Judging Too Hard on Daycare?

Updated on September 10, 2010
W.M. asks from Santa Monica, CA
28 answers

I visited my baby at daycare today and noticed one of the infants was asleep in a bouncy chair in a playpen with a blanket completely covering him (or her). This was a thicker knitted blanket. I couldn't even tell he was in there except for his little feet sticking out. I have previously had to ask them not to let my baby sleep with a blanket over his head and stuffed animal by his face because I felt it was unsafe. I also asked them not to put my baby on his tummy for naps but they've told me that he rolls over regardless. Somehow I thought this was all common knowledge/sense. Especially for a daycare.

Do you think that I'm being too critical of the daycare for covering the babies up like that? I feel strongly that it's not safe but I understand that some babies sleep better if its dark and perhaps the sound is muffled a bit. However, if I was that baby's mom, I would be absolutely horrified. I'm kind of afraid to say anything because I don't want them to hate me and treat my baby accordingly.

What can I do next?

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

No I don't think you are at ALL! Is there anyway for you to find another daycare..sounds like they are running behind the times when it comes to safety.

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds like you need to get a new daycare place asap Mom. I agree with you and would not want my baby covered w/ a blanket in a playpen when he/she was being cared for. As far as sleeping on tummy, a good provider should have the wedges that you can put on the side of baby so they dont roll when sleeping. Hope this helps.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

The blanket on top of the head could most definitely be fatal. I would make a big stink about that. The rolling babies... it happens, though I do think they should at least attempt to put the babies on their backs again.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If your son can roll over then he is safe to be on his tummy. Our daughter lifted and turned her head at birth. She just always slept on her tummy best. Because she could lift her head, there were times, I just had to let her sleep that way. even at only a few weeks..

Some infants really do sleep better with a blanket over their faces.. It may seem super strange to you, but in reality it is not that unusual.. Have you never seen people place a blanket over an infant carrier, when their child was out in public?

Instead of being "Horrified" how about being quizzical? "Wow, I have never seen a baby sleep with a blanket over its head.. Did the parents request that?"

I know it is hard to have a child in child care. We moms are used to doing things our way. It is good to be aware of what is going on. and to follow your gut, but also be careful not to jump to conclusions..

I am sending you strength. If you see things you would prefer your child not have done to them, do mention it, but first always ask why, they do things a certain way.. There are many ways to care for children..

9 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I will say that once my babies are strong enough to flip onto their bellies I let them sleep there. Also, one of my sons always...to this day, and he is 5, has liked to sleep with a blanket over his head. Again, he didn't even have blankets in his bed until he was old enough to turn over. But, by then their heads are strong enough
I would have moved the blanket though! So, make sure they are not putting your son to bed with a blanket or stuffed animals, and then remember that if he can turn over on his own he will be fine on his belly.
L.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I think you should stick to your concerns about your own child.
Once he's rolling over by himself, there really isn't as much need to try to roll him back over every few minutes. The blanket or animal by his face shouldn't be allowed since you don't like it, but I wouldn't worry too much about him rolling over.
I understand your concern for the other child, but I did daycare for years and had one baby that would only sleep in his carseat with a light blanket over him. His mom knew that, which is why she left the car seat in the first place.
If you had said something to me, I wouldn't have been mad or "hated" you, but what might have seemed like going against "common knowledge" in your opinion, was not what a certain baby felt to be comfortable. He was loved, fed, rocked, played with and when it was time for rest, he liked his carseat. With a blanket over him. If the mom knew that and that was our agreed upon routine, there would have been no need for you to
be "horrified" by it.
A daycare provider shouldn't be mad at you for mentioning things as long as you're not overstepping your bounds. You know what's best for your own baby and other moms know what's best for theirs.

Just don't make assumptions, especially if you don't have any grounds to believe that children are being mistreated.

Just my opinion.

6 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Denver on

You would have been "horrified" at the way I let my DS sleep. From Day One he was a tummy sleeper. And when we were out and about he would curl up on his side in the carseat with a blanket over his head. (not in the car, but out in the stroller). It's what worked for him, so more power to him. He probably got it from me, since I sleep with a pillow over my head; I can't fall asleep any other way. Some kids need to have noise/light muffled to sleep better....especially in a busy daycare environment.

All of us are different. Try not to judge.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

I don't think you are judging at all, u are only putting yourself in that mom's shoes. I think could let them know you saw that, I mean it is dangerous regardless, so I would let them know, maybe talk to the owner or the person in charge?. Also the same way you give specific instruction at daycare maybe the mom did too. What I mean to say is my baby wouldnt fall asleep unless he had a light blanket covering his eyes. I of course covered his eyes from the nose up, making sure that both his nose and mouth were uncovered. Think about it. I think that since it is a safety concern you should tell them about it. I dont think they'll hate you.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Well, I agree with the other posters that you really should direct your concerns mostly towards your kid, unless something dire is going on. How old was this infant in the bouncy seat? As long as the child was over 6 months or so, I don't think that there's really any cause for concern. And they're probably right about your son flipping onto his belly - they're not going to spend every few minutes flipping him back, not only because they don't have the time, but because it's safe.

If these are the only things that are troubling you about your daycare providers, and otherwise your son seems to be happy and healthy and thriving, I'd let it go. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Every child and every family is different.
That child might only be able to fall asleep like that. If I were you, I'd worry about my own kid and not everyone else's.
As for tummy sleeping - my children came home from the hospital and went right into full sized cribs on their tummies. Am I a bad mother? I don't think so, but you might think differently.
We do what is best for our own children.
LBC

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

Neither of these sound like anything to be concerned about.

Most babies sleep on their tummies, it's natural. To me it's common knowledge that babies roll over and sleep which ever way they are comfortable. Or are you going by what the experts are currently claiming is the best sleep position. It changes so frequently, I can't keep up.

Personally I wouldn't cover a babies head, but I don't see it as a major issue. Is it possible that the mother of the baby requested that?

I don't think there's anything to be concerned about unless you've seen something that is clearly illegal or a caregiver doing something against the daycare's policies.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Portland on

If you are not comfortable with your daycare, if it causes more worry than peace, then it is not the right daycare for you. You should be comfortable and know your child is safe when you are at work.

1 mom found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

If they do 'hate' you for voicing concerns about your (and others) childs safety (or at the very least humor you), might be time to start looking for a new daycare. It's very very difficult to leave a baby with 'strangers' and work all day, they, of ALL people should understand that! Stick to your gut. I'm sorry you have to have yucky feelings like your baby is not being properly taken care of, ickiest possible feeling.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Denver on

First of all any good day care place would not take anything out on your baby. Second I would reserve my worries to my child, unless it was something really unsafe. Some kids do better coved up like that. My daughter always slept in her carseat and if we were out there was a heavy blanket over the handle not to mention you would of been horrified by how my daughter slept in her bed. With tummy sleeping, if a little one is rolling over by themselves, they are going to sleep how they are comfy and by the time most babies are rolling they are getting old enough that its really not that big of a concern. As for wedges last time I hear they are now not recommended. ( rules change so often its amazing any of us lived) They may try to flip your kido over, but wont if its going to wake them. A good provider is going to find out what makes keeps the kids happy and content and still keep them safe. At daycare there isn't a one on one ratio, so they do the best they can. If it helps talk to the provider about you concern for your child, but like other moms have said I would leave it at that. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You must live somewhere warm. Here in Alaska it gets very cold, so when you take a baby outside or in the car it is normal place to cover the entire baby with a blanket, no deaths yet that I am aware of. These babies are being closely watched, and I do not think that blanket posed any threat. I would not worry about the tummy thing either, they go back and forth on which way babies should sleep every couple of years anyhow, and if the baby is old enough to roll over the threat is reduced any way, the issue is when they are brand new and can not turn their heads to get air should they end up face down. If you do not like the day care, find a new one. I would say something about the stuffed animals, that can be unsafe.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

Listen hard to your instincts. If you have any concern about the care of your child, change the situation right away. Do not worry if you are overreacting or any other feeling like that. Its your baby..better safe than sorry. Even if its a huge huge task to change centers. Listen to your mama instinct and make happen what needs to happen.

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

I have an in home daycare and it is against the law for a licensed daycare to put babies to bed in a swing or car seat or chair. We must put them to sleep on their back in a crib. I also agree that keeping a blanket on their face would scare me. Pediatricians recommend no blankets (except maybe a light one) for one year. Most people also don't realize that it is recommended not to have a bumper in the crib. I don't think that the blanket is a code issue but you need to stand up for your baby for sure. As for rolling over, my pediatrician and parent magazines agree that if you lay them on their back and they roll over just to leave them. It is agreed that if they can roll over then they are ok to do so but you need to start them on their back first.

N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I realize different states have different rules and regulations. But I would check into this...I am in MN and anyone can look at alot of the info online...but you can also request the info of the director. Do their workers have to be SIDS and Shaken Baby certified. SIDS recommendations are that there be nothing in the cribs with a child until 1 year old..NOTHING. I am a home childcare provider..and it seems a bit rediculous to me to not have a light blanket, but these are the way the rules for us here in MN have changed. We are also not allowed to have infants sleep in seats and swings. If they move to their tummies on their own, we leave them. But they start on their backs always.

To cover a child up for a nap like that is not ok.... (someone mentions seeing people cover an infants car set when out and about...sure people do that or use those zip cover things for car seats, but the intentions are for them to be in these for a few minutes (going in and out of the weather to the car and back to indoors)...not for a hour+ long nap with no circulating air and with them re-breathing the same air. Remember how delicate and immature an infants systems are.....

If it were me I might say...I noticed the other day an infant was not only covered up but in a seat asleep and I am requesting that my child not be put to bed under those conditions. Its not unreasonable to ask that your child not be put in what you consider an unsafe situation . And for those who say this mom would be "horrified" at how you had your children sleep, etc...please keep in mind that your care and situations at home, with your own ONE infant is very different than a daycare or center care situations where there is one adult caring for several children in a group setting using equipment they may not have chosen, nor do they have the same genuine love and instinct involved that you have for your own children. While I deeply care for and love my home daycare children I care for...I am not the Mommy to them..it IS different!

Those would be the RULES here in MN, as per SIDS training. If they make a mighty stink about it or you notice different treatment soon after..then it is time to find a different daycare more in line with your safety reasoning.

JMO....good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I don't mean to scare you, but a friend of a friend's baby died in daycare because they had put her on a pillow to sleep (at 8 or 12 weeks old). So, it's important to trust your gut on these things--also, how would they feel having to call a parent and give them that kind of news? It's in their best interest to be informed of these things.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Aside from the tummy-rolling (some babies just do this), I think you have very reasonable cause for concern. I would ask, as one poster suggested, what the minimum training requirements are for the infant/toddler teachers at your child's facility. That a child was put to sleep with a heavy blanket over their face is troubling to me. Another life ago, I worked for nearly four years at two different daycares and can say from experience that there is often an alarming lack of training...I started my first job w/out my references even being checked AND with no prior experience other than a bit of babysitting, and I believe this sort of desperate hiring still exists in a lot of places.

Certainly, bring it up to the director and explain your concerns. If you don't feel you have support (the situation isn't corrected and adequate training isn't provided/required to the employees) from the director, look elsewhere for care. Often, directors are hired for their business background and not necessarily well-versed in the actual ins and outs of childcare itself. (I once worked for a director who refused to make the infant staff stop re-freezing and reheating breastmilk, which is very bad. This resulted in the family hiring me away as their nanny.) I have watched very nice, very well-meaning directors run good programs into the ground in an amazingly short amount of time due to poor decision-making skills and appalling prioritization of employees over the children's health and welfare.

One last thing to add--to those parents who would tell you to be concerned with only your child's welfare, I'll just say this---what if it was YOUR child who was being put at risk for SIDS? Would you want the other daycare parents to play blind when they saw them being potentially suffocated with a thick blanket on them? Children do fall asleep in bouncy seats sometimes, but to have a heavy blanket *on their face* is beyond the pale. If the child was in the playpen, a larger, lighter-weight blanket could have been draped on the frame of the playpen and secured with clothespins to dim the light. A quality care center should have a designated place for babies to sleep where it isn't too bright anyway.

Follow your instincts-- you have them for a reason!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You are not judging to hard. Your baby is your #1 priority to keep safe at all times. I would switch daycares. First, the bouncy chair shouldn't be in the play pen- second, the baby shouldn't be covered like that, third there shouldn't be any stuffed animals near baby-they are suffocation hazzards!

Don't worry about them hating you, get yourself a new daycare today! I wouldn't feel safe with my child there. Take care and hope this helps.

M

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

I would say something to the director. If you arent comfortable, you should find a new childcare setting for your baby. Personally, I wouldnt be comfortable either.

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K.C.

answers from Medford on

If you have asked them to honor your request and they haven't, I would absolutely switch to a different day care. This is your baby's life you are talking about, don't take any chances. You have every right to comment on safety procedures and be concerned. If they are unresponsive, I wouldn't trust them with my child.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

I don't think you are judging them too hard at all. Follow your instincts! Covering babies up is not okay, and babies have died of SIDS while napping at daycares. If it were me I would start looking elsewhere and find a way to diplomatically voice your concerns to the caregivers and the other parents so they know too. I think you should definitely contact the licensor or the state and make a report so they can investigate. If you take your baby out then it won't matter if there are repurcussions for you and yhour baby. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I would kindly take up your concerns with the director. I worked at a daycare and sometimes the main infant workers know what is currently "safe" but there are other workers who come in to give breaks who may not know. It may just be that there needs to be more rigorous safety training for all people who work or have the possibility to work in the infant room. However; if nothing is done as follow-up I would look for a different day care. You don't want your child's safety to be compromised in any way.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

About the blanket on the babies head. I really don't think they would hate you over this, but wouldn't you hate yourself if a baby died because of this and you didn't say anything to bring it to someones attention? I don't think this is being petty at all. I do have to say though, I think if the blanket is knitted and has holes in it, then that might be fine, but why take a chance?!

And about the tummy sleep...some babies just sleep on their tummies. My second baby is like that and at first it scared me so bad, but that's just how he sleeps. I can hardly get him to stay on his back when I'm changing his diaper, he just wants to go right to his tummy!

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

I would be very alarmed & remove him from this place. They do not seem compitent or like they even care very much. I know Apple Blossom just opened a nursery school. They are very small & attentive. Worth a try.

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