I also agree 3 days a weeks is plenty. Every child is different, but if you can I would send 3 days until Kindergarten. They have 13 years of school everyday. And free play is so important at this age.
My daughter just turned 3. I’m debating weather to take her 3x/week or full week to pre-school this year (she was in school 2x/week from 2 1/2 year) I wanted to start 5x/week next semester but her teacher says she cannot guarantee there will be a spot because it’s half year. She has a spot now so I feel under pressure to make a decision.
In a way I feel my daughter is intellectually ready but not emotionally. Then there’s the expense issue.
You probably went through similar questions. Am I the one who is attached and am I’m robbing my child of growing smarter – or does she really needs more time with mommy?She acts and talks like a grown-up sometimes but she is so much happier when I spend time with her!
The teacher thinks she will be better in a group if she comes everyday (as in sitting quietly instead of having her own ideas of other things to do) - she does extremely well on a one-on-one basis.
My gut feeling is she won’t and will be a wreck when she is back with me ( as she usually is when I travel for work) and that defeats the whole purpose... Or worse, she will misbehave and hate school because she misses home ( where she recharges emotionally). She loves school now and loves to learn, bu she is never bored at home. I myself spend a lot of time "teaching" her things, both academic, and a lot of art, pretend play, taking her new places,and taking her to music, swimming, gymnastics, etc.
Is it really necessary for a child this young to be in school 5x/week?
Gee – what a dilemma - is it worse or better when they go to College?
I also agree 3 days a weeks is plenty. Every child is different, but if you can I would send 3 days until Kindergarten. They have 13 years of school everyday. And free play is so important at this age.
She is little. Three days should be enough. She does need you and you are not robbing her of opportunites of growing smarter. Read to her, take her places and talk about the different foods in the grocery store, talk about trees and the different shaped leaves, the ants and bugs. Have her help you cooking and with sorting clothes She need to be near you and develop a really close relationship which will last for a lifetime and you are really her best teacher.
None of my three sons started school until 5 and they now are a doctor, college professor, and financial accountant. Enjoy her, help her grow and don't send her everyday to school at such a young age.
Dear T W,
No, it is not necessary for a three year old to be in school 5 times a week. She needs some down time at home and mommy time at home, and she will be juuuuuust fiiiiiine with 2 days a week. No kidding. past preschool teacher, day care, and third grade and sixth grade teacher.
All your little girl needs right now is you. As you said, you can teach her everything yourself and give her the emotional reassurance she needs at the same time.
Haha - the dilemmas! Well, I think that if you have the option to be home with her for 2 of those days, then you should do it. She'll be in school 5 times per week soon enough, and you'll never get that time back that you could be spending with her. But that's just my opinion :o)
My daughter is 3 and will be starting preschool for 2 half-days in a couple weeks, so I've had the same debate myself. I think she'll love it (she loves Sunday School at the church where her preschool will be), but I really feel that she'll benefit greatly from getting to spend time with me a good deal of the week as well.
I have taught pre-school in the past and honestly, at your daugher's age, three days a week is plenty for her. Children at three years old still tend to have a hard time having to share the adults with so many other children and three days is plently for your daughter to get the social skills that she needs through being around other children her age.
Also, if there ever is a regret it is almost always that the parent feels that their children were at school too much. I have not heard anyone say that they wish they sent their child more.
Do what you think is best for her, not what the teacher says.
less is more!
-coming from a preschool director/teacher of 15 years!
I would keep her home as much as possible. Why have someone else raising your child when you can do it yourself and you seem to be doing a great job!!
Being with mom and having time to just "be" is very important for a 3 year old. Starting at 5 she will be in school 5 days a week for the next 12 - 16 years. Right now the way she learns is through play. The time goes so fast and this is a very precious time for you. I see no reason to stress both her and you by putting her in pre-school 5 days per week. Enjoy your time with your daughter!
J., mother of a 29 year old son and 26 year old daughter, grandmother of a 1 year old grandson.
I am just wondering why the rush to move her from 2 to 3 days? At 3, she's barely out of "toddlerhood". Why rush it? I started mine for 2 days for both of them and they were totally fine with it! Never acted bored, lonely, etc, the remaining days they were home, and I also used that time to take them to the park, do an occasional craft, etc. The next year we put them in 3 days and that worked out well, too. Enjoy this time with your daughter---it goes by faster than you can even imagine, and do you want to look back and wonder why you were in such a hurry?? I cannot tell you how precious this preschool time is, or how much your daughter is going to enjoy her mornings "off" with mommmy---not having to hustle and get ready, a lazy morning if that's what you want, a fun walk around the block on a nature hunt, etc.
your little one is only with you for so long before they are in school full time, with friends and then off to college. Enjoy your time with them, don't rush the inevitable :)
My son is a Sept baby. He started preschool a month before he turned 3. I sent him 3 days a week. He had been going to day care 3 days a week before then so I kept it the same - I thought 5 days would be too much. The following year for Pre-K, I sent him 5 days a week. Kindergarten is 5 days so the 5 day Pre-K gets them prepared. He was tired the first couple of weeks but made the transition ok. I think 3 days is perfect for a 3 year old unless you have to work everyday and need to have her in school every day.
She's only 3 years old. She will have to go 5 days a week soon enough when Kindergarten starts. Both my kids have gone only 3 days a week. I loved that there were two days a week to have playdates or gymnastics or ballet... Her schedule will get so packed once K starts and there wont be as much time for that sort of thing.
Just my honest opinion!
I think it depends on the child. You have already given your daughter a great start with the education you are teaching her about the world around her. Let her be three, she has plenty of time to be structured later. If you feel it is wrong for her please trust yourself.
My son started at three and a half because I was pregnant and wanted to put him in school before the baby so that he wouldn't associate his sister with being sent away to school. He went t/th, and then at four it changed to M/W/F. He did great with that type of the program.
My daughter didn't start until she was newly four because of cost. She was more than ready and begged to go to school. The program she entered was five days a week. I was concerned about the schedule but she loved it and excelled.
I feel that preschool was beneficial to both my kids equally even though my son went less days. I was lucky with having great teachers that really bonded with each of my kids. I think that is a HUGE consideration for you. How well do you like her teacher, better yet, how well does your daughter like her? I think the teacher would make all the difference in the world. Trust your heart and your mommy gut. Good luck!!!
I'm glad you feel better. Just goes to show you that YOU know your child best and you should always trust your gut instincts.
Every child is different. My first born son was is very outgoing. I started 2x a week, then 3 then by the end of the year he was going 5 days no problem. Age 4 I put him in 5 days and he was as happy as a clam.
My daughter (now 4) is more quiet and needs a smaller class where she knows everyone. She enjoyed 3 mornings (9-12) but I put her in 2 extra days at the last quarter, last year (different set of kids and parents - it's a co-op) and she didn't like it.
We did not get in 5 days this year (so she'll be going MWF until a spot opens up) but maybe this is "for the best." We'll see.
I did consider Montessori schools and it's so funny to me how some (not all) schools will push the parent to put the child in MORE days and hours than they have to. They wanted my daughter 5 days at age 3.5 (full day) and I am afraid she would have rebelled because she does miss me when I'm not there.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to just because a preschool says it's "good for your child." People are individuals and need different things at different times.
Follow your heart, but I personally think that five days a week is way too much school for a three year old (unless you HAVE to leave her there so you can work). Kids are only little once, and if you can be with her, you should be as much as you can. Good luck! :)
Trust yourself. It is always good to ask advise and make your choice for yourself. Nobody knows your child more then you and nobody is going to love or want the best for your daughter but you. If you always ask yourself am I doing it for me I want or need time for myself or doing for my child because she is crying and it breaks my heart to see her sad or I will miss my child ect it is not for your child but for yourself. If she already goes to school 2x a week and you work with her and do social outings she will do just fine. Take advantage of the time you do have with your child because they grow up to fast and can only be a kid for so long and can go to school for the rest of there lives if they choose. Best of luck
I am in the childcare field and both schedules can work. If you do not need her to go full days, can you opt for 5 1/2 days?
If your having to ask yourself this question, then it so clear to me. Just wait. In two years she'll enter into our school system and have to go x5/week. This time with your girl is going to fly by and you'll never get it back.
The school is only interested in the money from filling the full time spot. You need to always go with your gut, that's what sets mothers apart from the rest...we have great intuition. NOw just listen to it.
I see you have made your decision and I am so happy to hear that you are only doing 3x's a week. At 3 years old, she does not have to grow up so quickly!! Keep her home and love her, that is the best lesson at this age.
It really depends on your child's emotional level, and how good of a school your sending your daughter too. But if you ask me, for the sake of consistency I would put her 5 days a week. When I say that, I don't mean all day kinda thing, but perhaps 9-12 (if that's offered). My daughter just turned 2 and we are sending her 5 days a week 9-12. Her pediatrician recommended that over every other day and so did a child psychologist we spoke to, because we had the same fears as you. They both stressed that consistenccy is very important, as well as their need to be with kids their OWN age. This way they learn to cope better in life and deal with life situations. When your daughter is at home she doesn't learn how to share (for example), and interact with kids her own age. I had more fears about all this than you can imagine but I was pregnant so I wanted to make sure my daughter was in school for a few months when the baby came so she wouldn't think I sent her to school because we had another baby (that was my main driving force). I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago at about 4 months and was thinking not to send her... we're not expecting anymore... and we could even save almost $10,000 by keeping her at home an extra year now... but then I thought why not? I want her to have friends her own age, gain self esteem and be independent.
Good luck on whatever you choose and keep us posted!
I am an Asst. Director of a preschool and in my opinion, If your intention is to have her 5 days a week next semester, then starting her 5 days a week now is not such a big deal.
Some children actually do better when they are going 5 days because it immerses them into a consistent routine that children love.Especially if you travel so much, your daughter may do a bit better with that.
Is this preschool half day? If so, that would be great and very appropriate for a 3 year old. Then, on the days you don't travel, maybe the afternoons can be reserved for mommy/daughter time.
Regarding her behavior, it is obvious that she is reacting to your being gone. Not to add guilt on top of guilt, but 3-4 times a week traveling is a lot for any child of any age. Her acting out to you may be because she can't seem to find the words or is trying to understand the feelings she has regarding your being gone.(yes, even really articulate children sometimes need help sorting out feelings) Talk to her about that and acknowledge her feelings. Help her find the words. Also, while you are away, have your husband help her write a letter to you. She can give him the words as he writes it out and then she can a draw a picture and "sign" her name. We have used this technique in our school for children who are having a hard time separating from mom or Dad and it always helps to stop the tears.
Good luck to you!
Absolutely she does not need to be in class 5 days a week. It sounds like neither of you are ready for that. My daughter just started Kindergarten this year, and academically speaking, she is learning the same things (letters and numbers) as in preschool. I'm glad I didn't shell out the dollars for more than 3 days. She is ahead of a lot of the kids in the class right now, but they will catch up in a few weeks. They will be in school for so long, enjoy the few short years you have with them. If your daughter is having a hard time with school going every other day, find a preschool (and most of them will) that will allow her to attend 3 days together (mon, tues, wed; for example). That made a HUGE difference for us.
Hi! I am a Mom who works at home, my kids are 16 months apart and a little older (11 and 12) now. I can only share what worked for me-I kept my kids in preschool just 2-3 1/2 days a week when they were 3 years old. It was a Montessori and great, but my husband was in school and it was just too much on our budget. the year before they went to kindergarten (when they were 4) I increased it to 5 times a week just to get them used to being in school every day.
I think if you can do it, you should leave your daughter in just 2 days a week. You sound like a good Mom, offering her alot of experiences and stimulation. I think the preschool might be financially motivated in encouraging your daughter to take the 5 day a week spot. If she doesnt get it this year and if you can deal with that with your work, I would say just leave it at 2 days a week. they grow up so fast....enjoy these times and good luck! J.
I'm thinking she has 2 years before Kindergarden right, I don't know how many hours a day pre-school is but 5 days seems like day care not pre-school. The year before she goes to kindergarden she can go 5 days a week. The funny thing is with my son Pre-school was longer hours then kindergarden, so when he went to kindergarden it was almost to easy. She'll be in school for 12 years plus college, why are you in such a hurry to push her off to school. Most of us want to keep them home and not let them grow up. Slow down, school will be here before you know it.
You don't want her to hate going before she even starts. 3 days is plenty, then love her and be with her the rest of the time. J.
You know what the answer is, don't you?? You are just looking for support, right? She is a very small child and there is no reason why she needs to be doing calculus and writing dissertations. My own daughter is 3 1/2 and I was prevented from putting her into preschool for 2 days a week by extenuating circumstances, but I found another way and she is in 2 days a week and is SOOOOO happy. There is no reason to think that if your child gets 2 fewer days of preschool that she will fall behind later in school. Enjoy your time with her, because she'll be in kindergarten 5 days a week before you know it and then you will wonder where all of those precious moments went!!
Hi T W, Children need a balance of playtime with mom and dad and play time with kids their own age. I attended mommy and me classes with both my boys, my daughter went to preschool in Japan 4 hours a day 3 days a week, her brothers were both in school, and she needed to have time away from me, to help her learn to be secure, and also to play with other kids her age. When it came to starting kindergarten, she was more than ready. J.
Please don't send your 3 year to school 5 times a week! Preschool is NOT about learning, it is about socialization and playing.
In a couple of years, you will not have the option of going less than 5 days, so keep her home with you. You have already said that you enjoy spending time with her and teaching her things. And since you travel a lot, I'm sure that it's hard on her when you are gone.
You are her first and best teacher, so take the time now to enjoy your little girl because they grow so fast. Remember if you have other children you will not have the time to give her your undivided attention, so I say enjoy it while you have the time! 3 days a week is plenty of time for her to be in school. If she really wants and likes to go to school then send her next year 5 days, but I like to keep my kids at home a day or so while they are in preschool. Go with your heart!
I tried it both ways. First, I tried a preschool when she was 3 for 3 half days per week. At first, it was fine. However, after 1 month, she hated it. She never really got used to going because of the constant change in routine during the week. At 3-1/2 I put her in a wonderful, highly structured program through Newport Mesa Unified School District. Its 5 days a week - 1/2 days. She finished the whole school year and the summer session without ever complaining. She LOVES it. In fact, its been hard for her to be off for the month of August. She misses it so much. We can't wait for September. I felt really good leaving her there, unlike the first place.
If you want more information about her program, let me know. In any case, from my experience, 5 days works because it establishes a constant routine. However, it has to be at a place they love.
Just do 3x a week...trust me, I have a daughter now in 1st grade and those moments when she's so young and not in school every day, all day, are so precious, and then they're gone. Her learning will NOT suffer, she has YEARS AND YEARS of school ahead of her, every day. Spend time with her, that is what she really wants and needs right now. Good luck.
A 3 yr old does not NEED preschool 5 days a week, unless you need daycare 5 days a week. Only pay for what you need. Think about Preschool for 5 days when she is 4 (the year before she starts Kinder) Quality time w/ mom is better than daycare anyway. (Unfortunately my youngest was in Preschool since 2.5 full time --- and it didn't help her stay in her seat in Kindergarten -- yes she knew everything academically -- not that I couldn't have taught her that anyway, but for her ADHD is too much to overcome alone.)
I had the same feelings about my son. When he was 3, I put him in school four days a week but just tried to guage how he was doing. As long as he was happy and not too drained, I put him in school. But once in a while he seemed really tired or reluctant to go to school so I "treated" him to a fun day with mommy and just kept him home. He loved that until he was about 4. Now he gets bored with me and needs the stimulation of a group.
I don't think school at this age is about learning or getting smart as much as it is about socialization and getting "used" to the concept of sitting in class, concentrating and following the school schedule and teachers rules. I hear kindergarten is really hard core and a lot of kids have a very hard time if they haven't been in pre-school. But you still have a couple years before it gets to that. If you have the time now and could spare the time next semester if she doesn't get full time, then spend it with her and send her 3X a week. Next year she can go 5 days and have a full year to do that before kindergarten. My daughter is only 2 now and I think she will enjoy staying at home more than my son did. (She seems more like you daughter's personality) I might send her fewer days than I sent him. Every kid is so different, it's really fascinating!
hello. my daughter is in school 3 days out of the week. I started her off at 1 day at 2 years old. I think 3 days at this age is perfect as far as time with other kids, and Mommy time. Now that I am working full time.. she gets Grandma time. :( But the things I see her learning are amazing. She too can talk like an adult at times. So when I ask her how school was she'll tell me about her day. It's great. One of my biggest concerns was the other kids. Some of them did things and said things that are not allowed in our family. SCARY! but I seen the upside to her being exposed to these things, is that she is learning right from wrong. Lessons are coming out of school. I too do not think she is ready emotionally to be in school 5 days a week. I will see her progress through-out the year and re-evaluate her emotional state when she turns 4 years old. By then, she just might have that want to be a "big Girl" and 5 days won't be so hard on her.
Good luck in whatever decision you make.
she is still pretty young I say 3 xs a week for her age, if she was 4 then 5 xs a week, but she is just barely 3, still such a young tiny baby ...
my six year old girl sounds a lot like yours,when she was at that age and she`s the baby of my children all the older ones are mostly teens or older.I had a hard time with this to! I`m a mom of 7, and the last ones the hardest to have get older. No one should tell you when or how to do things,[ I think anyway ] this is your time. I can tell you of my experience.GO WITH THE GUT! Moms know best! and so on...
Start with 3 times a week. It will be a adjustment for both of you. I started my 3 year old at 3 days a week and when my son felt comfortable and I felt comfortable with the school I went from 3 days to full 5 days. I knew he was comfortable when on days he was not going to school he was asking in the morning "Do I get to see my friends today?" Do what your heart says and don't ever feel pressured into something because you are using your mom instinct and follow that.
As for the college; I have one in college out of our home town and the adjustment is more for me than it was for him.
Cherish the time you have now... stick to 3 days a week... I am going through the same thing with my baby who is turning 3 in September... my son just graduated from high school and my middle child starts 6th grade this year. It goes so fast... take all the time you can while you can. Don't allow the pressure(s) of growing up on the super fast track to get in your way - mom's always know what's best for their babies!
We have our very rambunctious and VERY curious and VERY energetic 3.5 year old son in preschool 3 mornings a week. I thought about doing 4 or 5 days this year too, but I think it would be too much for him and too much for me right now to schedule in the drop off and pick up an additional two days a week.
My son LOVES going to school and does well. Although I have a good rapor with his teacher and at least once a week she tells me that he had problems listening or following along, but she knows that I know how he is, so none of this surprises me. She keeps telling me it's nothing to worry about, that's just how he is. Some kids do really well in the academic setting (sitting, listening, paying attention, etc.), some kids are more hands on and energetic. But both are equally smart and academically at the right level.
At this age, I don't think you have to put her in school more than 3 days a week, unless you have to because of your work schedule, etc. About half the kids in my sons class are there 5 days a week from 8 am to 6pm. And they are totally normal kids as far as I can tell. So if you have to put her in school all week, I bet she will do just fine. As always, there is a sacrifice for putting her in school, and there is a sacrifice if you don't put her in. You just have to decide what works best for your child and your family.
Montessori experts advice that a three year old attend school half days for 5 days a week. At age four, either half or full day for five days a week. At age five, full day for five days a week. A five day week is best for uninterrupted (Montessori) academic learning and emotional development. Also, children find regular schedules and routines comforting. The start/stop of a week can make a child resistant to going.
You know the answer already. It is absolutely not necessary or best to send a child this age to school, and certainly not for the full week. If she goes to preschool at all, it should be for a few days a week. Your daughter just turned three. Three year olds were not intended to sit quietly. :0) Do not underestimate the importance of home, play, and family in her life. Preschool was intended to be a one or two semester thing, so kids of 4 1/2 or 5 could get a feel for school before kindergarten. These days it is used more as structured daycare for children as young as two. You said it yourself. Your daughter isn't ready, and it would not be good for her. Follow your mommy intuition.
It sounds to me as if you want to send her 3 times a week but are second guessing your choice based on what the teacher told you. While it is important to value and evaluate what your daughter's teacher is saying, no one knows your child better than yourself. Trust your gut. If you feel it's too soon for 5x per week, then wait. My 3 year old started going 5x per week when he was 3yrs 2mths for 3 1/2 hours each day. He'd been going 3x per week since he was 2yrs 5mths. It's worked well for him, but I never thought I would put such a young child in school for so long. However, it's worked best for our family and him, so I went with it. He's very happy at school but I can't honestly say that he's doing "better" there because he goes more often. It seems the same to me. Maybe it's a bit easier on his teacher since it's such a routine for him. Trust yourself to know what is best for your daughter and yourself.
You don't say how many hours per day. My daughter started PreK at age 3 going 4x week, 2h20m per day. By age 4 she would have been fine at least another hour per day, 5x a week. By age 5 she was so ready for full time but because her b-day is after the cutoff, she has to wait until she is 5 1/2. (She starts K in two weeks!) My opinion is to start her at 3x a week, and next year re-evaluate to see if you and she wants to go 5x. Then by Kindergarten, she'll be ready and used to the longer hours.
My son is 3 and goes 3x a week. Which is more than he really needs to go, but he loves it and I love it (I also spend a lot of time at his school helping out) it is all day and my daughter also goes to kindergarten there. The kids that go 5 days are the one's who's parents work. If I had to work, I'd be happy w/him going there 5 days a week. But since I don't work, I enjoy having him all to myself 2x a week. A child this age learns from play just as much if not more than in an academic setting. My daughter started preschool when she was 3.5 and only went 2 days a week (same school). Looking back, she may have done better going 3x but I wouldn't haved dreamed of sending her more than that. She just wasn't ready, where my son was like, "when am I going to school!?" So, they are all very different. Your daughter's teacher is right that she will probably be better in the group setting @ school if she goes 5x a week but I wouldn't change to 5x a week for that reason alone. 2-3x a week is all I'd do.
I guess what I am trying to say is, no, she does not need to go 5x a week. Have fun and enjoy her while you can!
Hi! My name is D. Markovic and I am the Concierge for Jewish Education at the Bureau of Jewish Education in L.A. I also have three children, and found that the consistency of every day, but not all day, worked best during the preschool years. Young children don't perceive time or schedules the way we do, and 2-3 days a week means they wake up every morning unsure of whether they are going to school or not. Better for them to know for sure. And if you can enroll her in a half day program (9-12 or 1), then you still have plenty of time to spend together in the afternoons. Also, when it's time to transition to kindergarten, she'll only have to transition to a longer day, not everyday as well. Should you wish to discuss this further, or explore Jewish preschools in your area, feel free to contact me anytime at ###-###-#### or ____@____.com Concierge service is free!
Hi my name is J.. Im from Calif. I do beleive in pre-school when a child turns 4 years old. All 3 of my g-sons went to pre-school and loved it. It helped them to be-able to cope with going into kindergarden.When your daughter is close to being 4, check out the schools near you for the Head-Start Program. Good luck.
If you do decide on 3 days, try to have the days be consecutive, rather than every other day. Unless your daughter has an exceptionally adaptable personality, every other day can be hard on her. Speaking from personal experience, it was much easier getting my son ready for school and dropping him off in the morning after he switched from every other day (3 days a week) to 5 days a week.
All the advice in the world is what works for those children. Your spirited little girl is different. What works for her may not be the advice given by all these wonderful and caring moms cause their little angels are different. What does your little girl want? Does she thrive in the environment of the preschool
or does she long to be home. If she is loving it, do it as much as she can enroll for. If she is missing her home life, take it slow, start out with a few and work your way up. Let her guide you. She knows what she likes. You are the best judge because you are right there with her!
If you don't her to go 5x/wk, then don't. 2-3x/wk is plenty. I worked full time, but I only did 2-3x week and I either took a day off or they spent the day with Grandma. It was such a great 1-on-1 bonding time, which is far more important. Preschool is great - they love it, they learn. But studies say that all kids (preschool or not) catch up to each other in K or 1st. So, quit worrying. There's always 5x week when she's older in pre-K and daily attendance is more important. Enjoy your time now if you can and save the $$$$.