Issues with Breastfeeding

Doing the halfad half thing is totally acceptable. Just the fact that he has gotten it for this long is a great start for him. If you are on a good pumpig schedule, you could keep him on bottled breastmilk for as long as you like and it is still accomplishing the same thing.

I asked my friend (who is a La Leche League Leader [LLL]) for some advice for you. This is what she suggested:

Lots of skin-on-skin, bathing together, laying in bed together, re-romancing him to the breast. He's only 4 months old so this should be fixable. You should treat it like a breastfeeding strike, hang in there, pump very frequently, otherwise your milk supply will go down drastically. Additionally she said that if you exclusively pump it's likely your milk supply will not last long. You need to be a VERY dedicated pumper - including getting up during the night - to maintain a milk supply without a baby actually nursing.

Have you tried going to a LLL meeting in your area? I found it to be a great resource for breastfeeding questions and general baby and mom questions. There is a lot of knowledge in the group and it is comforting to hear helpful responses to questions and know that you are not the first mom to deal with these issues. They will try to help you through your breastfeeding issues, but don't judge you if you chose otherwise. Their 'job' is to provide breastfeeding support that is often not found in your daily life. Here is a link to find a group in your area http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Good luck,
S.

Hi M.... (love your name!)
You've got some great advise here. Let me first say I am so happy to see that bfing is so important to you. It drives me nuts when people don't 'get it'! Second, it sounds like you tried and he just wants a bottle nipple... that doesn't mean that you failed or that he is not/will not closely bond with you. Imagaine eating soup with a baby's spoon, knowing that there are big spoons just over in the kitchen! Our breasts will only go so fast and it's not fast enough for your little man! I really want to encourage you to keep pumping, although I am afraid to tell you that I doubt 2 times a day will be sufficent! You will most likely lose your supply. Try to pump, really, as often as you can, every 4 hours would probably be the best...
Side note... someone mentioned the 6 month recomendation as the minimum... true. But did you know that the World Health Organizatioin recommends 2 years of breastmilk! The US being one of the only ones that only recommends 1 year. Our poor boobies!! hahaha...

M.,

Good for you for searching for solutions, and for making breastmild the priority for your baby. His little body/brain will be thanking you years from now!!

Nursing in a dark room when he's sleepy is a good suggestion, as is starting a nursing session BEFORE he's starving-hungry. That way he's more patient as he waits for your milk to let down. You may even try getting a pump on one side, and wait until your milk starts flowing, and then put him to the breast...so he gets he idea that milk is going to come!

Two resources I highly recommend: www.kellymom.com, and www.askdrsears.com Both have tons of advice for nursing moms. You can do this; your body was made to do it, so just be a little patient with yourself and your baby :)

It's like I'm reading my own story. My daughter and I also "battled it out" with breasfeeding. She did not latch well and it was stressful to breastfeed. She was not getting enough so I started to pump (8 times a day at that point). That way I was able to provide her with the breast milk which I thought was so important but also a stress free bonding experience through bottle feeding. I would also supplement with formula occassionally if I did not make enogh which also dramatically took the pressure off me. I did this til she was 6 months old (the minimum standard for breastfeeding according to the AAP). At 3 months she bagan sleeping through the night, 12 hours at a time, and still continues doing so. Today she is a happy, healthy little girl who has not only bonded with me but also with her father (the other nice thing about bottle feeding.) I'm so glad that I made this adjustment. Hope this helps.

K.

Put you and him in a dark room with no distractions. I had to stop breast feeding my son at 7 mos cuz he got the bottle (with breast milk) when i was working or we were out and about and the breast when we were at home. He realized at 7 mos he could multi task with the bottle (i.e., look around at his surroundings) and he couldn't with the breast. The first tme he tried to look around while latched on to my breast (he also had 7 teeth!) was the time I decided to give up breast feeding!

Struggle thru the next month or so, before you go to work, at bedtime and nap time if you can, and he will start to settle into the routine. Breast feeding is a wonderful bonding time and settles everyone down, but if it doesn't work, you can do the same with the bottle.

Summarized: try it for a few weeks longer, in an area where he and you aren't distracted, and see how it goes.

I had lots of breastfeeding issues... different from yours so I won't go into it... but I do know how heartbreaking it feels when it just doesn't go like the books say it will. I just will say I pumped and gave my daughter bottles with breastmilk almost exclusively for her first six months. My son did better on the breast, but also ended up with his share of pumped milk ... and both were supplemented with formula when needed and they didn't seem to notice the difference. They are six and seven now and one thing I can say looking back is that I wish I hadn't spent so much time stressing out it! Good luck, whatever you decide.

If it's a stuggle and he doesn't want it don't stress. Pump and give that to him in a bottle. I had latching issues with my first 2 so I pumped for a year with both cause breatmilk is the best. Also stress will decrease your milk production. Now with my 3rd, he won't take a bottle so ever baby is so differant. Hope this helps.

I breastfed my oldest for the 1st 9 mths of her life and am currently still breastfeeding my 2nd who is 6 1/2 mths old.
I would recommend massaging your breasts so that you are relaxed and let down happens more quickly as to satisfy your son more quickly. You just massage the top of your breast at the creases towards your armpits where you feel your let down. If you are more relaxed going into the feeding the let down will not take so long. Try different positions, try not to be anxious when attempting to feed your son and try not wait til he is starving to feed him. You could let him feed when it's not feeding time for him to get used to the breast again...kind of like a suckle snack...most babies will not complain ;) I say if you try everything and it just is not working then pumping and formula mix is sufficient and at this point if breastfeeding just is not working then formula is sufficient too. Don't beat yourself up about it; it either works out or it doesn't you can't say you didn't try, right! ;p Good luck!

I know that alot of people are pushing breastfeeding. I only breastfed for 10 weeks and my son has a great immune system. He is 3 now and I only remember him getting sick about once a year. If you can pump then that is great but there is nothing wrong with formula feeding. Don't let people put you down if you don't breastfeed. Food is food. As long as your baby eats then you are good to go. Good luck!

M.

My twins were premature and I did not get the chance to begin breastfeeding them like normal people do. I instead pummped every 2-4 hours in the beginning just as if I were feeding them. Once they came home from the hospital, they were so used to the bottle that attempting to breastfeed was too stressful on everyone. So, I continued to pump and they continued to eat from bottles. It worked out fine. They still received the vitimans from breastmilk and have very healthy immune systems. This is just an idea. I know some people love to breast feed but if it makes for a bad situation, is it really worth it when you can pump and everyone is happy? Just an idea. Have a great day.

I would try pumping and feeding him from a bottle, then offer him the breast and let him get used to it. Feed him as much as you can from the breast. And get the nipples that are slow, so they don't get too much milk too fast, without having to work for it. I love the NUK brand. I have a 5 month old daughter and I returned to work when she was 8 weeks old and for the first few weeks it was different feeding her too. But she got used to it and has adjusted just fine. Make sure your relaxed and comfortable when you feed him and talk to him, tell him you love him and be happy. That will help with the flow of your milk too. I hope this helps you!

Could it be what you are eating? Just a guess. I recommend the Eat Right for Your Type book.
I think any breast milk you can offer will be supportive.
Are you able to make sure you are taking care of yourself and have time to yourself? I know they can react to tension.
I am sorry this is so challenging. I hope you find the right solution soon.
Sometimes life just takes us in a completely different direction than our vision and our best choice is to surrender. This may be one of those times.

I feel your pain! My little girl, at around 4 months old, began to get so distracted and/or disinterested during/with feedings. It became frustrating for everyone! To make it easier on us all, I decided to pump twice a day - once in the morning and once at night - and move her to only bottles. I did that for a month before I completely weaned. It was a bittersweet decision, but made us all happier in the end.

Good luck!

M.,

I know how important it is to some mothers to breastfeed. But don't let yourself feel like you're failing your baby if you cannot do it anymore. He got the most important part, which was those first few days of breastfeeding. He will be just fine and will thrive on formula, just like others do on breastmilk. If you have to switch to formula, it's okay. It will not be detrimental to your baby. I had difficult breastfeeding and only made it the first few days. My son has developed perfectly normal and does have a very tough immune system, despite not being fed breastmilk. Do what is best for your little guy, so he gets the nutrients he needs, whether it be breastmilk or formula. Good luck, and please remember that formula feeding does not mean that you have failed or are not doing the best for your son.

K.

I had to deal with the same thing. My daughter was a big baby and impatient. While I did stay home and could breast feed her all the time, there were times, especially at night, where she didn't want to take the time to breast feed and would latch, suck a minute, unlatch and scream. My dr. recommended pumping and using a bottle. We did do that and things worked better. It broke my heart not to breast feed, but she was happier and that was all that mattered. But then I couldn't keep up with my milk supply. I didn't have as much as I needed. I tried a lot of different things to produce more (Fenugreek,massage, pumping every two hrs!!) and wound up having to do a 1/2 and 1/2 with formula. She still got breast milk but it certainly wasn't easy to do. Good luck and remember to do what keeps you sane as well, because you need to be calm and happy FOR your child.

I know how stressful this can be! I had to start supplementing at 4 months also. I used half goat milk with the other half breastmilk. This worked wonderfully when it was needed. I would suggest just keep pumping as long as you can. If he stops taking it completly, you can still put it in the bottle. Remember that you can freeze bm for a few months so do that if you get to the point of getting more than he will take with the supplements. If you can make it to 6 months thats fantastic! Up to 6 months provides the MOST important part of bm where the antibodies are concerned. After that, it is still certainly the best milk but not as crucial as the first part. If you need to increase your supply for the pumping, etc... I've heard great success with drinking a beer and cabbage leaves on the breast.