Interview.......& Now Rejected.......How to Cope!

Updated on October 31, 2012
T.S. asks from Lima, OH
18 answers

Hi there everyone. Quick background here: I am a mother of 3 children ages 4, 2 and 1 and been married for over 7 years. My life is pretty great. I worked as a secretary / administrative assistant the last 8 years and my last job my hours were reduced. I quit because by the time I added childcare and gas, I was paying to work. So my husband and I decided for me to quit and that way I could spend time with the kids! I loved every minute of my decision. I have been a stay at home mom and wife for only 6 months and we decided I needed to try and get back out in the work field just because we thought our finances could handle my husband's income alone, which for the most part has, but there have been some issues where we had to tip into the savings. Plus, we are needing to move because our oldest is starting kindergarden next year and we are NOT in a "good" school district. This is only to better our children for the reason of moving. We thought about open enrolling, but the only school near us said there is a waiting llst always to get into Kindergarden, 1st and 2nd grades. Unfortunately without me working, we just cannot afford to move.

So, I just had an interview last Tuesday with a local hospital. Well the place is actually contracted with the hospital and you do like billing and other things. I thought I did really good honestly at the interview, but when I called today to speak with one of the ladies I interviewed with, she said the position was already filled and they would keep my resume on file. Talk about getting stabbed! I am so devestated that I didn't get this job. It was perfect and the pay was awesome! The only downside was working holidays and weekends, but if you came in early on those days, you could leave earlier too. I just keep thinking in my head "what did I say wrong", "why didn't they pick me", "did I come off quiet or too strong"? I know that God has a path for everyone and maybe this was a way for Him to tell me to spend the time with my kids, which I am fine with, but my life revolves around our kids. I will do anything for them. I want them to get a good education, but we can't afford to buy a house.

How did you cope when you found out you didn't get a job? Just move on or did you wonder why you didn't get it?

Sorry I don't mean to sound weird, I am just disappointed I didn't get this job. Thanks!

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Featured Answers


answers from Los Angeles on

Nobody likes rejection.

But it is what it is and I am a firm believer in 'Everything happens for a reason' I say let it go and try, try again. You will eventually find what you are looking for.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I would take 5 minutes to be disappointed. Then move point in wondering why you didn't get it...just move on.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Pittsburgh on

You need to understand that everything happens for a reason. That was not the right position for you. The sooner you realize that and move on, the happier you will be. You'll also be able to focus your energies on finding the job that is right for you.

Sometimes you never find out why that wasn't the one, but sometimes you do. Until then, hold your head high and keep looking. The right position is out there for you.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

If every interview turned into a job offer, there would be no interviewing. I think you have to look at the positives - just getting an interview is a huge step! Most people don't get that chance.

The absolute first thing you must do to get an interview and job is update your resume and make it look outstanding. Once that is done, apply, apply, apply. Then, network. Who do you know that can help you land a job? That is really the best way in.

Good luck and in box me if you'd like help with your resume.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

It is perfectly okay to ask the person who interviewed you if they have any feedback for you. For all you know, they thought you were great, but are obligated to hire internally first if they can. Or maybe someone with very senior and recent experience applied. You just never know! It might not have been you at all. But if they do offer you any feedback, listen and do what you can to take action on the feedback for next time.

Don't let one rejection keep you from trying again. There are a lot of people out of work right now, so many people are interviewing for each job opening. Just keep at it - something will come through for you! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I am sorry you are disappointed. I am a firm believer in that God has a plan for everyone. If this door closed, another one will open or He will open a window--- You never know. What you do know is that God is faithful and will bring your family through this hardship if you aren't meant to be working outside the home. Hang in there and know there are better days ahead~

When I didn't get the job I applied for, it was disappointing--but I also am a optimist and knew something better was around the corner. So hold onto the hope!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

At my last job, I also had my hours cut - in half! I worked part time for 2 years always trying to get a full time job. In all that time, I only got called for 2 interviews and didn't get either job. I was devastated because I had always gotten the job once I interviewed!

I just kept plugging away thinking that God will provide if I just do the footwork. Lo and behold, completely unexpectedly, my former employer laid me off in one breath, and in the next told me he had lined up a full time job for me with one of our attorney friends. He made sure I got the same pay, and same benefits. I went to work for my new employer 13 months ago and have NEVER been happier!

So, just trust that God does have a plan and he will provide, but keep doing the footwork. When the job is the right one, you WILL get it!



answers from Pittsburgh on

Get back up on the horse! Lol
Keep looking and the right situation will find you.
Oh--it's unclear whether you WANT to go back or have to go back to work.
Now is the time to think outside the box. An evening/weekend position might mean ZERO child are costs AND weekdays with your kids,
I'm a pretty big believer in "live on less than you make--no matter the amount" so take another look at income, budget, etc. maybe a PT position or temping would make enough of an income difference if you play it right?
Just saying--you might not want to create a situation ( higher taxes, more mortgage ) right now that locks you into working FT for a decade IF you don't need to!
Good luck!



answers from Seattle on

I have been on many interview committees for my old job - usually the candidates who were rejected did nothing wrong, it was just that the person that was picked stood out.
We have had a couple of incredibly close decisions, we did end up hiring at least two people that we really liked for other jobs later on...
Don't feel to beat up about it, something else will come along!



answers from Kansas City on

I always second guess myself after an interview, whether I did well or not. Have you signed up with staffing agencies? I always do when I get laid off and they've always found me work quicker than I could myself.


answers from Houston on

They may have already had a person already in mind but had to do the whole interview ploy for EEOC reasons. You will NOT get an honest answer from the panel because of the whole SUE mentality of the USA. You will not take it, if for example, she said--a woman with 3 young kids will surely have too many sick days.

Also, my goodness you can teach whatever it is that is being taught in Kindergarten--ABCs, counting, colors. I get so tired of hearing moms talk about 'good' school systems--its a euphemism for not too many minorities.

Stay put, save money and home school until grade 3.



answers from Appleton on

When the economy is like this and so many people out of work it's an employer's market. If someone else came in with more or better experience or the interviewer simply liked her/him better, that person got the job. Don't think of it as anything you did wrong. Any chance you could call and speak to the woman who interviewed you and ask if there was somthing you could improve on? It could be as simple as you wore a color she doesn't like. Or she thought you would be calling in a lot because you have young children, or maybe an expression on your face when she mentioned weekends and holidays. You never know and often do not get answers.



answers from Columbus on

I'm sorry you didn't get the job. This happened to me last year and I just told myself it wasn't meant to be and then I got really confident with myself and said, well, it was their loss!!

Don't take it too personally (I know, easier said than done!) - you have to remember right now there are about a hundred people applying for each ONE opening that might be out there. And I'm sure for this particular opening there is someone else feeling the exact same thing you are right now!

Just keep putting the applications out there - have you tried all the job sites? You probably know about,,, etc. I'm sure something will turn up!!

Good luck!!!



answers from Redding on

My philosophy is....
You didn't get the job because you weren't meant to have it.

I've been disappointed before too. It happens. But, ultimately, I went on to get an even better job than the one I thought I couldn't live without.

Some things just aren't meant to be. Dwelling on it is just wasted energy.

Best wishes.



answers from Houston on

Well life is full of disappointments! I completely understand. I have been on both sides of the desk. With the econmy the way it is, employers have choices that they might not have had in the past. Unfortunately, you need to realize that you aren't going to get the job offer after every interview. While it might seem perfect to you, remember someone else thinks that too.

You need to pull yourself up and keep looking. Send out several resumes to several employers, talk to recruiters at staffing companies. Alot of employers are going the temp to perm route. Also, this time of year is rough. Most companies are nearing the end of their budget and end of year and the holiday season.

You haven't had to interview for a long time. This was a dress rehearsal. Review your performance and go from there.

Don't take it personal, this is business. Easier said than done! I'm sorry!!! Chin up!!!



answers from Washington DC on

If you think you've been "stabbed" and are "devastated," you need to cool off and remember what it was like to hunt for a job. You are taking this personally; you did not do or say anything wrong, necessarily. The job may have already been destined for someone already working in this firm, but they had to advertise it and do some interviews to meet legal requirements, even if they really never had any intention of hiring from outside.

Or, yes, the job opening might have been truly legitimate, but you may just not have been the right person for the job--that does happen and you cannot be devastated every single time, or you will frankly be too fragile to hunt for jobs. Think through what you could have done differently and then move on to another interview somewhere else. To be honest, you cannot function if you take everything so personally. Once you do land a job, will you be devastated when you are told to do something differently from what you thought was right? When you get your first performance review and it's not perfect? When you mess up and have to fix something? Those things will happen, at some point. If you feel stabbed and devastated every time, you won't last long and will be constantly upset.

So yes, do ask yourself, "What could I have done differently in that interview" and learn from it, but do not dwell on it to the point it's all you can think about. This was just the first interview of possibly many, so getting crushed now would not help you at all. And remember -- there are MANY people seeking jobs; the person who got it could have been someone with a ton of experience already doing exactly what this job does, in a hospital setting, and that kind of experience would trump yours even if your interview were just perfect.

Everyone wonders why they didn't get this or that job. Everyone. But learn what you can and move on, or you'll be paralyzed.


answers from Norfolk on

When I was job hunting after college, they told us to expect to send out hundreds of resumes, resulting 20 to 30 interviews, only a few of those will call you back for a 2nd interview and EVENTUALLY you will get hired.
You have to make looking for work your job - spend time on it every day - until you land one.
If your resume is not getting call backs, re-format it and send it out again and explore different areas where your talents might come in handy.
You just have to keep at it and not let the rejections get you down.
Hang in there!



answers from Bellingham on

Well, I've been on both sides - interviewer, and rejected interviewee - many times. One rejection does not mean you're hopeless at all. When you receive a rejection, it is quite acceptable to ask the interviewers the reason you did not get the job, and to give you some constructive criticism. This may help you in your next interview.

My biggest tip - and I'm a firm believer that this really landed me my great job (besides the postgrad quals I worked for years for) - is to tell the interviewers what they want to hear. For example: 'Will your family committments impact upon your ability to do your work properly?'
'No! I'm lucky because I have a really great support system which allows me to work professionally'. etc.

Don't lose heart - there will be other opportunities for you. Good luck with them!

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