Job Offer! Yipee! Oh No! What to Do?

Updated on July 27, 2011
E.T. asks from Albuquerque, NM
18 answers

I left a job I'd been at in May (they were consolidating and I would have had to move across country). Since then I've been home with my four year old twins. I have been talking with a great company about a full time job, but it didn't seem like they had anything available. So I made my peace with being a SAHM for a year until my kids go to kindergarten. I figured I'd look for something after that. And I've been having a lot of fun being at home with my kids. It's so much less stressful than working full time and trying to find creative ways to deal with my husband's crazy schedule (some days he has meetings early so I had to take the morning off to drive our girls to school - it was a huge pain in my old job).

Today I got an unexpected job offer from the great company. It's a good salary (less than I made before but more than I expected). It's full time. I can work from home like I did in my previous job. Very little travel. The field I want to be in. Sounds perfect, right? Now I'm not so sure. They want me to start in two weeks... which means I'd have to cancel my neice's annual trip out to visit us because it's the first week I'd be working. She's 14, shy, and lonely. She doesn't get along well with her parents, so she looks forward to this trip all year. I would hate to disappoint her. Plus, I'd have to cancel a trip to visit my mom - which would just about break her heart because she's been waiting all summer to see her grandkids. And, I'd have to cancel a family vacation. All told, thousands of dollars in travel. And a lot of stuff I don't want to miss. And I don't have anyone to watch my kids for the three weeks until school starts again.

And, and, and... I seem to have a million reasons why this job is not a good one. But it is. If they'd only asked me to start in October, I'd be thrilled. I haven't accepted the job, so I may call tomorrow and say that I'd love to do it but can't start until October 1st. I think there's a 50% chance they'll say it's 8/8 or never. Ack. My stomach is in knots.

I know that none of you have the magic answer, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you'd do in this situation.

Edited to add: sorry if I wasn't clear... I did not apply for this job. It's a company I've done business with in the past (I was their client). I let them know I might be available and they let me know they might have a job. That was back in early June, and I didn't hear anything after that, except that they were "trying" to get a new position created for me.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thanks all. Every single one of you said take the job, which is what I knew deep down I needed and wanted to do... But the offer was so unexpected. I think I was in a bit of shock. Anyway, I accepted the offer this morning. I did negotiate my start date to three week later so I can host my neice and get my kids in school. And I will work from my mom's house when we go visit. I'll miss out on some of the daytime activities, but that's ok.

Thanks again...

Featured Answers


answers from Norfolk on

Considering how hard jobs are to find right now, I wouldn't pass this up.
My Mom would be like "Go! Make the money!".
Maybe the niece can visit for Thanksgiving
Grandma can visit you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

I would explain to them that since you were out of work you have made
plans. Explain that you would lose a lot of money if you did not go through
with these plans. Maybe you can start and then take the weeks off without
pay. If they want you bad enough they will agree. As far as the kids go,
I bet you could find a high school student to babysit. If not how about some
friends pitching in? If you want it bad enough, you will make it work. Good

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from San Diego on

Can you negotiate the joining date with them? Maybe push it a little bit (2 weeks?) so that you can get a few things if not all done? Or you can join and tell them upfront (before accepting the offer of course) that you would need say a week or two off in the next couple of months. Most employers are ok with it if you let them know beforehand. But you might not be able to do everything you had planned. You can pick your priorities and decide what is most imp and get that done. If it is a job you really like, don't let it go. Try to work around it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I understand everything you said! I get it! BUT (and this is a big but) I would be highly upset with you if I was trying to create a position for you, finally did it, and then you turned it down or wanted to negotiate a start date so that you could take vacations (and you know this, hence your "and, and, and... LOL!)

It's rough, there are things you want to finish out this summer, TAKE THIS JOB!!!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

From your post it appears that you really do not want to go back to work. Why did you apply for the position in the first place? If this is the case, and you can afford to stay home indefinitely, then just refuse the offer or take your chances with the October date.

When you filled out the application/resume what did you indicate for your availibility? If you said you were available on 8/8, then you should NOT try to change it. Depending on the situation of when you told/implied you would be available, I would think that the chance of them saying 8/8 or never is much closer to 90%.

You can, however, tell the company that you have already made plans for a specific time (no longer than 2 weeks) and it would be very difficult for you to change them at this time, requesting that they work around that schedule.

Our economy doesn't look like it's going to be getting much better anytime soon. I would take the job now.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Why October? maybe a compromise (you remember - moms make a lot of compromises?) start late August, a day after your twins start school.
If this is as good a job as it sounds rearrange your schedule, visit your mom have your niece visit and try to negotiate a FEW more weeks, not two months.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

As others have said, I would strongly urge you to take the job. You can always negotiate the start date. They may or may not move, but done in a business-like manner, attempting to negotiate is just fine. I don't believe they will wait until Oct, but maybe you can get a couple extra weeks to take care of family needs as well as possible.

I've worked for an Outplacement company for the past three years, coaching people who were laid off to find a new job. It has completely biased me towards saying "Take the job!" after watching many job seekers work really diligently for months and sometimes up to two years to find a job at all, much less one that sounds as good a fit for you as this one.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Biloxi on

Negotiate your start date !!!!

If they want you enough to solicit you, then they may be willing to delay your start date. Or offer a compromise of reduced hours to start, leading to full hours in a few months. Especially if they are creating a position for you - means the start date should be flexible.

It sounds like a great job.

Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

They will not wait until October.
Unless they really want you.
But, they have company needs. It is a business.
Giving 2 weeks notice, to start the job, is typical.
Employers, assume you are ready.
After all, you applied for the job.

They don't go around, peoples social calendars.
Unless, this one will and is super patient.

They need the job position, filled.
It was previously, unfilled.
It takes a lot of work, for an Employer to scan applicants and interview them and decide on who to hire.
And they have time-lines, too.

It will not sound good, if you tell them you want to start in October....

I used to work in HR.... if that were me, and you telling me that, it would be... irksome.
I mean, the Employer wants to hire you, you are telling them to wait. 2 months. More.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tucson on

Are you crazy?! This is a tough job market and receiving a job offer from a company that you like and wants you to join their team is heaven sent!

Change your plans and visit mom sooner. Ask your niece to join you; the more the merrier. You can ask your potential new employer if you can start a week later, but this is not a deal breaker.

This sounds like a great job that will allow you to work for from home, and having two young kids will help you immensely (no commute to work, be able to be there for them quickly in the event of an emergency or some school function.)

Everyone has commitments, especially to family, but they will understand what is at stake here. Don't blow this opportunity. I would love to find a job I can manage from home.

Now get on the phone and see if you can start a week later or change your travel schedule. Good luck.



answers from Cleveland on

If you really want the job & feel it's something that would be a good fit, see if they can hold off on the start date till after the kids start school - just explain all the plans you have and see, but if they will not give in, you will have to choose plans or job.

I have been unemployed for 2 yrs now... I have been going to school & applying and no real bits have come my way. My reality is that my unemployment runs out in November and after that if I don't have a job my family doesn't have an income since I am the "bread winner". Don't get me wrong I love being a SAHM, but as life goes... if I don't have any money you can't pay bills, so won't have a home and I have a chance of loosing my kids... sorry, but right now I would give the world to be worried about your "ands" and not mine what ifs.

Good luck with your choose & sorry you are having such a hard time with your choose.



answers from Pocatello on

Negotiate a starting date, say that you have made previous commitments that you can not back out of but DO NOT be specific. If they will not work with you on the start date then they may not be a good comapny to workl for anyway. Good luck!



answers from Phoenix on

I actually had a similar situation recently. I was actively applying for jobs, which I know you weren't, but I was expecting the application process to take longer than it did. I had booked a trip for 11 days to visit my parents in August. I let them know that in my second interview. I also told them that if the trip was a deal-breaker, I would cancel it. I explained that I would like to take the trip, as my 2 sisters had not met my youngest son and I was $800 in for plane tickets, but if they needed me to start I would be there the next day. I would have been very disappointed to cancel the trip, and my family would have been crushed. But we all realized that $800 and ten days worth of visit wasn't worth a job that was a good fit. Be open and honest with them about what you would like to do, and see what you can work out. I am taking my vacation, just without pay, which is fine by me.


answers from Washington DC on

I think you should take the job!!! The benefits outweigh the can work from home...

I think your sister/brother and niece will understand...maybe she can still come - no, you won't get the one on one time with her you were hoping for - but as long as everyone knows in advance so what?!?!?!



answers from San Francisco on

I'd take it! Try negotiating your start date, but really, it's better in the long run to take it. I'd look into what getting a nanny would cost. With twins it may be less than daycare x2 and you won't have to worry about getting them there, or picking them up by 6 pm sharp.



answers from Lexington on

Yes, tell them that you have these things already planned and paid for and would love to work with them on fitting everything in. You may be able to work from home while your niece is in town and still have time with her.
It's not uncommon for things to already be planned that can't be changed. if they want you, they will work with you.



answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you need to say that you can start on the day after school starts. Not sure if that's October...but you can do the niece, the grandma, the family vaca & watch your kids til school starts which sounds like your main list....if you could make it Sept 1, that would only be like pushing it back 3 weeks....



answers from Phoenix on

In today's job market, I think you would be crazy to pass up this opportunity. You may ask if you can start a week later so that your niece can still visit and then maybe you could fly your mother out to visit, rather than go visit her. You should do what you can to make this work because my guess is that you will deeply regret it if you don't. I have a couple friends who have been struggling to find work for a couple years now. It is really rough out there.

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