I've Had It - San Diego,CA

Updated on April 29, 2011
K.K. asks from San Diego, CA
25 answers

super upset (just one of those days) venting here, sorry

We have a german shepherd that i do not like very much, he destroys everything and is super stubborn. I've told my husband over and over again to train him, groom him, etc etc. He doesn't. I say groom bc our dog sheds so much hair its disgusting and annoying. I am so upset right now i don't know what to do, or maybe i'm overreacting. I mop and sweep everyday, sometimes twice a day, we have tile and before my son wakes up i clean and place foam mats with his toys to play. Well its never 12 hrs or more since i last mopped and all before there's dog hair scattered all over the house. Our dog is an outside dog, never inside...but i'm so sick and tired of dog hair making its way inside the house. I get it, we might be bringing it in with our shoes etc etc, but my husband doesn't sweep or clean outside, EVER. He'll clean maybe once every four months , so there's hair balls (big ones) all over the front porch and everywhere around the house outside. I've had it! I've had it with dog hair inside the house. I had a break down a couple of weeks ago because of this, because my DH is so lazy, had i known he wasn't gonna keep up with the cleaning of the dog i would have not let him get it. Now he doesn't want to get rid of it. What shall i do? I've talked to him nicely, i've complained, cried. This might sound silly but when you have a toddler putting everything in his mouth, after a while seeing dirty dog hair gets to you, especially if your husband is lazy! aahhh

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So What Happened?

Hi, thank u all for the replies. Yes my frustration is w my husband. as far as the dog destroying everything, well he is a puppy, maybe that's why? He does get walked every day. And believe me, he gets lots of love from my husband. I on the other hand am not a dog person so I hardly "play" w him. Anyway, somebody mentioned that dog hair makes ur immune system stronger, funny- that's exactly what my husband says. All in all he's just lazy and takes foooorever to do something and that pushes me over the edge.

Oh and he said he would clean once a week, "deep clean" hope that's true

Featured Answers


answers from Albany on

Yikes, I've got two Golden Retrievers, I think my house would make you sick! In addition to the Dog Hair Tumbleweeds drifting around at all times, every window in the house has Dog Nose Slop on it!

Maybe put an add in the paper....'House Trained Husband and German Sheppard free to Good Home'!


10 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Try the good old Asian tradition of no shoes in the house. It works wonders with keeping the floors clean.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boca Raton on

I would tell my husband that I am going to hire someone to come and brush/train the dog every single day and it is going to cost him DEARLY.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Eugene on

Get rid of your husband and keep the dog. Dogs once trained are easier to get to cooperate than a stubborn self centered lazy man.

18 moms found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

In your position, I would take him to the groomer myself to make sure it gets done. Ask them about the shedding and what you can do, if anything, to minimize the problem. They may have suggestions.

Also do the same with training. Since it sounds like you're the one stuck with the dog you don't really want all day, this could be a way to feel better about it all. You're taking action and making sure this dog's behavior improves.

Keep in mind that your frustration here is with your husband, not the dog. It's not the dog's fault that it sheds so much and isn't groomed and same thing with the training. If that was your husband's responsibility, he's the one to blame.

I think if you put your foot down and finally take the right steps yourself, you may find that it's a whole lot more pleasurable to be around the dog and perhaps he can even become an indoor dog getting lots of attention, as dogs should be.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

German Shepherds are an amazing breed of dog. They are clever, loyal, sweet, and designed for daily stimulation and work. A German Shepherd who is neglected (I'm using this term loosely), is a dangerous dog. That breed, in particular, NEEDS to be part of a pack and to get a mental and physical workout every day. If not, it can start having some serious behavioral issues.

It doesn't seem like your dog is THE issue. Your and your husband's relationship/dynamic seems like it needs work and the dog is an easy target. The dog, for you, seems to have become the symbol of an imbalance in your relationship.

Here is what I suggest, in relation to the dog. Sit down with your husband. Kindly explain that the dog is not being treated fairly. It doesn't sound like a happy life for ANY dog, let alone a large, active breed. It lives in the backyard and is not trained or played with/loved on/disciplined/exercised. The current arrangement is not fair on the DOG (or, by the sounds of it, you - but it might be helpful to keep the two issues separate).

Then set clear and reasonable goals. Here are some examples:
-Dog gets run for one half hour a day, minimum. Husband takes it for these runs.
-Husband reads a training book (or three) and starts applying the techniques he learns every day. The dog should get trained (throughout the day, everyday - but that's probably not reasonable) at least once a day for twenty minutes.
-Husband is responsible for feeding, watering, grooming and porch sweeping.

Then set a timeline. If, for example, in two weeks, your husband has not been able to follow though with the BASIC upkeep of this animal, the DOG needs to be given to a better home. There are German Shephed Rescue groups that will find it a good home. http://www.gsdrescue.org/

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

It sounds like the REAL frustration is with your husband...and it's manifesting with the dog. It's not the dog's fault, it's the fault of your HUSBAND. I think you know this, though. It really sounds like you've had it with your husband, but your frustrating is being pinned on the dog.
Tell your husband, you are going to pay someone to come out and groom the dog. In addition, you're going to ire someone to come out and train it. If he doesn't do it himself, then you're going to pay for it. That might get his attention.

Truly, staying outside all the time is no life for a dog. They are living beings and have needs, just like us. They get anxious and nervous when their needs aren't being met. Extreme shedding and being destructive are signs of a VERY unhappy dog. It's completely unfair for a dog to live in this situation. If your husband won't do what it takes, and since you have no attachment to the dog...it's time to find a proper home. And NO, this doesn't involve dropping it off at the shelter. This animal is still your family's responsibility and you should take the time to find it a loving home.

When/If the dog is gone, you will still have the same frustrations with your husband. He will still be lazy. He will still cause you stress and frustration. The dog is NOT the reason why you're mad at him. Him being a lazy person, is why you're mad. I suggest you look into counseling. The dog situation being solved, is not going to magically fix your marriage.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I'd approach a discussion with him about your sanity and ability to be a reasonable person. Tell him how upset this makes you and ask him to be sympathetic to your problems with the dog. Be sympathetic to his not wanting to get rid of the dog. Ask him to work out a compromise with you so that he can once more have a loving wife.

The compromise could be that he keeps the dog but that he brushes him daily and sweeps the front porch. Otherwise tell him for the sake of your own sanity he must find another home for the dog.

Without castigating him, ask him to help you. Calling him lazy is castigating and will work against getting him to co-operate. Perhaps suggest that if he brushes the dog daily, you'll sweep the porch. Or offer an exchange of duties. If he'll sweep and mop the floors you'll brush the dog and sweep outside.

Perhaps you could admit that you're possibly over reacting because of the large amount of dog hair and that you could handle it if there was just less hair.

By the way, the dog hair will not hurt your son unless he's allergic to dog dander. Studies have shown that kids exposed to a normal amount of dirt and animal dander develop strong immune systems.

I also suggest that you consider that he's not being lazy. It's more like he doesn't see the need for doing it. You'll not only feel better but be better able to negotiate with your husband if you let go of the idea that he's lazy.

Another suggestion, if you can afford it is to take the dog to the groomers, as suggested by as CAwritermom suggests. And sweep off the porch yourself. I suspect that you'd expend less energy just taking care of the problem yourself than you're expending being upset with your husband.

Perhaps there's an older child or a teen who would take over brushing for a small fee. Sweeping the porch could be a part of their fee or you could sweep the porch at the same time you sweep inside. It won't take very much time or energy. Certainly not as much as constantly fighting.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

Can you shave it? I was super hormonal when pregnant with my first child and had a meltdown b/c of the dog hair. I went straight to the groomers and had him shaved. The type of fur he has we were not supposed to shave it, but now 5 years later the dog looks sooo much better shaved and helps keep the heat off him and the dog hair out of the house. Solved the problem

(and just a side note after I picked our dog up for the 1st time after being shaved - and all hormonal - I cried b/c I let my emotions get the better of me and felt bad for the dog. But in the end it all worked out :) )

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

I have a couple of suggestions, having owned some shedding dogs in the past:
1) take the dog to be groomed (you can do this at Petco, PetSmart, etc)
2) brush the dog every day or every other day (once the dog has been groomed, just get a shedding tool and it won't be a big deal)
3) ask your vet for suggestions on food and pest control. If the dog sheds excessively, or is scratching at himself, he may be allergic to something in his food and a simple diet change could reduce the shedding quite a bit. Also, if he has fleas (which happens this time of year), doing a monthly flea treatment like Frontline would reduce his scratching.
4) go to a dog training class with him. German Shepherds are smart dogs and are easy to train. The dog would love it, and you would be rewarded with a lifelong companion who will love you and your baby.

Please don't take him to the shelter. Most dogs are euthanized who are sent to the shelter. It's not the dog's fault your husband is being a jerk. If you are overwhelmed with the housework, I think the professional grooming followed by daily brushing will work wonders. Or, hire a dog walker and have them do it. When your husband complains about the cost of the dog walker, let him have it. ;)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

Shave the dog. I mean get a 20 dollar hair clipper form walmart and sit on the dog and shave the hair all off. It doesn't matter if it looks all that even right now, you will get better at it, and it will cut down on the air 1000 fold. REALLY! We had roommates while hubby was in medical school and when they did rotations in far away places we watched the lab/sheepdog mix and they shaved her every month or 2. It took 20 minutes and I didn't have to sweep/mop and vacuum every 20 minutes anymore (she was an indoor dog....)

Personally I think your dog is already living is a unloving home so if you do want to get her/him a new home I have no problem with it.

Also when your son is about 18 months he can start grooming with one of those plastic mitt brushes... It was my daughters FAVORITE activity in the world and kept them both happy for HOURS! (I was in the room with them while this was happening so I know that neither one was being abused)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Take him to the groomer and have him shaved, we shave our dog every 2 months ourselves because she is also a major shedder and is an indoor dog. When the hair starts growing back, keep his coat nice and brushed to pull out that underhair coat. And really, an outdoor German Shephard that isn't getting trained and isn't constantly being handled and connected to the family can be very dangerous.... especially to your toddler. The reason the dog tears things up is because it is bored and untrained... not his fault.

Take the right precautions and get this dog trained... even if you have to do it yourself.

I agree through, the issue isn't the dog, it's your husband. He needs to have an ultimatum, that he needs to man up and take responsibility or you will rehome the animal into a family that is actually going to love and take care of him. I feel sorry for the dog.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I'm a bit surprised too that there's SO much hair. We have a large indoor dog, granted short haired, but he's wherever we are all the time and sure, we need to sweep etc but it's not that bad. If you're dog is always outside, how can there be so much hair? It seems like lots of options - take your shoes off before entering the house, shave him as someone suggested, give him away, tell your husband you're hiring a groomer etc. As a dog lover though, it does seem mean to have an outdoor only dog. I remember our friends growing up kept their Lab outside all the time. The few times he got in the house, he was a maniac bc he was so incredibly excited. Dogs are pack animals. They want to be with someone or other dogs. Why have him like this? Does he get walked? Our dog gets a ton of exercise via me. It's a pain but I wanted him and it's my responsibility. I work full time and have 2 kids so not like I have loads of free time to do this. But not his fault we adopted him and the exercise keeps him calm. Underexercised German Shepards are bound to be a handful and training will only do so much. Personally, I'd rather see a dog mercifully put down than live such a boring, unloved life... It's quick and painless. I volunteered at our Humane Society for years and they showed us a video. If only people could die so painlessly... Or much better - there's likely a German Shepard Rescue Society. These societies have people dedicated to the breed who find good homes for the dogs - at least the ones I know. I don't mean to be harsh. My husbands HATES any dog hair and so since I wanted the dog, I make sure there's not much around. Your husband should do the same. But if not, there are options... Show your husband this post...

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

okay, here's what I don't get: If you're so diligent about keeping the house clean, then why is the hair such an issue?

I have 2 80lb dogs in/out all day long. One is nonshedding....so he doesn't count. The other is an Old English Sheepdog mix.....& his shedding is like fluff floating thru the air. It is an issue only if we don't brush him.

I have an inhome daycare & none of my moms complain about dog hair or odor. They know the dogs are in/out....but are kept separate from the children. I wear dark clothes 90% of the time & only have to deal with dog hair on me when he actually brushes against me.

My daycare families also know that when all of the kids leave for the day....we do "floor patrol" & clean/put away all of the toys/equipmt.....& then the dogs have free reign of our home. Dog hair is just simply not an issue for any of us....or anywhere in our home!

Since this is such an emotional issue for you, what about just using dog care as a teaching tool for your toddler? Allowing your child to help with the daily brushing would be an excellent learning experience & will teach lifelong basic skills to your child.

In other words, how about trying the flipside? Instead of approaching this part of your life from a negative standpoint.....try flipping your own attitude & take charge by being a bigger & better person than your husband is in this situation. A little bit of dog hair will not harm your child...& even if allergies are present, there are ways to work around that! Peace....

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Biloxi on

Please don't take the dog to the pound - it is most often a death sentence and it is not the dog's fault your hubby is not responsible.

If you really can't keep him anymore, talk to your Vet's office and let them know that you want to find him another home. My Vet's office posts notices and helps people find homes for pets all the time.

What about hiring a neighbor teen to clean up the porch area every week or so? Maybe the extra expense will help your Hubby see the light and find a hairbrush and a broom.

Good Luck Krys, I know this is frustrating for you.

God Bless

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

See this is one of those posts the DH clearly doesn't stand for darling husband. :p

Take the dog to the pound and tell your husband it ran away when you left the gate open all day. :) A bonus he will be driving around looking for the dog while you sit at home enjoying a beer and a clean house.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Eau Claire on

Try using the vacuum hose. It picks hair up very well. Our lab sheds it everywhere too. I hate all the vacuuming and I know how you feel but I love her and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Sometimes I get mad about all the upkeep or barking but she really is a good dog.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

Obviously its not a problem for your husband,,but is for you. You may never get anywhere barking(sorry) at him other than divorce court so just take the dog for grooming as often as it needs. Or brush him yourself. Youll have time to do that since once you start brushing the dog you might not have to sweep and mop so often. Maybe if it costs enough and stops hubby from having some new toy, or a dinner out he may decide to help with the problem or get rid of the dog himself. But as long as he doesnt think its a problem he wont do anything to stop it. Guess its all on your shoulders now.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Can you train the dog so it enjoys being vacuumed?
Some dogs really love it and it really picks up the loose hair before it floats around.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Get a roomba and a scooba. We have dog and cat inside and this is how I cope (I prefer outside animals but my husband is soft-hearted, bless him). Seriously, the roomba is the best thing we have ever bought. Since seeing mine seven of my friends and colleagues have bought one. They are GREAT! Seriously.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Dogs are sweet and I love them but they are alot of work - which is why we don't have one. We have two cats who add enough fur to the house - but not as much as a large dog. Your first mistake was ever allowing him to show up at the door with a dog. My husband and kids have begged for a dog for years - instead, we enjoy other people's dogs. Tell him in no uncertain terms that unless he's going to clean up after the dog the dog must go. There is nothing more gross than a home where a dog lives and the owners do not clean constantly. Sounds like you are cleaning constantly so your house doesn't reek of dog. <deep sigh> If he doesn't take you serious then startmaking calls to shelters, put the dog on craigslist, or in the local pennysaver, etc.

Good luck mama.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Our dog is only an outside dog. He has his own nice fenced area and the kids go outside in the backyard to play with him and we also take him to the park when we go. He is rarely in the house. Maybe you can do the same. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I have a LARGE very furry inside dog. Frankly I'm surprised so much hair is getting into your house from an outside dog! Is he trapped on the porch all day? Do you have a yard? Fence the yard--maybe get a nice kennel in your yard?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

we have 4 cats (orange & white) and black carpets! I vaccuum every morning, 2 different vaccuums, one for hardwood & one for carpets. Then I mop. Its a royal pain in the butt, my 14 month old LOVES the vaccuum so Im either dodging her or holding her on one hip while I do it, because she pretty much chases it, trying to help, play, grab the cord... she wont sit in her crib or anything else, Ive tried, she screams! Its such a pain. Yes it is a pain to see little one eating fur, she tries to pluck it from the cats & eat it, or if she sees a tuft, she's on it, trying to get it for a taste. I know Ive thought of shaving the cats, maybe shave the dog! (kidding) I dont know what to suggest, but I know how you feel about the hair.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Harrisburg on

Take the dog yourself and get it groomed. Let your husband pay the bill or get another low maintenance dog.

1 mom found this helpful
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