Is There a Good Way to Get Rid of the Pacifier???

Updated on September 21, 2008
L.V. asks from Greeley, CO
52 answers

Hey Ladies,

I am having a very difficult time getting my son to loose the pacifier. He is incredibly attached to it and his doctor is strongly recommending he not have it in three months. My husband and I have tried cutting the top off, but he simply screams, throws it across the room and asks for his pacifier. We have also tried simply putting him to bed without it. He is a very determined child and the whole cry-it-out does not work for him. We spent thee hours (checking on him every 15-20 minutes) letting him cry and I CANNOT do it. Lastly, I am limiting the amount of time he has his pacifier, so he only has it right before going to sleep and it is gone when he wakes up.

He does have a blue bear as his lovely and only falls asleep with it. I am starting to notice he is more attached to the pacifier then the bear. Any suggestions are GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks-

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of your responses. I know my son is not ready to get rid of his pacifier and it really doesn't bother my that much. I am hoping he will be ready around age two. I was feeling a lot of pressure from his doctor and feeling like I was the only mom out there with a child over one using a pacifier. Thank you for reminding me to trust my instinct and for the get feedback.

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B.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Try cutting tiny holes in them. For a lot of children once the suction is gone they lose their appeal. This was how we finally got my son who was 2 at the time off of his. My son was one of those kids who always had one in his mouth. I have actually had other friends who have used this method as well and it has always worked.
Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi L.,
I have not read all of the responses, but I do agree with most of the suggestions I did read. I also let my kid have his pacifier a little longer than you (2 1/2) which was quite painful to me because it's a little pet peeve of mine. I tried cutting it, he had a nuk which lets air in and it doesn't work as well, and several of the other suggestions. It came down to trial and error and just knowing my kid's personality and the way responds to things. He was a little older and could reason a bit. We had several months of lightly discussing how he was growing up and would soon have to give up his pacifier. Finally one day on a whim he decided he wanted to throw away his pacifier. We made light of the whole deal (again a personality thing) and came up with a great story of how he recycled (big thing in my house) his pacifier and made a little baby very happy because he was a big enough boy to share with a little baby. I was very concerned about his age and remembering his pacifier better than a little baby, and his bite was a little off because of sleeping with the pacifier in his mouth. He just needed to work out the giving up the pacifier on his own (his being able to tell the story of recycling it helped), and his teeth and bite were perfect in about a month, no harm done. Just keep trying out different suggestions 'till you find one that works for you. Also, sometimes it's more difficult to hear a baby cry for the parents than it is for the baby. Good luck.

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi L. - sorry didnt take the time to read all of the responses. My best advice would be to take it slow and use lots of distractions. Don't make a big deal about taking it away and he will feel more safe when he doesnt have it. My son had his until 2 when we could explain "binky all done"

best of luck!!

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

The pacifier is NOT going to do damage until the permanent teeth start coming in. I've been a dental hygienist for 12 years and we deal with this issue a lot. Don't feel like you need to rush getting rid of it. Kids don't go to kindergarten with a pacifier. They get rid of it on their own with time so don't fret! Until he finds other ways to soothe himself he needs it. And when it's time you should replace it with something else soothing. This isn't something to worry much about!
When he's old enough to understand, only let him have it in his room. This really helped when we were helping our daughter cut down on hers. She was a die hard paci lover and I never thought she'd be able to give it up. She used it at night to sleep until she was four! We had tried everything and when she was ready it was easy. Don't let him resort to a finger or thumb...they are a lot worse for the teeth and occlusion. You're better off giving the pacifier back if he starts that. An open bite caused by a pacifier corrects itself amazingly fast once the paci is discontinued. I'm telling you although it's frustrating it's just not a big deal.

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S.T.

answers from Denver on

My son was also very attached to his pacifier, but like you we only allowed it at bedtime as he got older. I forget the exact age, but we told him that the binky fairy comes when he is so old and takes his binky and leaves him a prize for becoming a big boy. I think we even told him that he gives it to a new baby who doesn't have a binky (gross huh). Regardless, he was not really traumatized and never sucked his thumb afterwards. Good luck. S.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

COLD TURKEY! Making it drawn out is going to esculate his strong will. Take them up and put them in an envelope, let him see this so there isn't a breach of trust with it, tell him they are going to babies now since he is a big boy. Do not cave, he will cry, throw a fit and so forth, but do not cave. He knows now if he cries long enough you will give in....don't do it. You are the parent and you have to stick with it. Don't wait until bedtime to do this, do it during the day when if there is a fit, it won't roll over into his sleeping time.
Continue to gently explain he is too big for pacifiers now.
Put them in the trash but let him think they went in the mailbox. The next day have a big boy toy waiting for him as a reward for doing this.
He will ask, he will fuss and cry, night time may be tough a few nights but doing it once and for all, no exceptions is the only way to go.
I have broken two children (not my own) of this terrible habit with just such logic. Two boys I babysit for have had this nasty habit, both have SEVERE overbites and only grew more dependent after the age of one.
The one boy got a race car track from his parents, they told him if he wanted it the pacifiers had to go in the garbage and he did it himself. There were two nights of trouble then it was done.
The second child they just gathered them up and took them away and it was over with. He got a big boy truck the next day and it was over with.

It is a great thing to rid yourself of this dependency on something so damaging to teeth and speech. A lovey is a whole different story and every child should have that something special to sleep with. I personally had a blankie I slept with (secretly) until my teens then boxed it up and still have it! :) Both of my kids have their special things too to sleep with, but having something like a bottle or pacifier will just do damage and cause a harder habit to break.
Just do it, pick a weekend so if you need to rest after a hard night you can. I am betting in two weeks it will be done with and over with and you will have succeeded! :) I am blessed I never even thought to give my kids one after the one month mark and neither ever even wanted one...believe me I count my blessings on that one! :) Hang tough

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

He's one! Not sure why your Dr would be pushing hard for your son to give up the one main item he uses to soothe himself? My rule of thumb is to let them get all their teeth, roughly 2.5 to 3 y.o. They need something to exercise their mouth and give them comfort as their teeth come in. And when they get older it becomes MUCH easier to take the paci away. By then they've learned other comforting techniques and don't rely so much on a paci. Most Dentists will tell you that a paci is *just fine* until they are 3 since it doesn't affect their teeth until then. Also, a paci is much, much, much easier to take away than a thumb.

Maybe call your Dr and find what what the issue is first. If its just a personal thing with him, then use your instincts as a mom and don't worry what he has to say on this one topic.

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter was very attached to her binky too. I was really worried about getting rid of it. One of my friends suggested cutting the tips a little every day. We did this, and she decided that when they were "broken" she didn't like them, so she threw them away. I started with one, and eventually I cut all of them. The last one broke on its own and she threw it away by herself. We never had any problems, and she went to sleep just fine. It was nice letting her decide that they needed to be thrown away. Good luck!

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J.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

First I don't see anything wronge with him still having it? He's only one right?...Studies have shown that it doesn't effect their teeth and also reduces their risk for SIDS. But If you think it is time, We had the pacifier "fairy" come and take it away...She left a note and a little big boy prize. It helped some...everytime he saw a kid with a "binki" I though he would knock them over and steal it. He never did...Good Luck!

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E.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Many different pediatric dentists have told me that thumb sucking is a much bigger problem than limited pacifier use. I see no harm in keeping the pacifier as long as it is only at naptime or bedtime. Most of the time they only have it for an hour or so and then it winds up on the floor. Your son is so young, I wouldn't worry about it now.

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

Your son is only 1 year old, let him keep the binky! He will outgrow it eventually, you can cut down hi use of the binky really gradually, like her can only have it for bedtime and naps, and then in a few months he can only have it at bedtime and not for naps. My philosophy is to ley a baby be a baby, he will be a big boy soon enough, enjoy this precious time wihtout stressing over an insignificant detail like a binky. Also, your pediatrition sounds like a jerk.

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B.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't know if this will be any help to you but... I was extremely scared of what would happen when we finally decided to take the binkie away. Surprisingly, it went really well, now I know each child is different. With my daughter, she does have a blankie and lamb she likes to sleep with so i think it helped that she had something. But one morning i just asked her if she wanted to throw away her binkie because she was a big girl now. She said yes, and SHE threw it away. Now of course I hid extras in case of emergency. But it took 3 naps/bedtimes that she would ask for it, I told her she threw it away because she was a big girl. She whined a little but really not too bad. I have heard of tying ti to a balloon to float away, "giving it to a smaller baby," or telling them the doctor has to take it away at their doctor appt. All i can say is good luck, and rest assure, it will happen!

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L.L.

answers from Great Falls on

My question is why the dr is in such a hurry to get rid of the pacifier if your son is only 1 year old? I had both a thumb sucker and a pacifier hound, and I would much rather put up with the pacifier - so don't take the pacifier away only to have your son go to his thumb - that's much harder to get rid of. I would suggest slowly trying to wean him away - like you are doing - let him go to bed with it, maybe try to cut down on some daytime hours if he uses it in the daytime. My personal opinion is that 1 is a little young to suddenly take it away from him. If he was five and wanting to go to school with it, then I would worry. Best of luck.

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

Our daughter had a blanket she slept with, so when we were trying to get rid of the paci we sewed one to her blanket with a ribbon about 4 inches long or so, and threw all the other ones away, then when she really wanted her paci she chould have it, but it was too hard to play or do much of anything... once she started losing interest in it we talked to her about letting her pick out a new toy as soon as she got rid of the paci... it wasn't long before she was ready to cut it off and throw it away to get her new toy.

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E.H.

answers from Provo on

This is kidn of like the "binky fairy." When our daughter was 2, we encouraged her to let us write a letter to Santa, send him her binky, and get a toy in return. We had already been slowly wheening her from the pacifier until she pretty much only used it at night. It worked for us.

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K.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm not sure how old your child is, but both of my kids have been way attached to their pacies. With my son, I took it away when he was distracted and told him that the pacie fairy took his binkie for some babies that need it because he's such a big boy. Then when he went into his room he had a special new toy that the pacie fairy left for him. He was almost three though, so his understanding and readiness was there. My daughter is 27 months old and I want to get rid of it right now, but I don't think she's ready. It's a tough one, for sure!! Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Denver on

We just cut off the silicon part and told her it was broken but she was 18 months at the time but asked for it twice and that was the end. still to tis day you can ask he what happened to her pacifier and she will say it is broken and she is 26 months old.

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K.L.

answers from Boise on

Hi L.,
You sound concerned that the dr. would prefer the paci go away by three months from now. Little boys grow up and change so much in 3 months time. He could give it up on his own in that time. So take some time, don't worry yourself too much about this.

My daughter (now 21 mo.) was never much interested in a paci until she started spending time with other kids at playdates who were very committed to theirs. When she spends time with them, she wants her paci for the next several days. Go figure!

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H.G.

answers from Denver on

I would suggest getting a second opinion from another Dr. or dentist. Both my doc and dentist say not to worry about it. If they have a need to suck they will just replace the pacifier with their thumb. My boys are 2 now and I have weaned them down to using the pacifiers only when they go to sleep. After about 30 min or so after they fall asleep the paci falls out of their mouth.
Whenever they ask I stick to saying only at naptime and bedtime and now when one asks the other usually repeats it before I do:)

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

I have to tell you we let our kids have their "pie's" until they were like three or even four. At some point we did make it only at nap and bed times. My kids were all just hooked on them, they would have more than one at night and play with them to go to sleep. You don't alway's have to do what the dr, says! That said, in retrospect it probably would be easier now at one than later when they are more able to understand what is going on. So you could go cold turkey and endure a few nights of no sleep etc. Since we waited until later we did the bribe, trade the pacifiers for a toy at the store. My kids are 11, 9 and 5 and all their teeth are fine. Good luck!
And by the way, I see you are going to grad school, how is that going for you? I was thinking about going myself!

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M.P.

answers from Denver on

My pediatrition also recomended getting rid of the paci and I did with my first son around age two and I think it may have been too early for him because he immediately went to biting his nails...a really hard habit to break. The dr. kept telling me to get rid of the paci with my 2nd son and I waited until he was three. At that age you can talk to them so it is easier. With both kids we went to toys r us with all the pacifiers in a zip loc bag and gave them to the cashier for a toy of their choice. We told them that the pacifiers go to babies who need them. It worked like a charm. Both kids had three to five rougher nights but then they were fine. It was easy when they got upset to remind them of their awesome toy they picked out in exchange. Hope this is helpful.

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A.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I agree that he's probably too young. I'm wondering why your doctor said within "three months" for him. Does he show dental problems already or something? If not, then I don't think he's old enough to understand why he can't have one. My kids have all been very attached to pacifiers, and we haven't "weaned" them off them until at least two. We tried with each a little earlier than that, but they obviously weren't ready to give it up. For example, one of my twin boys would suck on his hands when he was upset and needed comfort when we tried to take the pacifier away. I would much rather have him suck on a pacifier than his almost always very dirty and germy hands... The twins are now 26 months, and we're about to start trying to take them away again. My older daughter was about the same age when we had her give all her pacifiers to the "Passie Fairy" for the same reason as the doll. The fairy was going to give all her old pacifiers to little babies who don't have any and need some. Then she got a prize. It worked well... but she was two. and could talk, and could reason and understand. Anyway... just something to think about. If the doctor has a good reason to wean him so early, then by all means do it. Otherwise, you may want to ask him what the harm is in letting him keep it a while... Good luck! It's never easy to break a child from a pacifier in my experience, but it can be done eventually.

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A.C.

answers from Denver on

Okay, this was a miracle for us. Think of something that your son REALLY wants (for our daughter is was a certain bicycle). We sat her down, told her that binkies are for babies and there are lots of sad little babies all over the world who don't have binkies, and how it would be so amazing for her give her binkies to the binkie fairy to give to those babies. So we took a bag and collected EVERY pacifier (I was praying we didn't forget one that she found). She was pretty hesitant at first, but her dad and I were stern with it. So that night, we made a big deal of hanging the bag of binkies in the tree with the words (Binkie Fairy) on it. Then, when she woke up in the morning, the bag was gone and her new bike was sitting there! It really did work miracles for us. She rarely has ever said a word about it since...and that was three years ago! GOOD LUCK!!!

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L.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

What's the hurry? Limiting it to sleep time is a good idea. I raised five kids and they all seemed to grow out of it on their own. I pushed my first boy to give up his and he started biting his nails. Maybe you going back to school has upset his world and he needs it for comfort.

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D.L.

answers from Fort Collins on

If there is one thing I've learned from having children, it's that you can't force them to do anything they're not ready for. You can continue to try to phase it out, but if he's so upset when you don't give it to him, it just causes more stress for him and it becomes something that he is more dependent on because of that stress. Just do little by little like you're already doing and he'll eventually lose the dependency. If he's anything like my daughter, we had to make everything seem like it was her idea somehow, she has always been that stubborn and independent. But try not to get stressed out over deadlines, every child does things at a different pace.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

Cold Turkey is really the only way... but you can do it in a fun way.
Gather them all up and tell him you are mailing them to the tooth fairy or whoever you want to mail them to. Perhaps his favorite cartoon or whatever you think would make him excited.
But whatever you do, you do have to physically mail them... even if it to a friends house. They can't be there for temptation on your part.

That doesn't mean that when bed times comes around he will realize that all the pacifiers have been mailed off and be calm about it, but it is really the only way to help him deal.
You just tell him that they have been mailed off and they are bye bye. He will be upset, but it will help you not to give in and dive in for the emergency one. You will have to deal with probably a few days/nights of no sleep and screaming, but you need to hold strong for his sake!

He will let them go and it will be a good thing for him in the long run. Just remember to remind them they went to a good place :)

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M.S.

answers from Boise on

Sometimes kids need their pacifier longer. I know your son is 1 and I had a firm belief that if they can walk, they don't need a pacifier. My twins were 20 months before they got rid of them. Here are a few things I did, and other people said to do. We tried cutting the tips, and that didn't work for us, however, slicing a whole in it so that when they sucked on it it wouldn't inflate worked for one of our kids. He tried to suck on it, got a confused look on his face, handed it back to us and said fix it. We told him that we couldn't fix it. He got initially upset, but every pacifier he found had the whole cut in it, he just gave up. With my daughter we had to cut the line over the tip, because she still would suck on it. Once it was cut over the tip then she gave hers up. And with my other son, we just slowly lost them.
Another idea would be to call up the local hospital's baby ward and talk to a nurse about giving the pacifiers to her to dispose. Then tell your son that he needs to give his pacifiers to the new babies because they need them. Then have him give them to the nurse in the baby ward and have her thank him so much for them, and she'll just throw them away after you leave. Then when he wants them at night remind him that he gave them to the babies in the hospital.

Another idea would be to have a pacifier party. This is where you go to the store and have him pick out something special like a stuffed animal or blanket, he really likes, then have a small cake and some helium filled balloons. Tie the pacifiers to the balloons and tell him that he needs to send his pacifiers to the babies in heaven. Then have him release his balloons, and celebrate. When he wants it at bedtime then you tell him that he gave his pacifiers to the babies in heaven since he's a big boy now and give him his special gift.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Unfortunately, what I have to say probably isn't going to be what you want to hear! We struggled for over a year trying to get rid of the passie with my daughter. Tried bribery, threats, and strongarm tactics. Listened to other mothers who had success with sending the pacifiers off to the orphanage for the poor babies who didn't have any, suggestions of sending it to Santa for the baby dolls he makes, etc. etc. etc. My daughter wasn't buying any of that. We cut off the tops - she sucked on the cut-up pacifiers. She was just too determined and strong-willed to do it until SHE was ready to do it. For months we had been talking about the Passie Fairy (who would bring her a special toy when she gave it away - she had picked out this special toy at Christmas time!), and had been talking about all the fun things she could do once she gave up the passie and was a "big kid." Then last May (she was 3 1/2 yrs. old, which was WAAAAY too old I know, but it wasn't for lack of trying on our part!), one day we made the suggestion to throw them away and she said OK!!! She picked what she wanted to do with the old passies (she decided to throw them in our pond), and she never looked back!!! We delayed the Passie Fairy visit a few days (to make sure she didn't change her mind!), and followed through with her special toy. We also planned a trip to Elitch's to show her the fun things that "big kids" can do. She never once asked for it again. Like your son, she seemed to become more attached to it right before she gave it up - wanted it ALL the time, not just naps/bedtime. And she has never had another lovie - no blanket, toy, etc. I fully believe that the harder we pushed, the more defiant she got! Once it was HER decision, she was OK with it. Good luck, I know this is a super tough one and I totally feel for you!!!

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C.M.

answers from Boise on

Take it from me, I've got four children anad they ALL were "binky babies". My first two are 21 months apart. My mother-in-law was quite certain that my son get rid of his binky before his little brother came!! What a nightmare that turned out to be!! It was a constant fight over the binky's until my older son discovered his thumb!! Well you can't remove the thumbs so needless to say he sucked his thumb until he was SEVEN :( We finally had to have an appliance put in his mouth so he couldn't get the suction! Obviously your little man is NOT ready to give up his beloved "friend"! Don't push him unless his teeth are in jeopardy!
He is still pretty little and probably still needs the comfort. When he is ready he will be more than willing I am sure of it, to give his binky to the "binky fairy"!
Good luck!!

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J.R.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi L.,

Why does he have to lose it? He is still young and wanting something to suck on, so what? If the pacifier is orthodontically correct there is no reason he shouldn't have it until he can understand what "lost" means. We "lost" my kid's pacifiers when they could understand what lost meant and it worked out fine. I did limit time they could have it though, naps and bedtime and that's it. Good luck.

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M.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I agree with many of the mamas that your child is too young for this battle. If your son is only using it before he goes to bed, you're already way ahead of the game.

Maybe now you can just talk to him about a milestone of when he would have to give up the pacifier. And lay off the tricks and just talk about it for a few weeks.

It could be when he turns two, or when you set a date for a pacifier party, or when you visit the hospital to give it to a baby that needs one.

Encourage him to give it up on his own "in a while." By preparing him and including him in the process, you might have it easier when it's time to give it up.

My older son sucked his thumb and had a lovey (pillowcase) since he was 5 months old. He stopped sucking his thumb when he was 5 *years* old - just 6 months ago.

We were able to talk about consequences and the fact that it was a habit. He gave it up on his own without any tricks or pressure from me.

That was our experience, and although he was older than I would have liked when he gave it up, I'm glad he did it on his own without us fighting about it.

Good luck to you!

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J.B.

answers from Great Falls on

I haven't read the other responses, but I'll share what we did. Our son LOVED his pacifier and I was very worried how he would do when we took it away, but he did great. He was almost 2 when we finally had enough guts to try to take it away! Anyway, we threw a Bye-Bye Plug (what we called the pacifier) Party. I made a cake, we played games, and had decorations. The last game we did was try to drop all the plugs we could find into a box from standing on a chair. Once they all made it in, we closed up the box and "mailed" the plugs to our new baby cousin. We made a big deal about how baby would need these more than our big boy. He took the box out to the mailbox, said bye to his beloved plugs and never asked for them again. (Don't worry - we didn't really mail them to a new baby! I snuck out to the mailbox later and hid the box in my closed - just in case) We finished up the night by eating cake and talking about all the big boy things he could do. I can't believe how well it worked. I don't know if it was his age or what, but this worked for us. For the first week after the party, he would say, "Baby has my plugs." Like he was reminding himself. I did take him longer to go to sleep for a couple of weeks, but eventually it all smoothed out. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

J.

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M.N.

answers from Pocatello on

Why does the doctor want it gone? Is it a orthodontal thing? I think he is still young and it is ok for him to have it. I agree with limiting it. My daughter only had it in bed at this age, but it helped her sleep. He still needs to suck for comfort would be my guess. If you really want it gone, you could try encouraging him to suck his thumb, but that is hard to give up and can't be "snipped". I guess I don't know how to help, because my daughter was older when we took it from her. Then we really didn't have too hard atime. We had a friend who had a baby and told my daughter he needed the "binky" so she should give it to him. She was only too happy to give something to the baby. Not thrilled to leave without it and bed was tough that night, but she adapted quickly.
Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Billings on

Is there a reason that the Dr. is "strongly" suggesting you get rid of the pacifier? It sounds like the only time he has it is at bedtime. Does he sleep better with it? Do you get more sleep when he has it? Maybe I'm a softy but he is only one and there is plenty of time to ease him out of the habit before it becomes a dental problem (around 3-4). I have already come up with an idea to help my son to get rid of his when the time comes. He is 6mo. now and like your son only uses his bink at night for comfort. Maybe it will help.
Have a big goodbye party for the bink. Attach it to some balloons and let him release them. Take a picture to remind him during difficult times. Good Luck.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

Cold turkey might work. You will have some tough nights, but since he has his bear, he won't be left completely without comfort.
Here's what my sister did. She told her kids (both of them, when the time came) that they were getting so big and didn't need a paci anymore. So when they all broke, they wouldn't buy any new ones. It was really gradual that the paci's "broke." My sister just poked a small hole in it with a pin. That made it useless to suck on. The child would look at it like, "what happened?" They'd decide together that it was broken, and the child threw it away. A few days (or maybe a week, I don't know) later, another one would mysteriously "break."
We haven't had that problem because my boys didn't do pacis. But let me tell you that doctors aren't always right. My older son sucked his thumb. He would sleep anywhere at any time without any fussing, and could soothe himself anywhere. And then he gave it up with hardly a fight. But when my second son found his thumb, my husband and doctor both insisted that I nip it in the bud. It was heartbreaking to deny him that source of soothing. Now, i was fighting with a 2 month old, which is different than a one-year old. But I knew in my gut that it was the wrong thing to do. Well, I suffered for a year and a half because I did what that doctor said to do. He wouldn't sleep anywhere but in his own bed. He never napped at church, which meant that he cried through most of it because he was so tired. It was awful. I'm never doing that again!
So trust your mother's instinct and follow it.
And a note about crying it out---my older son was great at CIO. He never cried for more than 5 minutes unless something was really wrong. But my second just does not CIO. He gets himself more worked up. Now that he's 2, though, if I let him cry for a few minutes, all I have to do is go in, wipe his tears and his nose, give him a hug, and he'll calm right down. He feels abandoned when I try to make him cry it out, so he's forgotten what he was upset about in the first place! When I come in and take care of him, very tenderly, he feels safe and secure again. And he still doesn't remember what he was upset about to begin with.

That idea about the mailbox sounds fun. I would have HIM put them in the mailbox, though, then when he takes a nap, switch them for a new toy. And then, for goodness sake, triple bag the pacis and take them to the dumpster! If he finds them, you'll be worse off than when you started!

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B.B.

answers from Denver on

L.,
I wanted to get my daughter off of hers as soon as I could, and I too asked questions online and found that putting/cutting holes in the tip of the pacifier is what helped the most. They love the sucking, and once you start to take that sensation away, it makes them not want them as much, while tricking them too at the same time. I would highly recommend that. Within a couple of months of this, I was able to ask her to just throw them away, and she did, we had a rough week, but start encouraging the "Big Kid" thing and you will be ok. I have also heard people doing the cold turkey, and I didn't find that approach as easy as cutting the holes, then having them throw them away.
I hope this helps.

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T.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My oldest was attached to her binkie too. When she would put it down while playing or eating... we would simply pick it up and put it where she couldn't see it. If she went looking for it I would try to distract her. At nap and bed time, I was like you and couldn't listen to her cry. So She would get it just long enough to fall asleep, then I would take it out of her bed. The length of time we would take it away was gradually extended to where she would go most the day with out it. We didn't have to do this until she was closer to 2, but I would not have waited until after she turned 2. The longer it takes to get rid of it. Good luck.

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T.V.

answers from Denver on

I don't know why your dr wants you to get rid of it so soon. I think the stress your putting on you and your son to stop is too much. I think you should let him continue using it and when he gets close to turning 3 thats when you try to get him to stop. Listen, my 8 month old is a thumb sucker, is the dr going to tell me she needs to stop by the time she is 15 mos.?! That would be impossible!

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T.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

i watched an episode of suppernanny and she suggested making it a big deal to throw it away-explain that he is a big boy now, he does not need it, etc. Then tell him he is all done and he can throw it way now. have him put it in the trash (all of them). i think she had a present for him -once it was in the trash. If hours or days later he wants it, remind him he is a big boy and dose not need it , find another toy to play with or comfort him with. good luck

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

why is the dr recommending this? 1 is a really young age to except the child not to still have an incredible need to suck, that is just one of the things that baby's need. if he's not on bottles or nursing and has nothing else to suck on, this may be really really difficult for him. and he's also a little young to be explaining that he can't have a pacifier. unless there's a medical reason, I'd let him continue on with the pacifier and maybe even past 2 years. 2 years is a REALLY difficult time to ask a child to give something up, referred to as "asking a smoker to quite cold turkey in the middle of a very stressful situation" because there is so much emotional turmoil that 2 year olds go through in understanding themselves and the world. i'm not understanding the dr. recommendation. you need to go with your heart. if you feel like your little guy still has a strong need to suck and have his paci, the just let him have it. the dr is only making recommendations, you need to decide as the mother who knows your baby boy better than anyone, as to whether you should follow that recommendation or not. kids give up "baby behaviors" at different stages, and some of these behaviors last until 5, 6, 7 years old. i'm not saying he'll still have a paci at 7, but he may still be attached to a stuffed animal or blanket for a lot longer. they don't just grow up because they're 1 or 2 or 3. good luck, go with your gut.

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M.G.

answers from Fort Collins on

I agree with Jen L. We tried to get rid of our son's pacifier by age 2 because of outside pressure. He also only used it for sleep time. We instantly went from having a wonderful sleeper to dealing with constant night time battles and sleep disruptions. A few weeks into the painful process, our son came down with mono. Knowing how much he needed to rest, we gave back the pacifier. We let him keep it for another year. When he was 3, and old enough to understand why he didn't need the pacifier anymore, we talked to him about it and threw it away. He didn't put up a fight, had no sleeping issues, and it hasn't come up again since (this was years ago). As my pediatrician told me at the time, "some kids just need to suck". He was one of those kids, and yours may be too. Good luck- and just remember, you never see a child graduating from high school with a pacifier in his mouth- he won't want it forever ;-)

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J.L.

answers from Provo on

I'm not going to say anything too different from anyone else. First I am always a little leery when doctors get hasty like that or have too strong of an opinion on something. Because the fact is, is that you could go to a different doctor and they might say the exact opposite. For example, some doctors insist you need to start solid foods at 4 months, while others say you must wait till at least 6 months. I'm so glad my doctor is very open-minded. As far as the pacifier thing goes, I wouldn't worry about it. My daughter will be 3 in February and she still insists on using one for sleeping time. We also have a 10 1/2 month old who uses them so we need them for him, and I'm just not ready to battle that when we have to have them until she is old enough to understand. Maybe I'll do it for her 3 year old birthday.Anyways, good-luck.

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J.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

As a mom of 5, all of whom used a pacifier, I think your pediatrician is being a little hasty. Unless there is a medical reason which you didn't disclose, I have never heard there is a health reason to get rid of the pacifier before about 2-3 years old. I know it's hard to say no to a doctor, but you are the mom. You are the ultimate caretaker. It's your responsibility. So, do some research, get input from lots of sources, and make a decision that you think is right. Sometimes doctors are wrong, and sometimes their personal opinions are pushed upon their patients. I have gotten second opinions before and found out that a medical professional was dead wrong about something. It took me years, but I have come to a place where I feel that with good information from a variety of reputable sources, my decisions are as valid as any doctor's. Of course you would have to be very careful not extending your decision-making into areas of knowledge that are extremely technical, etc. But if you feel he is not ready to get rid of the pacifier, it sounds to me like you have a great plan implemented already (just for bedtime, and it's gone in the morning.) Best of luck!

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K.G.

answers from Denver on

Relax, as long as he is not taking it to Kindergarten, then you are fine with letting him pick the time he is ready to give it up. Some toddlers, especially boys, just need that extra comfort until they are two or so. If you forcibly take away the pacifier now, he may switch to his thumb and THEN you will have a real problem later on. My sons begin taking their pacifiers out of their mouths and using them more as toys the closer they got to age two and eventually they didn't even bring them along when we left the house etc. Then they just held them in their hand when they slept, then they just stopped picking them up anymore and we were done-no tears! You have lots of time so save your stress for something important : )

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J.N.

answers from Colorado Springs on

From the few posts I read I would agree...let your son decide when he's ready. My doctor wanted our daughter using sippy cups by 15-16 months, but was not concerned with the "B". Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

I don't have a single photo of my daughter before the age of 18 months without a pacifier in her mouth. We tried to gradually remove it from her, for instance we stopped ever offering it and when she wanted it we would try gentle distractions like games, Goldfish, etc, but we tried to not make it a flashpoint. At approx 18 months we had a new babysitter here for a week and we told her to pretend she didn't understand the baby's 'sign' for the pacifier, and it worked. She was just ready for it to go. Good luck

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L.C.

answers from Denver on

Honestly, he's still pretty young. Maybe you can limit when he has his pacifiier.. ie. only in his bed. I was lucky, when we moved to the next stage of pacifier for my son he didn't care for it and was done. Nephew was 2 in July and he still has his but he may only have it in his bed. So if he wants it during the day then he has to get in his crib. It's a comfort thing for him. Try introducing a lovey of some sort that he can also use. That sucking sensation is very soothing to children... I wouldn't stress so much about it.. personally.

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J.C.

answers from Boise on

Hi L., Mabe try cutting only a tiny hole in the pacifier. Also with my son I did the same thing. When He noticed the hole in it I said oh no its broke. I also made sure before this to get all of the pacifiers out of the house.This way I wouldnt be tempted to give Him another. We also live 15 miles to the nearest store so that helped.He did cry and fuss .I decied with My next two children not to even bother with a pacifier I didnt offer or buy any. This way I wouldnt have to even deal with it again it was so nice. I wish you good luck! J.

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P.U.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi L.,

I'm puzzled as to why your doctor thinks your son needs to be off the pacifier at this point. My daughter was also VERY attached to her pacifier and I didn't really worry about it at one year old. At about 2-1/2 we started to work on taking it away from her. We'd just take it out of her mouth at times she was distracted with something else, and then eventually we just took all of them and threw them away. She just seemed ready because after a while of looking for one, she just gave up and never missed it. My friend did a cute thing with her daughter. When her daughter was about 3, she made a little "pacifier doll", sort of like a tooth fairy doll. She said that she was now too old to have a pacifier and she could give them all to the doll who would then give them to little kids who needed them, and in return she would get a present. It worked great. Good luck to you, I hate to go against your doctor's advice, but it's my opinion that at 1 they might still need that comfort -- especially at night.

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R.T.

answers from Provo on

I don't know if there is an easy way... we're going through the same thing with my 14 month old daughter. She's been SO addicted to it. Luckily cutting the tip off worked for us (at least I think... we cut a little off last night and she spit her binky out for her morning nap today. I would say if that hasn't worked for you just get rid of them and stick to it... go cold turkey. You'll have a couple of tough days (and nights) but give it 3 or 4 days and he'll be over it (for most kids, behavior modification can be done in 3 days given a cold turkey switch approach). Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I didn't read all the responses, so this may be a repeat, but is there a way you can put the pacifier IN the bear? I have heard of people taking their children to Build a Bear and putting their binkies in the bears as they are being stuffed...maybe you could undo the stitching of your son's special blue bear, and have him push the pacifier in there, and then sew it up, so he can still have it with him at bed time, just not in his mouth.

E.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I wouldn't worry too much at his age. He is still a baby. I think it is great he is only taking it while in his crib.

My son is almost 2.5 and still has his! I know, I know. He only has it when sleeping. Like your son, it is the ONLY thing my son is attached to. He doesn't need a blankie or a stuffed animal. He can sleep anywhere if he has his security - his pacifier.

Now, we are getting to the point (or are already past it) where we really need to get rid of it altogether. We actually only have one left and haven't bought any new ones in over a year. We've slowly been getting rid of his supply.

I read some really good ideas about getting rid of the pacifier - cutting them, making them disappear, giving them to other babies, having a party, exchanging it for a new toy, etc... - honestly, I think 1 is too young to understand a lot of those things. Maybe in 6 months he'll understand those kinds of actions more.

My favorite idea...which we may end up doing with my son, especially since he is now old enough to understand it all....is to go to the Build a Bear Workshop and let him pick out a new stuffed friend, then put the pacifier inside the animal (with the hearts) when it is being made. That way he will always have his last pacifier...but won't be able to use it! :o) I thought that was a cute idea.

Try not to worry too much. Good luck!
L.

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