Is This Behavior "Typical" for a 10 Y/o Girl?

My niece will be 11 in a few days, but she doesn't care about personal hygene either. My sister always fights with her to take a shower and she will go days without brushing her hair if you let her. As far as the bathroom thing we have no problems there. My nieces hair is always a rats nest and she hates to wear it in a pony tail. It is always a battle for us too! It doesn't matter if she is at home, my house or my parents she hates messing with her hair and taking a shower.

She'll probably get a lot cleaner when puberty hits. And boys can take longer to start caring about hygiene - 14 or 15 or so.

When I was married my step daughter had the dirty undies issue. I told her the same thing - they are not getting washed in my washer. I would throw them out. When we went to the store we took money from HER bank to buy new undies. It was a seperate purchase so she saw that ALL of it was being paid for by HER money. After one more undies purchase, again with her money, she got her act together.

On shower nights, have her do them right after school. Want to watch tv/talk to friends/read/play/etc? Too bad. You're not doing anything until you are cleaned and showered. Then it's not a fight. I doubt she will want to sit too long and just stare at the wall.

If you haven't already, try looking into Sensory Processing Disorder. She may be hyper-sensitive to tactile stimulation. My son has this to some degree, and I didn't know until my son's school principal suggested it to me when he was having trouble focusing in school. I did some research, and I couldn't believe how many symptoms on the checklist he had! This disorder is different for everyone, and the symptom list is huge. Obviously no one has them all, but most of us have at least a few. It really all depends on how many and to what degree and does it interfere with one's life. The good news is a good occupational therapist trained in this disorder can be a big help. I have a friend who is a speech therapist who is very familiar with this disorder, and she tells me most pediatricians don't think to look for this. It is becoming more well known though. Here is a website that can explain the disorder and has a symptom checklist. There are several categories, and she may have no symptoms at all in some of them and only a few in others, but like my son, have just about every symptom in another category. Best of luck to you :)
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

My daughter is also 10 and like some others have said, her main protest about taking showers is that she does not want to stop what she's doing to bother with that! I got the book "The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls" by American Girl and it is great! It talks a lot about personal hygeine and does also talk about the changes their bodies will go through but does not include any of the reproduction side of things (other than getting periods which is only two pages and keeps it very simple). You might want to check it out as it might help her realize why she wants to keep herself clean!

I would check is nothing that she can't control like Erica point out.
If that is not the problem then make her start washing her dirty underwear by hand. Also talk to her about the consequence, not talking about washing her own undies but her body. She could get an infection. Perhaps take her to your next visit with your gyn and ask your doc what could happen with her body if she doesn't wipe good.
About the shower thing, yes, I think is normal, my 15 year old sister was like that, now she spends HOURS in the shower and getting ready. My daughter did the same, now I have to tell her to take fast showers. Don't let it get in your nerves just keep telling her to take a shower and that is not negotiable.

Are you sure she's emptying her bladder completely? If not, that could be why she's dripping.

Well I'm beginning to think that maybe it is typical behavior at this age! I have the exact same problem (though the bed-wetting ended at 4-5 years old) with my 10 year old daughter, and I HAD the same problem with my now 13 year old when she was that age! I figured I would get little respite between the poopy panties and the bloody ones, and I was right! With my oldest, I did get to celebrate cleaner panties for about a year! In their defense, I will say they have/are involved in a lot of extracurricular activities and can't always go to the bathroom at opportune times. Thus, my oldest battled chronic constipation and my youngest has had it some even though both eat right and drink enough. Our ped. said the oldest's intestine was stretched from blockages and so sufferred leakages. Daily miralax for 6 weeks or so helped the intestine shrink back to normal. So that could be some of the cause of this, but I don't think it is the entire cause as in the poor wiping. For that, I keep baby wipes or flushable wipes by the toilet and request (demand!) she clean herself when needed between showers. Also, if you had the puberty talk with her, the American Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You" does an excellent job of stressing proper hygeine. It might help to hear it from someone other than mom! All I can say is to keep nagging and explaining proper procedures and soon enough like my oldest, once full-blown puberty hits, you will be wishing she would not spend so much time in the shower!

I think it is normal for children to go through a "lazy" phase. My husband and I frequently remark that our 8 year old was more conscientious when he was 4 than he is right now.

I don't think it is typical, but I don't think it is outside of the parameters of "normal" behavior either. My almost 10 yr old daughter has to be made to take a shower. She just never wants to stop whatever else she has planned to go do it. She'll argue that she doesn't need one instead. (Even if she just came from a karate class and was sweaty during class).

As for the skid mark issue, that could be something as simple as a slight motor skill issue and embarrassment about not being able to do it properly/well. I like the suggestion of putting potty wipes (Cottonelle moist wipes or something else along those lines) in the bathroom. We used them when our kids were toddlers up until almost 5 years old. The transition when we stopped using them (got a house with a septic tank, lol) took a little while, but not that long.
My daughter has beautiful hair, but doesn't want to do anything with it. Stays in a pony tail all the time, and she doesn't even take it out and "re-fix" it later in the day after it gets all saggy and flattened in the back from sitting against the seat in the car (where it is so loose that it looks like it's about to fall out, lol).

Does she have issues with any other motor skills or just the potty?

I'm in the same boat you are with my 11 year old boy he does the same thing. So I really don't have any advice for you. I just hope it gets better for the both of us.

My 9 1/2y boy is going through the same thing.

Two things that I've done that have helped.
1. Placed moist Cottonelle wipes on the back of the toilet. The kids use these for cleaning up back there. Works wonders.

2. Placed clean underwear in a drawer that is within reach of the toilet. We have 2 bathrooms that the kids use, and so there is extra underwear in each bathroom. This makes it more likely that when there is an issue with streaks that they will change their pants sooner than later. Soiled clothes go straight to the laundry room for washing, not the hamper!

I have a spray that I found at Toys R Us and Babies R Us called Totally Toddler. It works WONDERS on soilded clothes.

Good luck. You are NOT alone, and she WILL outgrow this!
M.

From my personal experience with my 11 year old daughter and ALL of her friends, it is not normal. The care about looking AND smelling good. They take pride in their hair, nails, and even wear perfume or body spray. They care about looking nice with their clothes, and the latest trends. Does your daughter have friends? Maybe she needs to spend time with close friends? I know my daughter and her friends love spending time being all 'girly' and doing 'girl' things. My daughter also plays sports. Therefore, she is made to take a shower every day. This is usually not a problem though, as I have bathed her daily since she was a toddler, so it is a habit for her now. She showers every night before bed, as does my 6 year old daughter and my 2 year old son. I've also never dealt with a bed wetter, so, I don't know how that goes. But, I've made it a thing with all my kids no drinks after a certain time, and they must potty before bed, no questions asked, no exceptions. They potty after they brush their teeth for bed. Also never had an issue with not wanting to wipe. Again, I tell them they will stink, and, they have too much pride to want to walk around stinking.

instead of throwing her soilde underwear away, i would make her hand wash them.

I think it's typical for some kids. I'm going through it with my 9-year old. Of the kids in her class, some of them come smelling like they don't shower often and looking like they don't care about their hair and others the same age are very neat and smell great.

I make mine shower every other morning, no exceptions. She's not allowed to start her day without a shower. I found out that she hadn't been washing her privates or her body so now I stand there and watch her to make sure she does it.

We had the underwear issue too. It's just laziness. Moist wipes helped, and so did making her wash her own underwear out. She would rush through because she wanted to get back to playing. So I'd stop her playtime and make her wash out her underwear. She only washed 3 pairs of underwear before it stopped and she cleaned herself properly. I did end up throwing the underwear out after she cleaned it because it was so stained, but the point is she had to clean it and be grossed out. She paid for underwear out of her own allowance as well.

She still groans about the shower, but I ignore it. I let her go one week with no shower because I was sick of her complaining and she got to gymnastics practice and one of the kids said "OMG, who stinks???" and then the kids held their noses and stepped back. She was so embarrassed she sat out the whole class. I didn't hear any complaining about showering for a while after that, but it didn't last. A month later she was back to complaining again! Oh well, she'll grow out of it! I was assured so by other moms here!

My daughter is 11. She is careless with wiping and often resists showers.

Looking back, I don't remember paying any attention to it at that age. I do remember have quite oily hair that my mom askied her hair care friends how to deal with. I think part of it was that I had not yet learned how to wash my long, thick hair properly. Recently my daughter and I were showering together after swim practice and I realized that she did not know how to wash HER hair.

I don't remember at what age I stopped bathing her and expected her to know how to take care of herself from then on, but the above experience has made me wonder what else I just assumed she knows how to do.

In an effort to help my daughter learn that it is her responsibility to remember and do hygiene tasks, I have mostly stopped telling her to do " them, but say things like: "After you've brushed your teeth, ..." or "if you've already brushed your teeth, you can watch TV." Occasionally we do have to say, "You stink, go shower." ... but other times we try to have frank discussions and point out to her that most people are too polite to tell her that and often will just avoid her instead-- and that we tell her because we love her and would rather that she hear it from us.

I would keep encouraging and teaching your daughter, but not make it a big deal. I think it is more normal than many people might think.

Mine has a medical condition(overactive adn spastic bladder). When she stands up, a few drops of pee come out. We showed her how to lean forward for 10 seconds to hopefully squeeze it out. We also have to train her to try to use the restroom more frequently and have a good teacher this year who signals her to remind her on occasion. The poopy panties go in the trash a couple of times per month here. They are cheap at Walmart and Target and we wear all cotton. Because I have this condition, I did not resort to medicines. It is about training the mind and body to pee every 3 hours or so and to eat enough fiber to poop daily. Sunmaid sells sealed prunes that come in a tall, clear container. They are tasty and that keeps her moving without diarhea. we also do miralax, though it tastes gross in water so we use juice. It is best served on ice, really cold.

well, to answer your question... no, i don't think it's "typical" but i do think with some kids it's like that. i would just keep doing what you're doing. she's still young. she has GOT to take an interest in keeping herself nice when she gets older right?