Job Hunt Sharing of Info

Updated on July 04, 2013
R.X. asks from Fayetteville, AR
12 answers

A colleague and I are both seeking to find new jobs in our professional arena (same arena). She called to say that she was lost and did not know which building she needed... Otherwise I would have never known.

Of course, no more conversation about my job hunting until I land a new position!

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I think that I getting over it now. No, I probably would not like the job in the long run, you are right Gamma G. It is not my niche.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

If the job was truly one that is better suited for her she might be the right one for that job. You might have gotten it but been totally miserable within a few months. Try to find the positive in it. If she finds a job quickly she will be off the market too.

7 moms found this helpful

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answers from Miami on

Me and my friend were looking for work in the same area as well. I would not tell her where I went but we would take resume classes and job fairs etc together to help us find jobs. Yeah its to important to get that job though. I would have told her about a job she was more suited for though. What they said though is true if she was more suited and you would not really like it in the end let it go. Lesson Learned.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Fargo on

Well, after finding out that you creeped back 3 years on my posts just to leave a petty comment that I'm a bad friend for not buying my friend's daughter the countless items that she demanded, I think you could use some of your own advice.

Be gracious. It was her right to apply for the job. If they choose her over you, it's because she is better suited, as you said yourself. Don't hold offense over a job you don't even want.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i can understand why you're taken aback, but glad to see in your SWH that you're getting over it. i'm sure she just thought that because you've been sharing resources thus far, that it was fine for her to proceed. and if it's really better suited for her, try to be happy for her!
i hope that your (better suited for you) position is right around the corner.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I think you two are somewhere between being friends/networking buddies and being competitors. You want to help her (so you share a lot of info including the questions you were asked) and, if I understand you correctly, you even told her the job is better suited to her (or did you just tell us that?) - yet you get mad if she pursues it. You probably didn't want the job, but you are understandably flattered that your application got kicked up to the next level.

Your friend is also a bit competitive because, instead of supporting you when you said you flubbed the answers, she bragged that she would have nailed the questions. You probably told her the questions so that she would reassure you, but you wound up giving her the info - sort of like telling a study-buddy classmate in another section what was on the test.

If you gave her all this info, I don't see why she should notify you that she plans to apply for the job. You gave her the impression that you didn't do well and perhaps even that you weren't too psyched about the job. If she really wanted to hide the visit from you, she would have called the company for directions instead of you. I'm not sure why she needs an "invitation" from HR to drop off a resume, unless the job was not publicly posted and she could only have found out from someone else, like you. Lots of people drop off resumes all the time.

I think the two of you should either talk about this and square it away, or resolve to not discuss details so much. You are either friends or competitors, and it would be best if you decided. That way you will know how to proceed in the future and will not be nursing these hard feelings.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Well, I think that I would be a bit miffed as well. Since you are in the same field in the same area, you could definitely run into this again. I think that you are on the right track not discussing your job search until one of you lands a job. I suspect that she might be as desperate as you to find a job, so her actions show it...

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

We got word last October 25 (I know because I saw the email on the drive to the hospital for major surgery) that we lost our contract. We were shocked...our company had the work for over 40 years and was a shoe in, but guess not.

We all started looking for new work - we shared jobs and anything and everything we could. Some people got new jobs, others did not. I was one that did not, mostly because I wanted to stay put where I am. I have a GREAT job with wonderful flexibility that I need for playing the "single mom" during the week.

So my point is, that you said you both share the information, why would you be floored she acted on it? And you said she was a better I don't see the problem.

I agree you should no longer share information if you will be upset that she follows your lead for jobs.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Why are you floored? You said the position was better suited to her...
What did she do wrong? NOTHING!!! You stated you share job information.

It's a tough market. You cannot expect someone to NOT chase a new lead, especially when you FREELY ADMIT she's better suited for it than you. What she did was NOT wrong.

I don't get what you are upset about. Your words "One job I interviewed for is way better suited for my friend, but the folk liked my style and proceeded to send my papers to the next level." You have stated **THIS** is the job for her, NOT YOU.

Are you saying that IF the shoe were on the other foot, you would NOT go after the job as well? I'm sorry, I think you would considering how unhappy you are with your current situation.

What should say? GOOD LUCK!!! I think this job is better suited for you!

So now you are going to stop sharing on the off-chance that she is better than you? Is there something you can learn from her? Is there something you can do to make your resume better???

Good luck in finding a new position!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I don't see why you were floored.
Maybe if you shared leads that are "perfect" for someone else, they'll do the same for you.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Please let us know if she gets the job!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Honestly I don't think she was wrong. While on the surface you are job-hunting buddies, this ends when it comes to the same job. This is when job-hunting buddies become competitors and in this economy every opportunity is fair game, even if it seems like a stab in the back.

I'm sorry this happened to you but this is one of those lessons that was learned the hard way.

In her defense, you didn't seem interested in the job anyway, even if you told us instead of her.

Sounds like the dating world!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Ditto Sunshine, seeing as you did the same thing to me.

I DO see why you're floored, because for some reason, you didn't see this coming. But why didn't you? You told her about a job that is perfect for her, but not for you. She wants that job. She certainly should. The fact that she called you and not them to get directions means that she wasn't going to hide it from you.

It really doesn't make sense to be sharing info on jobs since there may only be one job. Then you two are competing. It's great that this particular job isn't really your cup of tea. Now you know what will happen again if you continue.

Your colleague sees this as "all is fair in love and war". Since you know this, you should too. If you don't want to cause a mess between you two while you still work together, let it go. If she asks for info, laugh and say "Hey, I don't want to lose another opportunity to ya. So I'll be mum for now, ha ha..." She'll understand.

2 moms found this helpful
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