Is "A Simple Christmas" Just a Myth?

I just had to share my family Christmas...We have 3 (sometimes 4) Christmas celebrations. My favorite is with my mom's side of the family. We get together the weekend before or after Christmas (whenever everyone can make it) at my mother's house. Everyone brings a snack or appetizer and something for dinner. Nobody really has a lot of food to make, I usually make Stuffed Pepper soup and Sausage Wrapped Jalapenos. My mom bakes a ham and we have soup and ham sandwiches. The adults don't exchange gifts, just the children (there are only 2 at the moment). Instead we find a family through someone's church or through someone we know that can't afford Christmas gifts for their Children and we are all assigned a child to buy for. We don't have a spending limit but we have a gift limit. We spend the day showing each other what we bought and wrapping the gifts. Its a very relaxing day and I love it!

I am the oldest of eight and we have decided to stop exchanging gifts between the 8 of us and our spouses.

We also decided to stop between the cousins, but instead we are going to each do a family service project of some sort and then share that exprience with the cousins, instead of adding to the things they get. Our family has decided to make shoeboxes with gifts http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/ and send them to needy children. We liked this because our son can truly participate and not just stand by and watch. You can pick an age and name and get specific gifts. My two-year-old is going shopping for a two-year-old boy and helping put the gift together.

At Thanksgiving we usually go to serve dinners to those less fortunate, but the soup kitchen we were heading to is full of volunteers. I am so glad for them, but we are looking for an alternative.

For us, spending more time on giving of our time and resources means so much more than the getting and helps us teach our kids what we want them to learn. They still get gifts and santa gifts, but we try to keep it in moderation. We don't have family around and won't be able to travel this year, so we have a lot of time just spent hanging out, playing board games and doing things like family movie nights.

My favorite personal family tradition for Christmas is getting new christmas pjs for christmas eve. It's corny, but fun and look forward to getting the kids some each year (plus then they have another sleeper that fits them well).

Good luck!

As someone else has said. The holidays are getting to be way to much. So we have started also that the kids pick O. thing that they would really want. We tell them "If you could only have O. gift, what would that O. gift be?"

The kids still belive in santa and we tell them that there friends parents are the ones that go and get them the big fancy things like game systems and stuff like that.

Then with my husbands side of the family they have a name pull that is just for the kids. They down fall is that the tag is $25.00 per name. And we don't even get to see the kids open the gift or let alone see the kids usaly until the Christmas party.

And then for parents and grandparents we try to get together with our siblings and try to make a joint gift. For the grandparents sometimes it is a pic of the grandkids and sometimes it is something that was made for them.

Basicly take out the massive shopping and how much you think or feel that you need to spend. OR how many gifts are under the tree and just sit back and relax and remember what it was like when you where growing up and how nice it was to just be around family.

Denise,

A big reminder to you and everyone else is that you don't need to have the "perfect" TV or magazine Christmas. It Is fine to buy desserts, use packaged rolls. Just put up a small tree with simple favorite ornaments, you don't need to cover the tree with every ornament in the box (like my mom used to do). My son loved opening the window on the Advent calendar everyday.

As far as shopping goes, use online catalogs and save the headache of finding a parking place and carrying all those bags with a 5 YO in tow. Consider making donations to charities in you recipients names. WorldVision just sent out a catalog where you could "buy" chickens, ducks, goats etc for families in third world countries. If you want to keep your money in the US the offer to fill backpacks for kids in poor areas. My church is collecting shoeboxes full of stuff for Operation Christmas Child, I bet your son would have fun filling a box for a boy his age who has very little. Other organizations make up tags with the age size etc of a child in need where you take the tag and go shop for the child. I'm sure you can find something that you like.

Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen sometime in December (or year round), maybe even Christmas day, it is amazing how that simple act will change your perspective and it would be a good way for your son to begin to appreciate all he has.

Merry Christmas (Happy Birthday Jesus!!!!)

NO! It can be done! I always loved the advent calendar with the chocolates to open every day with your child and take a moment each day to discuss what christmas is.

Tip #1: Fake pre-lit tree

I have had a real tree every year of my life, but for the sake of simplicity I gave in a bought a fake tree with lights last year. best thing i ever did!!!!! yes i miss the smell....but you asked for simple!!!!

Tip #2: Pollyanna

Pollyanna - we set a limit and buy a gift only for the person we pick from the pollyanna name basket (for about 12 adult family members). We also have each person give suggestions on the piece of paper with their name to make shopping easier for the buyer.

Tip #3: Address Labels

Takes time initially but once it is set up on your computer, all you have to do is print out your address labels that contain names and addresses of everyone you send christmas cards.

Tip #4: Limit gifts esp for young children

Our children are two - we don't buy many gifts at all bc they don't really understand anyway.

Tip #5: Buy only a few big gifts for the older kids

Buy a few big things (they dont have to be expensive) b/c to young kids bigger is more exciting.

Tip #6: SHOP ONLINE!!!

There are sooooooooo many free shipping offers and coupon codes to be found online!

Tip #7: Stock up on stocking stuffers

You can buy your stocking stuffers now - everytime you are in target, the foodstore, walmart, the mall, etc.... pick up your childs favorite gum, candy, stickers, hot wheels(even the foodstore has a toy isles).

Denise, you didn't really say how you wanted to simplify ~ shopping, Christmas meal, gift-giving, etc. However, since we are on a pretty tight budget this year, & we only exchange gifts with my family (parents, mom's parents, & my two sisters (unmarried/no kids), but we had been at least Giving (though not getting) with my hubby's family (3 siblings~all married, 4 kids & 1 grandkid)~ this year I decided to buy small wooden frames (bought @ ACMoore for $1 each) that the kids & I could paint. Once they're painted, I'll "write" Merry Christmas on the frame & put a family photo in the frame. Each family gets a framed family photo. B/c of our limited budget, that's really all I'm doing this year, except for my 2 kids (5 1/2 & 19 months). Also, cookie or brownie in a jar is a good "family" gift that can be made ahead (on a weekend with the kids) & is relatively inexpensive. You can find TONS of recipes online.
Good luck wiht your simplified Thanksgiving & Christmas. I'll be praying for your family! :)

For Christmas last year my daughter found an awesome website that allows the giver to make a donation to a charity that is significant to the receiver. She made a 25 dollar donation to a food bank, that fed a family of 4. She made a donation for her MIL that helped abused women. I was so touched by her donation as I am a difficult person to shop for - I never want anything. I got a card in the mail from the website telling me that a donation was made in my name. If this interests you, email me and I will ask her what the name of the website is.

O. thing I did last year that I really liked was to do a "holiday" letter after christmas, instead of cards. I bought snowflake paper on clearance after the holidays, and sent out the letter sometime in January with a picture of my boys. I had more time then, and that was O. last thing to worry about. Cheaper and less stress.

Here's my favorite Christmas tradition with my 3 and 5 year old boys. A few years ago I bought a Nativity set - it was Fisher Price, but any kind would work. I wrap up all of the pieces and use it as an advent activity. Each night after dinner we unwrap a piece and take turns telling the story of Christmas. Then Jesus is found on Christmas morning in someone's stocking.It gets really exciting for the kids. So, this has been fun and simple for us...good luck in finding your way for your family.

Funny you should ask that, I've been thinking about it as well, and just saw this book mentioned on a blog i read.

Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas (Hardcover)
by Bill McKibben (Author) "This book, and the church-based campaign it grows out of, is not an exercise in nostalgia, a search for some perfect and uncorrupted Christmas in..." (more

I haven't read it, but i think the presmise is to try to keep your christmas expenses under $100, and being thoughful and meaningful giving gifts of time etc.
Just thought i would mention it in case you were interested.

As for your actual question, ugg I don't know. Flylady is my go-to answer and she does offer free reminders about the holidays, such as checking to see what wrapping you need, making lists of baking supplies and so on and so on. She probably has directions on her website for a Holiday controll journal where you would keep your lists, like your wish list, a list of gifts you've boughten, a buget, christmas card addresses etc etc etc. www.flylady.net
She also has a list of non-clutter gifts, that is really neat to read through. I have to admit, we don't host christmas, and hubby is super organized with bugeting and actually involved in the buying of gifts that i don't use the control journal.

Christmas is hard for me, not a strong, close or well off family on my side and very loving, over the top gift buying family on hubbys side. it's a hard balance. Maybe the key is just to really think about what is the most important two or three things to you and focus on them and not worry so much about the rest. For us, it's not cookie making, it's dinner with my grandma christmas eve, the candle light service at church, and cinnimon rolls christmas morning!!

Good luck, I"ll be interested to see what other responses you get.

It's so important for us moms to create an atmosphere of warmth and love in our homes ESPECIALLY at Christmas time. I know I want my kids to long to come back to our home for holidays when they are all grown!! Yes, a simple Christmas is just a myth...but I think it can be very special without all the stress and superficialities!! To be honest, I don't really want my Christmas to be too simple. I love to celebrate in a big way with all kinds of special and meaningful times.

I think the key is to spend MORE TIME AT HOME making wonderful traditions with our families, and to cut out many of the less meaningful extras that pull us in a million different directions. During this season in my life (being the mom of 3 young children) I have decided not to attend all the Christmas gatherings and events that I'm invited to. I also really try to limit my time in the stores which in the past have sucked up hours and hours of my time making me tired and grumpy. Last year I ordered most of my gifts online after the kids were in bed, and went to the store with specific things to get. I want my family to get all of my attention this time of year especially. I am very intentional about making sure our schedule includes many nights at home doing creative activities that keep Christ at the center of Christmas.

For example...

-After dinner once a week, we light our advent wreath and read about Christmas from the Bible

-We make a few cookies together and have fun taking turns with the ingredients. (I've gone overboard with trying to do too much baking and it totally stresses me out and it's not fun!)

-We make/bake simple gifts together for our mailman and neighbors, and the kids have fun delivering them with me.

-We have a Christmas tree decorating party with just our family. The kids help me make all finger foods so we can eat as we decorate. We give each child an ornament that represents their year and have a Christmas music dance party to end the night.

-I get the kids a new Christmas story book each year, and we read through all of them during the month of Dec.

-We take O. night to go driving all over town as a family to look at all the lights. We really stress how all of the celebrating and all of the glittering lights are for Jesus' birthday. The kids love to talk in the car. :) It's a great time to talk about the true meaning of Christmas.

-We go shopping to fill a shoe box with for children around the world and give our gifts through the Operation Christmas Child (Samaritan's Purse...a great organization by Billy Graham's son)

-We string popcorn and cranberries for the birds and our tree.

When we're not running around doing the things that have no long-lasting meaning, and we focus on Christ and the ones we love, our lives do feel simpler because they're filled with so much joy!

Two great resources to check out online relating to this topic...
listen to the radio broadcast on the topic of kindness in the midst of business...www.reviveourhearts.com from Nov. 13th & 14th broadcast

check out youtube video "advent conspiracy promo video"

Hi Denise.
I, too am a mom of a O. and done child:) Nice to meet someone who does not "insist" that I cannot just have O. child. Drives me crazy when people say this. There is enough pressure in life without having to deal with those comments.

Anyway, to answer your question about a simple Christmas, we do a polyana on both sides of the famiy. $50 limit. We also buy a $5.00 gift (could be a joke gift or not) and wrap it and play the Chinese Christmas game of opening a gift or stealing O. already open that you like. It is fun and you don't spend alot of money.

Good luck!

I don't think a simple Christmas is a myth, but I think in this day it is something that requires some focus and determination to achieve.

That being said, if you mean "simplify" as in organize...

*You could make a weekly to do list. Set up times for shopping, baking, etc. Make the lists on your computer and save them so you can use them (and easily revise them) each year.

*I try to make at least O. batch of cookie dough to freeze each week beginning the first week of November. Then right before Christmas I can spend time over a day or two baking.

*I have address labels saved on my computer for those people I send Christmas cards to. After a quick update all I have to do is print them out. I also include a newsletter in our cards. Some people might consider it to be not personal enough, but it is a huge timesaver. If I feel I need to write something more personal I jot a quick note in the card.

*I start shopping for Christmas presents for the kids as early as September at websites like toysrus, kbtoys, amazon, barnesandnoble. I find some great deals throughout the fall.

*I save gift bags from gifts I've received to use at Christmas. I find it much quicker to fill a bag than wrestle with wrapping paper, tape, etc.

*Ultimately, I would love to set up a binder to refer to with my lists, recipes, timelines, etc.

If you mean "simplify" as in finding the "true reason for the season"...

*I make gifts with my kids to show them that we don't have to spend a lot of money. A good gift doesn't have to have an expensive price tag.

*We fill bags with craft items for pediatric cancer patients at a local outpatient clinic. Sometimes the kids have lengthy appointments as they receive blood transfusions or recuperate after a procedure. This helps to fill the time and give them something other to think about than the health issues they are facing.

*We incorporate our spiritualty into our celebrations, our decorations, the holiday movies we watch, the cards we send, etc.

*We set up a modest budget for Christmas presents.

*We talk about how much we enjoy being with family, spending Christmas morning in our pj's, etc - things that aren't lavish but enjoyable and appreciated.

*Something I do without anyone's knowledge is to send a family I know little inexpensive gifts every year. They have been going through some rough times and I thought it would be fun to play Secret Santa. They haven't figured it out yet, and I haven't even been mentioned as a possible suspect, so I must be doing a good job. ;)

Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

Here's a couple ideas I did growing up, that my husband and I have begun doing for our family.

-advent calendars: as a child, we had a neighbor make us an advent calendar with little rolled up papers with scriptures on it about the Savior. We looked forward to reading a paper every evening (we were home... if you miss, just read two the next night). It was wonderful because it got us thinking about the Savior and it pulled our family together every night. Now that I'm older, my sister-in-law put together a book of songs, stories or poems for every day in December. You could easily go online and find some Christmas stories to read every day or a few times a week.

-12 days of Christmas: I began doing this when I was a teen. At first, we did whatever for the gifts. Once I got married, my husband and I came up with some symbolic meanings of each item in the song and gave them a little paper to go with a gift (usually it matched what was in the song... we liked to do ornaments or things that could go on the tree). I've always loved doing this! It really makes my Christmas (oh, and you can either give them all 12 gifts at once, but put each in a brown paper bag with a number on it, or you can place it on their doorstep every night. We usually chose someone we knew needed a little uplift!

-a few more I thought of (sorry, it's a long post)... read the book "The Christmas Jar." It's very short, but may give you another idea. This family used a jar to collect their spare change, and then gave it to a family a little before Christmas.

-you could also take "Christmas" and give it to someone else. Have your little O. help you choose the gifts and wrap them, explaining what you are doing.

-my mom always had beautiful books that had touching Christmas messages in them, and I would read them all month long! You could also take some dinner or later evening time to talk about what Christmas means to you and your husband. Explain why we celebrate Christmas and what all the Christmas Symbols truly mean (the star, angels, evergreen tree, candy cane, wreath, etc. you can also find this list online, I'm sure).

--anyway, I hope this helps!

Since we had our son I have always had a firm fast rule that he is only allowed O. toy from his grandparents and us. He knows about Santa now and we have decided that my husband and I will get him O. gift and Santa will bring him O. gift. This year we also did the Samaritan's Purse Shoebox project. When we went to the store we only looked for gifts for the little boy. He insisted he wanted to go play with the toys but I thought it was better he concentrate on only looking for toys for the boy. I told him that some kids don't ever get presents and don't have all the neat things he has. I let him take the filled shoebox into Chick-fila the other day. When he gave the box to the lady he said proudly, "We bought presents for a little boy who doesn't have any." He is only 2 1/2 and I don't know if he completely understands the concept but this is something we plan on doing every year.

For our first married Christmas, we went out of town and made goodies for the parents to eat/share in our absence, lol. That did not go over well with MIL at all, she's still bitter.

The next year we decided to put our efforts into those in need, and told everyone that instead of gifts for family we were doing gifts for Angel Tree kids, elderly w/out family, soldiers in duty, etc. They couldn't argue with that and we've been doing it every since.

Hi Denise,

Here are some suggestions: Set up gift giving guidelines for the family, like agree not to exchange, or to only give to a charity on their behalf. I tell others that I don't want anything at all-that would be the perfect gift.

For children, we limit exchanging within the extended family, O. person to O. person, and for my own kids it's a stocking of fun items, 1 or 2 thoughtful gifts, and some books; For adults on the top priority list (parents, grandparents, etc.), we try to get something that either helps that person, and/or others: i.e. Buy a cleaning session from a maid service; buy manicure/hair salon gift certificate; buy into providing clean water in an impoverished area (Church World Service, World Vision, Heifer International) You could also adopt a family through a local women's or family shelter; Check out charitynavigator.org for more ideas.

To keep my own holiday "simple", I return a lot of gifts and I put early received gifts into the Toys for Tots bins. I find more joy in giving it to those less fortunate than I.

Shop online as much as possible. Stay out of the stores as much as possible. After all, they don't care about you or your "the meaning" of Christmas.

Find a way to spend quality time with your child and husband.

I like to attend my religious service, and sing carols with family. I also love to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special-it has the perfect story line.

We spend the night at my in-laws so we don't have to buy a tree or decorate. Before opening any presents on Christmas morning we read the Bible, sing happy birthday to Jesus, and have birthday cake after a breakfast of french toast. Then we open gifts. My husband and I buy three gifts each for our kids...Jesus only got three gifts so why do our kids need more? Not to mention the fact that their grandparents spoil them rotten. We are very minimal on buying for others in the family, too. We are more likely to use our Discover Bonus Rewards for Christmas presents for family if we are getting for anyone else.

The holidays can be as simple or dramatic as you'd like it. Be sure you take time to breathe and enjoy what's going on around you. No need for a big, fancy meal. Make a few special dishes and try cooking and prepping ahead at your leisure. Buy gifts as you can afford them. A few special gifts are better than a room full of stuff that will rarely be touched and take forever to catch up financially from. We do simple decorations inside and out. Play Christmas movies and shows to keep in the spirit. Make ready to bake cookies. 5 year olds can easily help with tossing them on the pan, lol. They can also make linked garland out of construction paper and put on the tree or around the house. Try putting on Christmas music while doing your house work. You and your child can dance and sing while picking up, and have a Christmas cookie when you're done. We don't do much in our house, nothing fancy, but the things we do are special and we do them every year to make them our tradition. Oh, and don't forget a gingerbread house! O. thing we do not do is put up decor and our tree early! You get tired of it too quickly and then want to rip it down the day after Christmas. Who wants to spend the day after Christmas doing that? That's the time to play with the kids toys with the tree still standing, lol. We don't put things up until a couple weeks before, and don't take them down until New Year's Day, or at least a few days after Christmas. Take tons of pics of everything you do! You'll love the memories!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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You know last Christmas we decided that we weren't going to spend a lot of money on each of our children. We didn't have very much money either. We spent about $35 on each child (we have 4 children). We bought about three nice present for that. We spent a little bit extra on stocking stuffer things. We also gave the kids a dollar to go to the dollar store and buy a gift for a sibling whose name they drew out of a hat.
That Christmas was the first the kids didn't have a melt down, fight or get grumpy. (We'd always done big Christmas's previously). I'm convinced too many presents just overwhelmed them.
This year we may spend a little more on presents but we will still only get 3 or 4 for them. It was the best thing we ever did last year.

HI Denise. No, a simple Christmas is not a myth. It's all about what you bring to the table. We started when our girls were little (and we had no money) by telling our girls to pick O. present that they wanted from Santa. Since we had each other, our family and home it was only fair that Santa give more to the children that didn't. Then we would just purchas a few small gifts from us to go along with the Santa gift. We still do that today even though they are teens. We also took the time to emphasize our beliefs of the season. Pre-planning, early shopping and wrapping, as well as including the kids in cookie night (each of my girls picks a type of cookie and we go cookie crazy O. night) decorating, plenty of Christmas music (there are always inexpensive high school concerts to enjoy!) Taking a night to enjoy the lights of the city and local neighborhoods. All these things can make your Christmas more meaningful and memorable of time spent together as a family. Best wishes and happy holidays!

Hi Denise:) Since I was a little girl we have always had Simple Christmases. My parents O. did not have the money to get us a lot but two they wanted us to know that getting presents is just not what it is all about. I have the same values now raising my two boys. We have such a nice time as a family going to our church Christmas Eve for a candle lit service. The week before Christmas I allow my now 4 yr old to stay up a little later evenings and we'll watch Christmas movies together and bake cookie to give out to friends and family. He LOVES this! This year I want to go Christmas caroling and I want to look into maybe taking my kids and helping out at a soup kitchen, teaching them about the bigger world around them and to give and serve. It really is the simple things in life that say the most about our love for each other and for God. I am with you on trying sooo hard to not get caught up in all the materialism and business of this season. God bless you and your family. Have a wonderful Holiday Season.