Is This an Early Sign?

Updated on November 07, 2009
L.D. asks from Alta Vista, KS
8 answers

I have a 10year old boy. His class is small 2 or 3 boys and 10 girls, since they started kindergarten, so obviously the boys and girls play together. I am now starting to have concerns, when I drop him off at school the boys 5th-8th are mostly up at the ball court playing. The girls are playing by the door, he never goes to the vall court and heads right to the door/girl group. I am not much into sports and have never pushed him to be but shouldnt he wnat to be hanging with the boys?
He plays hard and has tried summer sports, niether of us is interested. He has horses and a 4 wheeler and a hard worker, but I was a single mom for the first 7 years and well he takes care of mommy for sure.

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So What Happened?

Since this is an issue that I will have to see on I will let you all know thank you for the responses and I will ease up on the thoughts. As for JO G the indirect question was on purpose either bc I was in the Navy for 5 and 1/2 years or bc as a nurse you do not ask "direct" qustions! For example if you came to the er complaining of chest pain I would not ask is your pain midsternal radiating to your back, jaw, and left arm worsening with activity, bc more than likley you would respond yes, when all in reality instead of having a major MI the problem is gas. Or if you came in saying your water broke I would not ask was it a big gush of clear fluid. with you responding yes bc it may have been pea soup colored indicatind meconium stain which would be a huge problem and risk to the newborn. I am rather direct when need be. This was more to see what conclusion others would come to and guess what you all came to the same conclusion.

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answers from Kansas City on

Not all boys like sports. My husband was into theatre and stuff as a kid/teen, still has more friends that are girls than boys, and it was nothing to worry about.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from St. Louis on

I have no idea what you are asking. Are you asking is this an early sign he doesn't like sports? Is this an early sign he is hitting on girls or are you wondering if you son is gay? For a nurse you sure have trouble asking direct questions.

I am assuming you aren't concerned about sports. Is he hitting on girls, probably not. It is a good thing that he seems to relate well to them. Most likely since you raised him alone for seven years he is more comfortable speaking socially to girls. Does that make him gay, hell no, and you really shouldn't be concerned about that at such a young age. The worst thing you can do is start picking around and asking stupid questions to try to figure it out. It won't make him gay it will just confuse the heck out of him.

Relax, let the poor kid grow up. All of my good friends are guys. The gentleman I am currently dating is a guy. Sometimes you just relate better to the opposite gender. One reason I prefer guys as friends is they would have asked hey, do you think my son is gay? I would have laughed at them for asking the question and then we would go have a beer. See how much easier that is.

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answers from Topeka on

Is this an early sign of WHAT??? That he is a sweet sensitive little boy, that he spent the first 7 years of his life with his Momma and so interacts more easily with girls than boys??? Don't sweat the small things...let him play with the people he enjoys and feels comfortable with. Maybe those other boys are bullies and no one in their right mind ( except other bullies) would WANT To play with
Let him find his own niche in life...if we were all exactly the same...think of what a boring world this would be.
Teach him kindness, love, caring, teach him the Love of God, let him know he is loved and valued...he will be fine...and so will you!!!
R. Ann

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answers from Wichita on

Good Morning L., Is this an early sign of What? That he has been in the company of females for 7 of his ten years and likes to be the dominate male? Heck
You said you don't like sports so if he hasn't really had anyone to get him interested he won't go shot hoops. His momma doesn't like um so why should he? Because he is a boy he should like everything manly? With only 2 or 3 boys in his class he doesn't really have that much male influences.

I think horses and a 4 wheeler is right on.
I don't think you have anything to worry about L., with a new step dad he can take him fishing if he wants to go, or maybe to a Chiefs or Royals game sometime. Or maybe get him to help work on the car or truck ...

He sounds like a pretty bright, intelligent, more mature little man already.

God bless your happy home
K. Nana of 5

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answers from Kansas City on

I doubt you have anything to worry about. I know when I was a kid I preferred playing with the boys at recess because the girls were boring and all they wanted to do was sit around and talk about boys. I liked sports so would play ball with the guys. I grew up with brothers and was the girl in the middle of 2 boys. We played a lot of sports with the neighbors which were all guys, and board games. I did have a few friends at church that were girls but hardly any at school and was easier to talk to the guys.

As an adult I have a lot of friends and very involved in the ladies ministry at our church. I am easy going and get along with pretty much everyone including the teenagers and kids. So I did eventually grow out of the tomboy stage where I preferred the sports and guy stuff more than girly stuff.

I don't know what you are asking but I think he is fine. He may not like sports and if the girls don't mind him hanging around them then he is probably a true friend. He will probably end up being a great husband and father one day and will probably know how to treat a girl because he hears what they like.

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answers from Kansas City on

Is it possible he's just a ladies man? I mean it's really hard to tell about sexual preferences at this age. My brother is gay but he didn't become openly gay until he was an adult. As a child he seemed very much like a typical boy, playing all sports, fighting with my other brother as well as other guys, me and my sisters. Looking back there were really no obvious signs. My other brother, who is absolutely NOT gay, acted the same way, but was a little nicer to me and my sisters and befriended all of our female friends. He had more female friends than my gay brother by a long shot. Our father was not in the picture, but we did have Grandfather. Unless your son does or says something to indicate that he's having some issue in this area, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you are truly concerned, you might consider counseling (if you can afford it).

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answers from Kansas City on

This reminds me of the Hallmark commercial of the mother who is trying to teach her son to play one sport and he does terrible, another one and he fails, and on and one with him not doing well or liking each sport. THEN she goes to his school program and there he is singing a solo part and doing so well. Don't worry as long as he plays with boys too and not JUST girls and try to find his bent, or area where he feels he's comfortable. Not all boys like sports, not all girls like cooking, not any of us are a mold. Accept him as he is but try to help him find his interests and just be sure he is also communicating with boys. If his 'thinking' of himself is confused then you should talk with someone. Otherwise just help him do more with boys and accept himself without sports. Then pray daily for wisdom in raising him and your other children. Is the one on the way a boy too?
I might add a little note here about one of my grandsons who I just love to pieces, I love all of them but this one is with me more, and he didn't like T-Ball and says he won't play soccer, or basketball, etc. He's just turned 5 yrs. old though. Well, I asked what sport he'd like and he said it was the one where you throw the ball at some pins and I said 'Do you mean bowling?'. Yes that was it. Maybe you could try bowling. :-) I'm still laughing at that but his mom and dad didn't laugh as hard as I did. :-)

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answers from Columbia on

It is an eary stage in life which is worrysome since he only hangs with the girls. Maybe you should start playing sports with him to get him acquainted to the game. He might be scared to play with them becuase he isn't as good as them. If he just doesn't like it you could always look at it as he is mackin on the ladies. lol But i would get a play net and a ball and bat, start teaching him some sports or ask someone who likes sports to teach him.... how is he doing in PE at school?

1 mom found this helpful
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