Issue at babysitters..would U Say Something?

Just say "Oh yeah, did you notice the scratch marks on his side?" and see what she says. Unless they are severe, they are most likely the result of normal interaction.

My previous provider would actually tell me about those things before I saw them because she didn't want there to be any misunderstanding.

Hi, A.:
Just ask her if she would like for you to tell her if you notice any marks on the baby.

And suggest that if she she's any marks on the baby that weren't there the day before, to let you know she has noticed them.

That can lead into the question on what caused the mark on the baby's stomach.
Good luck.
Thanks for asking.
D.

I have a home daycare, so I strongly recommend communication! If this is something you feel the need to ask about, then do so. Please do it nicely, there is no way of knowing for sure if she accidently scratched him, he scratched himself or it was another child. Remember, he is a growing baby and starting to roll around, crawl and will soon be walking. As he gets more mobile, there will be LOTS of scratches, bumps, bruises and marks, most will be unexplainable and just a normal part of being a child. I would be more concerned in the coming months if he didn't have any of these!

I'm with you A.. I had my son in a daycare and I HATED it. Stay where you are comfortable and happy. @Theresa N. no matter the rules and regulation, there is always going to be children sharing toys that they just were chewing on. That you can't stop no matter the laws.
The tv thing I don't like at my current at home daycare, but it's for the older kids who watch for a few minutes before they start their lessons on the ABC's and manners. So I'm over that.
Have you looked into in home daycares? I was very unsure about them, till my friend mentioned her mom's and now I'm a total convert. I much prefer the house setting to the nasty center where your child comes home smelling of the nasty cleaners and air freshner. I think that was the thing I hated most, was the smell that was on my son. Ugh!

I think if it really bothers you then just ask her. "oh by the way, I noticed he has 2 small scratches on his belly. Do you know what happened?". Accidents happen and it was probably nothing. Just be matter of fact about it. As far as sending him to daycare, I tend to agree with you. He is probably much better cared for at your sitters. I would keep him where he is until he is 3-4 and would better benefit from a nursery/preschool program.

It seems like you've had ongoing concerns about this babysitter based on previous questions, so I think that alot of things are going to bother you if you don't feel comfortable with her overall. I absolutely love the person who cares for my kids, so I have no problem asking what happened if I notice something and she is normally the first to say something to me. I think the bigger issue if whether this is the person best to take care of your child, b/c I find that if you're not comfortable you're going to look for things and maybe nit pick a little more than someone who is very comfortable. She probably just mistakenly scratched him, but if you say something just do it in a matter of fact way like "did you notice the scratches on his stomach, I was wondering if something happened?"

And regarding the daycare center, I don't think anyone can say what is better, I think it all depends on the person you have or the daycare center you go to. My caretaker is a SAHM and has been watching my son for 4 1/2 years and is now watching my 9-month old daughter and when I tell you that I have NEVER had one issue or reason for concern in all that time I'm being honest. But if I didn't have someone I trusted so much, I may consider a very respected daycare if I had to. So, I think the most important thing is not how he got the scratch, but whether this is the best person to take care of your son for you. Everyone is different, but if you don't feel comfortable with the person caring for your child, I think that adds alot of stress that you don't need. Just my two cents...

I would mention it - it may have been an accident or may have been something your baby did to him/herself. At least bring it to her attention. And check your baby's nails! If they are long, that might be the culprit!

r.

This is in your response to "What happened"

Many parents mistakenly think a one on one caregiver is optimal... I beg to differ. When it's just one adult and one child, the adult can be burned out because there is NO time, not even for the bathroom, to be alone without a child underfoot. With at least one similarly aged playmate - the two children play together most of the time and caregiver is able to supervise, make meals without interruption, etc. This is after 18 months... before 18 months, it's good for one on one but with playdates with other adults and kids... let the caregiver get out of the house and socialize too. You will have a happier caregiver. I should know, I was a professional Nanny and always brought my own child.

Oh A.! It this the same babysitter who leaves the baby on the floor in front of the TV and lets him chew on toys that the other kid's been chewing on?!

Like I said last time, I think you'd be more satisfied with a daycare setting than a relaxed Grandma type.

It's unlikely she realizes she scratched the baby a littlw while changing his diaper, especially if like you say he's in a squirmy phase. I've scratched my OWN a number of times.

But it must be REALLY stressful for you to leave him with someone you're not sure about! It's OK to prefer a daycare setting! You gotta do what gives YOU peace.

I really don't see any point in mentioning it to her.
In fact, I'm sure she ALREADY knows you are not entirely happy with her! She may just surprise YOU one day and say 'I don't think it's working out'.

:)

Added** I'm sorry, I didn't want to freak you out even MORE! But registered daycare centers are much more formal, accountable, STERILE, there are LAWS they have to follow regarding the issues you've asked about here. Really, I WISH you could just be HOME with him, is that what you'd like? Is it because you WANT to have your career or for finances? If it's just about money, you'd be AMAZED how things work themselves out. You could babysit for a little extra cash, too! I'm sorry you gotta leave the little man, that sucks!! :)

Added again! Sigh, I'm sorry, I do not seem to be able to make myself understood this morning. I've got 3 kids, they haave never even had a babysitter at home, I quit my job to AVOID having to send them to ANY kind of care whatsoever, so I personally CANNOT imagine leaving my baby in a daycare center. But I've known many CHILDREN (even infants) who do very well at daycare and the issues you are experiencing are MUCH less likely to happen there, you know? In fact my kids are 18, 16, and 13 now, and I am STILL a SAHM. It just seems to me you're doing something that is not comfortable for YOU (not ME)! :(

Mention it, but don't be harsh. It could have been a total accident and something you yourself could easily do as well.

Okay, I'll correct you, no, you're not right. Home care givers regulations, if they have a license, are much more lax than an actual child care center. Centers have strict regulations they must follow. They sanitize the toys daily, they clean the shelves and all the books, everything is sanitized. They have other staff that helps and gives them breaks, they have a director that should be there to help too. They have staff ratio's, for infants should be 4 infants per teacher. They don't watch TV all day or lay around on the floor for hours on end. They have curriculum activities and a regular daily schedule. They do something with the kids all day. Tummy time is part of that day too though.

Teachers in child care have to do a minimum of 20 hours per year of professional training to keep their jobs. They have to meet minimum qualifications on background checks.

I am not that worried about kids getting germs from other kids, they need those germs and illnesses to build effective immune systems. I think if you are focused on germs so much then perhaps you need to think about what you can do to work through that. Yes, it is okay to try and keep our kids from getting the flu and other serious virus' but if it is the main focus of our day it is too much worry.

It's not my issue if people take their kids to home situations or center care, my issue is that you continually refer to centers as dirty. I would ask that you decide that they can be clean, cleaner than someones home since they are sanitized daily. My house is lucky to be deep down clean every now and then.

First check your little one's fingernails. My guys grew fast and sharp and he scratched himself sometimes. Then mention it to her nicely. Some babies have sensitive skin also and the littlest scratch shows up.

I do not recommend daycare facilities. I used to work for one and hated it and not because of the kids. I love kids...it was the workers. They are not as clean as most people think. I think it was probably just an accident as I have scratched my children while changing their diapers with my rings or my fingernails. I would bring it up and say I noticed these scratch marks. She may not even know she has done it. Bringing it to her attention may make her more aware while changing him. Good Luck.

Say something right away!!! You don't have to be mean about it. But with my kids I notice something and I mention it right away. it was probably an accident but the sitter needs to know that you are an observant Mom and keeping a watchful eye on your baby. Keeps 'em on their toes.

I would ask her if she keeps her nails filed/painted, or short? If they are painted and shortish, they shouldn't be too sharp. But since I hate painting my nails, I keep mine lopped off completely. Sometimes they get longer again before I realize it.

However, in 24 years of daycare and struggling with MANY kids during diaper changes, I don't remember scratching anyone. I would just ask her if he's fighting her during changes and if she would make sure to keep her nails short.

Bring it up. She may not be aware (especially if she has acryllic nails, might not be feeling it) that she is scratching him. Or it may be something else causing it and she can let you know.

I would ask her if he tried to roll away lol but another thing that could cause that is that 9 month olds are now crawling and pulling them selves up on things. he may be getting scratched on the zipper of his clothing or a toy.

you could casually bring it up and ask. Ask in a non defensive tone. I am sure it was not on purpose.

well i did not look to see if you have had other issues with this sitter. However this particular incident, when i noticed it i would have called her and asked, hey do you know what happened to his belly? And left it at that. My son also goes to an in home sitter and if he has a scratch or a bump or a bruise...my sitter always explains whether it be because another child hit him with a toy or he fell or whatever. But they are not serious enough to be concerned unless it is an everyday occurence! My sitter doesn't lay around all day or watch tv...tv in her house is a treat...and it is usually a musical video or a learning video! My son was potty trained by the time he was 3 with the help of my sitter. She also does projects with them, painting, coloring, alphabet, counting etc..etc...It is more one on one at my sitters and less germs! Good luck with everything