Intake Conference

Updated on November 02, 2007
S.R. asks from Hollidaysburg, PA
9 answers

Hi everyone! Question is i filed for custody after the childrens father refused to see or pay for them. My hearing is November the 7th maybe some one can shed some light on me he yet again is refusing to claim any certified mail from the court house and the custody office has advised me either way i have to show can any one give me any experiences they have had. What if he doesn't claim his letter? What if he doesn't show? What next? Also i am going to be attending the class that is mandatory for custody 3 days prior to my intake conference. I am so stressed! Without him making any attempt to see the children or any phone calls in 14 months i feel it's time to get custody of our children. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! THANKS

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So What Happened?

My hearing was scheduled for Nov. 7th and i was informed today that my x left the letter unclaimed and did not pick it up. So the custody office contacted me today and let me know they would send a letter out today via regular mail so hopefully he doesn't show and i get my custody and i continue on with me & my children's life after i get my custody i am thinking of relocating to the pittsburgh swickley area. I will let you all know what happens nov. 7th

More Answers

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J.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If he does not respond or show up in court, the police will kindly give him a ride to court unless he decides to go to your attorney's office and relinquish rights. You will waste huge amounts of time getting nothing accomplished and its very frustrating, you'll wonder who is there to protect your rights or that of your children, but it will be worth it in the end.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

S.,

While I haven't personally been in this type of situation having been there for my parents when they fought for custody of my three little cousins after their mother's death, I know how frustrating the whole legal system can be. I think it is absolutely time that you get custody of the children. I'm not sure how it works but it might be worth looking into a process server to deliver the court papers.

Try to be patient with the system. Remember that you are working on doing what is best for your children. The court is on your children's side too. Have faith that it will all work out in the end. It may be frustrating as hell in between but it will work out.

Good luck. I'll be keeping you and your children in my prayers.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sorry to hear what you're going through and the fact that you're so stressed and upset shows how much you care. But remember, you need to relax because you're the best thing your kids have and they need their mom. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Now, I wasn't sure if I understood you, but I thought you're main concern was that he hasn't "responded" yet. You can get him served. I'm not sure how it works here, but in California they have a service right at the courthouse that you paid for ($25) and an officer (for me sheriff's deputy) hand delivers the package. After that these other women seem to have cleared it up.... You do everything you can on your part and it will show that you are the one those kids need to be with.. Remember, he can only hurt/affect/stress you out if you let him... don't... Concentrate on your kids only and attend your class etc. It WILL all work out in the end.
Good Luck and God's Peace

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M.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Don't worry too much about if he does not except the letter...once you go to court they will take everything out of your hands and put it in theirs.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

A friend of mine had a lot of problems with her baby's father and still does actually but the best thing you can do is follow the advice of your attorney. If he does not claim any of the certified mail, that is on him I believe. He knows he has to sign for it and unless he can prove he's been away the entire time, the judge should look at it as a out right refusal to accept anything. You should do everything your supposed to do. Whether he does or not doesn't matter. It looks better for you and if he continues to refuse to do anything he will lose out in the end and decisions will be made whether he is there or not. Good luck with everything. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Sharon on

I agree with what everyone has said.The only thing is keep everything(even the letters you get from your attorney)I have all my stuff in a folder in a secure spot.
If he's not getting his mail than that's on him,not you so don't worry about that.I took the classes and it wasn't fun.My class was a mixed of people recieving child support,paying,parents with/without custody,just a different blend of people and there was one point it turned into a huge fight about having custody/not having custody..it was nasty(i stayed out of it)But i even saved the paperwork i recieved from them(on dealing with divoce and children)some of it was very informative.And my ex never attended these calsses even being court ordered and nothing ever happened to him.
But good luck to you.And go to d.r. and get child support taken right out of his pay.Here in Pa they will back it up and make him pay back child support(atleast they did with my ex when i took him)and I'm not sure but you might be able to get support for you too...i couldn't because it was too late but it's something to look into.
J.

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L.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

You still need to go. It looks better for you. If he doesn't show they might make another hearing. Sometimes they don't give one parent full custody. They will start off with one parent haveing main custody and the other having partail. Just record everything. When he contacts u or even sees the kids.

I went threw this a couple of years ago with my boys father. Don't be suprise if he shows and tryies to say that u are keeping the kids from him.

Just stand your grounds and don't back down from it. Best of luck. What class do u have to take for custody?

You don;t have to wait for full custody to file for support. They go back as far as you filed.

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R.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Dear S.,
I can not imagine your childrens pain, or yours. I have no experience with divorce personally, but my parents divorced 14 years ago and I watched my Dad do similar things. The only advice I can give, is stop persuing him. It sounds like you already have custody. Get help from government assistance or spend your court energy making it on your own. You are destroying all your positive energy putting it into chasing him. The system will only make you bitter. Enjoy the kids, they are a blessing. Enjoy the fall, it is a good year. Let him deal with his own issues, he obviously has a great deal, pitty him, he is missing out on the beautiful children you have brought into this world. Try, try, try to enjoy the children for they are the ones who will feel the greatest rejection. Take time every day to talk with them, give them individual attention and educate them. I have seen single women raise children to be doctors, attorneys, teachers... just be greatful he is not fighting for custody to be manipulative. I wish you happiness. Please don't hesitate to email me. I have a crazy history, and am one of 14 children (all biological/natural), I put myself through college, one brother is a pediatrician, all successful/happy/healthy and my Mom basically raised us on her own. She is a hard working saint and we love her dearly and will care for her until she needs us no longer. My Dad really missed out!

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R.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, If you are in Allegheny County PA, the University of Pittsburgh has a Family Law Clinic that takes cases for free.

I am a law student, and if you have questions about the clinic or would like me to do some research for you, please email me at ____@____.com

Your kids are lucky to have you--Good Luck!

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