Is Anyone Else Feeling the Same Way?

You are not alone. Please pick up the book Post-Partum Depression for Dummies by Dr. Shoshana Bennett. It will really help. There is a nutritional system she refers to in her book that I use and now represent as it made a huge difference for me. There is help available. You deserve to feel better and enjoy this time. You can call me too if you like. ###-###-####.

Hello C. ,

I can totally relate to you at one point in my life I've felt very OVERWHELMED especially after the death of my parents in 2004 ( My mother pass away first and 4 days later my father)You are not alone ,and yes I felt like running away from this world , but my sons need me , there so much to talk about if you would like you can e-mail me @ ____@____.com . C. it will get better surround yourself by positive people .Looking forward in hearing from you soon. I live in the Miami Lakes area not very far from you .

~ A.

I have an 8 yr old. Even now, there are times when it is very overwhelming, and I would love to escape and hide under a rock. What helps me is to look at the living, breathing miracle that I brought into the world. What other superhero besides a mother can do this? We are so important in this world, and to our children. Taking an hour for yourself does a world of good. You can just do your hair nice, put on a dress or make-up, and feel like a new person for the day. Maybe we will run into each other one day. I live in Sunrise.

As I read your story, first I thought... Poor thing, and then I smiled. Why you may ask, instead of giving you advice, I'm going to share my story with you... I wanted to have a completely natural birth, I even took Hypno Birthing Classes...

My husband is in the Military, he was abroad and I was here, with my sister and mother.

Thankfully my husband arrived at 2:00am the day my daughter was born.

So much for natural, I could have lit up a city or something, I was connected in every direction, I was given oxygen, and then told I needed an emergency C-Section. Valentina was born at 13:58. I had a healthy and beautiful baby girl.

Once I made it home I didn't leave my bedroom in 3 days. 3 DAYS!!! I didn't eat anything because I was breastfeeding and I was afraid the food I would eat would effect the baby. I started to look like a skeleton. I didn't sleep... I didn't shower... and it turned out that V had colic!

I thought I was doing something wrong, I was scared, irritable, and to put it very lightly I didn't care much for my husband.

He wouldn't hand me the gas drops because he was reading the directions... what did I do... I attacked! Literally... I had the baby in one arm (screaming) and with my free hand I punched, slapped and scratched him... you should have seen the look on his face... Who is this psycho woman, he must have thought...

3 wks later my husband left to go abroad again. And I have a brand new apartment full of boxes and no furniture!

I didn't let anyone touch her, or visit for that matter for at least 3 months! I became depressed, my world was my baby. I would see other moms with younger babies, the same age and older, walking around looking energetic, groomed, places to go people to see...

I would cry my butt off! I didn't understand how they would do it, I doubted myself completely.

I tried to drive around with my baby but she hated the car seat, so what did I do? I didn't go anywhere!!!! I did now drive anywhere... for at least 6 months. You want to talk depression...

Finally one day (about 7 months) I woke up and decided I would go out, no matter what... if she cried, it was ok, I would tend to her, relax and keep going. And I did!!!! My daughter will be a year old this month, and I am finally feeling like I can do this...

Just know, no matter what, you are doing a wonderful job. The best you can. And one day you are going to look back, like I did, and smile, or even laugh, really really hard.

K

Hi C.,

I know how you feel... Being a first time mom is NOT easy, it is a learning experience. Children unfortunately don't come with manuals so you learn as you go! The feeling if being overwhelmed and alone is not our hormones. I think you are probably setting the "bar" to high for yourself being a new mom and all! I went threw a similar experience with my son (2nd child). I felt like I wanted to run away and that I wanted my old life back. I would cry all day, everyday. I kept thinking of running away and leaving my two kids, but never really wanted too! I remember talking to another mom who raised 2 kids 1 1/2 apart like myself (only her kids are older) and I remember she said to me "keep thinking that these babies will get older and won't be so dependent and how you raise them now will determine their furture". At the time I was like you have no idea how I feel but sure enough I found a daily routine. I would take them for walks so I could get out of thehouse. I would take them to the mall! I think maybe you should try a "Mommy and me" class, so you can be around other mothers and their babies. It helps because you will realise that your not alone and there are a lot of mothers feeling the way you feel! trust me think about how wonderful your son is and what a blessing he is! truthfully our children are who get us out of feeling down and alone. You are not a bad mother and being overwhelmed does come with motherhood. I think you just need another mother to talk about how you feel! Please hang in there and try to find a routine that doesn't make you feel alone or too overwhelmed. Send me a personal message if you feel like just talking! I know things will get better:-)

~ J.

I have definitely felt the same way. It is all very overwhelming (understatement of the year). I guess I had more of a romantic vision of what having a child would be like. My husband and I both work full time and our daughter goes to my friend's house during the day. It is tough but we get through it somehow. My daughter is 20 months now and as she becomes more independant it gets better. It was hard for me, and still is to find that balance. Having someone to talk to about it really helped me - a friend who had children older than me. I have to remember that with kids everything is a stage and it will end at some point. You may want to see a therapist - it is good to have someone to vent to - get it off your chest. My husband used to come home from work at night to me crying all of the time. I was so worried that I wasn't a good mom and that I wasn't doing everything right. The fact is I probably didn't do every little thing right - I am not perfect - but I am doing the best I can for my little girl. I can't dwell on mistakes - just look forward to what I can do in the future. Babies need love from their moms and it sounds like you love your little guy quite a bit! I still feel overwhelmed some times but I have to focus on getting through it not what I did to get there. I also know that the lack of sleep played a big part - as she started to sleep more it helped my mental state. Just know that you are not alone! Your little guy is counting on you! Your life will never be what it was before the baby but some how it will balance out more. When he gets older and starts giving you hugs and kisses - it is the best thing in the world. Don't give up! Check into seeing a therapist or finding a new mom support group. Good luck!

Hi C.
I am a first time mom. Infact my baby was born a few days before you wrote this. He is 7 months old now and when I just read your post and thought.."Did I write this"?
I have a husband but he is much older and learning how to do this father thing right for the 4th time...I work and take care of mostly everything (including the all nighters).
Anyway - I read how much support and positive feedback you got. I was wondering if you have gotten any better and if any of the suggestions worked for you. I live in Daive, I'm a teacher in Plantation and I am a first time mom. My son has been sick and I am just now putting him in day care (which I am freaking out about)for the next nine weeks until I finish the school year.
Hope things have gotten better for you. I have been feeling like I need help, like I am crazy, and wondered if I needed to seek help. I adore this little guy. I wonder often how I ever lived without him and think now - no accomplishment in my life has ever been as great.

Hi C.,
Wow reading what u wrote really touched me cause I have been feeling the same way this past weekend. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am 40 y/o & became a widow over 2 1/2 years ago. I have 4 boys including my stepson ages 8-22. Its really hard cause I am the mother/father & woman/man of the house. Its hard cause like this weekend my 8 y/o had a baseball game & u c both parents in the park rooting for their child & am I the only parent at the park. Wow that really brought me down. I have had my ups & downs since my husband passed away but I have kept myself strong, but 4 some reason it really hit me this weekend. Sometimes I feel like my kids just have me there to pay the mortgage and the bills. I sometimes really think what the hell am I doing here but than I also tell myself that my kids need me. I go to counseling every month cause I really do need it. I would suggest u do the same. Seek counseling be it a Psychologist or a psychiatrist. Don't think that these dr's r 4 crazy ppl cause its not. Maybe u r going thru postpartum depression & from what I have read this could really get serious. Please seek help! I know that we as mother, wife & daughters try 2 b the savior of the family & sometimes we do get overwhelmed. If u can't finish something 2day always remember that there is a 2morrow. Try 2 relax as much as possible. Try 2 have time 4 urself, even if its 2 relax in warm bath. Please keep me updated in how ur doing. I wish u the best of luck & remember ur not alone. And don't think ur son hates u, he really needs u dearly. God bless u & ur family <3
Roxy

Hi. Actually this is very normal and my son is doing the same thing right now. He is 10 months old, and just this morning, he would not come to me at all, everytime my husband handed him to me, he started crying. It's depressing for me, but I know that it is just a phase. One day, he wants nothing but mom and other days he wants nothing but his dad. It is something that will pass.

E. - Miramar, FL

I happen to really believe in counseling. I don't think it can hurt. I would seek help, why not? I would ask a freidn or co-worker to recomend someone or ask your obgyn to recomend someone- I don't thik medication is the answer per se as i truly believe in talking to someone as well...
also, there's a great babywearing group in Hollywood that I would get to if I could! (I live in Miami & the time isn't good for me at all)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HollywoodBabyWearing/