went to NYC and forgot my perfume..headaches disappeared and i realize that was the problem.
Also exercise really helps..i would get her involved in tennis or a sport..have her take walks with you...when i run i lose the blues completely..if i walk i lose about 1/2.

good luck hope u guys can find the brighter sides of things

xo

D.

Homeopathy approach considers every physical ailment (sinus problems in your case) as outward expression of the underlying issue (emotions). If we treat only physical part (sinus meds) you put a heavy weight on what is not addressed, thus physical improvement comes at a cost of mood and emotions. Like a see-saw. A lot of people later diagnosed with mental /emotional disorders had eczema, lungs or some other physical problem “cured” (swept under the rug) by conventional meds. I would heartily recommend homeopathic treatment, especially considering your family history of involvement with conventional medicine.
Good Luck
V.

Hey Katy,
You may want to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist just to rule out any potential issues. If it's caught early enough, she can get the help she needs to lead a typical 10 year old life.

I wonder if she has OCD? That often involves counting. YOu should take her to see your family doctor and ask for a referral to a cognitive behavioral therapist who can diagnose her.

Dear M.,

If the headaches are back..I'd say some physical problem (like a low grade drug resistant sinus infection) is back. My first suggestion is to try a sinus wash/spray. Saline or maybe something called Xlear (xylitol based...so bacteria do not stick inside sinuses).
Or go get a culture and find out if it is bacteria at all. Maybe it's not. Strange microbes can take hold and get overgrown anywhere in the body.
I'd also wonder if there is some new change in environment/diet. Remember that food companies "improve" formulations for their products, so there may be unwanted changes happening you don't know about if your daughter eats processed foods. There are other daily chemical assaults as well, from beauty care products, paints, carpet, clothing, detergent etc.
But I still lean toward the sinus/nfection issue. Unless the tiredness and sadness can be completely separate from the headaches, they are the #1 clue.

see a doctor for sure. sounds like she might be bipolar too.

I am so sorry to hear about Katy. My first recommendation is to take her to a psychiatrist. I am not a proponent of meds, but there are times when they are necessary. You want to rule that out first, or offer her that option if she needs it.

Past that, know that we are all different and it is our differences that make us who we are. There is nothing wrong with preferring to read rather than playing. Katy sounds like a really special kid. As her mom, you just need to help her know that. You can help her come to appreciate her uniqueness. She sounds like the kind of kid who someday will take the world by storm. That's a good thing.

(You also might consider renting movies that tell the story of unique kids. Little Man Tate comes to mind, but there are others. It might help Katy to see that she is not alone.)

Be well,
G. B., M.A.
Child Development Specialist & Parent Educator
www.GilaBrown.com

Ahhhh . . . first, I just LOVE that Katy can tell you what's going on with her, that she feels safe enough to share her concerns and upsets with you. Congratulations! You are doing a wonderful job!

Next . . . I know this may be challenging but it would be very good if you could find (or create?!) some opportunities for Katy to connect with other bright children. One possibility is Mensa. Let me know where you are and I'll give you some contact information. She wouldn't have to _join_ Mensa but could attend some activities for bright children.

Another possibility would be activities or classes at museums, science museums or other places offering challenging opportunities for smart children.

I hope you're able to offset the "weird" feedback she's getting from other kids. I hope you (and other significant people) can give her feedback that her extra abilities do not make her weird, just different. The headaches may be caused (in part?) by stress from coping w/being rejected by the other kids.

About the counting . . . I used to count steps.
On my way to and from school and other places,
I would count all my steps.
After I was an adult, I figured out that this was a way
of turning my mind off . . . . so that I wouldn't be stressing over my problems.
At the time, of course, I didn't know this.
I, however, never told anyone I was counting steps.
It sounds like Katy may have told some kids about that.

I hope you're able to get some assistance and/or counseling soon . . . for all of you. As I'm sure you know, she's right on the edge of the most difficult/challenging time, puberty. It would be good if she has a more sturdy structure and self-image as she goes into this period of her life.

Good luck!

S.