I have a close friend that I have known since I for allmost 20years. She is a great friend but I just cannot stand her house! It smells like the zoo! She has more pets than I can count. She has at least 3 dogs, 12 cats, 3 ferrets and I dont know how many snakes. She also breeds mice for the snakes. None of her animals have been fixed ( which is illegal in both the city & county where we reside) so something is always giving birth. I have been making excuses for years as to why I cant go to her house but now I'm stumped. Her baby's birthday party is coming up and she wants me to attend with my kids. I dont want to take my kids there. They will be 10months old at the time of the party, they are crawling & into everything. My friend doesnt clean nor put the animals outside or take them elsewhere when people come over. I really dont know what to tell her. I would love to go to the party but I cant handle the smell & I really dont want my kids playing with animal poop ( It is all over the floors) I should add that I have talked to her in the past about how gross her house is but she doesnt seem to mind it. I have contacted the authorites but nothing ever comes of it, her husband works for the city. I have also helped her clean her home, offered to help her find new homes for her pets but its always a temp fix. What do I do... Do I go to the party, or do I skip it?
Thanks for the advice. I think I am going to skip the party. Sadly where we are the city is in charge and like I said everytime I complain nothing happens. She is a good mom and her kids are always taken care of, she just isnt a good pet parent. Thanks for taking time to rad this & respond. You all are always so helpful
Yuck... I have 13 cats and when I see poop or pee on the floor I freak out and clean is ASAP!!
Be honest with her. Say you'd love to go, but her home is disgusting with all the excrement, animals everywhere and the stench. Also mention that just because it doesn't bother her, doesn't mean you have the same acclimation to it.
I have a freind who is a vet and we were talking about a similar situation a few years ago. In vet lingo this woman is called a collector. It's a lot like the extremes you see on the TV show Hoarding. She is mentally ill and needs an intervention.
If her husband works for the city go above them contact the county and or state health departments. Call the county sheriff's office. Tell them the hubby works for the city and when you filed complaints they went unheard. Not only is this a health issue for her children but also for her pets and her and the hubby.
Tell her, I love you dearly but I can not stand the filth and smell in your house. Sorry we can no longer come to your house.
Since she knows you have issues with the animals already you might say, "I'm sorry, but you have a lot of animals and my babies are just not at a good stage for a visit."
skip it. my moms home is like this and the point is its HER home. the other point is that if you don't feel comfortable going there, don't. its as simple as that. we have moved all our family parties to my house for this exact reason. i can't stand the smell and the floors are disgusting. since you have been honest with her in the past i would be honest with her now and say you will hate to miss the party but because the babies crawl on the floor you don't feel comfortable with them being on her floor because of the pets and leave it at that. there isn't anything you can do since its her home and how she chooses to keep it. but dont feel obligated just because she's having a party and you feel you need to attend. maybe she can move it to a park but it seems she doesn't care so neither should you. good luck!
There is literally "animal poop all over the floors"?!
I'm sorry, you need to report her to the health department asap. And repeatedly. And to CPS. Or the police. Or the county police. Or the next level. Her husband doesn't know EVERYONE--that's a lame excuse.
No way would I go OR take my kid(s) there.
I'm generally not a fan of doing this, but I think now might be a time for you to say "Billy & Bobby have terrible allergies to X animal, so we can't come. Sorry. If you have the party outdoors or at another location, we'd love to make it."
Don't go. The health and well being of your kids is more important than your friends feelings. Just tell her the honest truth of why you aren't coming. I am not saying to be mean about it but you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells because she keeps a dirty house. I would contact the state and not the city since she has a child in the home and animal poop (or human) is dangerous.
If you are not exaggerating, and there is actually animal poop all over the floors, then I vote for the honest approach suggested by PamelaRaven.
She needs to know the seriousness of the condition of her house, if that is the case.
Just tell her straight up, "Honey I love you, but your animal house makes me sick, I just can't visit anymore."
I would still call the authorities on her, not just the city or animal services but. CPS... they would make her clean up for the children's saftey. Also, I would go above the city and call the state. Her children and the animals deserve to live in a clean environment. I would honestly tell her that and ask if she thinks this is okay to continue doing. And I'm a huge animal lover, but this is atrocious.
Oh yes, I don't get these types of living conditions either. I have a similar friend and I can only dart in and out.
For some odd entertaining reason, not only do they love all the collected pets around, they enjoy inviting others over as if we too enjoy the chaos and smell.
I think if you boycott the party and tell her you don't want your small ones exposed to the animal feces and dander it will send a clear message.
The scientific truth is that the exposure to all this is probably good for your kids immune system. We, the mom's, are the one's with the issues and hoping our kids will have the same issues. But the kids will undoubtedly find it all very entertaining and delightful.
Can you go late and leave early???
You can have a lot of animals without filth so it's not that your friend has a petting zoo. The actual issue is that she doesn't really clean up after them all leaving her house to be a health hazard. No I would not take the kids over because they could get really sick from all the animal waste left on the floors. You've already let your friend know that her cleaning standards don't match yours so don't bother rehashing it. Just wish her little 1 well and stay home with your kids.
Call your local Humane Society.
Report it to them, and put in a complaint.
It can be anonymous.
In our local city, the Humane Society, has upon reporting, gone out to homes like this, and confiscated the animals, the owner fined and sent to court, etc. I think per them telling the city/county.
Do that.
She's got a major health hazard there.
And she has kids???
Are they taken care of?
Some people take care of their pets better than their own kids.
I have seen that.
Gross!
My husband's parents have a disgusting house too. They have four large dogs and two cats in one three-bedroom home. You walk into their house and you get hit with this AWFUL smell immediately. There is animal hair covering EVERYTHING. Every time I go in there, I have to take a shower when I leave.
IMO, just tell her the reason you don't want to go. That's exactly what we did to my in-laws. They are absolutely welcome at our house any time, but I do not and will not subject my kids to that disgusting environment. We told them that, and they refused to get rid of any of the animals, and we just said "Oh, how sad, you chose the animals over having your grandchildren visit you."
I would just tell your friend-- "You can come see me ANY time, but your house has too many animals and I don't want my baby crawling around in there. I will send a gift, I love you, and see you soon!"
Tell her you will come to her house, but will not be able to come inside. Surely she can understand that you don't want your kids in that type of environment. It's a health risk.
