Is Anyone Elses House Just Permanently Trashed?

YES! My house is CONSTANTLY trashed. My kids treat the floor as a trash can and I REFUSE to clean up after them. They are old enough to know better. My eldest is the worst and his brothers follow along after him. I do make them clean it up about once or twice a week, but they go back to trashing it right after they have cleaned it up. It doesn't matter that I tell them that iti si their owm trash and all they have to do is throw it out right away!

My DH does SOMETIMES help, but not usually. I am home (when I am not running errands or volunteering up at school) but like I said, I refuse to clean up after them!

You are not alone. One of my favorite quotes is "A clean house is the sign of a wasted life".

My first tip is to try to get the kids involved in cleaning when possible (hard with a two year old, but mine liked to pretend to clean with a wet wipe). When my son was three he loved to use the dustbuster, and at five he can run the shark along the floor for a quick carpet sweep.

My second tip is to de-clutter as much as possible. Seriously, every time I feel overwhelmed w/ toys I started getting rid of some of them, or at least packing the ones they don't play with much away in a box for a while. You can swap out what's in the box periodically and they get excited like the toys are new all over again.

I had a friend who kept her carpet covered with old sheets from Goodwill, then she would just shake them out or launder them when they got dirty. That wouldn't help with the laundry situation though! Good luck, I hope this helps!

I thought you were describing my house! I wish I could share ideas, but I am in the same boat. Just tell yourself that wise poem that goes something like this.... "In 100 years, it will not matter what kind of car your drove, if your floors were clean, and if all the laundry was done, what will matter is that you were important in the life of a child" !

When I was pregnant I had 3 teenagers living with me and a grown teenager(my other half)who didnt pick up when I went into labor. This is what I have found works and cuts your time amazingly. get a box or a laundry basket. start in (i am calling the order of my house do yours according to the smart order) front room. pick up everything that doesn't belong put in basket. go to dining room same thing deposit what doesn't belong. go to kitchen have a sind full of water ready pick up what doesn't belong deposit what does. soak all the dishes in the sink of water so you don't have to scrub later. then to the kids bedroom do the same, then bathroom, then your bedroom.

took me 30 minutes to clean the house. make sure you have a trash can in every room and laundry basket in every room. get some lysol wipes(i prefer lysol they have a scourer on them) put a container in the kitchen and bath. back to the kitchen where dishes are soaking spray down all cabinets with cleaner I use vinegar cleaner. let soak while washing dishes that have already been soaking. (do microwave when you do your cabinets.) then wash cabinets and microwave. 45 minutes you have a lot of it done. hint it takes you 20 min. to cook dinner so soak dishes and cabinets while cooking dinner and work on one shelf in the refigirator if you have time to get to it.

for the bath I use lysol toilet bowl cleaners and I use them to clean the bathtub also. :) instead of regular mop and broom I use swiffer mop and broom. the broom part will knock down all cob webs and the spray part of the wet jet wets the floor. lysol wipes work good on the wetjet. 5 minutes to sweep and mop floor. swiffer dusters for knick knacks and pictures. I have went from a clutter fest to organized clutter this way. buy all of your socks in one brand so you dont have to sort socks. wash each kids laundry seperately. put back in their clothes basket and make them put it away unless not old enough. either they put them away or wear them wrinked. get a basket to throw all mail into that has to be kept or other papers. One of the biggest declutter tools I figured out is this most clutter is going to be like tylenol, fingernail clippers etc. I bought a plastic drawer thing at wal mart for all of this to stay in percision screw drivers regular screw driver, pens, tylenol, wipes, diapers, fingernail clippers anything else you can think of I have one of these in every room. pens in every room and scissors too. so you don' thave to keep returning them to where they belong. a small pretty jar would work for most of it. while watching tv take a wipe I use baby wipes sometimes and clean off the end tables and coffee table. :) if you can reach the bath sink while going to the bath clean the sink while you are going # also a perfect tme to clean the base of the toilet also or the door around the handle. I can do my light switch also my toilet is by all of this stuff. your just sitting there anyway:) I havent got good yet but this makes a big diffrence.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I feel your pain! It's a constant battle here too. I work from home so I literally sit here all day looking at everything that has to get done and it depresses the hell out of me! It's overwhelming! And, like you, I have no help. My girls are (almost) 5 and 6, so they are really good about cleaning up after themselves, putting their toys away, getting dirty laundry in the hamper, making their beds, etc... but the rest of the house is a war zone. I used to apologize for the clutter but I've stopped doing that because it's going to look exactly the same the next time the same people stop by. I'm looking forward to reading your responses and hope to steal some good ideas ;)
I think my dust bunnies are plotting a riot. It's not that we're not clean (we are, I'm terrified of germs)... we're just not TIDY.

Man I had this whole answer typed up and I accidentally deleted it:( The jist was, I think you are a hardworking mama with young children and that you are so NORMAL!!! My house is really clean if someone is coming over or I am having a party or something. When I am really trying to keep up I will do a room a day but usually I get so stinkin tired and want to play more with my kids that I will let things go for a while and then just do a massive clean up. Hang in there!! I am going to check out any ideas on here that you get but I really wanted to encourage you that yes one day our houses will be clean and quiet but then they won't be full of precious little ones either...;) Hugs, from one messy mama to another;)
oh P.S. when you have all those cracker crumbs etc. you can just get a broom and get them up quick if you don't have time/energy to pick everything up and vacuum, a broom and dustpan do wonders. Also I bought this huge tub at Wal-Mart and put it in the corner of the living room, that way I can throw toys in with ease and it makes a huge differnce in how the room looks;) Take care!!

if you are anything like me... the biggest problem is the clutter. You may not realize it, but you mentioned your floors about umpteen times in your post. Well... it is VERY hard to clean the floors (vacuum, sweep or mop) when there are tiny little toys and "things" all over them. I FEEL your pain!!!

When I decide to clean the floors, it takes me an HOUR to ever get to the cleaning the floor part because of all the OTHER mess I have to sort through. SO. Get a basket (laundry basket will work) and let it be your "floor cleaning basket". Just pick up EVERYTHING and dump it in the basket and set it aside. Decide/make up your mind to do NOTHING with this basket... except set it aside... until later. THEN, clean the floor... vacuum, sweep, mop, whatever it is you need to do. THEN, you can sort through the basket after if you have time. If you don't.. then at least half of the clutter is picked up. You may find that if you set the basket aside for a day or so.. you can either throw away a lot of whats in it, or take it to your child's room and dump it in their toybox. Don't spend valuable emotional energy trying to sort it all out and put it away and THEN do the floor. Get that floor done first. It will make SUCH a HUGE difference in the way you perceive the cleanliness of your home!

M. -

I am a Professional Organizer, mom of 2 and author of Mom, Can I Help Around the House, which is a family/household chore system. I work with busy families every day who experience the same thing you describe.

I highly recommend consistent systems and routines - for EVERYONE in the home. And if you set the expectation that in your home, everyone picks up after themselves and if they use something, they put it away, you'd be amazed at how much easier it is to maintain your home. I call it "closing the loop" - you take something out to use it, you use it, then you close the loop by putting it away where you got it. Elementary concept, but procrastination gets the better of us and we develop bad habits of NOT putting things away. We'll say "I'll just put it here for now", thinking (incorrectly) that we'll have the time later to clean up. But life happens and that time never materializes. Break the "I'll just put it here for now" habit and do it NOW. Honestly, you'll be amazed at how much easier it is to maintain your home when you break that habit.

It is said that being organized eliminates about 40% of time spent on housework, because you can actually DO the housework, rather than having to put everything away before you can even get to the actual cleaning/dusting, etc.

Learn more about Mom, Can I Help Around the House here: http://www.TheSimplifiedHome.net/mom-can-i-help-around-th...

J., The Organizing Genie (blog - www.TheOrganizingGenie.com)

I just skimmed the other answers, so if I'm repeating something, I apologize. I have found it's much easier to keep up with everything if it starts out neat and clean. Could you recruit some help from a family member or friend to come in and help you get it in order so that you can start fresh? Ideally it would be your husband, but I see that he is working long hours now. If you could get it all cleaned up at once, you probably wouldn't feel so overwhelmed, and it would be much easier to keep it that way. Just a thought. I hope you find something that works for you. :-)

My house is like yours! I clean and they follow. I put away and they dump out. I don't have a good cleaning system. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I worried about it a ton in the beginning, but now I just do what we can. I say clean what you can and enjoy your kids.

i clean everyday twice a day i have 15 months twins and 7 year old they make a big mess everyday ,also everything that doesnot work is going to the trash ,i try to have my kids entretain when i clean they are usually in the balconey with a bay gate or in their room with the baby gate ,also i teach them to pick up all the toys the dump in the floor before napping ,we are 5 people living in 820 sq. apartment ,if they are eating something they hve a plastic bowl with them and i vaccum about 3 times a day ,before i got to bed i try to leave everything clean .i do laundry twice a day one in the morning and one in the night.

Stick a dustbuster in your 2 year old's hand
Give your school aged child chores he is expected to do (some people give allowance or other privilages for kids doing chores-- in my house growing up and in my house now, you are a member of this family and you WILL help with chores)
I do the laundry basket thing, too. When the kids are older, go around and find everything that's theirs all over the house and tell them they have to put everything away that's the in basket and everything left behind will be thrown away
Designate only very, very specific areas where food and drinks are allowed in the house, including yourself. Sooooooooooooooo much easier to clean up crumbs, spills, and dirty dishes when they are contained (we have the kitchen/bar area, dining room, and one toddler table near the kitchen where the family is allowed to eat. We trained all 3 of our kids they can only eat in those areas. You have to constantly remind them--even my 12 year old who likes to wander around with a bag of chips-- but it is so worth it to cut down on real dirt!)
Once you have contained the food/drinks, the rest is easy and needs to be cleaned less often. Dust is not a big deal and can wait a few days, but you need to clean up sticky spots and crumbs pretty much within a day, right? So wouldn't your life be so much easier if there were less places around the house where sticky spots and crumbs exsisted? Even a 2 year old can be taught where she is allowed to have food/drinks (I did it not only with my own but have always enforced this when friends come over)
I keep a box of baby wipes on the kitchen counter-- our kitchen is centrally located-- find a central room and keep a box of baby wipes. You can use the Lysol type wipes, but I don't like having those chemicals all over (I make my own deep cleaning supplies with vinegar and baking soda), so I use a baby wipe to clean up small messes until the day I do deep cleaning.
Get some sort of organizers or baskets for all of the kids stuff that ends up everywhere. Teach both kids how to walk around with a basket and pick stuff up.
As for your husband, I feel your pain. Mine does take out the trash and cares for the lawn, but I do everything else. When I am working, things are different, but I am a SAHM (actually a part time WAHM) again, so I don't think it's fair for me to hand him a mop when he walks in the door or expect him to spend our weekends cleaning the bathroom. He does do his own laundry, though, but that's only because he doesn't like the way I do it (which is to leave the last load sitting in the dryer because I'm lazy and "forget" about it--haha)

You could have just been describing my house on any given day. I try and clean once my kids go to bed so it is clean in the morning but that is only if I have the energy. I've accepted the fact that this is just a stage in my life since I have 4 young kids. I have found it helps to break my jobs up. There are tasks that have to be done daily: dishes, sweeping the kitchen floor, and wiping down the counters. I sweep at the end of the day but I try and do the dishes (at least rinse them and get them in the dishwasher) and wipe down the counters after every meal.
I pick one day to do the laundry. Or, I divide the laundry up among days. Monday I wash whites, Tuesday darks, Wednesday towels, Thursday bedding, etc.
I vacuum every other day (unless it is really needed).
I clean the bathrooms once a week but straiten them as needed.
Just break it all down into smaller manageable tasks. If you don't get the bathroom done on it's assigned day don't worry about doing it until the day comes by again. Unless, you have extra time on an non assigned day.
I hope this makes sense. One day your kids will be older and they won't make as many messes. At least that is what I'm counting on.

I am a lot like you. I have 2 kids in school and a 3 year old here with me. I have a hard time keeping up too. I am lucky we have a "play room" upstairs and no toys are allowed down, otherwise I would surely be in your shoes. I have a couple of things that help me: Declutter your life. I used to have a really hard time with the dishes. It turned out a big part of the problem was I had too many. If you have one set, you won't be tempted to let them pile up. I use paper plates for lunch so I don't have to wash dishes after every meal (breakfast too if it is not just cereal). Try to make as many casseroles and one pot meals as possible so you don't durty too many dishes when cooking. With so little living space, you really have to chose what things are really being used and get rid of everything else. I am trying to get my kids to eat only in the kitchen, but somehow the food sneaks into the living room. I pulled all of the carpet out of my house (seriously). We stained the concrete and it is so much easier to keep clean than the carpet. I wish I had an answer for the laundry. I call mine "the blob" because it just keeps growing. I do laundry EVERY DAY and it still keeps growing. To battle the blob, I just throw everything in the washer in the morning. I have my kids trained to throw everything in the washer (no hampers) accept for towels which go into a basket right by the washing machine. I do a load of clothes everyday and towels 2 times a week and sheets on wednesday. You will note I don't separate colors. If my husband has a white shirt for work, I am carefull, otherwise, too bad. This is all out war! Anyway, don't beat yourself up over this. It is very hard to keep up with especially when you have a toddler, which is the most destructive force in nature. I will clean one part of the house and literally turn around to find my 3 year old has destroyed the other part (yesterday I cleaned bathrooms, so in that time my daughter trashed the living room and kitchen with juice that was in a "spill proof" sippy cup). Oh, I also have what I call "floor towels" in the kitchen and by the back doors for quick wipe ups. If you get to the mess before it dries, it tends to not get sticky. And as for cheese, yesterday I found crumbled up cheese under a chair when I was cleaning. It had dried up and was much easier to clean that way! So sure, there are those Stepford moms with Stepford kids and perfectly spotless homes, but HOW BORING IS THAT!!;)

You are not alone! I am glad that I am not the only one with pollen dust, cheese crumbles, toys, dirty dishes and sticky spots! And my children are a little older (ages 13,9, and 6). I personally don't understand how some people with small children manage to keep immaculate houses--although it is something that I have always aspired to (without much, if any, success--perhaps they are just aliens?) Children are just messy. Take deep breaths--remind yourself that your children are healthy and that you are blessed (in spite of the seeming hellishness of your chaotic environment). Make the bed--it is something quick and easy and will make things feel less cluttered (plus it makes a good spot for sorting and folding laundry). Know that you are not alone when your beautiful angelic child follows right behind you, knocks the clean clothes on the dirty floor, and jumps and rolls around on the bed to where it is immediately unmade again. (More deep breaths--try not to scream--unless you really feel like you have to. It was in times like these that my children learned some of those words that may not be uttered at school.) Try to knock out the dishes first--(I too, avoid the unloading of the dishwasher--but you must bite the bullet on this--I find that singing to myself makes this go faster. I can usually knock this part out in one song.) Once the dishwasher is empty, you can empty the sink and clear the counters, and refill the sink with the pots and pans or anything that must be done by hand. Congratulate yourself! Kiss your baby! Most of all--don't beat yourself up for what doesn't get done. Breathe. Laugh at yourself and at the ridiculously chaotic environment in which you live. You are not alone. You are not the only one to ask the question "is it poop or chocolate?" Find the joy in it all--surprisingly enough, it is there somewhere--and probably can be located more easily than your car keys or your childs other shoe. God bless you and good luck!

Its time to include everyone in the chores. Make it fun. Make charts of how things should look and post them in cabinets in each room so people in the house have no questions. Get your toddler to help also. She can do little things like throw trash in the trash can. You son sounds old enough now to start him on chores and he shouldn't be allowed to play until those are done. You have to teach them responsibility because no one else will. The sooner the better. Obviously your toddler can't vacuum, but you will be surprised how much she can do if you teach her. Even my 17 month old like to wipe the glass when I spray it with Windex. Like I said, make it fun and then its not so much a chore.

LOL! OMG this is me :) However, I work with kids in a class room so I have to try and keep that clean...not easy lol! I gripped and complained and left the house the way it was for a week and did nothing sept my stuff and the girls...hehe... guess who helps clean :D Try to do little things here and there... Pick up the toys after your son goes to bed, have everyone help with dishes after supper... Good luck and I hope you find a way that works for you :)

my only suggestion is to do a chore chart. That's what helps me. Mondays I clean the bathrooms, Tuesdays the kitchen gets a thourough cleaning, Wed is living room, Thursday bedrooms, Friday laundry. In the meantime, things get spot cleaned and my husband does all the vacuuming.

That being said, he's been working crazy hours the last 2 weeks, and it's crazy how cluttered the house has gotten since I let it slip a little! I was going to try a deep cleaning tomorrow, but now I have a sick toddler, so I'm sure nothing will get done. :-(

Good luck!

Oh M. I feel your pain...
The one thing I do that works really well for me in keeping my home tidy is the 5, 10, or 15 minute routine. I set the timer for 10 minutes and do 1 room of the house. Another 10 for each other room that needs tidying and so on. In less than an hour I can get my house pretty organized including a load of laundry and be done for the day. I only have to do that about every other day to keep on top of it and that's really not too bad. Once a week I try to get a good cleaning in, but if I don't you can't really tell because of the 10 minute sweep!
God bless and don't stress too much, as the kids get older they will be able to help. BTW maybe you shouldn't let your daughter out of the kitchen with food if she is going to continue that negative behavior. One more thing, I wouldn't give her iced tea if she is into "dumping" right now. Only give her water if she is going to spill it, at least water helps with the clean up! She'll learn quickly not to dump if you are withholding what she wants.

Ask your husband to take your children out for the day or a friend to watch your children for the day. You stay home and CLEAN! When they come home tell them exactly what you did the whole day while they were having fun and that you expect ALL of them to help keep it this way. They should all be proud to see a clean, organized home. Then, keep up with it little by little. Only allow your 2 year old to bring out 2 - 3 toys and make him put them away before getting something else out. Easier said than done but give it a try. I work full time and on the weekends at a part time job - I know it becomes overwhelming. Good luck!

It is so weird reading this because just yesterday afternoon I sent my husband a text message regarding the state of cleanliness of our home. What I've decided to do and you can take it as a suggestion, is I'm putting my foot down and monitoring the house and who does what and making sure everyone cleans up after themselves as if I am a police officer; the penalty is if the house doesn't stay clean no one will eat (I'm the cook). With men sometimes you have to hit them where it hurts, their stomachs. I am going to do a top to bottom clean sweep of my home this weekend and after that I will be on guard 24/7 making sure it stays that way. I've tried giving my husband freedom and hoping he would pick up after himself and as for my 2 year old he is about to learn a life lesson of replacing toys after playing as he does at school. It's sad and I hate to have to do it this way but my sanity is more important than letting things continue as they are. We spent a lot of money on purchasing nice things to place in our home and I refuse to live in a pig sty because I live with two children (my husband counts as the 2nd). So just make a stand and stick to it, they'll either shape up and help out or get tired of your mouth and keep things right, either way you win and the house will stay clean.

I love flylady, even if you can just keep your sink shiny.

One thing i would suggest is getting rid of a lot of your things, It's easier to do laundry if you have room to hang things because you got rid of the clothes taking up half your closet that you never wear. And the kids won't make nearly the mess if they have nearly the toys. you could rotate them out.
good luck

i feel your pain. everytime i clean i feel like my daughter goes behind me and tears it out again. your 2 yr old is old enough to start picking up her toys. if she's closer to 2 not everything but if shes closer to 3 then she is more than able to pick up what she gets out. i started a 1 toy (set) out at a time. if you want something else, put up what you got out. you will have to help her sometimes and thats okay. make it fun and sing the clean up song. if she flat out refuses, then either take away her toys or discipline her. after a few times she will quickly start helping you.

while you are cleaning the house let her "clean" with you. give her dry rags to "dust" with. get her a toy vacuum to help you vacuum. as far as the dishes do them right away. that's the only way to not feel overwhelmed. its a habit you just have to get into. same way with the floor. try to get at least the kitchen swept 1x a day then go to after every meal. invest in a small vac like a shark or some other handheld battery vac. it makes life much easier. try to do 1 load of laundry every day and put it away straight out of the drier instead of in a basket. then increase to 2 to 3 loads everyday. then you won't have full baskets anymore. and yes you will feel like you do laundry non stop. but better than the overwhelmed feeling.

good luck!

minimize minimize minimize. get rid of anything and everything you don't have to have. the less you have the less there is to pick up and the more space toput things away in.

This is just my top concerns for you which you may address if anything rings true:

Perhaps you are depressed or have A.D.D which is more challenging to get organized, motivated, or focused? If so, get medical help.

Perhaps you need to make some behavioral change attempts to see what works: Lay out your clothes the night before, write down 3 things that you plan to conquer the next day. Each day, also wipe up/clean up anything new that happens WHEN it happens. Or have the child do it if they are anywhere near capable of doing so. Make it seem enjoyable or at least respectable and responsible with a high five.

Consider possibly that your toddler or two year old aren't being taught along the way not to do this or that, not acceptable. Must do this instead. Then priase and reward. Consistently!!

Delegate some things to your husband. He does not get a pass. He doesn't have to do half, but make a list of things hardest for you and that he might want to take pride in keeping up. Of course, the traditional things for working men are: bagging up and taking out the trash, handling all yard work, handling all car maintenance or getting it done/handled; doing household repairs (even if he has to get mentoring on it from someone) or paying to get it done and making those arrangements; doing pest control and lawn/weed control measures; changing out the hvac filters, emptying/filling the dishwasher if you cooked. (course, the cook cleans up as she goes with her cooking so we're talking the dinner and serve ware). There is no excuse for him not to help other than you've let him get away with it. Doesn't matter if his parents didn't have him do it or his dad didn't have to do it. It is for your sanity, your relationship, your respect, the child's role modeling, and apparently from what you have said, to cut down on filth and germs.

Make a different plan, do things differently, take control. You are not a servant. Your small house isnt' a great excuse. People with big houses don't get a free pass either. Change youir strategy. Knowing you need a new strategy is the first great step. Congrats!

Try to go to www.flylady.net. This system really does work. I have 5 kids and work 40 hours a week and I am always overwelmed but her system does work. Try it out.

Keep going with "baby steps" with flylady. If you haven't read her book yet, do. You won't get there in one day but following her baby steps you will be surprised at at how far you get in one month. Good luck!

You are not alone and it isn't just because you have kids etc. My children are grown and out of the house and it is just my husband and I and I wonder all the time how this house can get so messy and where in the heck does the laundry come from. So as you can see it continues even when you are just two. I finally had to realize I was the only one who was doing all of the cleaning so I force myself to empty the dishwasher and put the dirty ones in until it gets full. I try to do at least one load of wash each day or night to atleast keep it as current as possible. You have to force yourself to do this and then it becomes habit. If I didn't do this no telling how this place would look. I am so busy with so many things and just started a new business so I am constantly running but it can be done. Sure you will have days you don't get it done but you will get back on track. Now the only thing I need to get back to doing and force myself to do is cook dinner. We go out a lot to eat just so I can have some time and can enjoy some of my evening. You might also try giving your children certain jobs to do like putting up their toys or cleaning their room if they are old enough. Start them early and they will pick up good habits. My daughter does this and this is how her children earn spending money. Good Luck

No you are not alone. I myself threw a fit about this last night. I work 32 hours my husband works nights so it's really hard for him to help with the house. I don't mind doing it all, it would just be nice if other people would at least pick up after themselves.

I, like you, always seem to have dishes. Even if I just emptied the dishwasher it seems I turn around and the sink is full again. I do laundry practically every day.

Right now my living room has stuff all over, and peanut shells got dumped on the floor and my son stepped all over them. Most of this was picked up by him yesterday but i still need to vaccum! UGH!

I just keep telling myself that someday my house will be neat! I know I can achieve this because my mother in law's house was always a wreck when we were kids and so was mine. Now both my mom and my mother in law keep very neat houses so there is hope for me!

I try to assign myself one major chore a day (floors, dusting, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning etc.) Most of the time this works, sometimes it doesn't. We just do the best we can!]

Hang in there!

Your husband needs to help. He works 12-hour days but you work 24 hours. It seems he considers you the maid. Let him do the mowing and trash. He needs to show the kids that home is a place where the entire family works to keep it working. Your kids are growing up thinking you're the maid. They're not too young to start chores. They can pick up toys and put them away. Even at 2 they can clean up after themselves. How did she get to the tea and dump it on the floor? You might need to keep some things out of her reach. Give her a sippy cup so she doesn't spill. Have him watch the kids a few hours on weekends so you can get away to a movie or just to do nothing. You need to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you're going to burn out and then you're no good to anybody.

another idea is www.chorebuster.net You can enter your own chore list or use one of the templates & each week it prints up a chorelist with daily chores. You can even divide the chores between you & your husband. You probably won't get him to do 50% of the chores (wishful thinking!), but maybe you could start with a 80/20 split. You can even put some chores on the list that the kids could handle. For me, it is satisfying to cross something off a list (I even have make the bed on the list). My house is far from perfect, but it would be much worse without this list. :)

Sounds like you need more storage, especially in a small house. I'd go to Big Lots, or someplace like that, and get some cheap, stackable bins and dive in. Your toddler can help sort and organize, and then she'll know what goes where, and can start to help mommy more. You can put pictures on the bins to identify them, or colors. Make it a learning experience for her---dollies in the yellow bin! animals in the blue bin! blocks in the green bin! Whatever! Everyone has to do their part, whatever that is. (Including hubby---his workday isn't over when he comes home unless yours is, too). Make everyone responsible for their own stuff, and stick to it. good luck.

Totally get it...this is what I did....I live in a small apt. with my two small boys...however, last year when I was still in my house and lived with my ex husband I still had this problem and this worked then too.....I found two laundry baskets that matched the living room area...at my old house they were the wicker kinds...but at the apt they are lite blue....I told the boys that when they are done they are to be placed back in the hamper...now sometimes this works and sometimes it doesnt..kids are kid, but at least you have a place to stick things in a jam until you have time to actually put stuff away, also if people accidently drop over you can quickly throw stuff into a small place to almost hide the fact that your livingroom was jusct taken over by the small people....the carpet...well I have two things for that too...you might laugh however this has saved me a couple of times....small stuff like your chips----lint roller----you can find an over sized one at walmart for a couple of bucks...also for the bigger stuff a hand vac.....did I mention we have a 50lb. dog too...lol good luck when all else fails pour yourself a cup of coffee, and have a bon bon...people come over to see you, and obviously they know you have a family!!!!

I agree with everyone who said to get a kitchen routine first! I usually eat faster than my kids, so while they finish up their milk or pick at the last of their salad, I try to empty or reload the dishwasher. Then on to the dishes I used to cook. There is nothing worse than going in the kitchen to cook and the pot you need is in the sink. They are getting better at bringing their own plates in a stacking them on the counter...one less step for me:) I find that if my kitchen is neat it makes me feel so much better. My 3 year old loves to use squirt bottles, so he helps me with the kitchen floor, he squirts and I wipe. And since he's the worst offender with spilling, he has to clean up his messes immediately. After dinner, if there is food on the floor, he gets his little broom and sweeps it up. Does he do a great job? No...but it's a start, and better than nothing:) We do a sock round-up every few days. The kids love it for some reason, they run around as fast as they can and pick up socks and random pieces of clothes and put them in a pile by the stairs. When we go up for bedtime, into the hamper they go. Also, try to keep a box or bin in each room for stuff that doesn't belong. That way you can just toss it in the box. If you get a few minutes, go through the box and put the stuff where it belongs. If nothing else, it's a little more contained.
And one last trick: try to have someone come over- then you HAVE to clean, even it's a just a surface clean, the house looks better and it's less overwhelming to keep it that way. Good luck, it's not an easy task!

It IS a constant battle and I feel like I constantly pick up and put away in addition to the other daily stuff--dishwasher, laundry, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, etc.
Much better to keep up with it rather than wait til it's really bad. That's too intimidating to me.
Check out:
www.flylady.net
for great ideas on how to incorporate stuff into your daily routine.
Good luck!

I can only commiserate with you and tell you that you are not alone. My mom had a saying "Dirty house and happy kids is better than a spotless house and bored kids". Another words, if you spend all your time cleaning and always keeping it that way, you might not have the mess but your kids aren't going to have much fun either. My kids do bring in a lot of dirt. I used to have to check their pockets for rocks and things they'd pick up. They grew out of that mostly. We spend a few hours cleaning every weekend and we do enlist our childrens' help. Yes we do have school age kids so that is helpful, but they weren't always. If she can spill the drink she can certainly be taught to carry the towel perhaps to the hamper to clean it up. Usually when work becomes involved in something they find "fun" and we "don't find fun" is when the resulting reaction is that they have to be involved in cleaning it up too. Of course at first it will be a test to see if you will keep making her do it but make her do it. It went a long way to curing our kids' "we like to spill stuff" phases. Rules are easy to enforce if you are doing the task anyway. You will be doing most of the work but take her to where the towel would be pick it up..if she can carry it have her do it..if not you do it. Help her spread it out..if its sticky, deal with that after the liquid is sopped up, but deal with it. You don't want to invite ants. Its sort of my judge of dirty..I try not to invite ants...LOL. (So my expectations are NOT really all that high :) You can make a game of "keeping the ants away"...Its silly but might keep you from popping a vein on some days when she does it :) Good luck, and remember its sort of all in the eye of the beholder really. One visitor might see grubby house, grubby kids but smiles on the faces and say "well look at those smiling kids..they sure are happy" while another might say "Well, don't you just need a bath now?" . Let your kids be kids but slowly guide them in the direction of cleaning up after themselves. That's part of why we let it go..we do hope beyond hope that someone will take initiative and do it for us...but it usually doesn't happen unless we rant and rave and yell and scream. My two recently messed up pretty bad with some library books..and one of our three dogs got a hold of one that should not have been anywhere near where a dog could get it. They have work to do to earn the money to pay the fines...yep two books...its going to take them awhile..they are seven and 10. So far yard clean up has been a favorite but weather hasn't been good for that. School is getting out though so more hours for choosing chores :) For littler ones, simply making sure you at least let them see you cleaning up the mess and all that ..set some example of what is expected of them. Show annoyance at it taking up time and energy you don't really have right now and fuss over the fact that they should be doing it not you. It helps if nothing else to vent a little..and saves your sanity. Nothing wrong with letting your children know that their behavior is what is annoying you while at the same time showing them what has to be done to put it to rights. Good luck..and hey...twice a week..not bad..really..I get to the vacuum about once a week lately and that's only because wading through dog hair makes me sneeze LOL.

Good grief! You are superwoman and are already doing a fantastic job!! You most certainly do work and a whole heck of a lot. Your husband needs to help. Forget having a pristine home; he needs to pitch in just so you don't have a nervous breakdown. You are not a workhorse. (Frankly, even a workhorse gets a break.) He probably can't help during the week, but most certainly can during the weekend. The way my husband and I approach it is to try to get each other downtime. You can never get everything done, just try to give each other breaks. I agree with the other poster, he doesn't get to rest unless you get to rest. If he needs convincing, write out everything you do and everything he does. You are amazing. Now he needs to step up.

i try cleaning one area one day a week. that way it dosent take me eight hours to clean the house only to have it the same wreck the next day. like monday all the bed rooms. tuesday bathrooms and laundary. i try to straighten the kitchen every day but it dosent happen. swiffer mops really help. the toddler can help ( half heartly ) pick up too. as for the little bits of toys every where. i tend to keep it to a few of those and i put the rest up in the closet and switch them out every so often. oh the little toys! >:( they are the worst. my two yr old really likes cleaning. i give him a rag (with nothing on it or vinegar if anything) and he cleans up with me. its not great but its better than nothing.

btw my hubby dosent help much either. if i tell him " it would really help if you put our son to bed" he will. but he does do all the cooking...i am a terrible cook :D