Jealousy? - Fresno,CA

Updated on December 08, 2008
R.M. asks from Mesa, AZ
8 answers

My 11-month old daughter seems to be very jealous of anyone that hugs me, especially my husband, her daddy. Anytime he hugs, cuddles, or kisses me, she gets upset, and sometimes even cries for me to come get her, or pick her up, or whatever. She even got upset the other day when my grandma hugged me! She's acted this way for the past few months.
Has anyone else experienced this?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks for all your responses. While I wasn't running to her whenever she complained, i've starting implementing the "it's ok, daddy's just hugging me" and then including her in a group hug. She's still complaining when she sees daddy hugging me, but not as much as she was.
I'm glad to hear it is normal. Thank you all. :)

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I experience the same thing with my daughter who is now 8. At 11 months old you are her world, everything to her. She is just beginning to understand that there are other people who also need your time and love. I included my daugter in the hugs especially with my husband. There is time for more intimate kisses when she is asleep. When she started talking she would sing "we are one big happy family" when we hugged. I also have two younger boys. She will now say to me "I need some Mommy alone time". I am encouraging this so when she is a teenager she can come to me to talk about anything.
I also practice attachment parenting and believe the more kids are loved and feel secure at home the more independent they will be out in the world.
A year is such a cute age.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I have a possessive 11 month old also. We tackled this by including him in hugs (we squish him between my self and husband, daughter and others) so he felt included. It took a couple of weeks but he got over the jealousy and even lets me hold other babies. When he gets jealous I just make sure to include him for a few minutes to assure him he is still number 1 in my life and he goes about he merry way. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.I.

answers from San Francisco on

I went throught this stage and it lasted a few months. She is taking ownership of you. For me it was if any male other than him or his daddy touched me or got near. Screamed if I saw a dr or a chiropracter. So I tried to keep it to a minimum and encouraged people to say Hi and hug him first (if they were friends like at church) and then me. I would also hold him during hugs. For a while we called it family hug. Thankfully that stage was short for us. He still loves to give hugs but will do it when he wants.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

What's "attachment parenting" and could this be why shes overly attached?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I haven't experienced this. However, my 2 cents is that it's just a phase. She's used to having you all to herself so she's pitching a little fit when she sees you giving/getting attention from somebody else... it's her first lesson in sharing. I'd say either don't react to it at all or be very matter of fact, w/out any coddling - Mommy give hugs to all the people she loves or Mommy likes getting lots of hugs and kisses. Continue to show affection for others - it's a great example of how to be with loved ones.

The last thing I'd do is go pick her up when she's pitching a fit. I'm all for loving on your kids when they need you, but when their grouchiness is due to you receiving hugs from other people, then I'd go right on getting the hug wait a minute or two and then go get her. You don't want her associating that if she pitches a fit over something she doesn't like and you drop everything and go to her. Not a good habit to form.

Good luck! I'm sure it won't last.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with the answer from Andrea. She needs to be told lovingly, but firmly, that you're allowed to take and give hugs and kisses from others, and that this in no way lessens the love you have for her. It's a phase, and right now it's hugs, later it will be talking, for example with your husband. Same thing, reassure her that you have the right. FYI, my son has done the same, now just 4, and has passed out of this phase.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Stockton on

My 28 mth old son still does this when his dad hugs me. I'm HIS mommy. It's a faze they grow out of. My husband always talks to him about it, saying he loves mommy too and wants to hug and kiss her. He than goes and hugs my son and repeats the same thing so there is some consistancy. when we are all laughing about it, he will also throw in "she was my wife before she was your mommy".......which always gets an evil eye. But we try to keep it playful so that he doesn't get a complex about it, but that he knows it's okay for mommy and daddy to hug.

good luck, just wait till your daughter starts positioning herself in between you two trying to seperate you.......ahh, good times, good times.

all fazes
K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I couldn't agree more with Andrea and Muriel C. You daughter has to learn that you have enough love for her and for other people (namely your husband), but most importantly, she has to learn to become secure in that love. If you coddle her and run to her every time she gets upset because you are touching someone else, then you aren't teaching her anything except how to get her way. It is gratifying for a mother when a child behaves this way, but it is more gratifying when your child grows up to become a strong, self-confident individual who is secure in the notion that all members of her family love each other.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions