Is It OK for a Mom to Drive Her Daughter & Her Friend's to a Boy's House to TP?

Updated on November 15, 2010
S.B. asks from San Diego, CA
28 answers

Hi All-

I'm asking this for my sister. She has a son who is 12 and their house was TP'd by a girl. & her friend's. The girls left a note and I understand the whole thing was rather cute. Well late last night my sister heard voices outside and she thought it was her son & husband so went outside to find out what was going on. She saw the girl and her friend's TPing the house again. When they saw my sister, they ran to the car that was ideling at the curb. It turns out the girls mom drove them to the house! Since they were caught red-handed, the mom made the girls turn around and clean up the mess. She didn't have them clean up the mess the time that they weren't caught!!
We find this wierd!! Is it OK to drive pre-teenagers to someones house and TP it!? Honestly at least the girls mother knew where they were at night but in our opinion it doesn't seem to be the sort of thing a mom should be condoning.

Thanks for your thoughts!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

7 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

That mom who drove those kids to TP a house needs to get a life and act like a grown-up! What a bonehead!

5 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

BAHAHAHA, this has got to be one of the weirdest parenting questions I have ever read on this site!

I have an ENDLESS sense of humor, but no I would not willingly knowingly be the get away car for my kids commiting a crime against a friend in this way.....

On the other hand, if someone did it to US, yeah I would think, well that's pretty far out there, but, no, I probably wouldn't make a big deal over it!

5 moms found this helpful

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Ummmmm....
My dad drove truck loads of us girls around to TP when I had slumber parties. It was fun. We had it done to us in return, no big deal. We got out and cleaned it in like 20 to 30 minutes. He would even do the shaving cream on the sidewalk and bust eggs also. He coached baseball teams my brother's age, so he always knew where all the boys lived! Made it so much more fun! Good times looking back. And the parents were never mad at us. All the parents knew us and we saw them at school all the time. They would laugh. Same with prank calling. Can't do that anymore really, but that was fun also. :)

****HAVE TO ADD- because of the 'friend' comment! Seriously? Lol! If you KNEW my parents! Ha! I had some of the STRICTEST parents in the world! Did they let us have fun when fun was earned and deserved? Yes! I made honor roll, was a cheerleader, and my dad a baseball coach. He, in fact, was the coach everyone wanted because he was the STRICTEST coach! Lol! The friend comment just makes me laugh! Drinking?! I STILL don't drink in front of my parents! #1- I don't like to. When I did though, well, my parents STILL don't know I've had an alcoholic beverage and I'm 32. I had the best, disciplined parents who still knew how to make a group of kids happy when they'd earned it. Harmless fun is just harmless fun. Period. TPing is better than being out drunk all night, and it cleans up extremely easy.

6 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Wow. Is it okay for a parent to drive their kids to someone's house to vandalize it? Lemme think... umm... NO! Totally not okay! What was that woman thinking?

5 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I would call the parents of the other child and ask for secret permission before I did that.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Is it OK? Ummm...NO! Way to set an example and be a role model! To me this just smacks of parents trying to be their kids' friend rather than their parents. When did it become OK for parents to encourage and facilitate their kids juvenile shenanigans? When did parents stop being adults and decided to start acting like 12 year olds again along with their kids? How irresponsible can you be? Would the mom have made them clean it up if they had not been caught or would she just have allowed them to TP the house and left the mess for the homeowners to deal with again? Will that that mom allow her daughter to drink at 14 and God knows what else because she's more worried about being her daughter's "friend" than being "The Mom"!

When I was a kid, other kids TP'ed houses, but I don't think their parents made it possible or helped them in any way - the kids were on their own and if they caught they got punished!

5 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I think it is just wierd.

I did my share of TPing, but would never have thought it fun if my Mom were with me. Never did it before highschool and I could drive either. I would not take my children if they asked, because if they got caught, I would tell them (like I am sure that my mother would have) that it is wrong to TP someones house, which is part of the fun of it. I would also send them to applogize and clean it up (though laugh when they were out of the room.) I think it is harmless, we never TPed anyone we did not like, and it was kind of an honor to get it done to you, but we all knew that we were going to be in some kind of trouble if we got caught. We wore black, and we snuck into the yard, all part of the fun, as is knowing that your friend will be pulled out of bed (on a weekend) early to go clean it up...I know I was!

Relatively harmless, but very odd that Mom is in on it. Takes helecoptor parenting to a whole new high or low, not quite sure...

M.

5 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Where I grew up, toilet papering a place was considered vandalism. It wasn't cute or a friendly thing to do. Some would call it bullying. If it happened to the only black/jewish/gay family in the neighborhood it could be considered a hate crime.
I think it's pretty sad when an adult who's suppose to be teaching their kids right from wrong seems incapable of doing an important part of their job of being a responsible parent.
What does 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor' mean to this woman?
Perhaps the police dept should explain it to her sometime and then give her and her child some community service so they can think about it.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

We used, to always do this as kids! The only difference, we were always expected to go clean up the next morning. The moms always made us leave a note, saying we'd clean it up the next morning...and we always did!

4 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from New York on

No! So now we are encouraging our kids to vandalize and litter. NICE. They suck!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well... I had no idea kids still did this.

NO, not okay.... much less for the Mom to be driving them around and helping them.
Is she a teenager herself?

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

First of all cannot believe that kids still TP. I have never heard of that happening in or around our neighborhood. And, no-the mom should have never driven these girls to do it. Especially not twice. Obviously this mom is trying to be the 'cool' mom. She will be buying the girls birth control and beer next mark my words.

And if I were your sis I would tell everyone that I know about this. Sooner or later it will get back to 'cool' mom and she won't be feeling so 'cool' then.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Like Theresa N. I have quite a sense of humor. Wouldn't make me angry if our house was TP'd, but I would never drive my kids to do it! In our ridiculously litigious age, I can only imagine police, DFACS & lawsuits being involved if you drove them to TP the wrong kid's house! Some people are incredibly uptight & would find no humor in this.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

The best day of my high school years was the day I woke up and my house had been TP'd. I think I had a glow all day. It isn't usually done in meanness but in a sense of fun. If they were going to be mean they would use bad eggs of rotten food or something nasty. I might give the kids a ride to do it. I might even help if I knew the family.

3 moms found this helpful

S.P.

answers from Nashville on

Why didnt she call the police and make a report. Thats what i would have done and took a picture of them cleaning it up and the mom at the curb so she could be in trouble as well.

3 moms found this helpful

G.W.

answers from Orlando on

heck no....I personally find that pretty classless....

3 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

No it's not Ok. What a weird woman to allow this.

3 moms found this helpful

E.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I personally hate TPing. I would probably be that crabby woman who would call the cops.

However, I have heard in some communities it is an established tradition. However, even in these instances, it seems like the TPers almost get "permission" before they TP? I also think the TPers should return and clean every scrap up the next day (perhaps, if they had to clean up the mess it would suddenly seem less funny). Overall, TPing IMO is weird and messy and environmentally wasteful.

As to parents chaperoning the TPers? Well, maybe better that that a bunch of teenagers roaming free?

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I never got the whole TP thing; however you did say they left a note and it was all very cute which says that your sister didn't mind the first time. I don't think they should have done it again but then again, if I had allowed my daughter and friends (in fact facilitated it), I would have made them clean it up the FIRST time. I would not have driven again.

It was just TP so no damage was done.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

So she thinks vandalism is ok? It is called vandalism here and you can get in some pretty serios trouble with it.

My house was vandalized with more than TP and the kids who got caught paid a nice price for it at the police station.

Another neighbor happened to see a car when her neighbor's house was getting TP'd. She called the police and the MOM who drove them got into as much trouble as the teens.

We have a sense of humor and are not considered "uncoool" plus we have a daughter who is captain of the cheer squad. Rest assured, the coaches also have consequences for anyone on their team for vandalizing anyone's home. Being a good sport does not mean accepting vandalism to your property.

Find something better and more productive to teach kids. Maybe you need to remind her that she is a MOM not a teen.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

When I was in Jr High, we would TP houses during slumber parties. We usually walked to the houses, so I guess looking back, the parents had to know we were out doing it! I don't recall any parent driving us to do it, but that is not to say that didn't happen. I know my mom never drove me or my friends, and never let us leave my house during a slumber party. When we TP'd, we picked girls we didn't like. It was not flattering to have your house TP'd when I was growing up. I personally would not contribute to my child's vandalism, because that is truly what it is as another mom mentioned.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

it depends. I would drive the kids to say, a good friend of mine's house, if we were in the middle of a TP war, (we're in the middle of a different kind of war that's making us question the judgement of exchanging house keys, and involves cross dressing star trek dolls) but otherwise, it's kind of icky. Especially since they were doing it 2 nights in a row!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

my next door neighbor's tree has had toilet paper in it for the past 4 months. it blows in my yard, we have to pick it up all the time. it's really annoying. their teenage son has moved away to college, and there is still toilet paper in their tree. the leaves have fallen off, and there is a roll of toilet paper up there still. i personally think it's a rude, thoughtless thing to do. not to mention the waste of a year's worth of toilet paper. and that much money.

if my kids are going to TP, i suppose i'd rather be in on it than have them doing it behind my back... so in that way i sort of understand it... but i would drive them to a nursing home instead and have them play games with lonely old people, or volunteer to clean up the local park, or something useful.

when i was in college my friends and i made cardboard people. we traced ourselves on cardboard boxes, cut them out, decorated them with paint, yarn, etc, put them on stakes and put the cardboard people in our teacher's yard. we wrote a silly poem about who we were and left it on the door so he knew who did it. that was super fun!!! and much better than TP, in my opinion. suggest that instead!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Providence on

My own mother did this for my friends and I when we were in high school. however, we didn't go back and do it again right after. I think now a days, it is considered something entirely different( considering the responses I saw on here), and probably not taken lightly as it was when I was younger. My house also got tp'd quite a bit when I was younger, and it can be quite messy. But, we were good sports!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ha, here in Austin if you ask the permission of the home owner, you will not get in trouble..

It is actually considered an "honor" to have your house papered and many parents paper the houses with the kids. The dads are awesome at getting the rolls to fly above the trees.. Especially when the kids are in middle school.

I think it depends on where you live and what the traditions are.
Here if you are elected Homecoming Queen, Cheerleader, Football player for the Homecoming, Drum Major.. These are the people that their homes seemed to be Tp'ed the most.

Also many University sports clubs TP around campus to decorate in celebration, especially Basketball..

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

This made me LOL because when I was a teenager my friend's mom drove us around on Homecoming eve to TP because we were underage and you couldn't be out after curfew if you were under 18.

It's tradition to TP the cheerleader's and football player's houses! And if you didn't get TPed it meant you were a nobody. My first two years as a cheerleader I didn't get my house TPed and I was devistated! Even the police knew about homecoming TPing, in fact, our town police escorted us while we TPed a football player's house in a not-so-nice neighborhood. We also included signs. The rule was the teen of the house that got TPed had to clean it up.

Around where we live TPing is not so big of a deal, even when it's not homecoming. It's more of an honor, so I don't see a problem with a parent driving their kid around. Anything past TPing is really vandalism, including shaving cream, forking, mustard, eggs, etc.

The only thing that's risky is if you don't know the homeowner then you don't know if THEY have a sense of humor about it! They could call the police and it could be big trouble.

I think of it like this. My brother would want to go to parties so my parents made him party at their house and no one was allowed to leave until morning. No they did not like him drinking underage, no they did not condone it and no they did not supply any alcohol (but kids snuck it in anyway and they did their best to catch it but they couldn't always). But they either had to lock him up for the whole of his high school years or let him do it where they could keep an eye on him AND his friends. His friends loved parting in my parent's basement and crashing afterward. Their families loved knowing they were safe.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I know here the Cheerleaders tp the football players and the football players tp the Cheerleaders houses. We were tp'ed before. I would think once is enough because it is a real pain to clean up! I know it means your kind of cool when it happens.

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