Is It Ok to Wear Black to My SIL Winter Wedding?

Updated on December 28, 2008
K.V. asks from Whitney, TX
25 answers

So I have been debating on if I should wear a little black dress I bought. All of the immediate family including my husband and kids are in the wedding party. I dont want to wear some bright color and stand out, so I am at a loss. I asked my sil but I think she may be too polite to tell me what she really thinks. It is a formal wedding. The dress is sleveless, empire waist, gathered and bubbley at the hem. knee lenghth. The wedding is at 4pm.

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So What Happened?

Thank You SO much for taking the time to let me know your opinions!! 20 responses later I've decided to wear the little black dress. Definatly going to get some cute colorful accessories! Thanks again!!
K.

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

K.,

The dress sounds trendy and fun, so I feel like it would be fine! I don't feel like all those stuffy rules are really relevant anymore... most younger people won't even know that someone might consider it "improper." : )

Maybe you could wear some fun, colored shoes, jewelry, etc. to make the dress "not so black." ??? Just a thought.

I also think that as long as the bride thinks its ok, then its ok. : )

Have fun!
S.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think the black is fine as long as there are no "grieving" connotations behind it-lol- although the sleeveless issue is probably not appropriate for winter maybe??? Where is the wedding taking place has a lot to do with it as well.

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J.I.

answers from Dallas on

Black is no longer taboo. My colors were deep red and black. I would add some color to it though. Shoes, scarf, jewelry, etc.

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M.B.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I think black is fine. I have worn black to several weddings. If you are comfortable in it go for it.
GL

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

It's fine, just wear something a little sparkely to make it a bit more joyful ( shoes, purse, or dramatic necklace)

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

As long as it's not super sexy and it's more of an evening event, it should be fine. I like the splash of color idea that someone else mentioned, too. I made the mistake (but I was young at the time and had a REALLY limited wardrobe) of wearing a little black dress to a lunch time event - the Bride didn't hate me, but when I looked at pictures years later, I though - WHAT in the world was I doing wearing that dress? I should have borrowed one or run to K-mart or something! LOL!

You'll look great! Have fun

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

I don't see why not, sounds like a pretty cocktail dress and for an evening event it should be fine. Just don't wear your funeral clothes like my mother did when I married the first time :o) yeah...she hated him!

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

I was married 5 years ago today and had a 5:00 wedding. I actually preferred black for those who would be included in family pictures. And, I always wear black to weddings. I hope this helps! Have fun!

L.P.

answers from Tyler on

Yes! Wear the dress and feel fabulous! I searched websites and stressed over this issue before I found Mamasource, bless you finding a great place to field this question!

Have a great time at the wedding!

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B.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am in the wedding business (event planner, florist, photographer) and it is totally appropriate to wear a black cocktail dress to an early evening, winter wedding. Especially if it is formal. You can try to punch it up with a shawl/wrap that has some color. This can dress it up (cover you up)for the earlier ceremony then just remove it for the reception. It will of course also keep you warm.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

maybe add a subtle colored shash and/or a silk chiffon wrap/pashmina wrap/ to liven it up... google to find stores...
and/or add maybe some FUN black/colored shoes/ purse jewelry...
just some thoughts...happy shopping...

T.H.

answers from Dallas on

A lady wearing black to a wedding may be a common occurance, but it is still an etiquette no-no. "Common" does not make it right, only...er...common. A gentleman traditionally wears a suit to a wedding and gentlemen's suits are traditionally black, dark blue, or grey. The gentleman is free to add a splash of color which can be a beautiful silk tie or a colorful silk handkerchief in the breast pocket.....with that being said in more modern times black is allowed at an evening wedding in most cases and if the wedding party is also wearing primarily black. An evening wedding is after 6 p.m. not 4.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

It is absolutely fine to wear black to a wedding. The idea of black being only for a funeral is a dated fashion "rule". It kind of went out the window with the whole idea of not wearing white after Labor Day.

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K.Y.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like an appropriate dress to me. As long as it looks like it fits the event, then a black dress is fine. You could wear some colorful accessories if you are feeling that you need to liven up the color a little.

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

K. i think that dress sounds perfect. It is nice of you to not want to clash and black goes with everything so you won't stand out!!! Formal to me says BLACK! you will look great have fun!
~B.

D.L.

answers from Dallas on

That sounds like a really cute dress! Now I'm not totally versed on etiquette but personally I would only wear it if the wedding if it were "black tie" formal.

You could also use a colorful wrap or colorful jacket since it is sleeveless and since it's a winter wedding.

Some may say it is old fashioned to worry about that but there is still a level of taste and respect that one should follow when attending such a sacred event. It's because our society has become so immune to ettique (it seems) that nothing is special anymore.

Ok, I kinda got off there. I think it would be OK to wear if you put some color with it or the colorful wrap or jacket.

Have Fun!
D.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like the dress is cute. Just accessories with lighter things...maybe white pearl necklace and earings, and a handbag and shoes that match eachother and are lighter in color and a wrap. My wedding was 10 years ago, and the colors I chose for the wedding party were black and white.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

little black dresses are very popular at weddings now. I think as long as it is tasteful it will be perfect. You could always put a shawl with it that is another color that would not stand out, but would add a little pop of color.

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

Personally I see nothing wrong with it at all, but I have overheard several people at weddings complain about it. If you feel she is at all conservative or old fashioned in any of her beliefs I would probably opt for something else just in case. You wouldn't be wrong wither way. Have a good time!

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Black is perfectly fine for a wedding. It is old fashioned to think black is inappropriate. As long as you feel great in the dress, wear it!

Have fun!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I would definitely pair it with a pretty wrap or jacket--a shantung in teal or royal blue, NOT RED, and simple black pumps. This is not an "after 5" affair, so don't overdo. No sequins!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

It is done today and is no longer an etiquette "no no" (per Emily Post), as long as it doesn't look like you're going to a funeral, which your dress doesn't sound like at all. .

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

of course. black is elegant. this is the 2000 years... go ahead and enjoy...

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, it's okay to wear the dress! Black is totally appropriate!

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H.T.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, the only color you can't wear is white, like the bride. I am a wedding coordinator and see black dresses at weddings all the time.

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