Is This Normal for Little Girls?

Updated on February 27, 2007
M.W. asks from Florida, NY
22 answers

My daughter, Sydney who will be 2 soon...rubs herself on her highchair, shopping carts - basically anything that she can create friction from. Anytime I've changed her diaper after her doing this, she is red down there. I have even seen her sort of hump and mount her stuffed animals. Is this normal? I feel weird even asking about this. I figured I'd ask her pediatrician when she goes for her 2 year check-up, but I've gotten a lot of good advice already from other people on mamasource. Is this NORMAL!? Are there any of you with little girls that have experienced this? If so, what do I do or how to I prevent her from doing it? I never yell at her. I've started to ignore it. I think if I call attention to it, she will do it even more. But, her father and I went grocery shopping this weekend and I'm so used to her doing it, I didn't notice that she was once again kind of grinding herself on the divider between the legs in the cart. He said people were staring. Do ALL little girls do this? It's a little embarrassing to even mention this. I'm actually hoping that others have little girls that did this same thing. It's certainly not due to anything on TV or otherwise. Oh, also - she's been doing this for several months now. If I had to guess, I'd say since...well, almost a year (maybe). I'm almost thinking twice about posting this. It's kind of weird. Any input or advice would be appreciated. Thanks everyone!

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for all of their responses. I took my daughter to her 2 year well visit. I asked the doctor about my concerns. He examined the area...No yeast infection, no irritations of any kind. He said it's masterbation. He said all I can do is tell her (when she's old enough) that she should do it in private. He said it should pass in a few years. Thanks so much to everyone. It was really helpful!

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N.M.

answers from Albany on

Yes it is normal my daughters and my sons did the same thing.When I spoke to thier doctor they told me that its just the childs way of exploring thier bodies and that it feels good to them not that any parent wants to hear that. If it is causing redness i suggest getting her diapers in a bigger size so that there is more cusion for her. She will eventually out grow it. It is just somethign that you have to deal with right now I know that she is only going to be two but try and tell her that she can't do it in public or around people tell it is ok and do do it in her room she will evenutally stop in public and alltogether if it is still a problem talk to her doctor and she what he/she says to do maybe there is another way for her to do it without causing the redness.

from N. a mom whos been there!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

Yes, unfortunately, it is quite normal at this age! My daughter doesn't do that, but I have a FEW friends with girls her age that are going thru that very same thing right now, so you're not alone! She'll grow out of it soon, don't worry (amen, right?! LOL)

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N.P.

answers from Albany on

My daughter, Marley, has done the same thing for about as long. She will be 2 April 6th. She needed to see her pediatrician about one month ago so I asked if it was "normal". Allthough its embarassing at times and kinda gross for me to think about, I was assured that most kids (not just girls) masterbate. Its just nature and they are not old enough to understand there is a time and a place, you know? Marley mounted and humped her stuffed animals every night before bed, and during tubby time as well. I just try my hardest to ignore it, and I have told her that is something she does when she is by herself... and not in front of mommy or daddy or anyone else. It seems to be working, she does it way less now. SO... at least you know that your little girl is not the only one! Our pediatritian said it was normal, and I am sure yours will tell you the same. I am pretty sure its something they will just grow out of as long as you don't make a big deal of it. I hope I was of some help to you! Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from New York on

Hi, M.. I've read on babycenter.com that it is very normal. It's nothing sexual to the children it just feels really good. The best is to distract her as much as possible. Maybe when you go shopping you can have her hold the shopping list and check things off as you go. Engage her in anything and everything you're doing so she's busy.

I have a son and I haven't seen him hump anything. The most I've seen is in the mornings when he's erect he'll rub a little. But, I strap the diaper on and move on to the next event right away.

I read that it's healthy and it doesn't mean anything bad. It's human nature. I also read that children who are sexually abused will NOT play with themselves.

Just remember, distraction distraction distraction. Get her involved in the things you do even if it ends up taking 15 minutes longer to complete tasks.

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K.J.

answers from Rochester on

This is totally normal i believe. I have 2 daughters and both were courious (though maybe not to the same extent) with their p****** p****. I think the best advise i have it if you catch her "playing", explain to her that if she wants to continue she needs to go in her room or the bathroom.

I would go with the suggestion also to make sure she doesnt have a underlying/reacurring yeast infection too... good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

This is normal...my 4 year old daughter as been doing for a long time....I was totaly freaked out about it when I first saw it and I called the doctor right away....how it was explained to me is that is mastubation...it feels good to them...I talked to my sister about it and she told me her daughter did it till she was about 6 years old...my god I hope my daughter does do it that long...you should really talk to your doctor about it...they will put your worries at ease...good luck

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E.N.

answers from Rochester on

First of all, this is certainly normal- pretty darn embarassing, but normal! I even remember my little sister doing this when I was younger (usually humping a pillow in the tv room) and it bothered my mother too. Little kids are just very aware of their bodies, and are less inhibited in public because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior. And honestly, the behavior isn't bad just the location. This is just going to take some time and repetition- firmly and repeatedly tell her that there are some things we only do in private. At 2 years old she is old enough to begin understanding the difference. Be careful not to make her feel guilty for this behavior- you want her to grow up feeling secure and unashamed of her body. However, I would still mention it to her doctor at her checkup- it is very important that your child's doctor know when she goes through any stage like this, and maybe she will have additional suggestions for you. Plus, you want her to check and make sure that the things your daughter's rubbing isn't going to cause any rashes or irritation. Hang in there!

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R.F.

answers from New York on

My niece used to do the same thing,when she was taken to the ped,he told her parents she had a yeast infection.you said she was red sometimes when you change her diaper.I would go have her seen.Maybe she has an underlying infection.as a woman we all know how irritating yeast infections can be. Good luck.

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A.Q.

answers from Hartford on

my oldest did it about that age as well. totally normal just ignore it. but do make sure there are no infections just in case. my daughter is 4 and i still catch her sometimes. i tell her to go to her room if she wants to do that ;)

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D.S.

answers from Albany on

Hi, M. - My niece, who is now 5, used to do this almost constantly since she was about 1 also. My sister totally ignored it and she eventually grew out of it a little over a year ago. I know that another 2 years and some odd months seems like a long time, but hang in there and I'm sure it will pass. I know that she had her checked for a urinary tract infection and for a yeast infection during that time, both came up negative, but it probably wouldn't hurt to check. Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

M.,

It may just be that it feels different, just like she played with her toes when she was a baby, because she could. That's the majority reason for most things toddlers do. Because they can. If it makes you uncomfortable, and you want to stop her from doing it, take note of when it happens. You mention specifically in the grocery store cart. Is this a behavior that manifests when she's bored? If so, distract her with another activity. Give her a "list" to hold like Mommy's, or tell her to look for her favorite cookie, or find all the red things she can see.

Did you by any chance change her diaper brand when she this all started? A lot of people go from baby diapers ro pull-ups, or the cruiser style diapers at about a year. Maybe something about the diaper you are using is making her itch.

You might want to think about getting her into the ped to have her checked for some kind of urinary infection, or irritation that may becausing her to itch, and all she's doing is trying to scratch.

Other than that, I wouldn't worry. It's a phase, and she'll more than likely grow out of it, as soon as she finds something else, which will probably be more worrisome or annoying. Such is the path of toddlerhood.

Jess

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H.D.

answers from Burlington on

It is a normal form of "self-soothing" for children. They don't know why it makes them feel good (they don't understand sexual gratification yet) but it does make them feel "soothed". Most chilren do stop by the age of six, but not all. Most boys have their own form of it...all my brothers and nephews etc. always sat or laid around with their hands on their groins...makes them feel "safe".
I also read that girls will pick up a new form of this "self-soothing" when they are between 11 and 13. Like the younger boys, they start sleeping with their hand in their pants etc... also described as offering some kind of feeling of safety.
The worst thing I think anyone could do is to make their child feel "dirty" for doing it. I think it should be used as an opportunity to teach our children about touching and when and where it is (or isn't) appropriate.

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G.L.

answers from New York on

My daughter used to touch herself at 2 years old. It made some people uncomfortable but I knew it wasn't a big deal because at that age kids self soothe. My daughter would rub herself with her hands. She outgrew it after a year. I did talk to her pediatrician and have my daughter examined to rule out infections.
Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Utica on

My 2 year old also does this, I also asked the Pedi and she said it was normal. I always thought that she was doing it becuase she had a rash/infection or something but apparently kids their age are starting to realize they have parts there and that for some kids it is a comforting thing.

M.

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J.H.

answers from Binghamton on

my daughter had the same problem when she was little, hers was a yeast infection. And I never new it until the pedatrician told me. She was itching first, always scratching, and then rubbing on everything. And sure enough the baby food I was giving her was giving her a yeast infection and I never knew it. So I let her soak in an oatmeal bath for a little while, and then put some nystantin cream that the dr gave me on her. And also gave her lots of yogurt. And within a week she was back to normal.

i hope i helped

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K.E.

answers from New York on

Hi, M.,

My son has been doing that since he was about 18mo. I think they must just like the sensation? I ignore the people who stare. They are just kids and all kids do unsuual things. I recently asked him why he does it (he's 5 now) and he smiled sheepishly and said I just want to. Then he kept doing it, I asked again, he smiled, laughed a little and told me to not ask him that. I assume he will eventually grow out of it or realize it is not appropriate. I started telling him that people might think it's weird and he should stop, in hopes he will become self conscious about it.

I would be interested in knowing what responses you get on this question and I thank you for asking it.

K.

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T.D.

answers from Burlington on

My fiances daughter has done the same thing, her pediatrician said that some children are more curious than others about this. I understand your concern and embarasment because we are too.
Her pediatrician also said not to stop it but to encourage her to do it in private. I hope this helps and makes it less embarassing.

T.

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C.M.

answers from Albany on

It's totally normal. However, not all girls do it in my experience. My friends dr told her that when she starts doing it put her in her room, she is real young but try to explain to her thats it's okay but that if she's going to do it do it her room in private. But be very nonchalant about it. Again I know she's very little but try not to lead her to belive it's wrong.

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I.H.

answers from Binghamton on

Don't be embarassed to ask about that. It's perfectly normal to be concerned. Either she's itchy or it plain old feels nice. Ask your pediatrician for advice. Good luck and please don't blame yourself.

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K.M.

answers from New York on

i have 2 nieces and i have never seen them do that .you know i know you got advice from people in here but unless they are doctors they dont know .i would really ask her doctor.i have a son who is going to be 2 and he dont even touch himself in those ways. and iam sure it is embarissing so i would call attention to it . mybe there is something bothering her down there yeast infection or something you should really ask maybe it will ease your mind.

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K.T.

answers from Binghamton on

YES IT IS!!!!
Both of my neices did things along these lines, and their dr told their parents (IF YOU ARE FAINT OF HEART STOP READING LOL) "you like being rubbed down there if it feels good they do it too." Mother nature invented those places for enjoyment and function.
She is too young to know about privacy but its totally normal. Dont worry most children grow out of it with time.

Hope this helped,
K.

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C.K.

answers from New York on

i don't have any experience with exactly what you're talking about but i think maybe she is itchy or is having some sort of irritation from her diaper or maybe the wipes you use. ask the doctor but in the meantime maybe switch the soap you use or other things that may be irritating her.

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