Is It Possible to Discipline a 9 1/2 Month Old? Baby Is Scratching & Pinching

Very typical. Most of my children and sisters children did the pinching and scratching. We collectively figured out that it is a response they are trying to trigger. Once you react they know that this is a way to get a response. I would take my childs hand and stroke it down her face and say soft. They take hers to mine and say soft. Try not to show an emotion when she pinches you. The more you react the more exciting if you will it will get to the child. Sometimes mine would pinch then cry. Because she knew she hurt me. This stage will pass. Don't be surprised if she pinches others too. Mine were running at 10 months and would get a hold of her brother and pinch away. Talk about getting a good response. My son would have to contain himself and say no pinch to his little sister and walk away. This will pass.

Hi A.,
They're really too young at this age to discipline. You're right -- she really doesn't get it yet. One suggestion I have though is that every time she does it, you say no firmly anyway, and then set her down. She isn't too young to eventually make the connection between her action, and losing your contact. But I'm afraid there's not a whole lot you can do except that. Eventually she will get it. The only other thing you can try is distracting her with a toy or someting each time she does it. Not real helpful, I know, but hang in there.

My daughter did that too. When she did it - I put her down. She always wanted to be held and so when I made her get down and got up from her - she threw a fit. She eventually learned that when she pinched there was a consequence.

I would definately keep saying "NO" to her though. My dd learned that word faster than I thought possible, and now even if she ignores it she knows what it means (at 15 mo.) but she also knows that there will be a consequence to her action. I havent started time outs yet..... but I am sure that will be next on my to do list!

Hi A.,
This is just a suggestion, but how about putting mittens on her hands and tying them on? This would certainly stop her from scratching and pinching everyone who holds her. She might not like it too much, but I see it as a practical and immediate solution to the problem and she just might get this connection of the mittens on her hands and not being able to scratch. Worth a try?

Depending on the baby, 9.5 mos may not be too young. It is more like teaching them by conditioning than discipline persay.

When my son was around 9 months, he would always put things in his mouth, so I got into the habit of saying, "NO mouth" firmly but without any other kinds of emotion. Then after saying that, I would show him to just play with the object in his hands and say, "Play with hands". After repeatedly doing this with consistent words, my son stopped putting things into his mouth after 2 months. That is a long time of being persistent but it's worthwhile since you don't have to worry about it when you are not there that they will put things in their mouth. Conditioning is what we do everyday anyways by having routines so just focus on simple words and showing them alternate actions related to the specific problems. hope this helps.

Just about every baby does this, it IS a phase, and an important one - she's learning Cause & Effect. She is learning that SHE can Cause things to happen, and your response is the "Effect" - not necessarily "the reaction she wants to get", just a reaction. This idea that SHE is making this happen is INCREDIBLE to her young mind, and she is obviously loving it. Perhaps getting her involved with some tactile activity where she can make things happen - maybe blow bubbles for her and let her pop them? Something visual, tactile and with a noise element. Help her learn the cause & effect, and that DOES include gently saying "No Pinch". I also like saying "Gentle" instead of "no" with younglings like your daughter...take the pinching hand away and stroke it, saying "Gentle Touch". Too many words will go right over her head, and get you even more frustrated. Putting her down when she pinches again after you've told her No or Gentle Touch a few times is also a good "effect" for her to learn, and as long as you do it without yelling or freaking out, it should be one she can understand quickly and accept.

Again - a phase that WILL pass, as long as you let it. :) Good luck!

My 7 month old son does this as well but he's not doing it as often. When he hurts me I yell "Ouch" and tell him "No, that's ouchy". Sometimes I will also put him down if what he did was particularly painful. My son also loves to touch faces. We will tell him "gentle, use an open hand" and if he does then we will continue to let him touch our face. If he grabs, pinches or scratches then we will move our face out of reach. It seems to me slowly working. This is the same technique we used with our daughter.