Jealous of My Mum Spending Time with My Newborn.

I didn't experience the same situation but had a mother in law who kept popping over uninvited right after baby was born.

I was hormonal, tired and not in the mood. I needed time alone with my new baby.

I took my baby, went to my bedroom to nurse and nap. Even if we weren't napping, no one needed to know that, I would just bond with her in the privacy of my own bedroom.

Just tell your Mom that you and baby are going to your room to nurse, nap or enjoy some bonding "mommy and baby" time. Tell her you'll come back out at a certain time that you decide upon. It's a subtle way of leaving the room and letting her know you want some privacy.

What you are feeling is completely normal. It took me quite awhile with my first one to realize that when someone asked to hold him it was ok to say no. When my in-laws came to visit and meet my son. They wanted to spend all of their time with him, and I was just there to do the dirty work. I finally decided that while doing the dirty work (ie changing diapers, nursing, putting him down for a nap), that I would do it in a seperate room by myself. I would shut the door as a hint to not be disturbed and stay in there as long as I wanted.

If I were you, when your baby has a need, gently take the baby from your mom, and say I'll do that, he/she needs... and take your time. You could also gently point out that you have had to devote more time to the new one and would think it would be great if she could do something with the other 2 to make them feel special since they have had less attention.

Your are not crazy. I had the same kind of problem with my good friend who was my first son's nanny. I think you need to realize that she probably thinks she is helping you. I am sure if you let her know how she can best help you, she will be fine with it. I would suggest you tell her "In a few weeks I will have to go back to work and I really want some alone time with the baby. Can you help me by taking the other kids to (park, movie, etc) so I can spend some one on one bonding time with my new baby without having the other children feel left out?" I would also discuss this with your hubby. Maybe he could also hint to her that you really want to maximize how much alone time you get with the new baby before returning to work.

If she is not staying permanently I would let her indulge! My mom lives with us and we go through that a little, but I know that the kids are mine and they come to me with their problems and for help. There is something about a newborn that is so sweet and tender that attracts us to them, in the mean time, you can spend time with the older ones, so they don't get jealous of the little one. Get your rest now, you will need to be well rested for when you go back to work. Good luck and congratulations on the baby.