Is It Wrong of Me to Be Mad That He Moved Another Female and Her Kids in Rent Fr

Updated on September 22, 2019
S.B. asks from Omaha, NE
22 answers

My boyfriend and I lived together until he got mad one day and kicked me out . so I left. Shortly after he allowed another female to move in with him. This female is same female he messaged one of his male friends about saying he was going to try to hook up with. Any ways he thinks I am mad for no reason saying she is just friend. I just recently started being allowed to go back over there since she ia gone alot. Her room ia upatairs with his (there ia no door between there beds) when there is 2 rooms downstairs and also apace in basement. So why is ahe pretty much in aame room as him. Should I be mad about this or am I over reacting. She also leaves her kids with him for several hours and he puts up with it. I think there ia more going on than just friends. Please tell me your thoughts

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answers from Miami on

This may come across as blunt, but, are you REALLY that hard up to get laid to put up with all this drama and nonsense? So many men out there, why would you be with someone who kicks you out, allows you back in, but only at certain times, when his "friend" that he tried to hook up with is not around? Hellooo???? Does that not tell you what is going on? He is playing you both like a fiddle, the other woman at least has no idea that you're in the home when she is gone, but YOU know she is there, sleeps in a bed next to his, and had intentions to hook up with this man all along, and you're TOLERATING all this and sleeping with him while he sleeps with her too?!??!

More than likely, that bed next to his is where her KIDS sleep, while she sleeps in the same bed as HIM. Like I said, you're either desperate or you must enjoy drama to put up with all this BS! Have some self-respect. I truly feel sorry for this woman's kids, having to put up with a revolving door of men, being left in the care of this filthy jerk who is a stranger to them, and witnessing his interactions with another woman while their mother is out. How sad. I bet this isn't the first household they have been shuffled to, and this is the example they are growing up with. Sad, really, to grow up with so much dysfunction. This man is not fit to be a boyfriend, much less a stepfather, but they're the ones getting the shorter end of the stick because they have no say.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Indianapolis on

It seems you need others to tell you what you already know. He doesn't want you. He has who he wants. Don't let him play you both. Move on.

8 moms found this helpful

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answers from Denver on

He is not your boyfriend. He is a former boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend. He kicked you out of your home. He moved another woman and her children into his house. You are now "allowed" to go back into the house. It's no business of yours what rent he does or does not charge, who sleeps where, and who watches this woman's children.

What's going on is that you are still thinking you're in a relationship with this man. He's your ex. Plain and simple. Stop going to his house. Stop wondering about who he lives with now and what the arrangements are. If you have any important belongings in the house, go one more time to get your stuff. If it's just thrift store stuff or clothes you don't need, abandon the stuff.

Don't waste a single minute more being mad. Be thankful that you no longer have to be in a relationship with a selfish, abusive, cheating person.

Spend some time taking care of yourself. Go for healthy walks in a nice park. Eat well. If you have a job, do it to the best of your abilities. If you don't have a job, get one. Get a hobby. Talk to a friend (not about this guy but about the weather, about harmless enjoyable things), and make sure the friends you have are helpful and kind. Volunteer at a shelter for people or animals. Go to church or a social meet-up club.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Don’t get mad, be thankful! You’re out. Go live your life!
He is a jerk and he isn’t ever going to change.
Run away as fast as you can!

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

He's not your boyfriend. He's a player. He's using you.

If you're ever using the phrase "allowed to go over there" about a man, you're not in an equal relationship. If a man things you are "mad for no reason," then he's not concerned with your emotional wellbeing, and he doesn't have any ability to be a partner to you.

So, if he were devoted to you and just "helping out a friend," he wouldn't have kicked you out and he'd be much more open about it to you. That's not the case. So, the question is, why are you going over there? Does he want to rub your nose in this situation and make you grovel for his attention? Does he get a kick out of being in control of your emotions? If so, why are you with him and what do you find appealing and admirable about him? If he wants to have sex with you, then you're being used. Please go get tested for sexually transmitted infections because you are sleeping with a man who is sleeping with someone else. Get treated for anything right away, and then get counseling to figure out better ways to make choices and find what you need in a partner.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Why did you move back in?
What are you looking for in this relationship?
Stop wasting your time.
He's running a hotel - not a home - and he doesn't care about you.

Get yourself to a point where you can live independently in your own place - and then do it.
You don't need a man to put a roof over your head.
Control who you live with.
For goodness sake do NOT get pregnant with him.
Talk to a womens shelter, make a plan and leave - move far away.
While you are mad - you are not mad enough - he put you out on the street and you came back.
Never mind what he does or who he does it with - he's not worth it.
Live independently and stop living with men.
Talk to a counselor so you can find out why you think living like you have been is ok.
It's not - it's not stable - and everyone deserves stability.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

He got mad at you SO he could kick you out. It was his plan. The fact that you are gullible enough to believe his garbage is just a bonus in his eyes. Now he can string along BOTH of you. He sounds really gross. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near such a disgusting human being. You might want to get checked for std’s. Yuck! Maybe some of those poor kids are his.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

You already know the answer. He's telling her that you aren't in the picture or just trying to get him back to explain your calls and texts. He's telling you that she just lives there and nothing is going on. So she thinks you are a an ex and you know she's a side chick. Move on honey. This guy isn't worth your time and effort.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Why are you even putting yourself through this? Broom this guy. he's not worth the time.
No, it's not wrong of you to be mad. You're entitled to your feelings.

Find someone who respects YOU and LOVE YOU for you.

He kicked you out. Now stay out. If it's YOUR place and he moved in, then you tell him to get his stuff out. If you moved in with him? Find your own place. Live for you and be with someone who puts you first.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Springfield on

This guy isn't good enough for you. You deserve better. Leave now, and don't look back.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Really? Why are you putting up with this? Is your self esteem that low? You are worth more than dealing with someone who does not value you.

You are not married. Be glad you dodged a bullet and move on.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Oh please! Am I reading this right? He has said he wants to hook up with her, throws you out, moves her and her kids in, and you don’t get that he is having sex with her?

Why are you going back over there? Do you hate yourself or something? He threw you out! Why would you have anything to do with him, regardless of this woman?


7 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I looked back at your previous questions, and can see why you're confused. You've been hurt before.

He's no good S.. He's a dud. Sorry. I know that probably hurts.

He was just looking to hook up with this other woman. So he kicked you out, and has now got her living with him and he's probably trying to look like a good guy and will watch her kids for her. He's 'wooing' her.

He also lets you come over now, probably keeping you on the side in case this new gal doesn't work out.

S., you deserve (and I think you have a child), so so so SO much better. You do. This guy (jerk) does not deserve you.

You need to move on. As hard as that is, stop going over. He allows you to? Nah. Don't bother. Seriously. It's hard now because you probably want to go, but why? It's just hurting you to see this other woman's stuff over there, and why put yourself through that. Don't.

Have self esteem (and you'll keep building it) by putting yourself first, and don't go over. Tell yourself you're worth more, and just stop - don't allow this man to be in your life anymore - and you can do better. No man is better than this guy. And some day, since this guy is not in your life anymore (YOUR CHOICE) there will be room/space for a good man. Promise.

Take care and all the best. You should keep us posted. Trust me, a lot of us have gone through this. You do deserve better. You really do. xo

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Why do you even WANT to be there? Are you homeless?

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i don't know that it's necessarily 'wrong', but since he's clearly hooking up with this 'female' (is she not a woman?) and you're clearly still jealous and possessive over him despite his shoddy treatment of you, it's not particularly healthy.

why not stop going over and checking on his sleeping arrangements and her child care and move on?


6 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Why do you care what he thinks? He is telling you black is white and you are believing him. That is what is wrong with this picture. Instead of seeing what a jerk he is you are joining his gaslighting and wondering what is wrong with yourself.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Toledo on

Of course it's not wrong of you to be mad. I'd be furious. In fact, I'd be so mad that I would walk away and hopefully never see him again.

Don't waste your time on someone who treats you like this.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Okay. So your boyfriend kicked you out.. I will assume the relationship is over .. why on Earth do you just not move on? Who cares who he let in rent free or babysitter blah blah blah. Is he the only man left in Omaha? Stop being a doormat! He will always treat you like one!

Move on let him worry about who you sleeping with or dating etc!

( was reading persons comments below me.. regarding you being hurt before) stop dating and moving in with losers. And you are now sneaking in when she is not there.. guess what REALITY CHECK.. if she was only a friend/roommate he nor she would have a problem if he wants to rekindle the relationship. He is sleeping with her.. who cares move on! Just the action of him kicking you out that’s disrespectful in itself! That’s what type of a man he is! And do you like being treated that way???

Get a good man! Raise your standards!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

He kicked you out and moved another woman and her kids in. Forget about trying to make sense of this mess. She is not just a friend. He wanted to hook up with her, and now he has. You can only go over there when she is gone? You are "allowed" to go over now? It all sounds ridiculous. He does not respect you and there is no way nothing is going on with the other woman. Just walk away and never look back. Don't even be mad. It's not worth it. Just go! You don't deserve that.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

You are the side chick, leave the loser.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

You are not boyfriend and girlfriend any longer.

He kicked you out and then moved in another female with whom he'd previously been trying to have sex.

What more do you need to tell you that you have no relationship whatsoever with this poor excuse of a man?

Hard to believe you are asking if you are over-reacting. You are in denial, and you are treating yourself with the utmost disrespect by allowing him to treat you this way and still thinking there's a relationship here, not to mention WANTING a relationship with this dud.

I'm not sure how old you are, or if you have children of your own, but please go to the self-help section in your library or bookstore and peruse the books on relationships. Not as in how to get him back, but on how you can learn to see the value in yourself so you don't keep repeating this pattern of accepting any scraps of attention that any male throws your way.

After you do some reading, find a counselor who can help you put this all together and maybe even a support group for women who are coming out of unhealthy relationships.
It's hard to do on your own, especially if you don't even see it, but it's essential that you do this.

This is no way to live, and it's certainly no type of relationship in which to have children. Hopefully, you don't have any right now. I feel very sorry for his and for what he's putting them through.

Block his number; forget he ever existed (yes, I know it's hard, but lots of things in life are hard), and get on with your life before you wake up one day and regret all of the time wasted on an unworthy guy.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

There's something about someone being unavailable that seems to attract so many of least in our past lives. He's not available, ain't going to ever be available and that is not love. It is lust. It is good old fashioned desire for someone who really isn't good at all. Please read every single one of these notes below and follow the advice. Unavailable can be find the stable comfortable guy who loves YOU. I used to advise my children of this and I will tell you now...stop thinking -how can I please this person and start thinking -does he love me? Is he making me happy? And get going. Life can be very wonderful with the completely available, comfortable loving guy who really wants to just be only with you.

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