Just Curious - over 35 & Pregnant

Updated on October 21, 2011
K.M. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
25 answers

I'm curious to know how many of you were over 35 when you got pregnant for the first time and how long did it take you to conceive?

EDIT: I'm asking for a friend who started trying about 7 months ago. The OTC ovulation predictors are not showing her as ovulating. She asked her doctor and the doctor won't even consider testing till she's tried for a year. I understand that to some degree but the girl is 36 not 26. Just doing the math and she could be 40+ working on her second child. What if she and her husband want more than 2? 6 months can be a big deal. Why not just test her?

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So What Happened?

She didn't get tested yet but she took a pregnancy test yesterday and it's POSITIVE!!!!! I'm crossing my fingers and toes that all goes well and she has a successful pregnancy! :)

Featured Answers



answers from Atlanta on

I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. I was 35 when I conceived the first. It took me a month both times! My doctor told me when I said I was going to start trying that at age 35 and beyond they only waited 6 months to start doing tests if you weren't conceiving, but the norm before 35 is a year. She could try another doctor.



answers from Dallas on

Pregnant at 38, gave birth at 39. Took about 1.5 years to get there but we were living in different cities - one we saw each other every weekend, it took about 4 months. Now 43, haven't gotten pregnant since then and not using protection. Oh well.



answers from Denver on

I was 36 and 38 and got pregant quite easily. My friend was in her 20s and needed some assistance for both babies.... It really just depends on the person - not an age thing necessarily. If she is concerned, I would go to a different dr. - maybe try a fertility specialist. Best of luck to her.

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answers from Dallas on

It took 7+ years for me to get pregnant. I had our first at 35 and our twins when I was almost 38. I went to 4 Ob drs., 3 of whom "specialized" in infertility. All of them ran tests. None of them figured out what my problem was. I finally went to a reproductive endocrinologist and because I was 34, he told me that he was going to be very aggressive in finding the answers. I had several issues. Six months later, I was pregnant with our son. Because of her age, your friend needs to find a reproductive endocrinologist ASAP.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Please tell her to find another Dr ASAP. Standard of care is to begin infertility workup on any woman 35 or older who has been trying to conceive for 6 months or more and has not conceived. Don't wait. She's likely now ovulating and they need to find out why. Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

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answers from Memphis on

I was 36 (37 at delivery) the 1st time and it took 4 months of actual trying, 6 months if you count when we stopped preventing but we didn't make any effort to get the timing right those 2 months. 2nd I was 38. It took 7 months total but 4 of those month I was still breastfeeding and my period was still regulating itself. Unfortunately, I lost that one but got pregnant again with my daughter after the next month. I was 38 almost 39. We started trying again when I was 40, it took 4 months to get pregnant but I lost that one as well. After that miscarriage, my progesterone got screwed up. We tried for about 6 months before I got it checked. I was given clomid & got pregnant on the 3rd cycle. I just turned 42 and am 36 weeks pregnant.

What I have always been told is that it can take up to a year at any age and not really be a problem but if you are over 35, they begin testing after 6 months because it is more likely there is a problem needing treatment and that give them more time to try work on it. I have also heard that if you are over 40 to get checked out after 3 months of trying.

I think your friend should find a new doctor.



answers from Washington DC on

I had my daughter when I was 37 after several years of trying but no special measures. One thing your friend could ask for -- if she has a gynecologist who will gof for it -- is a test that has nothing to do with pregnancy. I don't remember its name but the vital part is that they shoot dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes. My gyn had it done on me and said (off the record of course....) that sometimes women have tiny blockages in the tubes and this test can have the side effect of washing those blockages out and enabling them to get pregnant. Bear in mind this is definitely not a magic bullet or solution to all problems. But I had it in May and was pregnant in June so I think that the tiny, normal blockages were my problem, possibly. Of course your friend should follow her doc's advice, and it's not at all unusual for doctors to insist that women wait at least a year before getting into testing, considering other measures, etc. -- but I'm a bit surprised he won't just do an ovulation test. That's not like he's sending her straight to the in vitro clinic!


answers from New York on

My doctor said under 35- try for one year before testing, over 35 try for six months before testing, why waste time when they may need to know what they are dealing with. I'm so glad we got tested right away, turned out our best option was adoption and that took years so we ended up with a baby when I was 43



answers from Houston on

I just had my second baby at 37, but there is a 10 year gap between kids so it really was like starting all over. Fortunately for me this one was a surprise so we weren't really trying. I would advise her to find a different doctor or go see a fertility specialist herself. Although insurance may not cover it so make sure she does her research and asks lots of questions before the visit, it may be worth paying out of pocket for a consult and testing! My boss got pregnant last year at 38 with invitro, 1 time and had a health baby girl.

Good luck to your friend!



answers from San Antonio on

I was 36 for my first. We had been trying for almost 10 years. Did the Clomid, and testing, eventually had to do in-vitro. Worked for us twice, and we are blessed with two amazing medical miracles.



answers from Los Angeles on

I was pregnant at 35 and 37. First time it took two months because I didn't even bother to check my ovulation cycle. That is, I didn't even know when in my monthly cycle I would be ovulation. The next month, I googled to get the general days and focus on 'trying' for that one week and that was it. At 37, It just took the one week of trying. So, yes both our kids were born on the exact month we want their birth day to be on. It's not an age thing, it's health and genetics thing.



answers from Los Angeles on

At 40 had my son.
Tried on our own for about 6-9 months.
Went to fertitlity specialist.
Was on Chlomid for a few months.
Was about to start shots & was told I would only had a 5% chance of
We gave up, looked into adoption and voila! ____@____.com thing I think is that we were "trying at the wrong time" each month
to conceive. And that is vital.



answers from Fresno on

I got pregnant the first time at 36 and we used inter uterine insemination and the got pregnant when my first son was 11 months old at 38 and I was not trying to get pregnant . I am 41 and have 2,boys



answers from Austin on

I was 37 when I had my first pregnancy and it took 2 years of "trying."



answers from San Francisco on

Had my first at 35, my second at 39 and am due with my third in one week at age 42. I got pregnant very easily. Didn't have to have any fertility but did have two miscarriages before this current pregnancy.
Yes, I'm surprised the doctor isn't doing any testing considering the ovulation tests show she isn't ovulating.


answers from Lakeland on

I was 35 when my daughter was conceived. We were not trying.



answers from Minneapolis on

I stopped taking the pill at 38, got pregnant the first month. Miscarried early. Got pregnant again in 3 months. Miscarried early again. Got pregnant again within 5 months. Beautiful daughter born 4 days before my 41st birthday. I didn't use any predictors or anything. We just had sex every day and twice a day on weekends!! He still has fond memories of the "trying" stage!

Since your friend has evidence that something may be wrong, I would advise her to get a second opinion. I had a friend who found out she was well on her way to menopause at 36. They now have a daughter after IVF.


answers from Norfolk on

We started trying when I was 32.
4 years later (I was 36) with the help of a fertility specialist (IVF with ICSI) we had our son.



answers from New York on

I was 40 and unbelievably lucky - it happened after two months. Tried again at 43 - forget it! :(



answers from Fort Wayne on

we were both 33 when I got preggers and 34 for birth we have been trying for over a year now for #2. we are both 36 and I am starting to wonder if #2 will ever happen. But the brightside is our dd is a BLAST! I think if she was a little bugger we probably wouldnt want to have another, lol.



answers from Honolulu on


I have 2 kids.
But also had a 3rd pregnancy, which ended up in a miscarriage.
Got pregnant naturally each time. Thankfully.
It took us, within or less than 6 months, each time, to conceive.


answers from St. Louis on

My brother and his wife were 35 when they got pregnant. They tried for a couple years. He was a one and only, after that they tried and tried, lord I am sure my brother hated all the trying. :p



answers from Pittsburgh on

I was 40. I was pregnant less than two weeks after deciding to try. I really felt like I had gotten my money's worth paying for the pill for 20 years.


answers from Los Angeles on

I was 36 when I gave birth to our daughter. I'd had a miscarriage two years before and it took me two more years to conceive, after finally buying an ovulation predictor (not the single use kind).



answers from Tampa on

I was 37 with my first and only pregnancy. We didn't know what to expect in terms of how long it will take so we discussed starting to "try" about 3 months before we actually wanted it to happen. We got lucky and got pregnant right away, probably the very first time that we didn't use protection. I think it's very hard to predict until you try. If you have regular periods it is probably easier than if you don't. Other than that, it's a craps shoot (so to speak:) Good luck!

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