Is This a Christian or What?

Updated on May 09, 2013
S.. asks from Brooklyn, NY
20 answers

i have been a christian for over 10 years but now i changed my mind about some things. like gay being a sin. i really thought about it and i really don't feel that way. i feel like people can live their life for them and if god may not like some things that's for them and god not everyone elses business.
if people are not being hurtful or doing crimes then people should not try to tell them they will go to a hell. i do still feel like i believe in god and i love god but just not that kind of thing about people's love life and i don't want to tell my kids those things. can i still be a christian or what would this be?

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So What Happened?

thank you all so much for your encouragement. your words have been more helpful than you may ever know.

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answers from Portland on

Being a Christian is believing in Christ just as being a Buddhist is believing in Buddha. I strong belief that my personal relationship with Christ/God enables me to make decisions about what I choose to believe. No one can tell me what Christ wants me to do. Christ/God speaks to me thru the Bible and personal experiences as well as what others have written.

I also strongly believe that churches do not have all the answers. They are organized by men and also have access to God but what they believe is also based on their interpretations of the Bible, personal experiences and what others have written.

I believe the Bible is inspired by God but so are many other writings and ideas. The Bible was written in a different century during different social expectations. What is important about the Bible are the principals it teaches.

During the time the time the Bible was written gay relationships were not only not accepted but were also scorned. I believe that teaching was against the teaching that God is love. You can find verses that teach about God's love and when you do I believe you'll find that God accepts gay relationships.

I know that many, many people believe that what I believe is heresy. I strongly believe that what I believe and do is between me and God. I am not responsible for my beliefs to any mortal on this earth. God will judge each of us. Christ specifically says not to judge.

13 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

That would be "being non judgemental."
I suspect you're on the right track.

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

It would be called being a good person.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

I grew up in a Christian home that never dwelled on homosexuality in any way or preached against it or even mentioned it. My parents took us to San Francisco as kids and cheerfully pointed out the "gay couples". For the past 20 years however, my mom remarried and became one of those Christians who really harps on the gay issue and singles it out as a terrible sin while turning a practically blind eye to many other sins. Are their kids allowed to hang around men who have divorced? Sure. Are they allowed to hang around any GAYS?!!! NOOOOOOOOO heavens no what a sick abomination and wrong choice....even though it's barely mentioned in the bible and not any more condemned than working on Sunday.

I have no patience for this. 1) I have known so many gay people in my life it is obvious to me it is a natural orientation from birth. No matter what anyone says, I know this is true. 2) "Gayness" negatively effects me in NO way and is none of my business. 3) Gay people have many positive qualities that straight people lack and that would be hard to explain here and be concise so I'll leave it at that.

I'm not a Christian because so much of the wisdom we hear echoed throughout Christianity was actually rooted in much older religions. I do believe in God. I see no need to be in the "We're Christians and everyone else is wrong and we don't approve of the gays" club. And the condescending "I can love the sinner and hate the sin" angle is so...icky...I mean, then you hate everyone's sins OK, why mention it and be all judgy....

But not all Christians are like that. There are bad eggs in every religion. My dad is a Christian and has no problem with the gays.

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answers from Washington DC on


8 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I don't think your sentiments are incompatible with Christianity. They seem to go to the heart of Christianity -- charity, turning the other cheek, loving thy neighbor as thyself. There are examples throughout history of un-Christian things being done in the name of Christianity (see, e.g., Inquisition, Spanish; Burning, Witches; etc.), but the true Christian spirit has always prevailed.

My understanding is that a lot of the Mainline Protestant churches -- Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Lutheran, etc. -- are welcoming and respectful of people regardless of their sexuality, not to mention churches with longstanding progressive traditions -- Quaker, Unitarian, etc.. You might find a welcome home there as well.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

The most beautiful, loving and truly Christ-like person I have every known was a lesbian atheist. I am sure that she became an atheist in part because of Christians who demonized gay people. That seems to be a bit against God's teachings, if you ask me. I don't think he wants us to judge and condemn other folks so much that they are driven away from the divine.

God is mysterious. I choose to believe that God wants me to see the divine in all people. That for me is the definition of grace. It is also a much happier, hopeful place to be. It also makes it so much easier to be forgiving of people who might have been hurtful, and forgiveness is the true way to foster loving kindness in the world.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Danville on

That would be a christian...truly living what 'christ' taught.

Look at his friends/apostles...

He did not 'shy' away...
Or make judgements.

Some of my best friends are NOT 'christian'...but they surely live their lives in a 'christian' manner...

As we all should

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

You can be gay and not be a sinner for being gay, but if you are a practicing gay, then you have crossed the line and are committing adultery or fornication. Both of those things are sins. Remember the Ten Commandments? They are called commandments and not suggestions for a reason.

In James the scripture says, "Faith without works is death". What death? Spiritual death. We will be judged by our faith and our works. The smallest good deed is worth more than the grandest good intention. I intended to help the hungry man can't hold a candle to "I gave the man an apple".

I cannot tell where people are going to end up, Heaven or Hell. I am going to do my best to see what they do and act and try and imitate their good works and shun and abhor their sinful acts. God cannot and will not tolerate sin. If He could abide sin, He wouldn't be God. That's why he gave us the opportunity to repent of our sins and the ability to go and sin no more. He told us to "Be thee therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect."

That's why Christ's mission to Earth was to take upon himself the sins of mankind. All He asks and all Heavenly Father asks is that we repent and forsake our wrong doing (sins) and go and sin no more.

Good luck to you and yours.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

People who say that they are Christians--I shy away from. People who live like Christians do not have to say it.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

What does that mean exactly: "being gay" ?
My husband and I had a conversation about this recently... I mean, what exactly is a "gay priest"? Priests are celibate. So, if a person is not having sex, then what does it mean to "be gay"? I mean... when did we start self-identifying as our sexual orientation/desire? I don't go around "I'm hetero". Do people self-identify now by what they think/feel/desire? It makes no sense. If I want to lie about something, should I be self-identifying as a Liar? If I see a hunky man (that isn't my husband) and I think "wow, he's pretty hot", should I start self-identifying as an adulteress?

A person is a person is a person. What people are is sinners. All of us. "Being gay" is no more a sin than "being heterosexual", which for a person practicing celibacy really means nothing. The sin comes in when you lust or commit acts otherwise forbidden by the Law.
Have you ever heard of original sin? yeah... we all carry that around. No matter what else we do. Only Christ can heal our relationship with the Father. And that, my friend, is the Gospel. The Good News. Christ did everything that was needed.... there is nothing left for us to do for salvation. God gives us faith, so that no man may boast. It is the gift of God. And yes, the scripture someone posted earlier chastises those ready to stone someone for their transgressions, but don't forget what Christ said to the woman also: Go and sin no more.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

You don't need to stop being a Christian, you just need to find a different church. There are many Christian denominations who support gay marriage and do not view being gay as sinful. Do your research and find an affirming congregation.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I don't identify with a religion. Personally, I don't even LIKE religion.
I believe in God, I try to live my life morally and ethically.
I also believe that abortion is a wrong and I couldn't care less if people are gay.
Makes me a left leaning God believing woman. lol
You believe in God. Period.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

Other humans are not God. You can be Christian and not condemn homosexuals. What human is to say homosexuals are any more sinful than heterosexuals have pre-marital sex?

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Amen Gidget, Marda P, and Doris Day!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I feel the same way you do. I'm so sick of judgmental, holier-than-thou "christians."

One sin is not worse than another. I don't know why being gay has become the lynchpin sin, but it shouldn't be. Gossiping and heartlessness are sins. Why don't we pick on those people for awhile!

I am still a Christian because I believe Christ died for my sins. But I won't participate in judging others, because I don't believe that is my job. I am not worthy enough to judge anybody. That's up to God. I love my gay friends just like I love any of my friends.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

It's been a long time since I opened a BIble, but I seem to recall Ieshua being quoted as saying, "Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. In these are all the law and the commandments." So if I were still Christian, I would use that as my guide to living.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Muncie on

Many things are "sins" but they do not immediately remove your place in heaven if you commit them.

As a Christian, do I fee that "being gay is a sin", yes. So is premarital sex and I'm guilty of that one. Do I think we'll "burn", nope.

I "sinned" in the desire to show my love to one person and one person only, I married him. I think if others "sin" for similar reasons, God sees and knows the truth.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

You can disagree with someone and still love them, right? So... you can disagree with God and still love Him. You can also recognize that something is a sin, but not treat a person as a "sinner". In fact, a Christian accepts people for who they ARE and AS they are.

If you are not feeling like your beliefs are in alignment with your current church, then find a new spiritual home! I am Catholic and we are members of a pretty progressive parish. We have several same-sex couples in our congregation. While those couples cannot marry in the church (or this state), they are welcome (like everyone else) to celebrate Mass on Sunday.

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answers from New York on

Take your Bible and look it up. See what God says about a man "laying" with a man or a woman and a woman. Yes it is a sin and yes it does keep you from God.

2 moms found this helpful
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