We just watched "The Blind Side" and of course I cried! But it brought up the subject of adoption for my hubby and I. When we first got engaged we agreed that if suddenly hit the jackpot or had some wealthy relative leave us trucks full of money we would adopt as many kids as we could. We have our hands full with 2 young kids now and know that we can't really afford a third (let alone more) but we have seen or heard about so many kids that we know need better homes.
So have you thought of adopting?
If I had a nickel for every time the middle school principal asked me if I could take a kid home and raise them, I'd be a wealthy woman.
But really, No - I have two children and two is plenty for us.
That said, I do volunteer with my kids' activities and in effect do end up parenting a LOT of kids whose parents either can't or won't be involved.
LBC
Indeed we have. My husband and I agreed that we would try to have two biological children and then if we were in a position to do so we would adopt a little girl from some part of the world where they don't treat females well (we don't want another baby but would welcome another child). We are not yet in that position but hopefully someday we will get there.
Definitely. I now have a bio child but all of my life, I planned on not having children and only adopting. THere are SO many children in the world who need homes, its seems almost careless to me not to adopt if we can. It's really tragic that adopting is so expensive (although adopting older children or children with disabilities is not -- just adopting healthy infants).
I've also thought about foster parenting. Fostering-adopting is generally not expensive.
Yes, and we have. We had two biological children and adopted our third. We'd always wanted to adopt, and we did! Our daughter has cerebral palsy and is such a joy. When we met her she couldn't sit up, and now 6 months later she is almost walking independently. She came home at 3.5 and is now 4, our sons are 8.5 and 5. She's been a perfect addition to our family and hopefully next year we will bring her home a sister.
Anyone worried about money, please please do more research. God doesnt' call the equipped, he equips the called. Money isn't everything, you don't need to live in a mansion or have millions. Children don't care if you are beautiful or thin or have perfect hair and clothing. They want a family, large or small, big house or small, minivan or SUV, they don't care. There are so many grants, loans, and situations to help people adopt. our daughter is from Urkaine, and our biggest expense was travel, our tickets were $1300 round trip, and hers was $400 one way home. Our facilitation fee was $8000 (that included facilitators and translators in Kiev and in our region) and travel, train tickets were $200 USD total for travel to the region and back, and we ended up paying around $200 for a driver in region and in Kiev. Living expenses were minimal and so was food, everything there is much cheaper. Once we paid the facilitation fee, the fees we paid for everythign else (food, lodging, travel in country) was very small. Its so doable for so many people! Almost everyone, and you can fundraise and apply for grants and loans, use a credit card for travel. AND the tax reimbursemtn for adoption is over $13k, which we got back 100% this year and covered our fees 100%, we were able to pay off the credit card plane tickets, put the money bakc in our savings and replenish the area's we took money from to travel.
Please please consider special needs adoption, and do more research. Feel free to contact me too if you have questions.
Yes. We have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now - to give our son a sibling. Have miscarried twice and now unable to have more kids. So yes, we are going to adopt. We're relocating to a new state/city and once settled we'll start the paperwork for adoption. I'm really excited and nervous at the same time. We want a daughter - and we're wanting a toddler vs. a baby. So we'll probably go the foster to adopt path. I would easily consider adopting a teen - but my husband feels uncomfortable w/ that and he wants to make sure that our son keeps his "older" child status. Wish us luck! :)
Yup, holding her right now.:)
Well we kind of did it backwards. We went to the state agency to find out what it would take to become adoptive parents and got a baby like six months later. Three years later we had our own. Both have been a blessing and a joy. I kind of "cut" my teeth on the adoptive baby as to what a baby would be like so it was easier for the biological.
If you can and you feel in your heart that you are able to do so, go for it. Many people have a personal thought about this not being their own biological but it is no different the child just has to grew into your heart and not from your tummy.
Every child needs mom and dad no matter how they get them.
Good luck and enjoy the journey of adoption. There are many children here in the states that need parents without all of the travel all around the world. Do think about that before you go jet setting.
The other S.
I love what Becky W. said: "God doesnt' call the equipped, he equips the called." You can do it without hitting the jackpot. Children with special needs (including being an older child) often come with grants that help cover some of the adoption costs. My husband was military and I was a teacher, and we were able to afford an adoption that included a trip to China.
Yes, you "never what you are getting" when you adopt a child, but, technically, it's even more of a "gamble" with having a biological child. Your own biological children might not be born with a drug addiction, but they could be born with all kinds of other medical issues that would be just as, if not more, challenging.
You should read some blogs about adoption stories. They are all over the internet. They might give you a better feel for it.
ABSOLUTELY! It was my very first question on here, in 2006 :)
It was a dream of mine, when I was younger! To be able both to have my own children and to adopt children who needed us was something I really, really wanted. Why didn't it happen? Mostly because I married the wrong guy, as far as THAT was concerned! We had four of our own, and he is a very practical person... and for some reason he thinks I'm not.... :^D
And now, of course, I'm over the age requirement to be an adoptive parent. But it's easier now (though not actually easy) for people to adopt than it was when I was first thinking about it, and I am delighted to have many friends who have brought children into their families that way.
I have sponsored children through various organizations, though, and that's a way to help a child who needs help.
The only time I ever considered it my DH very kindly talked me out of it. A cousin of mine that I have been very close to my entire life, made some very bad choices and ended up having her 5 kids removed from the house. I immediately stepped up and offered to take them, whatever it took I have always been close to the kids also. Fortunatly my husband sat me down and said he understood where my heart was but we have two young boys, a three bedroom house.
Ive thought of fostering, seriously. Then i had 2 kids
Yup...mine's adopted and if we could afford it (and had a bigger place) we'd do it again...and again..and again.
I would love to. In fact, I am trying to convince my hubby that we need to work for Milton Hershey School (kind of like a boarding school but for under privileged kids who would live in a house with you acting as parents). I feel like I have been blessed with so much in life, and I would love to be able to pass some of that on in a small way. My husband is slowly getting used to the idea of Milton Hershey School, but I think it would take some more time to get him to seriously think about adoption!
I have definitely thought about it. I have also thought about fostering, but would wait until my kids were much older. I have the same constraints as some others though, money and space.
Yep, my brother in law is adopted (husbands brother). My best friend can't have any more kids so they are considering adoption too. I know so many people that have done it that I guess it's not even a big deal anymore :)
Oh yes, many, many times.
Though it seems overwhelming to me (the process).
One day when our children are a little older maybe I will press the issue more.
Yes. There are so many kids in need in foster care. I just want to bring home 1, 2, or 5 of them! There is one in particular that I keep seeing his picture. He would fit right in. Age wise he would be the oldest. The thing that has stopped me is that both parents work full time and varying hours. He'd come home to an empty house for about 2 hours, which don't get me wrong, I used to do that. I just think that if you adopt a kid, they shouldn't have alot of alone time. THEY'VE been there, done that.
M.
I would. Money really is the only thing stopping us. I would take on older kids. No babies. The older ones need the most love and attention. There are tons of people that want baby babies when it comes to adoption. I think its great there are so many people willing to do so. That has to suck though for the kids that are from 6 on. They see their chances of every finding a permanent home just fade away as they get older.
So my answer is Yes. I would. I hope some day we can as well.
Absolutely! My husband and I would love to adopt. We have two beautiful biological kids, but would love a third My only issue with adopting is how difficult the "system" makes it. There are so many children who need loving homes with parents who would give their life for them and the "system" makes it so expensive to even think about it. It feels like they want you to put a down payment on a child. My sister was adopted from Vietnam 13 years ago and it cost my dad $20,000! It is just crazy. I bet if something could be done to eliminate the high cost, there would be so many more children out of foster care and orphanages and in loving homes!!!
I would have considered it if I was unable to have my own. I have three and my hands are full! :)
Yes, but since I have 2 of my own, I'm just not sure and have lots of questions.
absolutely, but our medical expenses over the last 18 years have sucked up all of our time, $, & energy.
Yes! If we were in a very comfortable financial situation, I would adopt in the US. There are plenty that I could give a great loving home. We jumped to get a vasectomy when my youngest was 5 months. I got pregnant very easily, and I was scared. That decision was a mistake. I want more, and would have adopted if it didn't cost so much.
This has never crossed my mind.I was able to have 3 of my own & more if I would allow it to, but adoption just isn't the choice I would take regrdless if I was unable to have children of my own or money out the wazooo.
