Is It Ok to Invite Boys to a Girls 9 Year Old Camping Birthday Party?

Updated on August 07, 2012
K.C. asks from Tampa, FL
17 answers

Just wondering...my daughter is turning 9 soon and has some friends who are boys. We've known them for a long time, but some of the parents we only know on a casual basis. The kids are all her age. We are camping out in our backyard and the plan is, of course, for the boys and girls to have their own tents. The invites haven't been sent yet, because my husband and I were discussing it tonight and now we are having 2nd thoughts whether this is appropriate or not. At first I wasn't quite sure, then decided it would be ok thinking they are all pretty innocent still, and we would be there to supervise (I planning on sleeping in a tent, too). But my husband is thinking that maybe we shouldn't and now I am 2nd guessing my decision again. What do you think? How would you feel having your 9 year old daughter camping out at a birthday party in the backyard in separate tents knowing their are boys there too? Is it just too late now for boys/girls to do this sort of thing? The girls outnumber the boys, if that makes a difference. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

We invited everybody after we spoke to the parents ahead of time. Ultimately the boys ended up coming and not sleeping over. It was a perfect party. Open communication with the parents seemed to be the answer. Thanks to everyone who contributed.

Featured Answers

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My boys go to summer camp where there are girls in the other cabins, so I don't see how this would be any different. As long as the kids are supervised I don't see what the problem would be.

2 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Alexandria on

Have all of the children at the party. Let only the girls stay the night. That's just my opinion.

I guess in a previous time it was ok for children that age to have co-ed sleep overs. But now days... not so much. Children are exposed to more, they have WAY more knowledge than we did at that age.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

The only way I would is if an adult was "camping" with then all night in the tent.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

nope, not overnight for the boys....have them leave before bedtime. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from San Diego on

I would invite the boys but have them leave in the evening and only let the girls spend the night. That way the bday girl gets to spend her birthday with all her friends but there are no issues with boys spending the night. Maybe you could even offer for your husband to drop the boys off at their homes so that parents don't need to worry about picking them up.

Hope she has a great party.

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D.D.

answers from Medford on

Depends on the relationship of the kids and parents. At my kids school alot of kids families are pretty close, as long as the boys and girls sleep in different tents

.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It wouldn't bug me but it would bug a lot of parents. Either segregate the tents, or have an adult present in each tent, and make sure the parents know it will be coed and how you plan to manager it.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you are camping in one of the tents with them, then I don't see a problem.
I have a 14 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter, and I totally understand the concerns. Just having a girlfriend of my daughter's spend the night makes me feel like I need to fall over myself explaining how my son won't be an issue!

Urg.
We were going to do a camp out thing once with our kids and some friends' kids, too. All the other kids were girls. My son was the only boy. But I didn't want to make him sleep in the house! Ended up not happening, but not because of that... Our dog became very ill unexpectedly and we thought we were going to have to have her euthanized. It was an awful 2 weeks.
Then the camping thing never came up again.
At their ages NOW, I wouldn't do it. But at 9? Sure!

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

I agree that either mom is in one tent with dad in the other, or the boys go home in the evening are your best options.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Oh are you gonna have fun! They will be up half the night cat-calling at each other, singing silly songs, trying to play tricks, telling ghost stories, shrieking, etc. Even the girls will do some of that with no boys around - WITH the boys will be a field day (...night!)

I went to something similar when I was around that age, and boy, was it fun. I didn't care that I got two hours of sleep and none of the other kids did either. The adults cared a little more! Pretty much you have to be willing to not get sleep to make sure that they don't sneak off (not necessarily for hanky-panky of the 9 year old type, but because of dares and pranks.)

So think about this and think about the noise level for your neighbors.

Have fun!

Dawn

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't do it, but if you do, you need an adult (or two) "sleeping" out there with them.

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R.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I say go for it. I have an 8 yr old daughter and a 12 yr old boy. When my son was about that age, he started to notice that some girls parents (his friends, people he liked as a FRIEND) started making comments "why do you hang out with him so much?" It really irritated him that he was viewed as guilty for some unknown reason and he need to be viewed with suspicion. He didn't understand it.

Then on the other side, his peers at public elementary school would make it a big deal if anyone had a friend of the opposite sex because it mean you were "BF/GF" and that was just garbage. So he felt like he wasn't allowed to have female friends. And I think this is a shame. Because if they do go to public school, I think it's good for them to be friendly (and civil) towards each other. If it works right, it teaches social skills and empathy and SHOCKER: they will look out for each other. They'll have each other's back. WHY don't people see this???

Yes, kids do eventually reach an age when you wouldn't have co-ed sleepovers, but 9 isn't it.

I say it's OK for them all to sleep over. I trust your judgment, that you aren't going to invite any troublesome boys OR girls. And you will BOTH be present.

So what exactly, will the big harm be if they spend the night? What do you fear will happen?

The only thing I would caution against is having too big a group. Then nobody will get any sleep. :)

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Personally, I would be okay with it if I knew at least one of you were staying in the yard with them and they had separate tents. My 10 year old has only had a couple of sleepovers, but I always stay within earshot of the action, and they know it when I do.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with TF. My 9 yo however is not allowed to go on sleepovers yet so she would be leaving the party as well. Happy Birthday to your daughter!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it would be ok. 9 is still young enough that you shouldn't have to worry.

If you do decide it's not appropriate, consider inviting the boys for the evening fun, but not to spend the night.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I would have the party for all the kids. But only have the girls stay over in the tent. Sounds like a great time for the kids!

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My son is 8.5 and two of his best friends are girls. His bday party he had a sleepover ~ with boys and girls. We all slept in the living room on the floor.
I think it is absolutely ok. They are young and innocent still. If the parents don't make it a big deal the kids won't know to.
Maybe the best option here is that Mom sleeps in the tent with the girls and Dad sleeps with the boys.
I certainly would not have a problem with this at all.

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