Is It Wrong to Not Send Your Child to Preschool

I firmly believe that children should stay home with their parents until school age, if at all possible, and that that is the very best thing for them. As long as she is getting that social interaction you mentioned, she will do just fine!!!

I have an idea which would minimize the cons--why don't you send her 2 or 3 days a week for summer school so she would be exposed to the concept of school, which I think is a plus, but not so costly as to break the budget?

I dont feel pre school is needed, if you dont want her to go. However, you may want to consider it with a second baby on the way. It may be good to have her started there before the 2nd baby comes along so you arent starting her with something new at the same time a new baby is there. Once you have a newborn around, you may find you need a little relief. My son started pre school at 3 for 2 1/2 days, he did like it, but he liked his days home too!

It is NOT wrong to keep your child home with you. It amazes me that society has deemed it the thing to do to send your children to "school" at such an early age. Let's face it, if they are that young it is not school, it is daycare. I think it is a cop out for SAHM's that selfishly want time to themselves and chalk it up to "socialization" and "academics". It is like these parents can't wait to increase the number of days their children attend daycare. Surely we are all capable of teaching our own children anything that a daycare/preschool can cover at this early age. Counting, color recognition, nursery rhymes, can just be part of natural play at home. These children will have to go to school for at least the next 13 years, why are we making them go longer? There is no necessity to it, even VPK. Years ago, when we were young or our parents were young, children did not attend daycare in droves and it was not the norm and we all turned out just fine. I have not put either of my children in daycare or preK. My son is academically and socially in the top of his class. However, I do feel the stigma of walking around with my 5 year old daughter and everyone asking why she is not in school and feeling like I have to explain myself. She will begin Kindergarten next year. Until then we will enjoy our time together, be thankful that I do not have to work during her younger years so that she can stay home with me and she will thrive with out the so called "benefit" of preschool!

Go with what you feel is right for you and your family. I just moved to Florida in September. With the move, I decided to homeschool. My older girls are in 4th and 2nd grade. I put my 3 year old in school 2 days a week, just so she could get some socialization since we did not know anyone and it gave me some free time to be with the older girls without feeling like I was ignoring the little one. I have since taken her out, now that I am more adjusted and she most likely will not go back in the fall. Things change and your decision does not have to be anything final.

A., I am going to give you my honest opinion about "pre-school" and it may not be the opinion of others, but this is my opinion. I see "pre-school" as a glorified day care center. You say you are doing all sorts of things with your child at home so why do you want to pay somebody to do the same things you are already doing? If you are looking for a much needed break so you can have time for yourself, why not ask family or a trusted friend to take your daughter for an hour? I'm a full time stay at home mother and I'm a mother of 3. My two oldest are in school and my youngest is 2 1/2. A., children grow up so fast and before long your daughter will be in kindergarten and you'll have quiet time for yourself before you know it. I've had plenty of other people try to sell me all the benefits of putting my children in "pre-school" and not one of my children ever went. They enrolled into kindergarten without any problems from being home with me for the first 5 years of their precious lives. They are well adjusted children and both of my daughters are on the honor roll and no thanks to attending "pre-school." Everything they knew when they started school was because I was home with them, caring for them, loving them, nurturing them, and most importantly, teaching them the way I was taught by my mom, who was also a stay at home mother for me and my sister. Save your husband's hard earned money for things that really matter. Pre-school is not one of them.

Hey A.,
First. No one can teach a child better than mom. I am a firm believer in that. I am a mother of 5 and a Nonna(grandma) of 4, and I never did the preschool thing. I used cloth diapers on all of my children and made all of their baby food, and I have been homeschooling since 1987. How old are you? Anyway, the best environment for children is one that has all age groups, because the child will learn to emulate what he/she sees, so if you have a bunch of 3 year olds in a room, yep, that's all she'll learn is to act like a 3 year old. Personally, I prefer the safe home environment for multiple reasons. Teach her to be an individual and to think on her own and to solve her own problems at an early age as well as have responsibilities no matter how small. Once your next little angel arrives this will happen anyway. Next, our family has always lived on one income (26 years) and the expense would put too much hardship on the family. Money spent on you and your husband to have a "date night" would be better for the entire family (this is some serious hind sight here...took a while for my husband and I to figure out). When mom and dad a rooted and grounded, the family runs well. Children just add to the mix, but you must spend your entire life with him, so put that relationship on the front burner. Finally, don't worry, sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!!!! Congratulations, mom, one day she will be all grown up, and she will have you to thank for it....P.

No, it is not wrong to keep your daughter home. It sounds like you do a great job keeping her busy, and if you don't need a break during the day, what's the point? Luckily, Star will be eligible for VPK, which is enough to get her ready for starting school. Good Luck!

Hi, A.. Sweetie, it's not wrong to not send her. Preschool isn't all that necessary unless the child has no interaction with other kids at all. She still has a lot of time to get used to the idea of school. Preschool can wait a year, when she's close to 4, which used to be the standard for pre-Kindergarten. Certainly you wouldn't be harming your daughter by keeping her with you at home another year. Don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision you're not comfortable with.

There's nothing wrong with doing something that feels good, like interacting in wonderful ways with your child. She seems to like it, too. Go for it.

My mother used to say, "If it's not broken, don't fix it."

Peace,
Syl

No, it is not wrong. Particularly if you are active and involved with her at home. I would even go so far as to say, particularly if she is very bright. Once she starts school of any kind, she is likely to be held to the lowest common denominator in learning. She can learn a lot more from you around the house if you are conscious of how you spend your time with her. She can pick up whatever social skill she might still be lacking at age 4 in K4, or even waiting until K5. My son only went for 3 hours a day when he was 4, (3 or 4 days per week). He is very smart. He learned to read from me, at home, not at preschool. Same with my daughter. She was reading big brother's 2nd grade books before she entered school at K4. She is extremely bright and told me from day 1 in K-4 classes that she was bored. They were learning letters and early reading skills, and she was already a fully engaged reader who also enjoyed writing in journals on her own. She was self motivated and learned MUCH at home with me. They learn much more mature methods of interaction when they spend time with adults.
Personally, I think "socialization" is a joke. All they really need to learn before heading off to kindergarten (non-academic stuff) is how to follow instructions, sit quietly, raise their hand, and how to ask to leave their seat to use the bathroom. If she is involved in regular library time, she already knows how to do all those things.

Think about it this way: How much $$ to parents spend to have their kids in private school so that they have smaller class sizes and more one-on-one with the teacher? You are doing that for her, for free, right now! Enjoy your time with her. Maybe when she is 4, and you are feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to stimulate her and taking care of a one year old, it could make more sense. For now, I would say, no. But that's just my opinion.

Hey A., I too am a SAHM and I agree there are benefits to preschool. However, my son is almost 2 and at this point I do not plan on sending hime to preschool. I think the question to ask yourself might be, "when he is grown will I have regreted sending him when I could have had that time with him that I enjoy so much"? Try not to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, and go with your heart. You may change your mind and want to send him next year, but doing what you think is best is always the way to go!

Your a great mom, be encouraged!!!
T.

I am a homeschooling mom of 3 and I think the absolute best thing you can do for your child is to spend time learning about the world around thru the guidance of her mommy. You are the quality time she needs. Since you have education and social (playdates) covered, the rest of her time can be with you alone! Enjoy - I always hear from elders that it goes by too fast..

A.,

Ya know if you would have asked me this about 2-3 weeks ago I would have said yes send your child what harm can it do but then I saw this report on I think it was dateline or 20/20 and now I am personally having second thoughts…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou5eVl5eqtg

My favorite line…is if our universal k-12 cant adequately serve our children why give our 3-4 year olds to them too?...made a bunch of sense too me…

I think that it's great that you spend so much time with your daughter, but at some time you have to give up your time with her and let her adjust to things without you. As she gets older you can't be there for every school day and starting her young is great. She will see that there are other people that can care for her needs(not as well as you) and that she can make friends and bond with other children without you present. Right now she does all those things you have her in with you as a safety net and she needs to see that she can be independent also. I know that it's an extra expense, but this also saves you from the hassle of the first day of k-5 where she refuses to go because she's been around you so much and will have seperation anxiety

Hi A.!
It is certainly not "wrong" to not send your child to daycare. The mother is the best teacher, and she will be less suceptible to get sick at home with you. There are many other activities that you can do with her so that she can "socialize" with others her age.
We have 4 ages 22 months to 6 years and we are homeschooling and love every minute of it! We are very active in our church and there are lots of children there for mine to interact with and we've created a children's soccer team for the church. They also participate in a children's choir.
God has given you a wonderful gift and opportunity to educate your child. You shouldn't have to feel pressured or guilty if you don't send her to preschool or even school for that matter.
May God guide you through this wonderful journey and congratulations on #2!
Take care! And feel free to write back if you want to talk some more on homeschooling. :)
V.

Hi A.,

My son just turned 4 and we always said he doesn't need to go to preschool until 4/VPK. Somewhere around 3, I realized it would be good for him (and me). We are very close and he at that point already knew everything on 3 & 4 year old curriculums but seemed to like adults more than kids (and we are in a huge playgroup that we have belonged to since he was a few months old-so it wasn't about not being around other kids). I was not ready but he was, so he started last Sept. 2 half days a week (3 hours ata time) - I had already toured schools and fallen in love with this one, we used to go play there occasionally to get him used to it, etc. over the summer. Now he is up to 3 half days and wants to go 5, but I am not ready for that ;-)

Having said that, even though you may be in the minority, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not putting her in preschool yet. VPK is free and if you are happy staying home together, I would wait until then -one less expense like you said :) VPK is 5 half days paid for by the state - I would think that will be a hard adjustment for both of you going from no school to everyday school...that is the one reason I would consider 2 days a week for a few hours around 3 or 3 1/2...good luck with whatever you decide to do -I do not think there is a wrong or right decision in this case-whatever makes you both happy!

NO, you give her alot of social interaction. One of my good friends home schooled all 4 of her kids and they were well educated and social. Do what you think is best for your child and dont doubt yourself.

I didn't send any of my 3 kids to preschool. But I did set up a "homeschool" preschool co-op with 5 other moms, so we had six 4-year olds and the moms worked in teams of 2 on a monthly rotation to create a school-type environment with songs, circle-time, crafts, letter-recognition activities, etc. It was a lot of fun. My second child went to mom's morning out one day a week, and my 3rd child is home with me full-time because there isn't a mom's morning out in our area. I do miss having a set time during the week when I can do things on my own. To me that is an advantage of some type of structured childcare setting. I think a preschool setting can be more enriching than just "babysitting", but I don't need it 2 or 3 days a week, so I don't put her in preschool. I recommend a moms morning out just so you can get a little breather from being "mommy" and have time you can count on to get your hair done, meet a friend for coffee, or whatever!

Hi A.:

Well in my opinion Star will be going to school permanently soon enough and you will not get these years back. You give her plenty of educational stimulation and socializing. You are doing GREAT! Stay home with her for as long as you can. She sounds like a smart little girl she will do fine. While you have her at home have fun with pre-k and her right under your own roof. She will be 5 soon enough and off to school and you will be glad you had all this time with her. You are doing great A.!

Y. F

Hi A.,

My circumstances are a bit different… My daughter is almost 4, but she was born very early. As a result she was extremely sick her first two years and now is very small as a result. When we go out people commonly think she is 2 or 3 years old due to her size. So sending her to pre-school just wasn’t an option for me. But to be honest, even if she was without problems at all, I can’t say that I would send her either. I love savoring every moment with her and I don’t want to push her into school too soon. As long as I do my job here with her, by prepping her for school at 5, I think she will be perfectly fine. I would say the same for your daughter. We have instincts for a reason. In my opinion, it is not wrong not to send them, as long as you prep them yourself. Good luck and have fun – they grow up too fast!

I am a SAHM and I am not sending my 3 year old to preschool. My husband and I work with my daughter on a daily basis and she loves learning. I have her in a gymnastics program that she attends once a week, and she has playgroups and church that she also attends. She is being socialized the way it was suppose to be with her parents right beside her every step of the way. We have been taught that it is better to send your kids away at such a young age, and to me and my husband we do not feel that that is right. I also have a 5 month old in my home, and while I am not able to spend all of the time that I use to spend with my first child she is still getting a lot more quailty time with me than she would with a daycare worker. Plus, she is also learning another vaulable lesson which is learning how to care for another person. We have a good schedule in place and both girls get a lot of one on one time with mommy and daddy. We have decided to homeschool both of our girls, and I am really looking forward to it. You seem to be doing a great job with Star and you seem to really enjoy it along with her. I would continue and not be forced to follow what people consider the norm. Good Luck with your decision.

I'm a 3rd grade teacher and have a 22 month old. If Star can begin Kindergarten with knowing how to write her name, the alphabet, counting to 20, how to cut a little, color, and be exposed to reading she'll do great. Having her involved in some activities like gymnastics will be good for learning interaction skills. Kids are pushed way too hard these days and I think you should do what your heart tells you and if that means keeping her home then do it. There is nothing wrong with grabbing all of the time you can with her now. You'll appreciate it later. Good luck with your decision.

Check out Sunflower creative arts program in Boca. It is not pre-school, but a mom coop arts enrichment program. Most people there do attachment parenting and so on. It gives the socialization and independence part to the child while not costing a fortune, and not really being daycare. The only issue there is a HUGE waiting list!

Don't feel guiklty for not sending her. Sounds like you two have a great time and are learning plenty at home. Yes, she wouls absoutley learn more but will not be very far behind the other children once she starts kindergarden. So, have fun and enjoy having her with you while you can.

I would say "Absolutely not!" In fact, I would go further and say "It's the right thing to do, and if you have a good homeschoolers connection, I would consider homeschooling, at least through middle school!" You mentioned you are a pretty natural mom, I am too. It just seems to me that it's natural to want your values communicated to your child, not just when they are young, but when they get older. You also sound like a pretty creative mom, all the more reason to homeschool--as you know your child better than anyone.

DON'T feel guilty about not sending your daughter to pre-school. The time she spends with you is valuable and you are already doing many of the same things she'd be doing there. I envy my friends who are able to be home full-time with their children and give them the enrichment experiences you are giving your daughter (I'm a single mom). One of my friends even homeschooled her three children and the oldest received a full academic scholarship to college. (Let's not forget Tim Tebow was homeschooled!)

Stick to what you and your husband believe is best for your children and don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that your aren't comfortable doing.

Hi, I dont think it wrong to keep her home with you. I did send my son to the free vpk program when he was 4 which I feel was good. One bad thing about sending your daughter to preschool now is that they seem to catch so many bugs and germs at preschool. Inturn she could bring them home to you and to the new baby. I would just keep doing things the way you have been. If its too much after the baby comes then I would consider sending her for a couple hours a day. Enjoy your babies while you can-I have been a stay at home mom for 6 yrs and now I have to go back to work. S.

Hi A.-
I am a 39 year old former preschool and 2nd grade teacher and I have three children of my own that are 7, 4, and 19 months. I no longer work outside my home. When we went to school there was no such thing as preschool and kindergarten was usually a half day. You sound like an excellent mom who is doing all the right things to provide Star with a happy childhood. I do send my children to preschool for two days a week (9-12) at 3 years old and three days a week at 4 years old. However, I still feel children do not "need" preschool unless there are circumstances that prevented the child from getting a "normal" early childhood (neglect, uneducated parents/caregivers, or developmentally delayed, etc). Be confident that you are doing the right thing for your family when you make your decision! :)

Dear A.,

I know that you've gotten many replies but since I wanted to say something a bit different, I thought I might reply anyway.

First, preschool has only been around for about 30 years, give or take, depending upon geography. Prior to that time period, kindergarten was OPTIONAL, and you had to start school in first grade. So, you can see, we've been moving the "start date" for school back with each generation. Florida is one of a handful of states that have the voluntary pre-kindergarten program and it was (mostly) supported by working parents who thought it was a cheap way to get some free daycare.

Second, you say that your daughter is well socialized and you don't feel that you need some alone time. Keep your daughter in her activities (even after your new baby comes!!!) and she will be fine. I worked in education for over 15 years and I see no reason to change what you are doing.

Third, you may want to consider signing up for VPK next year to give you a few hours each week that you have bonding time with your new baby. Keep in mind that you sign up for VPK in Feb/March of the year that the child would be 4 by Sept. 1 of that year. You may decide that by the fall, you don't want Star to go but you will not lose anything and it keeps your options open.

Last, I am 37 and did NOT go to preschool or daycare of any type. My mother was a stay at home mom and we did all the things that needed doing around the house, I played with my younger brother and sister and we had playdates (in those days there were lots of stay at home moms in the neighborhood). I have a masters degree, am well socialized and have as normal of a family as anyone I know:)

I have to work part-time in order to keep my family going financially. My son has been in daycare part time since he was 6 months old. I am lucky to be able to work 3 short days per week and I have been very happy with our son's daycare! I think he is getting the best of both worlds and I am happier because I love my job! That being said, if I didn't want to work, I would keep him with me until kindergarten! We only have our children with us for a short period of time and it is so critical that we use that time to try to install good values before they face the world.

God Bless You and good luck with your decision and #2!
C.

I didn't send my son to preschool until he was 4. If you wait then you can just do the free VPK program. Not sure where you live in Wellington but my son's school just started honoring VPK last year. It's at Elbridge Gale Elementary. If we are still here in a few years I will send my daughter there. I def don't think it's wrong not to send her when she's 3. When she's 4 then it's just getting her ready for Kindergarten. Enjoy her at home while you can. :)

A.- it is not wrong to NOT send your child to preschool, especially if you want to spend time with her. However, as a former preschool teacher for 5+ years, I can honestly tell you that when another baby comes along there is often, but not always, some change in behavior with the other child. By enrolling her in preschool PRIOR to the birth of the baby, and consistently sending her to preschool, it can serve as a tool to help her become a little more independent and will help if she reverts to more infantile behaviors (i.e. regressing in terms of potty training, demanding a bottle for feeding again, etc.) with the arrival of the baby. The big thing A. is consistency. At this young age she really needs consistency. If you do decide to send her to preschool, please don't keep her home when the baby comes b/c you feel guilty. She will pick up on your feelings and may not want to return to school, especially when you may feel you need some bonding time with the new child. If you decide to keep her home with you and the new baby, encourage to help and involve her but also encourage her to play independent of you so you won't feel stressed and pulled in several different directions.

A.,
It sounds as if you are interacting & teaching your daughter just great!
My children/grans all went to preschool @ one time or another, depending on my work schedule. They enjoyed their school(s) and it gave them an opportunity to socialize as well as learn. Pre-School is not a must but going gets them on a start to learn the basics and used to being away from Mom for short periods. Being PG is wonderful, congrats! The time your daughter would have away from home would give you some extra rest for you right now and 'special' time with the new baby later. Finances can be adjusted if you find the right place, I had my Grandaughter enrolled in a 'Mommy's Day Out' program @ age 4, she went 3 days a week for 5 hrs. @ the Methodist Church and we paid $35.00, it was a fabulous program. You might want to check the Jr. College in your area to see if there is a program for 'childhood' classes in which the students interact by running a preschool. The YMCA usually offers low cost programs as well. Summer is right around the corner and many churches offer a 'Summer Bible School' open for kidz 3-18yrs. these run for about a week maybe two and are free!

Best!

A.

Hi A.,
Children have the rest of their lives to be influenced by others. This is a very special time when you have the opportunity to train her up and instill in her the things that you feel are important. It sounds like you are doing a great job already without Preschool. Besides, there are so many learning opportunities that you can do together. Storytime at the library, as you mentioned, is great. You can also do a music class together (my daughter and I found a great Musikgarten class that is very reasonably priced) and there is always Gymboree classes or something like that. Enjoy your time with her while you can. It goes by so quickly.

it's not wrong to keep your child with you. i kept my daughter at home with me until she turned four and entered the VPK program that gets them ready for school. any dr will tell you that it is preferable to keep them home as long as you can. my son is also 2.5 and i was going to keep him home with my until he turned 4 also, but the preschool where my daughter goes is really hard to get into and they have a waiting list, so i put him in next yr so he will be assured a spot when he turns 4. otherwise i would have kept him home with me. they are better rounded children when they are home with you. when they go to school, someone else is raising your child and imparting their opinions (which you may not like) on your child and the child may also pick up bad habits from other children you don't like. so keep her home if you like.

Hi A., I sent my 3 girls to preschool 3 times a week when they turned 3. I am a stay at home mom, my oldest daughter she went to preschool because i was working at the time and i quit work when she turned 6, i had my 2nd daughter when she was 8 and by the time she was 3 she wanted to go to school like her big sister so i tried it out. It was hard for me to let go since i was at home and with another new baby girl, she learned so much more than what she wanted to learn from me at home and opened up alot. My friends thought i was silly putting them in preschool when i was home with them but it did give me a break in the day to spend with my 3rd daughter. Now i have a 3 year old son and a 1 year old son, and our money is tight right now too and i havne't put him in preschool yet, but he will be going next year, i don't know for how many days but it will be a nice break since all the kids will be in school and i will be home with my little baby boy. I feel that putting the girls in preschool really helped them when they got to Kindergarten. I chose 3 days a week im sure you can start with 2 days a week, but school now is so different from when we went to school and they have to learn so much more and they are actually learning a lot more in preschool to get them ready for Kindergarten which is also completely different from when we went to Kindergarten. Its really up to you and since you are expecting another baby you can get a lot of bonding time with your new baby on those days your daughter goes to school. I don't know if i helped out any but good luck and let us know what you decide! :)
S. mom to 5 amazing beautiful Children 17yrs,9yrs,7yrs,3yrs and 18months check out my son's journey at www.liamlockhart.com

Hi A.!
It's really funny b/c as I read your post, I feel like I wrote it. My reasons for not wanting to send my son (16 mos) to preschool are the same: love my time with him, money, etc.
I do all of the same things that you do with your daughter & he is very bright.
I dont plan on sending him to school until Pre-K. I figure he has the rest of the his life to be in school, what's the rush.
So my answer is no, you do not need to send her. Unless you find that she is really bored at home & needs "more".
H.

I'm struggling with the same decision! We also live in Wellington and schools are not cheap but I still want to do the "right" thing by sending her to school. She just turned 3 and is really smart, but I'm just very torn. Where have you ben looking at sending your daughter, if you don't mind me asking?

I go back and forth all the time with myself about sending my son. He DOES go to part time preschool and so did my other 2 kids, even though I am a SAHM. Yes, I get a lot of errands and cleaning done when he isn't home, but that's not why I send him. Taking him to activities where he can interact with other kids (like library storytime) and teaching him academics at home is fine, but he gets SOOO much more out of preschool. He gets to interact with other kids WITHOUT ME THERE. I really do think that is SOOOOOOOOO important. I am often amazed by the things he knows that he learned in school (not acadmically speaking, but socially-- like being patient and taking turns and speaking up for himself when someone is mean to him or gets in his personal space). It's not wrong not to send your child, and finacnces are a big concern when you have one family income, but my 2 cents is to send your child 2 days a week.

Ok, before I share you should know that I now homeschool all 4 of my children so I'm a little "prejudice ":>)
None of my children went to preschool. (Yes, my first 2 went to public school for a time). IT DOES NOT MATTER!! I can't say this enough!! There have been studies published that prove that early education doesn't "jumpstart" our childrens learning and ,in fact, there are many benefits to keeping them at home longer. So, it sounds like you are very active with her socially, and also have the learning thing down at home. WHY waste the money?! If you send your daughter to school she will be away from you for MANY hours in just a few short years! My advice is treasure this SHORT time with your precious gift! Blessings and enjoy this brief moment in time!!
P.S I might add that my oldest son --who never went to preschool--was tested for gifted in K-.Just in case you need more proof that preschool is unnecessary. :>)

It is not wrong to not place your child in a preschool setting. I would suggest regular playgroups several days a week and the story times at the Library are awesome. If you choose to allow your daughter to stay at home with you, you should definitely take some courses in early childhood education. As an early childhood educator myself I know there is far more to educating preschoolers than meets the eye. There are many things that she may be missing out on now socially but if you work toward educating yourself you will be able to equip her with everything that she needs to be successful during pre-kindergarten.
Keep in mind,at the age of 4 years old, Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten is absolutely free to all that are 4yrs old by September 1. This program is awesome and is even available in family home day care's.

I say, "Lucky you!" You get to enjoy your child, and strenghten mother-daughter bond. She'll be in school forever. Take advantage now and stay home. My son is 14 now, and didn't go until Kindergarten. (there wasn't vpk then, so I don't know if we would have done that or not) He gets straight A's, is involved in scouts and sports, and is well-rounded.

I don't think it would be "wrong" of you to not send your child to preschool. Since she is bright and you are developing and stimulating her intellectually, she doesn't sound lacking in that department. Since you feel as though she has a good socializing network and is learning how to interact with others, she doesn't sound like she is lacking there either. These would be the two main drivers in sending a child to preschool in my opinion, and since she is doing OK there, I wouldn't feel pressured into sending her if you don't want to. Many moms would be envious to be in your position - good for you!

I think you are fine the way you are. I have a cousin that did the very same thing you are doing and her kids are the smartest and brightest in their classes (her kids are now 8 and 11). If you are able to stay home with your child and teach her and she is able to have social time with other kids thru play groups and the such, then dont add the extra expense of daycare. As long as she knows her colors, letters, and numbers and can write her name, she will be fine when she starts kindergarten.

If you are doing educational stuff at home (you may want to check into the state expectations for pre-schools as far as what they should know by the time they get to grade school), and if she is getting socialization (at least 2 or 3 times a week) I really dont think you have to send her. Although, considering 99% of kids do go to pre-school or day care, she may be a step behind when she hits kindergarten, but if she is bright she'll catch up quickly. Do whats in your heart and what's best for HER. You may be enjoying your time, but is it the best thing for her? Only you can decide. Personally, I think my son is happier when he is going to school, seeing his friends and getting challenged. If you do decide to go ahead with school, stick to the smaller ones, they will be less expensive. Good luck.

I think its just as important for a mom to be ready for this as child. Its a really great experience for the kids in every aspect. My daughter is 3 at the end of April, I stay at home with her I also love our time together. She is my little helper, I do not want that to end. but, we are both ready for the change. I can not explain it you just know when you know. Good luck with your decision & new baby. Whatever choice you make is the right one.

Hey, nobody went to daycare or preschool until fairly recent! If you enjoy so much being with your very own Star, keep doing it. She will be out to school before you know it and you'll cherish every minute you've spent with her. She has adult time (with you) and childrens time (at playdates, parks). You do school stuff -don't forget Sesame Street- and probably will do crafts too. Believe me, she's not missing a thing. Your a great mom, keep it up.

There is nothing wrong not to send her yet. But if you can afford sending her 2 or 3 times, or all week half-days, it will be beneficial not only for her but for you also. She can learn as much "bright" things with you at home, but the one thing is becoming important around age 3 is to socialize and interact with others kids of her age, and learn to adapt to new environment. Keep in mind baby #2 in on the way (if your profile info is up-to-date, the baby is not born yet), and you may not like that idea, but in no way you will be able to spend as much dedicated time with your 1st child once the baby is here. So it is a very good compromise to send her a little bit in pre-school. She will gain some independence she needs to acquire at that age and that will help her accept the fact you will share your time with the new baby also. However, do not send her to school at the same time the new baby arrives. I wanted to send my 2 1/2 year old daughter in school before the baby arrives, but for various reasons we waited that the baby had 2 months, and it was 1 month before my daughter turned 3. It was a little difficult transition for all of us the 1st week, but she is very happy, and love going to school. and she gets to spend all afternoons with me and the baby, and ride with her dad at school. I also try to find some time that we can spend just the 2 of us as much as possible, when my husband can take care of the baby... as I do miss that wonderful time we had just her and I. It actually broke my heart the 1st month after the baby arrived to see that I could not spend this special time anymore with her, we used to go everywhere together, I took her to gym classes, local library or Barnes and Nobels story-reading sessions,play-grounds, kids events etc...When she started school she was prepared to participate and be among other kids. The mother-daughter relationship evolved though, she is the big sister now, and I feel less guilty not to spend this time with her as I know she has fun in school. Good luck in your decision, and with the new baby.

Hi A., wow, I felt like I was reading my own profile there for a minute! I am a 35 yo, with a 2 1/2 yo daugther, Rose. I am expecting baby #2 end of April. I am also vegetarian and Rose is primarily Vegan and so will this next baby. I breastfed until she was 2yo and will do the same with this next one. I also made all of her food and continue to bring all her food to school. Cloth diapering was not an option for the most part, since I had to send her to school.

I had to return to work when she was 4 months old, however, I found a suitable situation that allowed me to see her at noon to nurse and then pick her up every day at 4, so I was only away from her from 9-12, 1-4. After a year, I went down to a 4 day work week, so she only goes to school M-F. My point being, you can find a way, if you need to, to find balance and still give all you can to your child.

We spend such quality time together when we are together, I do not feel like I am missing out on anything with her. Since she is nearing 3 and I feel the school she is at is more care-giving then developmental, we are switching her to a what I would call one of the top-notch preschools here (Broward county)- Nova has their own preschool and though it is roughly $500 more a month to go, it is worth it for all she will get. It sounds like you want the best for Star, and I believe, with school, she will have a balance, because you will still give all you can when you are with her, and then she will gain so much in interaction, learning, groups, conflict resolution, etc. that she might not just with you alone. Also, now that a new baby is coming, you will want to give yourself a chance to fully dedicate yourself to that child also, in the beginning months. Having Star in school for a little while during the day will help in that, I honestly believe in that. don't feel guilty about wanting that- I went through that, but now know that for these first few months with baby #2 I will bond and once this one goes to school part time and I return to work, we will have that bond in place that nothing can replace (even other caregivers).

Best of luck in your decisions and keep my updated!!!!

Hi A., I definately do not feel that it is "wrong" for you to chose not to send your child to preschool. I beleive you are doing things socially for her & that is great. My daughter was also a bright child & I chose to send her to one year of preschool just 3 days a week for the social aspect of it & b/c I had a child 2 1/2 years younger than her & I felt it was our time to have some alone time since my daughter & I had that for her first 2 1/2 years before my son was born. My son on the other hand, was not as bright as my daughter & I sent him to 2 years of preschool & kindergarden was still hard for him when he got there. I think if you are not chosing to send your daughter I would contact the school she would go to in Kindergarten & see what things they require your child to know before she starts. We just moved here to Florida 9 months ago but in our home town the kids had to know a list of things for Kindergarden. Although my son knew these things, he still had a rough go of it. My daughter learned what she needed in Preschool. Some of it I worked with her on before my youngest was born but once he was born it limited my time with her, so I needed someone to prepare her for school. I hope that helps!

I think sending her is a personal decision you have to make. My oldest, who is almost 5 and in Pre-K, did not go to preschool. I wanted it for all the same reasons you have mentioned. But we live in a small town and there was nothing that seemed right for us. So I debated on senting her to Pre-K because she was super shy til 4 years old. But she started Pre-K late in Sept.. You would never know that she was shy or not been in a daycare or preschool setting. She was fine the first day. I was so worried. But the teacher was surprised at how great she did the first day, like she was there from the beginning. I worked with her at home, just like you and enjoyed the time with her. I also have a almost 3 year old too. So do what you feel is right. My daugher is at the top if her class, in with a small group of her fellow students starting early math and reading. She is not behind and in someways adjusted better than others. I like to think it is because i gave her a good start at home and let her lead in what was right for her. She was just ready then to go to school.
Again do what you feel is right.

Hi A.....I think I've written to you before. First of all, DO NOT feel guilty if you choose not to send your daughter to preschool!! I applaud you for spending time with her, unlike many parents today. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping her home!!

In fact, when my daughter was in preschool, she was always sick, to the point where the dr. recommended that I take her out of preschool. Then we found a small Christian preschool that only met for 2 mornings per week. This was perfect, because it got her the social contacts and classroom behavior training which helped her to grow emotionally, and also I met lots of moms in similar situations, some of whom became lifelong friends! This school, (Coral Springs Christian Preschool) also taught the kids about how God loves them, and the teachers were very loving to the kids. As they got older, the classes went to 3 mornings a week, and then 5 (for the 4 year olds)....then they were ready for kindergarten! So, you might want to look at something like that. But really, enjoy your time with her while you can....they are grown and off to school before you know it. I worked when my kids were little and had a nanny help me....but looking back, I wish I had spent that time with them, myself. You can't get it back! It used to annoy me when I couldn't even go to the bathroom for 2 minutes without leaving the door open, or when the kids would hang on my legs and not let me cook or clean. Then last year, when my daughter first got on the high school bus, I cried! It really felt like they had outgrown the need for me. Of course that is not true; even adult kids need their parents, but my point is that you should treasure the time you two have together, take lots of pictures and videos, and hold these things in your heart!

this is not a question you should ask other people because you know the answer.

i know the answer for me. i was a stay at home mama and when i went to toddler music classes with my lo she would sit outside the circle and pick her nose. now she is a child who needs to be thrown into social activities.
really look at what you want to for child and if you able to give it her at this age.

If she stays home take her places for the emperience, parks.zoos,beaches fieldtrip her south fla fair and exposition yearly. Belle glade huge farms, show her a mule train(try calling sambos farms, go fishing, teach her to swim, ocean pond andpool they are all different types of swimming, hunt frog and mudbugs show her small towns compared to wpb experence will add more to her language than anything else see the everglades

I sent my daughter to daycare when she was 2 and my son when he was 18 months. My brother did not send his son to any type of school until pre-k, and sent his daughter to preschool at age 2.
The three that were in daycare/preschool were, and still are, academically ahead of the game. My nephew is now going to be 11. He was behind academically and socially. He has 1 or 2 friends but he has never wanted a birthday party nor does he ask to play with friends. He is socially very awkward.
The other 3 are very social and have many friends. As an educator, I say if you can even go a few days part time, you will see a world of difference in social and academic abilities for your child.

Star (that's my name,, too) is still pretty young for pre-school. Hope your public school is a good environment, and kindergarden is when they start. Why put another financial burden on your family? Going to the museums, library, playground, all the "free" things are for us to enjoy while the children are little, and then some.
If you google "Home Schooling" you will find dozens of familes going in this direction and they have activities (tennis, chess, art, math, etc) usually at someone's home or at the park. I think you will this satisfying. I did this with my youngest, then started him in a Montessori school 1st through 4th grade. Now, that was a fabulous environment!

My daughter is currently in the 3's program at her preschool. She absolutely LOVES it! I am also a SAHM. I decided to enroll her in preschool for the same reasons you stated. While I love having her home with me, I also wanted her to have a few hours a week where she could play with others, learn, etc. She only goes to school 2 days a week for 4 hours each day. It's just enough for her. Each morning when she wakes up, she still asks if "today is a school day". She really looks forward to it! I also felt a little guilty when I first decided to put her in the program but that quickly diminished when I saw how much she loved school and how much she was learning! Good luck with whatever you decide! :)

No matter how you dress it up with "curriculum" or activities, 2 and 3 year old pre-"school" is just daycare. Why pay someone else to do the things you do with your own child for free and with a better connection and understanding?

I am a first time, SAHM and will not be using pre-"school" for my son. My husband and I both have graduate degrees and are intelligent and are certainly capable of teaching him his alphabet and numbers. My son shows signs of definite intelligence and we will work on our basics at home so he is ready for kindergarten. Then it's just an issue of whether we use a small private school or homeschool.

Good luck and don't let anyone dissuade you from doing what you know is best for your child.

My son is 3 1/2 and has not gone to any preschool yet. I suppose I will send him for pre-K in the fall, but I don't think he has suffered one bit by not going. I do work, and he goes to a private sitter with 4 other boys he can play with. Every Tuesday my husband has off of work, so that is Daddy Day. Lots of days my husband or I go in late, so he is not at the sitter all day. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME YOU WILL EVER, I REPEAT, EVER, HAVE YOUR CHILD ALL TO YOURSELF! I am not in any big hurry to send him to school. He loves his life, his first question when he wakes up every morning is "is it a daddy day or a mommy day?" Once he is in the school system, he's in it until college, then work for the rest of his life. Why rush it? I never went to preschool and I excelled at school, have a college degree, a good marriage - why does everyone think that you have to rush kids out of the house these days. I think in more instances it hurts, rather than helps. You can learn just as much at home as you do in these early school programs. Plus, your child learns love and security and faith from you which will carry him all the days of his life. There is no better foundation to grow and learn on.

What you are doing is better than preschool. Don't sweat it.

I did the same with my daughter and she's now 14 yrs old, perfectly well adjusted, and is the top of her class.

My son went to preschool starting at 3, but that was a different circumstance. I was divorced and had to go back into the workforce full-time. So there was no choice. Both of my kids are equally well-adjusted.

Enjoy the time you have at home! :)

My daughter attends preschool 3 days a wk for 3 hours a day. I'm also a stay-at-home mom and love spending time with her. It's a joy (and some days a challenge too ;)

My daughter, age 3, is an only child without any cousins or other kids in the neighborhood. I send her to school to be around her peers and give her to the "social" education I can't provide her at home. We've done storytime at the library too since she was an infant. But my daughter will not leave my side in those situations. We also did gym class and I was the only mom jumping and walking like a crab, along with the toddlers and the instructors.

If your daughter is doing other activities like gymnastics, etc., then let your conscience be clear. It sounds like you are doing a great job raising her. She'll be in school soon enough. They do grow so fast. Good luck with baby # 2.

N.

PS
Maybe you'll change your mind when baby #2 arrives.