Is This Wedding Possible?

Even if you're pre-approved you still have to make an offer, get the offer accepted, get an inspection, do final paperwork, then wait for the deal to close.. this is not a fast process so you might not even be in the house by then. You can definitely plan a wedding in that amount of time, you just may be doing it in someone else's backyard. Good luck!

My understanding - which I could be wrong - is b/c of all the bank problems and the economy, closings could take a couple of months.

Good luck with everything and congrats!

V.:

The question is why do you have to rush? Why are all these restrictions/guidelines in place? What have YOU done to see if you can afford it?
Have you called the court house?
have you called ANYONE to see if they are available to perform the wedding?
I don't know how many other mom's live in MN - so you are asking people who don't live in your county for information we don't necessary have - we are guessing here. Anything is possible. But we can't do it for you.
What is Justin doing to make this happen?
How is HE participating in this planning?

When last you asked - you wanted a house you clearly could not afford.
Do you even have the down payment for the house? 10 to 20% - that's typical. You didn't mention having the down payment then. You listed bills and assumed you would qualify for EBT. Is this still the same? Or has something changed?

Here are the marriage requirements for a marriage license in Chisago County, MN - http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/minnesota/...

The license is $40 and the fee if you don't have (which I STRONGLY SUGGEST you take) the premarital counseling is $115 - and that's a mandatory 12 hours. The judge's fees for a court house marriage is $150 and to go to a church, backyard, etc. is $250 to be paid directly to the judge. There is a MANDATORY five day waiting period to obtain your license as well. This means on Monday you go in and apply - showing proof of 12 hours of marriage counseling by an approved clergy - then on Friday - you go back and pick it up. I don't know how much the clergy charges for premarital counseling - that could be $250 - I know when I married my first husband - that was 1989 - it was $200.

So assuming court house wedding and no pre-marital classes that will be $305 - leaving you $695 for a honeymoon and "party".

For a Honeymoon? http://www.riverpointresort.com/romance.htm - the minute you say "honeymoon" they jack up the price. So when calling to inquire - say "weekend getaway".

Closing? Girl - you haven't even looked at the house yet. You've only seen it on-line. You haven't even had an inspection done and you don't even know if WHAT you qualify or approved for. You are putting the cart before the horse. Go back and look and really read EVERYONE'S input to your question about what questions to ask when buying a home. Even see the post today about the costs of home ownership? With Justin being 32 years old - he should know some of this stuff by now.

People have told you to rent an apartment before buying a home. This is a HUGE commitment. Not just the marriage. But home ownership has its down-side too - repairs, upgrades, furniture, paint, etc. Do you have THAT money set aside?

As to closing - just because you are approved, doesn't mean you will get to buy the house. There is so much more that goes into buying a home than being approved for a loan amount.

TALK to your real estate agent. yes, they are in this for the money - but they don't want to waste their time showing you a property if you have not been pre-approved and know what to expect next....

Bob and I got married in 1997. We married in Boston (Worcester) Mass. There were 40 people at our wedding - including the a-cappella group - we served chicken or steak, potatoes and lobster tails. We paid for the rooms and way for my parents and best friend...our wedding and honeymoon cost us $12,000. We went to St. Lucia for the honey moon. This included tux rentals, gown, bridesmaids dresses, cake, invites, etc. Could we have done it for less? Yes. Did we want to? No. But we were older and wiser from our first marriages.

It would have been LOVELY if you had been at my doctor's appointment Monday morning when I got to speak to a W. who fell under the spell of an older man - she was 17 - he was 30....ahhhh the things he did for and said to her...ahhh no one would understand her the way he did....she married him at 19 - he was 32...she had a baby shortly after. they moved into together - bought a home...had another baby....then he started telling her how to dress - now that he had convinced her to finish school...and go to college - all of which he paid for (he was a working man - made good money had already gone to college), then when she "grew up" - cause remember they couldn't go to a bar together - she wasn't 21. So it wasn't legal for her to drink....ooh honey - baby - that's okay - we'll have a party here at the house...then he started telling her how to dress, where she could go - all under the guise of "only trying to make her a better W." - she stayed married to him for 17 years. She divorced him...she saw EVERYTHING she missed out on - she doesn't regret her children - but she regrets falling under his spell. I could tell you more - but I know you are saying "that's not Justin. You don't know him." You're right. I don't. I hope that he's not like all the other men out there that prey on young girls....just wait until you start to rebel and grow...that will be interesting...

I guess my response is:

Why are you setting up arbitrary restrictions on yourselves?

Why all the rush rush rush?

Why does a man refuse to get married unless you can buy a house FIRST? That really has my relationship radar flashing. You rushing to buy a house and get into marriage and him trying to slow things down makes me go hmmmm.

If you can't afford to get married then how are you going to afford a house? $1K for even a backyard wedding is a bit unrealistic when you have to consider catering, tents, wine, a wedding dress, suit/tuxedo, shoes, hair, photographer, entertainment/DJ, decorations, party favors, dinnerware (even paper plates cost a bit if you get the ones that don't get soggy), etc, etc. If you plan on having guests then a wedding will cost you.

Why can't you rent an apartment during the early years of your marriage and save up to buy a house? Why do you HAVE to buy a house right away?

You're putting the cart before the horse.
Marriage first.
Go to the court house and get hitched already.
Then buy the house.
Then have your wedding reception/house warming.

Most couples do not have a house before they get married.
We didn't and neither did my parents.
My Mom passed down to me a decorative plate which reads "God bless this lousy apartment" that she was given when she got married.
I'll give it to my son when he gets married and starts out in an apartment.
It's a time honored tradition.

Are you talking about the same house you already established you can't afford?

What does your fiancé say about all this? I feel like you should be asking him instead of us, since, it's his wedding too...

Even having a courthouse wedding costs something, and you have to schedule it, so even if an actual wedding-wedding falls through, you won't be able to wait until the last second to plan the courthouse wedding. Unless you live way out in the sticks, dockets are full months out.

Check out my post on the cost of upkeep with a house. I saw your post about buying a house and it amazes me you're looking to buy a house and spend $1k on a wedding when you need financial assistance. That doesn't strike you as wrong? Regardless, don't be so anxious to buy a house!! They're a lot of work and cost a lot of money. I don't mean to be obnxious but I'm in a way way way better financial situation and the cost of home ownership amazes me. We can afford it all fine but it's annoying and if we couldn't easily afford it, it'd be so stressful and not fun at all. People with a lot higher incomes and way more money in the bank than you guys get married without owning a house.

From your last post - you were asking about a home you could not afford. You wanted to make up the difference with food stamps. Has that changed? If not. The answer is no. It's not possible.

I saw that he asked you and you asked him back. Congratulations.

You appear to have unrealistic expectations. Like your head is in the clouds.
It took us 3 months to close on our home - that was including the offer, counter offer and acceptance to home inspection, deficiency repairs and closing at the table. And we have near-perfect credit!!

Even with my DD214 (A VA loan) we had $12,500 down payment. We also had another $25,000 set aside for things WE wanted to do the house to make it a home. Buying furniture, painting, landscaping, dishes, and more. Do you have that? If not. How are you going to sleep? What are you going to sleep on? You are both living with your parents - so what do you have in way of furniture? We also paid $450 for a cleaning service to come in and clean it all. We had hardwoods installed as well. That's why we had $25,000.

Understand as a dad to 3 girls - I dread the day they find "Mr. Right". Unfortunately, I don't feel that you have found "Mr. Right". Not what you want to hear. I have so many red flags about this relationship. I hope I'm wrong.

If you don't have the 10% down payment. And you have these arbitrary dates - clauses - restrictions on what you can do or how it is going to happen. I don't get WHY you HAVE to own a home. Why not rent an apartment and get used to each other?

I see below that someone did some research to tell you how much it would cost to get married in your county. Did you know any of this?

What is your fiance doing in all of this?
Does he realize what is involved in purchasing a home? Or does he have you do all the heavy lifting?

Unless things have changed since your what questions to ask and your list of bills - no. You and your fiance have a lot of talking to do. Go to a financial planner and get help. Find a pre-marital class so you can get your head out of the clouds (don't stop dreaming) and on solid ground.

My first thought is that you can't count on a house closing escrow until literally you have the keys in your hand and its a done deal. It honestly could fall thru any time. So planning a home purchase and a wedding so close and *assuming* you will have the house, well, that's counting your chickens before they hatch, in my opinion. So honestly, I would try to get the house first and then plan the wedding after you know for SURE you have the house. And you could easily do a nice wedding at home for 1k or less. My husband and I had a destination wedding over 4 days and it only cost us about $2800 and that included everything for the 5 of us. Google "budget weddings" and lots of ideas come up. Good luck.

A marriage should not be built nor revolve on whether or not there is a house. You either want to be married or not. As others have mentioned, closing on a house is a very long and complicated process. It is also very expensive, as there are hidden costs and processessing fees when buying a home...even with a pre-approval.

Realistically, if you don't have at least 6-7 thousand dollars liquid cash in your bank account for the closing cost of the house alone (this is a conservative guess as we don't know what the mortgage is going to be etc. It could be more than this) you will not be able to both have a wedding and buy a house.

If I were you, I'd get married first, then worry about buying a house later if that is ultimately what you want. Even if you were to get approved for this house next week, it could be months before you could move in depending on unforseen factors. Then is this place move-in ready? Do you have the basic necessities for when you move in? And if not, where will the money come from for this? If you have a small wedding, chances are slim that you'll get enough gifts and money to furnish your home with the basics.

Everytime I've moved, I've needed quite a bit money for incidentals, like paper plates, food/dry goods, toiletries, and any furniture or basic items like beds and/or bedding, chairs and a table, cooking utensils, pots, pans, and maybe dishes for the first weeks in your new home before every thing is unpacked. Things like bathroom rugs, towels, cleaning supplies, and curtains/drapes/shades are really important and add up. Don't forget landscaping items such as lawn mower, snowblower, shovels, sprinklers, rakes, trimmers. You will need these right away to keep the property looking good and safe (if it's winter) on the outside, that is, if you don't have a service and if you want to be a good neighbor.

If you plan on having a wedding at the home right away, will it be up and running well enough to host people? Even for a simple cookout? Will you have chairs, seating, shelter if the weather is bad and so on?

I say keep it simple and manageable. Go get married at a chapel or church. Then get the house. Mixing the two is going to be too stressful and in the end complicate things too much financially. If you sit down and do the math, you'll find you'll be better off and further ahead financially going to the Virgin Islands or Vegas for a quick wedding and honeymoon, than doing the down home wedding that is all dependent on whether or not you get a house.

Doing a weekend get away, you'll only have to worry about your license, transportation and one or two nights at a hotel. There are so many cheap wedding packages you could have a nice wedding, cheap and fast (definitely under $1,000). The other way, you have to worry about food, and entertaining, and possibly fixing up the house and/or yard so you can host a party...which adds up fast.

Seriously, I think you two need to go price shopping for everything you'll need in the coming months from filling a house with furniture to downpayments, to utilities, to gas, to medical, wedding costs etc. If necessary go to a finance counselor...someone who understands money and expenses to help you budget. It sounds like your fiance doesn't have business sense. No insult meant. But really he should know this is probably a bad, cart before the horse move if money is tight.

From what you share, I think you both would be better off eloping and then renting an apartment and saving your money up for a couple of years. There is nothing more stressful or a more surefire way to wind up divorced than to burden a marriage from day one with crushing debt.

Remember, if you can't keep the payments up on this house and lose it, you will probably never get into another house again in this current financial climate. Excellent credit is at a premimum, and no one gets second chances where mortgages are concerned anymore.

Furthermore, it sounds like you don't talk to each other about the sort of things that are important for a healthy, productive marriage. There's too much focus on houses and wedding details and not enough talk about finances, and future goals and how to get there.

Besides a finance counselor, find a marriage counselor or pastor for pre-marriage preparation. They too can help you wisely navigate these sorts of concerns and questions and facilitate healthy adult conversations about life goals. This is so important if you want to start your lives off in the right direction. Just remember, because you both WANT something, doesn't mean it is a good thing, or the best thing for you. You two need to talk and now about the reality of what you can and can not have....not spin your wheels about what you WANT.

Good luck.

I agree with ❄J€§§¡¢aW€§§¡¢a❄ 's answer/questions/reservations.

That being said, if you're going to go this way, I really recommend picking up a used copy, or borrowing a library copy, of this:
Bridal Bargains Wedding Planner, by Denise Fields

It was immensely helpful to us in keeping the costs down.

And for general all-around thriftiness & frugality:
The Tightwad Gazette, by Amy Daczyn (I might not have spelled her name quite right)

I think the key to not going crazy/getting hyper stressed is to keep the wedding low key. Have a semi-potluck (have family chip in covered dishes, pop, etc.), and have it at a state park--you can rent a shelter, and have a couple of volunteers grill burgers/hot dogs. You don't have to do a super fancy dress--start combing the thrift stores now for something that would suit, or borrow a dress.

yes it can be done but you will have to do alot of the work.

My husband and I were married after 3 months of deciding to do it. I got my dress at a huge discount ( $50) and we cooked all of the food ourselves.. nothing fancy but it was very good. We spent $200 on all the food for 100 guests. We got our decorations used ($25 for the table covers, chair covers, fish bowl center pieces, the rocks and new candles to go in the fish bowl, the flower garland and white lights), but very pretty none the less. We booked the reception hall and the game room for $100. The DJ was $400. The kegs ( they brought their own booze) and pop for $100. I spent $20 for flowers for my bouquet and the flower girls flowers and put them together myself.

If your doing it in your back yard you can save money and the decorations don't have to be real fancy but can still be nice and pretty.

I really have no idea because I don't live by you, I don't know anything about your finances......ya know?

I know around here it would be no way on either project. Just an official for your wedding would cost between 600 and 1,000. First time home buyers can expect two months to close, up to six if your credit doesn't have a halo around it.

Instead of asking us start calling around. The only way you will know what is possible is to ask the people that make it possible.

Yes, I think it is totally possible. We had a backyard wedding and it was the best! Most friends in Alaska had small weddings that were potlucks...very old fashioned and sweet. Almost all of my friends paid very very little for their weddings. We had our wedding at our cabin and our friend married us (everyone is allowed to marry one couple in Alaska). We did not have a potluck but a lot of friends helped cook the day before. We made the food ourselves and rented tables, chairs and dishes. We had a buffet line for people to serve themselves. We did order a really yummy cake from a fancy bakery. I did not wear an expensive dress. All our best friends and family were there and it was a day filled with love. We have friends who play music and they were our band (sort of alternative bluegrass singer-songwriter style)and we all danced and friends all made toasts to us. We spent a lot less than $1000, but again the culture in Fairbanks is for everyone to pitch in and not have a big fancy wedding. It's crazy to start off your life with someone in debt from a wedding anyway!

I dont mean to burst your bubble but after reading your post the last couple of months you don't sound mature enough to make either decision (marriage or home) and I'm not talking about your age just the dream land questions of "what if" on everything.... I would encourage you to just take things slow and make only one major life decision at a time. You have a life time of decisions to make so take them slow and dont rush into them....
I wish you the best

Sure...just keep it very simple.
Kudos to you for not letting the wedding run the show.
After all, it's about the marriage and a lifetime together.

Marriage license, simple food or punch & hors d' oeuvres, down payment.....

It CAN be done.

I think it's foolish to spend thousands on a wedding--you've got the right idea!

Do you mean that you are going to "SEE IF you could get preapproved"?

Anything is possible with all that is on your plate BUT you need to make good choices so that nothing comes back to bite you, cause it will hurt!!!!

I don't see why not, as long as you go into knowing that all you waking hours will go into both these projects! It will be stressful at times but if this is what you want, go for it! Congrats!

Yes, a wedding does not need to cost anything. I swear!

I have thrown a wedding in less than 24 hours and only bought powdered sugar for the frosting on the cake, it was a 3 tiered cake with beautiful roses.

Consider taking a cake decorating class at a local vo-tech or finding someone at a local church that loves to decorate cakes, they may teach you for free.

You can go buy a handful of flowers at Walmart for less than $10. You can find the perfect dress by any means necessary. Consignment stores are often handy, they sell wedding dresses for pennies on the dollar. You don't have to wear while it you don't want to. Some people even wear jeans and cowboy boots.

If you want the full wedding dress and veil then consider asking someone to allow you to borrow their dress, ask a family relative if they'd consider making you something simple if there is one that sews. Look at thrift stores and resale shops. Often there are dresses that can supply you with yards of fabrics that you can take and make into something else or you can have it cleaned and then wear it like it is.

Dresses for the bridesmaids is easy, tell them a color and then have a girls night at one of their houses. Let them show their dresses they may already have and pick what they can wear. Like one of them can wear the floral dress that looks so cute on her then the other one can wear that pink dress because it matches the flowers in the floral one so exactly. If they don't match well or look hideous...well, there is always the option of asking them to pay for the dresses themselves but you don't want them looking better than you.

For my friend that got married in less than 24 hours, she didn't tell anyone they could not afford a reception, they just told everyone they were heading out of town to get to their honeymoon destination. I arranged with my FIL to make the cake and he decorated it. That was about 7 pm and the wedding was at 10am the next morning. So if I can do it in less than 24 so can you.

Another friend had a daughter that was 16 or 17. Her boyfriend was in the navy and had just received new orders to go to the NE, maybe somewhere in Virginia. They told her parents on Tuesday that she was going with him and living with him off base. They convinced her that he could get in trouble if they were not married and to not go. So the next day they came in saying they wanted to get married first but she was still going regardless. The mom and daughter went that day and ordered her a wedding gown, it was tea length in white, very simple and just a few hundred dollars. It came in on Friday afternoon. Oh yes, they told his parents on Friday evening they had a wedding to come to on Saturday afternoon. Yes, the pooh hit the fan. They got married in the brides parents living room with about 20 people present.

The groom went to Hobby Lobby and bought a floral bridal instruction book and some flowers he liked and he say each evening that week and made the flowers, even her bouquet. They were beautiful. She wore my veil, her dress, her Easter shoes, and carried a floral arrangement made from flowers from Hobby Lobby. Her sister was her bridesmaid and wore her Easter dress and carried a small bouquet of lovely flowers on a lace fan. She wore a hair comb of flowers on one side of her hair.

The kids wore appropriate clothes that coordinated. The boy wore church pants and a white shirt. He dropped the rind during the ceremony and it went down the heater vent. The little flower girl just wore the cutest dress she had.

The bride danced on her fathers feet one last time and they had a beautiful loving ceremony.

A wedding does not have to cost anything. All it has to have is a legal person to officiate, a bride, a groom, a witness, and some love and fun. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and life together with this man.

Of course it is possible! But I like your original idea of the courthouse wedding and a reception at your house the next year.

You are combining three very stressful events into a very small time period. A wedding, the purchase of a new house (anything and everything could go wrong with the house and blow your budget) and MARRIAGE. All of these things can be very taxing on your relationship and finances. Think of all of the things these events involve that could trigger a fight with your fiance: moving, shopping, DIY home improvements, in-laws, budget planning, etc.

I definitely think it is all possible as long as you are an organized planner. As soon as you close on that house, you should set the date and send out save-the-date cards or invitations. Whether you have your wedding/reception this year or next year, I'm sure you'll all have a lot of fun. Good luck to you!

Yes that is totally possible if everything falls into place as you have it planned. Problem is it doesn't always. Take one thing at a time so you don't stress yourself out. First go to the bank and get preapproved and set up a showing on the house. If you still feel the same about the house and the preapproval goes through make the offer. Depending on the motivation of the sellers things could move fast from there. I don't know your area but around here you can get an appraisal within a month and then the bank is usually ready to set a closing within another month. I am pretty sure from offer to move in was 2 months for me but that was because the sellers were ready to move out then too. As for the wedding....make a list with your fiance about what are the important traditions you want to continue or start at the wedding. With a budget of 1000 you will have to cut corners. My sisters and I all had weddings that we planned in 6 to 8 weeks for one reason or another (the last being my mother was sick with cancer) and all were on tight budgets. Narrow down where you need to spend more and where you can do with less such as .... photography may be a high price unless you have a friend that will cut you a deal. Bridesmaids dresses are expensive but if you buy prom dresses after prom they are discounted and noone knows the difference. A white prom dress could even be great for a wedding dress for an outdoor casual wedding. Fake flowers are cheaper than real and really easy to do yourself - unless you are going with a single rose or something simple. Food can be bought at wholesale clubs in bulk for cheaper. It can be a little expensive to rent chairs and tables so shop around if you can. I have been at outdoor weddings where they borrowed CDs from a bunch of people and had the kids running a sound system and it was good and cute too. It really depends on what is important to you and who you know and how much family/friend help you can get. Call in your favors. lol. Couple things to warn you about. Don't forget to plan for bad weather - even windy could spoil an outdoor event. You know almost anyone can be ordained as a minister these days so be careful that whoever marries you is legal. Good Luck!

I think you can do it, if you have your mind set on it, and the person you are potentially buying the house from, agrees to your terms. Just make sure that if you do buy the house, you put your closing date stipulations in the contract, and when they need to vacate by. That way you can be sure they will be out in time for you to move in when you need to. Congrats!!

I think you could easily do a backyard lunch time wedding for under $1000! But a honeymoon, probably not. Good luck on the house you're looking at! :)