Is There Such a Law???

Updated on February 24, 2010
J.C. asks from Mabank, TX
29 answers

hello moms im going threw a divorce and i have two childern that wanted to stay with there father to be able to stay in there same school and they didnt want to lose there friends...he was very mean to me he use to hit me cuss me put me down.he is a pretty good father most of the time but he does like to play mind games.well he is going for full custody of the kids well my daughter is wanting to come back to me and he want let her.she is very upset she will be 14 in june well i have moved on and got me a very good boyfriend we have a very nice apt.together he is a very good guy he has been on his job 16years works very hard he is a great guy.my soon to be ex is trying to tell me my daughter cant live with me because there is a law that my boyfriend cant be in the home after 8pm since we aint married -is there really a law like that???im trying to find out where i stand do i need to hire attorney my divorce will be done with in 3weeks what do i do????any info we be great thanku moms

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F.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hire an attorney. I know that my husbands' cousin went thru a divorce recently. She had a boyfriend at the time and she could not be with him or the kiddos be around the boyfriend but now they are married so that changed the decree and the father does not have to pay child support. you need to hire an attorney

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Dallas on

Get a lawyer! You should NOT be negotiating a divorce when kids are involved without one. If you do you are going to get totally screwed with this guy.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

No there isn't a law. Like all the legislators going through a divorce with kids involved would allow it.

L.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

There's not a law, but in Texas, parents can have it put in the divorce papers that an unrelated person of the opposite sex may not spend the night while the child is in your possession. I know because my ex & his ex had it in theirs. They both agreed to it however, so I'm not sure if you both have to agree or not. They also had no drinking 8 hours before and while you are in possession of the child. Texas does have those strange stipulations that people put into child custody situations and it is happenning more often. Texas is a dad friendly state, but if the daughter is wanting to live with you, you need to have it in the divorce decree.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

I believe I have read several posts from you regarding this subject. I just want to tell you I am sorry you are having to go through this. I can really see how torn you are between two men and the whole living situation with your 2 kids and cousin.

However this time around your ex husband is telling you a complete lie! He is playing with your head BIG TIME J.. He is jealous of what you have now and he seems to want to do just about ANYTHING to ruin it for you. This is just awful. Do not let him win this one. You are seeing for yourself what life is like with a man that appreciates you and cares for you. Never in a million years would I leave this new guy and go back with that creap! Even if my children were involved. Your #1 top priority through this whole mess is your children. Do whatever it takes to make sure they are in a safe environment. You mentioned getting a lawyer. J., you do need to get SOMEONE to help you through this. Maybe it is time for a lawyer. Sorry but I really don't have any experience when it comes to dealing with them. But please look one up and find someone to be on your side and help you get through this. But whatever you do please don't back down and move back in with him. I am sure this is extremely hard and stressful for you to deal with but you are moving forward on the right track. Seek out someone who can help you. I live in the DeSoto area and I will even start looking for some lawyers are legal advice and let you know what I find. Continue coming to all of us for support if needed. One day I would just love to read a "Happy and my life is going much better now" post from you.

Stay Strong J.. You can pull through this.

K.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

GET AN ATTORNEY. Your kids should be the most important thing in your life right now. 14 is a very hard age and she will be looking to you for a good example. If this new guy is as good as you say, he will understand any changes that you may need to make. 4 years go quickly and mostly likely she will be out on her own or off to college. Being a good parent is a big sacrifice, but well worth the rest of your life relationship with your daughter. I know - I have three and at ages 25,25, and 30, we are all very close.

Key: LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN and give advise when needed with concern not reprimand, i.e. helping not putting down.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Firstly I'm sorry you are having to go trough this. I see a big problem your kids should be living with you not the father. There could of been different arangements made for the school situation. The thing is that he is wanting full custody and him having them live with him not you helps him alot. I have seen this many times before. He can claim that you abanded them. Just try to get your kids or daughter as soon as posible and make school arangements picking her up, dropping her to or changing to her new school. There is no such law about your boyfriend living with you. Just make sure your kids have there own rooms and all should be well. Wish you the best of luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

There is no law but he can put it in the divorce degree if he wants. It was in my original degree but when we went back to court the judge decided it would be ok for my ex's girlfriend (the same one he had an affair with) to spend the night when my son visits because she lives with his father. The judge said he would not displace her from her home. With that said, your daughter is old enough that she can decide where she wants to live. Most of the time unless there are abusive issues the judge will rule to keep the kids with the mother.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

There is no such law but the court can put a rule on overnight visits but he lives there. I know you don't want to hear this but it would have been better to wait until your divorce is done to start another live in relationship. That said even if your children are not living with you there can be joint custody...YES you must have a lawyer - always.....your daughter is old enough for the judge to listen to her about where she wants to live and lastly, no man is a "good father' who hits women especially the mother of his children.....get a lawyer or you may just loose your kids....best of luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.E.

answers from Dallas on

I would say you definitely needed an attorney! That is not a law, but it is a stipulation that can be put in the custody papers concerning visitation (no unrelated overnight guests of the opposite sex). I don't know exactly how it's worded, so you might be ok since he is not a guest, but I would refer to an attorney. Also what goes for you also goes for your ex, if he wants that as part of the visitation stipulations then he can't have overnight guests of the opposite sex either. Wishing you good luck!

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V.W.

answers from Davenport on

There is NOT a law that says that! That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You should definitly get an attorney. If he did that to you and you know that he plays mind games then why are you allowing him to have custody of the children??? Isn't that scarey to you?

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

I don't believe that's a law, but it may be part of your custody/divorce decree. You need to check your papers carefully and see if that might be one of the conditions of your custody arrangements.

Also, I believe that at 12, your child has significant input in where they want to be - so if your daughter wants to live with you and she's 14, that should bear the most weight in the court.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

Actually, there is. When I divorced, neither my ex nor I could have anyone staying in the house unless we were married. Your ex can have it enforced it he choses to. My ex and I were pretty civil and did not put each other through the bs most people go through. If your current boyfriend is understanding, he will consider your child's feelings in all of this and step to the side a bit.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

No, I do not believe there is such a law. Your soon to be ex is trying to control what you do, how you do it, and he is playing mind games and using fear tactics.

At 14, your daughter is old enough to tell a judge in court which parent she wants to live with.

Also, I understand your hesitancy to get a lawyer, but given your soon to be ex's attempts to twist facts and scare you into giving him what he wants, I think that you do need a lawyer to watch out and protect your best interests would be best. It is not just which child lives where, there's the factor of child support, visitation, and things like that.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.O.

answers from Dallas on

If you ever have any hopes of your daughter getting married and finding a decent man to love, honor, and cherish, you will pass on the bf until she is 18.
Your kids should never be at your house over night with a boyfriend in your bed.
Why are you settling? "A pretty good bf" tells me right away that you just need a man. Get out there and find someone who adores you when the time is right. You fix you and be the best mom you can be. For now it's all about the kidz. They didn't ask for this. It's all about you on your weekend without the kidz.
For now, you need to do some counciling and figure out why you allowed yourself to get in the abusive marriage in the first place.
Don't pass this down to the next generation.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't believe there is a law such as that, but I would definetly get an attorney. As far as the boyfriend, I have been in your shoes, and having a boyfriend at this delicate stage in your life is a mistake. You need to focus on your children and divorce, not on the boyfriend. If he is as good as you say he is, he will understand and wait. I'm just speaking from experience.
Good luck

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M.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I think an attorney is critical for getting a fair settlement. Good-luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

As noted by a couple of people, there is such a standing order in Texas.
The below is from the Collin County District Court.
1.7 If this is an original divorce action, allowing anyone with whom the party
is romantically involved, to remain over night in the home while in
possession of the child. Overnight is defined from 10:00 p.m. until 7:00
a.m.

http://www.collincountytexas.gov/district_courts/standing...

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm a cop...no law like that

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am sure there is no law like that, or else a lot of people would be arrested. My concern is for your children and don't think that you should have jumped into another relationship so quickly, before your divorce is even final. I also wonder what kind of message this would send to your daughter about living with a man before marriage. I guess I am too old fashioned, but I think involving children in live-in situations is not a good idea. You do not have any commitment with this man and so what happens if this relationship breaks up? Then your kids will go through another bad situation. I agree with the previous poster that suggested you concentrate on getting your life and your kids life back on track, before you get involved in another relationship.

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D.L.

answers from Houston on

Once you are divorced you can have whoever you want in your home, whenever you want. The ONLY time that it matters who is in your home is before the divorce if the judge in your case has issued temporary orders regarding visitation. Get a lawyer and make sure that your final divorce decree allows your children to be with you and your boyfriend.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have never heard of such a law, although people write in things all the time into their divorce decrees. Basically it is also none of his business, he is just jealous. People do all kinds of things these days. I do not know in your state for sure if there is such a law - simply ask the lawyer or call legal aide. Or perhaps go to the library and look up the laws, but I do know that unless he has a video camera set up in your house with the correct time and a witness that boyfriend walks in after 8 pm. then he cannot say anything without proof. People get nasty about divorces. My ex followed me around with a camera trying to catch me in an uncompromising position for awhile. He did a number of other things, so be on your toes, this may not be the first or last issue that comes up with the past Mr.Wonderful and by the way, congratulations on making a good choice about a new man in your life! Sounds like a winner!!!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

If you are in the middle of a divorce or a suit affecting parent-child relationship, the Texas standing orders do stipulate no overnight boyfriend/girlfriends, I believe it is after 10pm they have to leave by. You should have received the Order stipulating it. You really need to get an attorney. Lord knows what kind of stuff they are putting in your Decree that you are not aware of. Your children need to be your priority during this time or you will regret it later. Best wishes!

Updated

One more thing... your kids do not have to live with their dad to continue going to their school. In Texas as long as one of the parents lives in the School District the kids can stay even if they are actually living the majority of the time with the parent that lives outside of the school district. If he was putting you down he is probably not that great of a dad. You really should not be living with another guy right now. This is time for you and your kids. You can date this great guy but don't move in together. Please get a good attorney... these are your babies and at this rate you may end up losing them... Again Best wishes!

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N.B.

answers from Bangor on

I've never heard of any law like that. That would be trampling on people's rights and freedoms if there was such a law. I think your ex is just saying that because he doesn't want your daughter to live with you. I would talk to the police about whether there is such a law, but I seriously doubt there is.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

It is part of the divorce decree that you cannot have overnight guests of the opposite sex. I do not know if both parties have to agree to it though in order for it to be part of the decree.

Moving in with another man so quickly may not be the best choice for you. If the children do not currently reside with you, then the judge will take this into consideration when granting custody. You need your own place and you need a lawyer.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

you definately need to hire an attorney. And at your child's age, the judge may take into account her opinion on where she wants to live.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

The law doesn't say anything about it, but in can be part of the divorce decree if he requests it & the judge agrees; then, if you violated it, you would be in contempt. You need a lawyer to protect your rights now; it's going to be better to do that now than the struggle to get the original decree changed later.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I don't know about the laws in TX. But I can't believe your going thru a divorce and you don't have an attorney. Yes, you need one.

In most states when there is a custody battle (as long as both parents are capable of raising the child) the judge will usually meet with the child and honor the child's request.

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