Is My 11 1/2 Month Old Weaning Herself? I Don't Know How to Progress...

I will start by saying, you have done a great job breastfeeding for a year. If you want to continue that is great if not than that is fine too. If you find feeding times are a struggle for both of you than why put both of you through that.
It took my daughter about a week to wean and my son was happy with his sippy cup and never looked back.
Just ask you Dr. for a recommendation for milk alternatives.

I'm not quite certain what your question is. It is normal for your daughter, over time, to reduce how much and how often she nurses, but there is no set time for her to have to stop nursing, and it doesn't make sense to switch her to goat's milk or cow's milk for milk--you would think it very funny to have her suckle either animal, but in our society we think nothing of essentially having our children do exactly that. Why not just keep nursing her? It's quite likely you will see that drop off naturally--beginning with her mid-day feedings, except when she is upset or hurt (an ideal reason to KEEP nursing longer!). She may continue with bedtime, wakeup, and possibly middle of the night nursing until she is a good deal older--and that's fine!
When you say she has allergies, I wonder if they are true allergies or simply sensitivities. Many babies are sensitive to various foods they are too immature to digest. This could lead to constipation, upset tummy, gas, that kind of thing. A true allergy will cause things like breakouts, hives, potentially breathing problems--really serious stuff. Does your daughter have that or is it more of a sensitivity? If it's just sensitivity, you may find that she becomes able to handle those foods you crave by the time she is 18 months old. Either way, you have another 6 months before that comes up. If you decide to wean at that point, it doesn't take all that long, though there are many benefits to continuing to nurse if you can.

But at this point, I don't think you need to worry about reducing her nursings--she will do that on her own as she is ready. Just go with the flow, literally! And I recall with all three of my daughters that about that age they also stopped taking both sides at each feeding, so I just offered them a different breast with each consecutive one--no worries. (If you forget, it's not a big deal if you accidentally give the same one twice)

Many cultures don't drink cow's milk, and a perfectly balanced diet may be easier w/o.
The American dairy association has done agreat job of convincing us this is a required- it is not.
Barley "milk" is a protien dense drink. Weston Price is a great reference. Also Eat Right 4YourBlood Type was well researched at Bastyr University, and you could check there for what would be good for her.
Best, k

I went to a lactation consultant around the time my daughter was a year old because I was having some issues (an infection), but I also talked to her about weaning, as I was clueless as to what to do. I really wanted to go for as long as possible, but my daughter didn't really seem to care...probably because my milk supply wasn't great and my milk wasn't so fatty. She also had a milk sensitivity, but she did outgrow it by the time she was a year or so. (At least I think so...I'm slightly lactose intolerant, so she may be also. But no major symptoms like when she was under a year and got it through my breastmilk.) Two things that the lactation consultant told me that might help you are: make sure you nurse your daughter before she eats food. Some mom's nurse exclusively until a year, so your milk definitely has enough nutrition for her right now. The other thing was about the type of milk to introduce: she recommended oat milk because it is kind of sweet like breastmilk. You would mix it with breastmilk first (unless you absolutely don't pump), and then slowly increase the amount of oat milk. But you might also try the dairy or soy slowly after she turns year just to see. (Although, I have several friends with kids who did not outgrow their allergies, at least by 4 y.o. anyway.) You just need to watch the ingredients on the boxed milks because so many of them have added sugar. You need Plain, Unsweetened Soy Milk, not just plain, for example. Watch the rice and almond milks, too. I agree with other posters that cow's milk isn't the greatest, but if you go that route, try to do organic at least. I can't stand goat's milk, but that's another option.
I TOTALLY feel for you with the diet restrictions. I kept it up until 14 months, but it was really tough to be completely dairy free for that long. I have read here and on another post that kids won't wean themselves until 3 or 4 years of age, but I did not do anything to try to discourage my daughter from nursing and it was a struggle to keep her interest as long as I did. She never asked for it while we were nursing and seemed not to notice at all after we stopped. Kind of sad, but that's how it was. Hope you find the right balance.

No, your daughter isn't weaning herself... most children, no matter how much solids they eat, will not self wean until 3-4 years old. Does that mean they nurse as much as they did in their infant years? Nope - their needs ebb and flow, as does the milk production due to the wonderful creation that is the female body.

So the real issue is - you want her weaned by a certain time frame and you desire to finish it in 7 months. I think cutting out one of the 2 midday nursings would be best to get her accustomed to the change. After that is successful, cut out either the morning or evening one... then finally cut her off completely. When done gradually, you will have less clinginess or upset of your child - but she could also be just the opposite. Just keep in mind children are adaptable, but usually do not like change. Do not shame her if she cries because she misses the closeness of nursing, just be understanding but firm.

In our family, I've practiced child led weaning. My daughter stopped completely 3 months before her 5th birthday. The evening before bed and cuddle time upon waking were the last to go. We don't consume much dairy - cow's milk is used ONLY for cereal and recipes. Yogurts and cheeses we eat often, but proteins, veggies and fibers we have aplenty. Depending on her reaction to milk products, I'm sure the occasional splurge would be beneficial to both you (because you miss them) and her (to accustom her body to the occasional lactose she may be intolerant of).

L., it doesn't sound like there is any need to try to move things along as far as weaning is concerned. Your daughter is weaning herself in stages, and it's always best not to push the issue. Yes, you will need to try alternatives to breast milk. Goat's milk is usually the safest, but it can be kind of yucky. Try getting a little can of goat's milk and putting a bit into warm cereal or mashed bananas or something to see how she tolerates it.

Breast feeding, in countries where there is no rush to get a child on solid food or push relief bottles, can go on until a child is 3 years of age. My son didn't eat a significant amount of solid food until he was your daughter's age. It sounds like your daughter is actually progressing really rapidly toward weaning all by herself. If you are really interested in cutting her down to 3 instead of 4 times nursing, try not offering the breast at 3 pm, but giving her a solid food snack with a cup of water. See if she can naturally do without it, but don't withhold it.

Don't even think about taking away the bedtime nursing until the child is absolutely ready for that -- unless you actually WANT hell and chaos in your house.

My advice is not to rush weaning. These are some of the best times you will have with your child in her early years, and when they are done, you will miss them, so let them pass gradually. They will be over soon enough.

Peace,
Syl

My son weaned himself so fast when he really got into solids. It was a struggle to get him to nurse until 13 months! At that point I did the "don't offer/ don't refuse" idea with him. I didn't offer and he was done in three days! It was so strange because my daughter nursed until 2 1/2 so I was NOT ready to wean him....oh well! Babies know when they are done. Neither of my children drink cow's milk, they are both allergic. I just make sure they have other forms of healthy fat and calcium.

try almond milk?
Rice milk?

Nurse her BEFORE solids.

Ask your Ped for alternatives to dairy... I am sure they must know of alternate 'milks' to give a child.

Hi L.,

Most babies outgrow their food intolerances by one year old, or a little bit longer. I think this is true as long as they are intolerances and not true allergies (trying to remember what Dr Sears said on this).

We tried introducing the intolerant food (via me transmitting it in breastmilk and later having the baby directly eat it) every 6-8 weeks after 9-10 months old or so. If they had a reaction to a single bite, we stopped and tried again after several weeks. Both my daughters had intolerances (one dairy, one soy) and now have no visible reactions.

I think that it's normal for babies to need less/more nursing as they go through stages. Between 12 and 16 months or so, I think toddlers start nursing "on the run" a lot, because they are so busy practicing their new mobility. I wouldn't let it worry me. My younger daughter (now 15 mos) was a scant nurser for awhile, but now nurses in little bits ALL the time and also overnight. Teething will make it more frequent, for example. A new skill (like walking) will make it less frequent - too busy for milk! ;)

My older daughter weaned with very minimal prompting at just over 2 years old. My younger one is still nursing (she's 15 mos) and we don't have an expectation of its end.

Hope this helps!

I can't help with the allergies, but I want to offer my experience with nursing my kids. I encouraged my daughter to wean at fifteen months (long story, health issues) and I was really looking forwarded to the opportunity to nurse my son however long. I was committed to nursing him until he quit!

I was so disappointed when he weaned earlier than I had hoped. He's always been very independent and LOVED food--when he had his first solid food at six months, he held the spoon, not me. His choice!

So, just after his first birthday, he went to one side only. I hoped it was just a strike or teething or something. About two months later, he didn't want to nurse at all. I couldn't find a single position or time of day that he wanted to nurse, even before nap/bed. He fell asleep great, just didn't want to nurse. He never asked for it in any way (and I'm a WAHM who pays a lot of attention to my kids).

I really felt like a failure because everyone says they'll go until three or more if you let them. But I was willing--he wasn't! Again, though, he is VERY independent in all ways and loves food.

So, I guess I'm saying to follow her lead. Be patient, maybe she'll go back. Give her chances, try new positions, but take her cues. And I wouldn't take the raspberry as "yucky"--it's just a cool mouth trick for them. I think you both will find a good path for you.

Hi, I agree with the other that said children really usually wean themselves much later. My daughter nursed till she was 4. I would continue to nurse and always introduce more foods for her to try if she wants. My daughter didn't eat solids till she was 1. She has a varied diet now and very very rarely becomes sick, even when others around her are.
She really shouldn't have dairy because she's not a cow. If you want some sort of a milk like substance for cereal and such you can make some milks from nuts and seeds. It's very simple, healthy, and inexpensive. Get a nut milk bag (to make it easier) but you can use cheesecloth or even a hand towel if you're desperate enough, blend up some almonds, hazelnuts, cashews, brazil nuts or whatever nuts you want even in combination (soaking for a bit works nicely too) blend them with 4 times as much purified water with a small amount (tablespoon?) of either agave nectar, maple syrup or brown rice syrup and then blend well. Pour the mixture into the towel, bag or whatever and squeeze out all the liquid. You can dry the meal and make a cake with it later on. This 'milk' will be by far the healthiest for your child after your breast milk.
Why would you like to have her weaned by 18 months? If it's societal concern I would think that's sad. WHO and many other organizations (not to mention most of the world besides the US) realize breasts are for nourishing our young and appreciate lactation for what it is. It's also such a wonderful bond that is great to continue for as long as possible.

Good luck!

My little guy had problems with cow's milk until 16 month. Until then he was only breastfed, although we did have him drinking water and highly diluted juice - from sippy cups starting at about a year. (Skip a bottle at this point, there is no need. She'll do fine with a sippy cup.)
He stopped nursing so much between 12 and 16 months, enough that when we hit 16.5 months he was weaned. (That was because at that point he could have cows milk, and he was getting somewhat rude with the nursing. :) (Lifting up my shirt, and interrupting me to get to nurse, then not nursing when there....) I could have worked on his manners, but felt that it had been long enough. At that point he was also nursing so little that it was not a major change for him.
(He started NOT nursing 4x per night at 14 months - when we decided that co-sleeping was no longer working for us. So there was quite a bit of change in the last 2.5 months of nursing.)
With him, from the beginning I would switch sides each feeding. It seemed like that worked well for us. It also made it easier to keep track. :) (Which side? The bigger one... :) )

So, long story, mostly to let you know you are not alone. Good job on toughing it out on the restricted diet. That is HARD! Hopefully she will outgrow the allergies, and soon! That is really helpful. :)
Good job on nursing this long too! I think it is a really special thing, but it also takes effort on your part. Congratulations on making it to a year! Good luck with the coming 6 months. I'll have my fingers crossed that the allergies are outgrown by then. :)
Hope that helps. :)