Issues with Possible OCD Boyfriend!! HELP!

Updated on January 25, 2007
Y.O. asks from San Jose, CA
12 answers

I am just wondering if there is anyone out there that is going through the same issues as me!!?? I have been with my BF for over 5 years. When we me, of course it was all good. Then I started to notice him constantly washing his hands.. and they are sooo dry! ughhh. Anyways, that isnt the end of it. He totally avoids messes..cant stand even sprinkles of water on the counter left only for a sec. He also checks, when we leave the house or get to his place if the garage is going to open, which is normal, but checking 4-5 times? This is strange, but he will constantly tell himself.. "FOCUS".. He is always watching me to see if I screw up on something. I am not a child. I feel like I walk on eggshells around him and feel like I am always biting my tongue. In a loving relationship, I should not have to go through this, should I?? Please need some advice on my problem... I dont know what to do! :(

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C.Z.

answers from Sacramento on

Yeah that sounds kind of OCD, have you talked about it with him? Maybe you should get him to see a doctor. And get him some hand lotion !)

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D.N.

answers from Medford on

Now I'm not a doctor and I've never had a personal experience with OCD, but I did take a required training through my school district on OCD once. And it sounds to me like he may have at least a touch of OCD. I would suggest that you do some research on OCD and look into support groups for him and you if in fact he does turn out to have it. Do you think he is willing to be evaluated to determine whether or not he has OCD?

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L.S.

answers from Eugene on

My husband has OCD. I noticed it when I was dating him too. I have mental illnesses in my family and recognized the behaviors right away, but waited until we had a solid relationship before I brought it up. My experience from therapy with him, the behaviors are quite shameful to the person with OCD. Often they respond with anger (not necessarily violent) to the behaviors, as they know they are irrational. The compulsive part of the disorder cause them to give in to the irrational behaviors. It is tricky to tell someone you love that you are afraid for their mental health, it can come off as telling them you think they are "crazy". I read an amazing book called Brain Lock, I highly recommend it. I got my copy on half.com for 4$. Good luck and I will send you strength.

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B.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I watched something on MTV once that had to do with OCD. I have a mild case of OCD when it comes to plucking my eyebrows...

He doesn't mean to do it, that's the sad part. I would suggest you sit him down and ASK about it without sounding condescending.

I am sure he would like to get help for it if it's causing some sorty of strain in your relationship.

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A.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have OCD, and so does my sister, my brother, and lots of people in my family. My sister is the only one that has to be on meds for it. I would just ask him, but it is a very embarising subject. Meds didnt work for my type or my brothers, but my sister has to have it or she is just not normal (for lack of a better word). See if it runs in his family, look online, let him know you are there to support him. If you want more info, send me an e mail, I'll try to hep you out if I can.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

shooooo.....i feeeeeeel you....

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C.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

My sister's husband is just like that. Their house is always perfect, he even keeps the dogs in the kennel when they're in the house just so dog hair doesn't get all over the floor.

I'd suggest you talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and see if he could lighten up. But over all it is who he is and it'll be something that you have to ask yourself if you can deal with. Some times I think it would be nice rather than my husband who is so messy and always forgets to pick up after himself. Everyone has their 'thing' it's just a matter of what you can live with and what you can't.

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B.P.

answers from Seattle on

Danger Will Robinson! Your boyfriend needs psychological help.
You are correct in that you shouldnt have to feel like you're walking on eggshells or constantly biting your tongue. My husband is a tiny bit like that about our cars.. I cant imagine what you must be feeling! I'd gently ask him to talk to his doctor about his symptoms.

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C.C.

answers from Portland on

My husband has OCD. He really likes things cleans and I am not the cleanest person and he has learn to deal with it. He recognizes he has it and occasionally it will really come through with certain things. He really accepts it. It would be nice for him to get some counseling about it, but we don't have the insurance right now.

Have you ever tried to talk to him about it? It really does sound like he has OCD. It does sound like he needs some help with it. It definitely soundlsike he has OCD, but I am not an expert. If he is in denial and you try to help him with it, how safe is it for you? My husband in one of his really bad bouts with it has snapped at me but is not violent. You really need to talk to him about it if you haven't already done so. I know we talk about it when issues come up. It helps my husband. And we do need to get him into couseling.

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D.H.

answers from Spokane on

Sounds like your boyfriend has a disorder. He can't help himself in the things he is doing so therefore, he probably see's no problem. I would suggest you discuss this with him and if he is aware ask him to get treatment for it. As far as I know, there are not many treatments that really work for the disorder. If you love this guy then I would suggest you hang in there and see what can be worked out if you are not to that point you may want to consider telling him that the behaviors are really beyond what you can handle and not to be mean but I can't feel comfortable around it anymore. This is a hard area to deal with because either way chances are there is really nothing he can do to change so the decision falls on you. Bless you in this one cause I would be absolutely insane dealing with someone who has OCD.

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D.G.

answers from Portland on

Well it sounds like OCD but even if its not then that is who he is and so I would give the same advice either way. You cnat expect someone to change even if it isnt OCD so you have to decide if this is something you can deal with. After 5 years if it is still going on then you cant expect it to stop without alot of help. So maybe counseling would benefit you and your BF.

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

Sounds like OCD to me. Try not to take his behavior personally. You will just need to decide whether or not this is something you want to take on. If it's too much for you then you should move on, there is effective treatment for OCD but it doesn't go away.

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