Is There a Big Difference Between 3 Kids and 4 Kids?

Updated on January 22, 2008
K.C. asks from Kincaid, WV
7 answers

I have 3 children. A 10 year old girl, a 7 year old boy, and a 17 month old boy. I was overwhelmed at first between the difference between having 2 and 3 kids. Now I have adjusted and would really like one last child. How hard is it to adjust to the fourth kiddo. We have a 4 bedroom home and the typical 7 passenger van. Two would be in school...anyone "been there, doing that"?

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answers from Charleston on

I have a 7 yr old, a 5 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 2 month old. The transition has not been more difficult than when I went from 2 to 3. The good thing is that your kids are old enough that they can help out a little with things around the house and even a little babycare if you had another one. My older two boys were very excited about a new baby and have tried to help out in different ways. The two year old is still a little young to understand it all and we have had to deal with some jealousy issues. ( nothing major though) Do your husband and kids like the idea of another sibling? If so and if they re willing to go the extra mile to help out when mommy has a newborn and a toddler to deal with, the transition would most likely be smooth. . The hardest part is trying to balance family activities with age appropriate activities for each child. If everyone is committed to helping out then it can work out.



answers from Goldsboro on

We have five kids in total (3 girls/2 boys ages 4 to 13). I totally agree with the you on the adjustment of going from two to three. It was very difficult for me also. My mother told me that the third child would be hard. I thought she meant physically because they out number you at that point, but for me it was more emotional than physical.
When we added our fourth to the mix it went a lot smoother. Unlike you though, my first one was just starting kindergarten within days of my fourth one being born so I still had three little ones at home. We have since added a fifth child to our family and that went fine.



answers from Raleigh on

There isn't much of a difference. Three kids is a real handful and the fourth will blend right in once they are a little older. It will be chaotic for awhile, but it'll past just like before. I have three girls and a step daughter. No boys, which is fine with me (I have enough overly energetic nephews). I don't have four kids all the time, but I try to get her as much as possible. I'm 28 and my girls are 11, 10, 9, and 3. The oldest ones are great helpers and since they are girls, it's even better. We all bond so well. I wanted a bunch of kids, but I had to think about it from a more responsible point of view. I felt like I would be spreading myself thin. My third child was an "oops" baby. Although I never "tried" to have any of them, I really wanted to be done with two because it was such a good fit, but then came my baby girl. Anyway, I think you could do it with no problem if you already have three. Hopefully, you'll get another girl!!



answers from Raleigh on

Not really. I have 4 (2 boys, 2 girls) plus 3 stepsons, who are around occasionally- age range of full-timers is 5 - 17. The only real difference is the amount of food eaten and the noise level, but that will vary depending on boys/girls, social life, etc. It all comes down to money. It costs more for family activities, sports, movies, shoes, etc. Also, if you go back to work, the day care is ridiculous until they're all in school. It's also very hectic when they get to be school age, with all the different homework you have to check, the teachers you have to keep in touch with, the afterschool activities, and the like. The hardest thing for me is when they all try to talk to me at once. But, they like to do chores and earn an allowance, and there's more of a chance that at least one of them will like you at any given time. :) Good luck!



answers from Charlotte on

We are in the same boat. I'm a 36 year old stay at home mom. I would be interested in any responses as well : ).



answers from Asheville on

Going from three to four kids is not a big deal. I have four and like you I have 2 in school. It was a bigger adjustment for me to go from 2 to 3. My third will be going to school this coming year and so it isn't so bad. I think for me the hardest thing is having lots of appointments and finding someone to either go with me or keep the kids that doesn't have an appointment. :)
The older ones are a big help with watching the younger ones if I need to get laundry or supper done also. Have a great day!!



answers from Wilmington on

I am a mother of three, but I had 3 sisters growing up when I was little, so there were 4 of us. The thing I have noticed about the fourth child is that the kids tend to pair off when a fourth comes. It may take a while, and you have big age differences, but eventually they will form their bonds. I too was surprised at the difference between 2 and 3 kids. I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal, because I had already been a mommy to 2, but the third one was an absolute blessing, and the other 2 liked the idea of being able to help.
I hope things work out well for you.

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