Itchy Bottoms?

Updated on March 05, 2007
C.T. asks from Philadelphia, PA
8 answers

Ok, my daughter is 3, and will be 4 in July. She is starting a new "daycare" at a Catholic School on Monday. I'm concerned cause I told them she was potty trained, but has "accidents." Truth is, I have had her in pull-ups, and although she does go to the potty SOMETIMES, I don't trust her in panties. I've tried off and on, but everytime I do, she has an accident. The problem is, that she'll go if she is taken to the bathroom, but she RARELY opens her mouth to say she has to go. Also, I got her some very pretty Dora and Princess panties, but when I tried to put them on her, she complains it itches, and would jam her hand in her panty to "adjust" it. Her previous daycare stated that she's been pulling her pull-ups down and t******* h******...in front of the other kids (it's like she doesn't realize she's in public). I personally never experienced her doing this, so it's hard for me to address with her. I saw her put her hand down her pants several times last night at the hair salon, and a teenage boy saw her, and i was VERY embarrassed. But like I said, it seems very unconscious. When I am talking to her, her hand will wander to her back and hand goes on the butt...she doesn't have a rash or anything there, it just seems like a very worrisome habit. I dno't know what to do about it...I don't want people to think she has mental problems at her new school...!!!

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So What Happened?

Just wish to thank everyone for their advice and help. Turns out that after 2 days of "accidents," she was totally potty-trained shortly after starting her new school. She now asks to go to the potty, and she had one accident in her bed one night, but she knew it was an accident and not the norm. Also, her panties WERE too small...after getting a larger size, she was a lot happier...also, I haven't heard anything from her new teachers about her pulling her panties down in public, so everything turned out well!!!

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S.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

Well, I had boys, but I can try. The first thing I thought was that you might want to try getting her panties a size bigger. If they are the cotton type try the silky ones. And this might be a stretch, but did you take her to the doctors and see if she has a yeast infection? It's worth a try. When she puts her hands in her panties you just redirect her behavior. Take her hand out by her forearm and take her to wash her hands and tell her that is something that is not done in public. Tell her that is she is itchy she should tell you her mom or the teacher in private or quietly (sp?) It will take a bit to train her this ..... but its worth a try

S.
PS: good luck

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daughter is about 2 1/2 and she has been doing the same thing. The doctor - and about every other person I've asked has told me that it's natural curiousity and to let it run it's course. Since your daughter is older maybe you could explain to her that it's not something she can do in public but I'm know I'm out of luck trying to explain that to a 2 yr old. And if you ever just want to talk to another single mother - My e-mail box is always open :) Although I live in Pittsburgh I've been a single mom since the day she was born. :) Good Luck!

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J.P.

answers from Washington DC on

What your describing to me seems like completely normal exploration. I have a feeling if you make a big deal out of it she may do it more- Atleast that has been my experiance with my son. Kids are very inquisitive about their bodies. She probally has just became coscious that she has parts. I would maybe guide her gently in public that it's not an appropriate time to touch though just to make her aware of social graces. If her underwear is itching her it may be because of the material. Some polester bothers my son.

As for potty training- There will be MANY accidents. We had an entire week of accidents when trying to teach my son. He never got the concept either unless we took him almost every 10 min. to try. Then gradually the accidents went away and now he tells us. All of this sounds completely normal! Best of luck. Jenn

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A.E.

answers from Harrisburg on

I would ask her, first, if something is actually itching or hurting. If not, she may be t******* h****** because it feels good. In that case, assuming nothing is actually wrong, I would just tell her that it isn't appropriate to touch herself in public and at school. It is something she should do when she is alone.
If her panties are itching, maybe try another brand...I've found that they are cut very differently from brand to brand.
Potty training takes time but she'll get it.

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K.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daughter does this too and she is 4 and 1/2. I notice when she goes to sleep at night she will have her hand on her butt. She also has to try tons of panties on before she finds the right one. She will say its not working. We buy the underwear a size bigger than she wears before she doesnt like them tight on her. Maybe trying to buy underwear a little bigger with help with your daughter. My daughter wasnt completely toliet trained when she went to preschool at 3. She still isnt she refuses to poo in the potty. I have notcied if i dont hide teh pull-ups from her she will not even pee in the potty at home. At school she has no accidents but at home is another story. I know its becuase she has access to teh pull ups. her 3 yr old brother isnt potty trained yet either. Once she gets into the setting with peers she will end up using the potty even if its only at school.

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S.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

For getting her potty trained you can just try cold turkey. We did this with my daughter and it really worked. It's a bit of a pain because you may have to change her a few times in one day but I found that it worked after a few days. The daycare are the ones that told me that's what I should do, so they did it during the day for me too. We just put her in panties and kept asking her if she had to go to the bathroom. I think if you keep her in diapers (pull-ups) it's a security and she knows she doesn't really have to use the bathroom.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you considered the possibility of pin worm? It is actually very common in preschool aged children. Its a little worm that "hides" inside the anus and causes A LOT of itching!

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

It is absolutely normal for children to touch their privates. They do it because they're curious and it feels good; it does not necessarily mean that there's a rash or other health problem going on. She is at an age where you should be able to talk to her about what we do in public and what we do in private. But you have to be careful to make it very clear that there's nothing wrong or "dirty" about t******* h******, just that it's something we do when we have private time. You should also explain to her that she needs to wash her hands afterward, and that if she touches her butt she shouldn't touch her vulva again until she's washed her hands, because there can be germs there that could make it sore. If she's learning how to wipe herself you can also explain that that's why she has to wipe front to back.

She may have a sensory issue with the panties. If you haven't noticed any other symptoms I wouldn't think she has full-blown SPD, but just this one issue. http://www.spdnetwork.org/ if you've never heard of it.

You could try boys underwear, or boxers, or bicycle shorts and see if that's more comfortable to her. Also, make sure you're not washing them with fabric softner or scented detergents, and give them an extra cold rinse cycle.

Disposable pull-ups may make it harder to pottylearn because they don't have the sensation of being wet and uncomfortable. You might want to try cloth trainers and see if she can tolerate them.

Can you ask her care provider to take her to the potty every hour?

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