Is This Tacky for Christmas Gift?

You'd be better off giving her a Visa gift card. That way she can use it anyway she sees fit. If she needs it for bills, voila! She can use the gift card. If she wants to do something more frivolous she can use it for shopping, dinner out or anything like that.

I think they don't expire or have hidden fees either. So if she doesn't use it for a long time, it will retain its value.

DO NOT buy practical household items or groceries. She may need them, but...1. She may feel embarrassed or insulted and think you're trying to tell her something about how she runs her house and/or expenses 2. She may have particular tastes...even in household products and not like what you choose for her to run her home or eat.

If you're really bent on stuff like that, a store gift card for Target or a local grocery store would be more tactful and less embarrassing for her.

M.:

You are sooo nice for wanting to do this...and while I get what you WANT to do - get her an AMEX or VISA gift card instead...

I personally would be kinda taken back if I received a gift like that for Christmas.

You can do a CARE package for her - BEFORE or AFTER Christmas...and she doesn't even know it came from you - you can put a box together and leave it on her doorstep when she's not home. Include coupons for things you know she uses. that will help her save money.

Go with the AMEX or Visa gift card. Then she can use it how she needs or wants to!!

I think in that situation, I'd actually have the children write her a note, do some art, or make a present for her, and then include a gift card or like, a Visa gift card where it's taken anywhere Visa is accepted but not stuck at any one store.
My dad is a terrible gift giver, and the best present I EVER received from him was in 1999 when he enclosed a Visa gift card. I was able to go to one store for a shirt (I needed a plain white button down shirt for something), got gas, was able to pick up some food one day, it came in handy for what I needed, but also spared me from having to hold my head up high when I was "poor", knowing people knew I was "poor". Ya know?

I'd do a Visa Gift card, or a card to a store where she can buy herself whatever she wants. Have the kids make her a card, and just say "treat yourself to something special.'

I would hate it if anyone bought me cleaning supplies that end up filling landfills.

Could you make a movie night gift basket or something...or like a themed dinner night or something. Do a basket that has some popcorn, candy, a soda or other drink, maybe some slippers, warm socks or pajama pants.

Or a book reader package with a bookstore gift card, a package of coffee or tea, maybe a mug, some snacks.

Harry and David have really good soup mixes, etc. that come packaged nicely and all you have to do is add water. You could get her that, some decorative bowls (maybe winter themed), some rolls, a dish towel or hot pad/trivet.

I do like the idea of a kid made gift too, maybe a photo collage or a picture frame or something with a gift card. You could have them help you make some cookies and then get a festive plate and give that to her with a gift card.

I guess it just depends on what you think she will use. If she's not using the bath stuff, make sure she'd use the food stuff (or whatever else you put in the basket) before you give it.

M.,

Your heart is so in the right place.

Doing the household products thing, though, isn't, IMHO, such a good idea though. Even though I know she knows you and loves you a lot, this idea might backfire on you a bit.

A lot of other folks here are suggesting a gift card for her to use wherever and however she wants. This is a great idea.

Happy Holidays!

E.

give her a gift card to somewhere that has a gas station and grocery store together. like walmart, or jewel etc.... if she has said she doesn't want stuff i would honor that. don't get her stuff. a previous poster suggested something the kids could make that would be cute to attach the gift card to.

My most treasured gift from last year was from my sister, she bought a brand new, largest plastic tote and filled it with stuff. Like flour for bread, homemade canned jars of tomato sauce, Applesauce, and Peach Jam. Hand Towels for the kitchen, wooden Spoons, Table ware, Tupperware, candles, a sham-wow (for a joke), cleaners that she knows I love, candy bars, and a Star Magazine (for all the sophisticated reading I do I have this weakness for Star) and I personal framed picture of Taylor Lautner with 4 what looked to be wolf nail scratches on the corner of the paper. Where she wrote in silver pen ink and pretended to sign his name, and wrote I am Howling for you .... the frame was a dog themed one and it made me laugh till I peed a little, since I HATE TWILIGHT stuff. Anyway I dont think your ide is cheesy or silly, If you know her well enough and you truly feel she wouldnt be offended by it, then by all means do your idea! Add some personal things of the kids like letters or pictures drawn that also is a great keepsake.

I think she would appreciate it. If she's not hiding the fact that she is struggling for money, and is open about it with you, then I think she'd be very grateful to have those things. You can never go wrong with a gift card, in my opinion.

Since your kids love her to death, by all means give her a gift. Explain to her that your kids need to be taught how to give and receive.

I can't say that your ideas for gifts are tacky so much as awkward. One of the things I like best is watching the face of the recipient. Unless you truly know this person well, her face may not convey what you hope.

I have given my SIL a gas card, but she drives 9 hours one way every year to have a family visit, and her hubby had been unemployed for over a year. I knew it would be used for the return trip.

Have you brainstormed with the kids? What would they like to give her? Could they make her something? Could they prepare some song or skit and perform it for her? Does she come to your holiday celebrations, and thereby gets a meal?

Could you take her for an outing with the family? Greenfield Village has holiday nights of carols, sleigh rides, etc., that are very popular. There's a sing-a-long at the Bethlehem Church the second Sat. of the month. Kerrytown is having their KindleFest the first Fri. of the month. The Nutcracker is at the Power Center the third weekend of the month. (Okay, so now all of you know what I'm doing this month!) There are a lot of other choices. Read the Observer or go to arborweb.com. Make sure she knows that the outing is a gift and that it is your treat.

Have a Merry Christmas.

I LOVE presents like that. And with a Hy-Vee or Wal-Mart card I can buy myself a steak dinner OR gas up my car if it hits E the night before payday... I LOVE the gift of CHOICE gift cards to places like that that sell EVERYTHING give. And the fact that no one knows whether I use it for a neccessity or a luxury!

In order to make it a little more interesting, I'd suggest doing some fun things that would seem a bit extravagent to someone that doesn't have alot of money. Like you could get things like those nifty dusters that come in the box and get thrown away. You could get her lycol wipes, sticky rollers for the couch, those throw away easy toilet cleaners, I'm thinking that some of these things make cleaning fast and fun. Throw in some of those new soaps that have soap on one side and the dryer sheets on the other so that you just throw one in per load.

This would be a BAD idea if you think that she is insecure about her house cleaning skills. She could take it the wrong way. I'd love something like this.

Does she buy you a gift? Maybe her telling you not to get her anything is her way of letting you know she feels bad she can't reciprocate and she really doesn't want anything. Baked goodies might be the best you can do?

If you are looking at a gift card, some places (Like Walmart and some grocery stores) have gas stations attached where the gift card can also be used. That way, she can choose to use it on necessities, or something for herself.

I hate STUFF. I'd rather have a gift card to Target or Amazon. If you got her a gift card to Target, she can buy clothes and food....anything she wants.

My SIL always get us something SHE wants, rather than getting us something WE want. My son asked for a GameStop gift card and she got him a MythBusters board game. WHAT? Why ask? He was SO disappointed.

You could help two people if you went to a local Christmas market and bought her handmade socks and a handmade hat. She lives in a cold climate right?

I think it's a great idea but I do think you need to 'personalize' (soften??) it by including something hand made form the kids... something as easy as cookies decorated byt he kids w/ a handmade card...

GREAT IDEA!! I hate junk...LOL I like the practical and I tend to give those as gifts also. Good luck!

No I think she'd appreciate that very much! It's a gift and not seen as a handout.

I love Cheryl O's answer, leave a Care package when she isnt home but do NOT give her a basket of household stuff. A gift card would be a great idea, coupled with home made ornaments and/or baked goods

If you do a gift card, really make it a personalized memorable gift by having the kids make a gift or great card just for her. She'll appreciate the gift card but will remember the handmade gift.

Let the boys make her something special, or get her a piece of jewelry she will like, maybe with a charm that says We love you grandma.

Gift basket sounds nice too with gift cards. After Christmas allot of things are on sale, and she will love getting out and doing some shopping. Just tell her what the gift card is for. She will love you for that. She knows what she needs, and maybe there is something she has been wanting for a long time, but did not have money.. this way you don't have to ask her what she wants.. She can save big and get out of the house a little after the Christmas rush is over.

I am planning on getting a bigger tree and maybe some fresh Christmas things for next year - when they go on sale. Who wants to pay $180 for a tree that will be marked half off or 75% off in a few weeks anyway...

Good luck

I would appreciate something like that! Its one more thing I wouldn't have to buy and its showing that they are actually thinking of stuff I would use rather than just tucked away some where for the sake of giving it.

You could add a couple of really nice smelling candles, a fruit basket with the gift cards also.

That is a very sweet idea :)

Why not have the kids make her a gift. You can also give a gift card too. I still have pictures that my youngest sister made me (she is 14 years younger). I always ask my family for gift cards, they come in handy through the year when I do need something.
I have also given supermarket gift cards. I figure everyone needs food. I also don’t think it is tacky to give a gift of something someone might need.

I think it's a great idea! Gift cards to a resturaunt she likes, or snack foods she likes. Gas cards, grocery store gift cards. ANd for a personal touch the cookies are a great idea!

I would have the kids make her a card, picture something personal then give her a gift card to somewhere like Target where she can buy clothes, cleaning supplies, toilet paper,personal items or whatever she needs. I would not like someone else choosing household items for me as I have my favorites.

Have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her that you want your children to continue their gift giving to help them learn that giving is so much better...she should be able to understand that concept.

They love her and just because she doesn't want more useless stuff doesn't mean they can't get her anything. If it is truly from them and not you pushing them to give her something. They could help pick it out for her too.

I wish someone would give me a basket like this. I could REALLY use it about right now.

If they go to her house and spend time I would consider a movie and popcorn basket. I hate popcorn but the kiddos love it, going to her house and watching a movie to spend time together is a good fun thing. What about a DVD player and a cash card for a movie place like Hastings or Walmart, where she can go pick out 3-4 movies that she would enjoy herself.

You can also do the gas card, a Walmart card, Hobby Lobby if she likes crafts or decorates with stuff from there, her favorite restaurant, all kinds of cards can be fun and they fit nicely in a check book box with a lovely letter from the kids about how special she is or a small gift that is cloth.