Inlaws Giving My Kids Soda

Tell them the dr has him on a strict diet for a few months and share with them what he is limited to. Frustrating I can imagine, but they are at an age where you can let them know what they can and cannot have before you go for a visit.

What makes this more difficult is that you need them for childcare so you can work. It is wonderful of them if they can take care of this for you, however, you are probably going to have to let them all know that if they can't follow the guidelines that you need to follow with his diet that you'll have to consider alternate childcare. A daycare certainly wouldn't give this beverage.

My family did the same thing, my daughter is 2 years old and loves coffee.
So what i did was tell them that the only time she could have soda was before 4pm bc if any later, i had a hard time getting her to sleep, and that i limited it to only 4 ounces. total. So now for lunch they will give her sweet team and other times she gets juice, water.
I also tried limited her to a some what diet, I just counted what i was giving her, like 8 oz of milk a day, 5 oz juice. i read it all up online. Bc my daughter really wasnt eating, an i soon realized she was drinking to much milk and that was making her full.
But i would talk to them and be like i dont care if you give it to them, just no more than 5 oz all together. and it has to be before 4pm. Hope that helps

Ok...I'm gonna sound like a B***** her but here's how we handled that with my in-laws. My MIL would go behind my BIL's back all the time and give his infant food and drinks that were inappropriate for her age. She would literally grind up pizza and other junk and spoon feed it to his 4 month old while he was working...and then brag about it to us later. We very clearly told them, "and this is why you will NEVER watch our children. If you can not respect the parents wishes then you will not be permitted to watch them." Plain and simple. She still repeatedly tried to sneak food or drink to our child and finally I just flat out told her "If you continue to disrespect us as her parents and can not follow our guidelines you will no longer be allowed to see our child." It wasn't just the inlaws, my oldest sister and her hubby used to bring sweet treats everytime they visited. We also put a stop to that. It's not healthy to have all that sugar and caffeine all the time. Once in a while for a sweet treat is ok, but NEVER soda for a child. Our four year old drinks water all day, always has, she has 4 oz of unsweetened apple juice with her lunch and occasionally milk but she is not a milk drinker. Just put your foot down now for the sake of your children's health.

I'm in a snarky mood, so i apologize in advance:
I would tell them both that they get to pay the dental bills when they start rolling in.
Despite all the worries about caffeine and sugar and artificial sweetener... the thing you should worry about most is the long term effects of the carbonation on their teeth. That stuff RUINS the enamel on teeth. Your kids can end up with loads of cavities and tooth sensitivities, not from the sugar... but the carbonation. Well, actually its the phosphorous and the acid.

No. Just no.

I am a woman of moderation on most things but soda is one of my few serious no-nos. I do not drink it -- Which is easy because fortunately I hate it in all its varieties -- And I do not want my children drinking it now or choosing it frequently over other beverage options once they are older and not under my supervision.

Stay strong mama. There is nothing but "pros" to avoiding soda and nothing but "cons" for making it easily accessible.

BTW -- Yes my kids have had soda and will have it in the future. The best I can do is lay down some rules: Not until they're in school. Not more than one/month. Not diet or caffeinated. Not a whole can. Not on a hot day while running around outside. Etcetera.

y.

You are not going to be able to change anyone else so you have to choose to change. If you are mid to low income you can get child care free or with a minimal co-pay through the state. I had 58 kids enrolled in my child care center and only one of those paid cash for the entire fee. The most co-pay I had was about 40%, she and her husband both worked and made very good money.

Your combined family income can be up to almost $3000 per month and still get some kind of assistance in child care.

#4.
http://www.okdhs.org/programsandservices/cc/asst/docs/faq...

This link is to show you what the state pays the care center for your children. I had a 2 star center in an enhanced area. Which Tulsa county would be enhanced. So, full time child care is about $27 per day for you if you paid cash. If you get subsidy for...say 50%, that's only $13.50 per day.
OKDHS pay scale for providers who receive subsidy. This is what they pay the provider.
http://www.okdhs.org/NR/rdonlyres/2E81F###-###-####-487B-...

If it were me and I didn't make the $3000 a month I would certainly be looking for child care so that I could be sure my kids were getting the care I wanted. It would be worth whatever co-pay I had to pay.

That would really fry my bacon. It may do no good at all, but what if you were to sit down with the adults individually, and ask them what it would take for them to give the kids healthier drinks. What if YOU provided beverages; would they then agree to use those drinks?

Would they be willing to listen to a bit of research? If you google "soft drinks and children's health" you'll find many sources describing the possible harm, to teeth, bones, general nutrition, obestity (which has several serious related effects on blood vessels and increasing the likelihood of diabetes), nervous system effects, and more. Here's one good site: http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/ped....

Unfortunately, they will more than likely feel judged and defensive because they apparently like these drinks and consider them safe for adults. If you can't switch caregivers, you may need to start working on your kids and see if you can convince them pop is poison.

Good luck.

WHAT???? Your children are FAR too young to be having soda and your mother and MIL are WAY out of line here....It is beyond time for you to sit them down and tell them that your children are NOT to have soda for ANY reason and then I would send along juice/water/milk for them to drink while at their homes....If your rules cannot be followed, I would pull them out of the environment.....Soda at their age is absolutely ABSURD and can cause so many health issues! You are their mom and it is time you assert yourself as such, no matter who it is that you are asserting yourself too......

Put your foot down. Simply explain that this is your child, and you do not want him to have soda, end of discussion. They need to respect you as the mom.

Ugh. Soda. I am not completely against it. I admit I love Dr. Pepper, myself. I don't drink it every day though.
There are some kids, even older ones, who shouldn't have soda, in my opinion. I have a friend whose son is 11 and he acts like he will die if he doesn't have it. He throws fits, the whole bit. He is also quite overweight and absolutely will not do anything that requires physical activity. She tries to get him to do things, but he won't budge. And, she gives in on the soda thing.
I don't really get it.
I never drink Mountain Dew, I think it tastes gross, but I also think it's loaded with caffeine. Not to mention the sugar.
When I have kids at my house, and I started this when my kids were very young, I let them have bubble water. It's seltzer. Carbonated water. No sugar, no calories. You can add a little lemon, lime or orange juice for flavor, but you'd be surprised how many kids like it just plain.
Maybe you can get your moms on board with letting them have that instead. You can get 2-litre bottles at Winco for 78 cents. They sell it at almost all grocery stores. I have found that they moved it from the soda isle in some to the liquor section, but hey.....
The 11 year old I mentioned has no problem drinking it at my house and said he even loves it. I bought him some to send home with him. He drank it, but went right back to soda because his mom buys it for him.
Soda is really h*** o* little kids teeth. Perhaps you can enlist your kids dentist to write a note...."No more soda or sugary drinks".
That might help.
I think you will just have to say that you don't want them giving them so much soda. Buy some bubble water for the kids instead. Tell your moms that from now on, that is their "soda" and that's all you'd like them to have when they aren't having milk and juice and regular water.
It's also okay for your kids to say, "We want bubble water, Grandma. Soda can hurt our teeth." If the kids aren't asking for soda, maybe the grandmas won't be so tempted to give it to them.
Convince your kids that bubble water is the new "soda" and the greatest thing ever invented.

I hope you get some great responses.

Dear Lord-not only do they give them soda but the evilist of all soda-Mt. Dew!! My kids are allowed a soda a couple time a week-but never Dew. They know that I will never permit them to drink it. It is loaded with extra caffeine. They are allowed sprite or root beer and if it is an extra special occasion a caf free coke.

Can you try to tell your kids that they will be punished if they drink soda at Grandmas and that it is poison and will make them sick? Not exactly untrue.

Also-you should bring over the drinks that you want them to have. Instead of just telling them give the kids water-buy the tiny bottles and leave them at their house. This way they will have no excuse not to give them it. Might cost more but its worth it if the alternative is mt dew. Also buy some juice boxes and milks in little containers.

I let my kids have soda on occasion because I do not want them to become obsessed with the forbidden. But 6 months is way too young. tell your mom there needs to be limits and have your husband talk to your inlaws. Also give them a tooth brush and toothpaste and let them know that if they want to provide the drink they can help brush their teeth afterward. Maybe if they have to do that they will give soda less??? ;0)

I wouldn't let them watch my kids anymore. It would be no different than if you hired a sitter that was doing something to your child you didn't like or approve of. Find someone else to watch them who will respect your wishes for your children.

Are they watching your kids for free? Because I am FLOORED that anyone would give Mountain Dew to a 6 month old infant! Not only are they having mood swings, but what kind of shape are their teeth in?

I don't know how firm you have been with them in the past, but you need to just be straight with them and let them know that soda is just not allowed anymore! If they won't listen to you, tell them this is coming from their pediatrician and/or dentist - "I've been really concerned about how DS seems to be behaving and having mood swings so I talked to his doctor about it. And when I took him to the dentist they found 2 cavities. They said the soda is probably the reason so we really need to stop letting them have it."

Otherwise I would be looking for other child care arrangements, if they can't respect your wishes. Even if it costs more money (or any money), your childrens' health and well-being needs to come first! Since this started with your in-laws, can you get your husband on board with you too?

I've had this same problem with other family members giving my girls soda. I don't think what can actually happen when kids/we consume caffiene. You'll have to have a sitdown with them and make them realize how unhealthy it actually, do some research and print it up to show them the facts on paper. Sugar and caffiene does effect kids more greatly than it does adults and can cause all the symptoms that you mentioned. Also, talk to your kids and get them to understand how just bc something that tastes good isn't always good for you, let them know about all the icky things it could do to their body. Caffiene keeps our bodys from absorbing iron and calcium, which we all know effects our immune system and our attention and focus. Do some research and try your best to get them to fully understand the severity of this and that they are causing harm! Good luck, all we can do is try!

Wow, when I read this earlier I didn't think I could give you a helpful answer, because I am strongly against giving children junk, period.

Then, on Mamas On Call, their "Daily Find" led to this link:

http://www.liverightlivewell.com/familymanager/diet/soda_...

This easy to read report lists many of the problems with giving soda to children:
obesity, diabetes, liver disease, high blood pressure, and most alarmingly:

"•A child’s risk for obesity increases an average of 60 percent with every additional daily serving of sugary soda."

Then ask how they feel about giving insulin shots.

Diet soda also contains aspartame (nutra sweet) which, at body temperature, converts into toxins and heavy metals. Cancer, anyone?

We do a bit of fizzy water and juice. And root beer very occasionally--- this is the big treat after Kiddo gets a shot, and only then. (and the portion is about 4 oz. not 20.)

It may be, too, that your son is exhibiting these behaviors because of the sugar. Little bodies are not meant to tolerate that amount of sugar. As a preschool teacher, I ask parents not to send sweets in lunches, etc., because children need even their diet to support their work of being at school, in the group. When kids come to school after sweet breakfasts, there tends to be some time of sugar crash, when I am working my hardest to smooth interactions between them, because even one upset, crashed out kid can have a ripple effect. Some people believe that sugar has no effect on kids, and I used to feel the same way. After 19 years of working with kids,though, I beg to differ.

H.

My 3 year old is not allowed to watch scooby doo, sponge bob, and a few other shows and he will tell which ever set of grandparents is watching him that he can't watch that so your kids need to learn to tell the grandparents no thank you. They are old enough. Aldo have them babysit at your house if you don't have soda in your home then they won't have it to drink.

The sugar issue would make me so angry but the real issue you have know is caffeine!If you try taking him off the Mt. Dew and other caffeinated sodas he will go through withdrawal. Lay down your expectations and pack all their snacks and meals AND drinks for them each day. At first at least tell them no extras since you want to start off on the right foot with a healthier lifestyle. If you pack the food they are less likely to give other stuff and less likely to feel like if they have to provide the food they should get to choose. You may have to wean them off the caffeine slowly--caffeine withdrawal is no fun. How much are they drinking per day?

I don't think a little soda once in a while hurts anything.
That said, it is the parents' call as to whether the kids are allowed to have certain things. If you tell your mom and mil that you don't want the kids drinking soda, they should abide by that, regardless of whether or not they agree with it.
Otherwise, find another child care provider who will honor your wishes regarding your kids' diet.

Yes. It should have been done already if this is how you feel but it is not too late. Tell them both under no uncertain terms that you do not want your children to have soda at all. Let them know that you are willing to allow some once in a great while but it must be caffeine free (like Sprite, 7up, or Sierra Mist). If you have to, see if someone else can watch your children if they won't comply

At 6 months of age, your child was too young for soda and the grandparents should have been stopped them. These are your children, not theirs, and they need to comply. I have a few relatives that push their luck and they don't watch my child anymore.

LOL! I wonder if I saw your in-laws at a baseball game - I once saw someone pouring mountain dew in a baby bottle - I about went into hysterics! You will need to take on the momma bear attitude...put your foot down. You can do it!

If they don't listen to you and you don't have another choice but to leave them with you parents I say take them to your next doctors appointment and let them have a talk with the pediatrician. If they haven't listened to you the past four years I don't think they will start now which is really sad. Hope thinks work out for you all.

Lay some new ground rules and say if they are not fed according to your specifications then you will be forced to find different childcare arrangements.

I'd be furious!!! My initial response was to say, if they could not respect your wishes on this, then they cant watch the children. However, since you NEED them to do that, you can't say that.

Maybe bring them to your next doctor's appointment and have the doctor give them a good talking to? Or print out all of the information on how bad soda is for kids, and the childhood obesity epidemic? Also, even if your children are thin now, this can set them up for problems later.

So sorry! That would make me crazy!

I find it hard to believe that a simple "Please don't give MY children soda" doesn't work. I don't think that it even needs to be an issue. Both my mother and my mil have said that they don't necessarily agree with all of my parenting decisions but they both have said that they will do and comply with what I ask, regardless of whether or not they are watching them or if I am there. I would simply just talk to them and ask them politely to respect your wishes.
Good Luck

MT Dew has caffeine in it.

Your kids are 3 & 4... so THEY can, if you teach them, speak up and tell the In-Laws, no.
That is what we teach our kids. They know they are not allowed soda.

Soda, is terrible for kids.
Or, get a letter from your Pediatrician, saying NO soda for them. And give your In-Laws a copy, of it.

Make their food for them and tell your inlaws and mother that whatever you bring them that is all they will eat. You need to be firm and tell them they will not give them sodas. Express the long term effects of sodas diabetes,overweight issues, cavaties, etc. If they are resistant and don't care to listen to your wishes then I suggest finding a daycare or inhome care facitilty. In the long run it will be worth it instead of having to worry about the unhealthy lifestyle they are both teaching your kids.

Okay here is what you do. Buy a soda stream and start making sparkling water, it isn't bad for your kids and they can put some flavor in it such as lime or lemon. You could even use some other natural fruits such as raspberry in the glass or bluberries. Let your parents know that this is THE ONLY way they are to get a carbonated drink. If they don't like it then I would threaten them with having someone who would listen to your needs and what you would like to happen with your kids while they are in your care. I know it's family but would you take this from a daycare provider? I would let your parents know that by not respecting your wishes they are not respecting you and that hurts. And your children will be paying for it in the long run. Put your foot down sweetie, if you don't take care of it now there are more headaches to follow. Good Luck.

My kids occasionally get soda, but never anything other than sprite or a few sips of coca cola/pepsi, NEVER Mountain Dew.

You need to sit down and talk to your mom and in-laws and tell them how you feel. If they refuse to change, then start asking your co-workers to give you suggestions on a good provider that won't cost a lot of money.

And Coca-Cola is used to break up a cough; back in the day, parents used to give coke syrup to use as cough syrup.

Stand your ground!!! Kids don't need soda--AT ALL!!! My son is almost 6 and has never even had a sip!

Its always more tough to deal with in-laws, for me, rather than your own parents. Maybe discuss with your husband that he needs to let his parents know that neither of you want your children to have sodas or any other junk foods for that matter. You handle your Mom. If it continues then, I would give the ultimatum and be firm. These are your children and though they might meal well, its important for you, as their Mother, for you to keep them healthy. Its not a matter of the sodas as much as everyone being on board, within the family, and stay consistant. Your kiddos will soon start to pick up on the fact that Mom and MIL ignore your wishes and start to undermind you as well. Let them know that if it doesnt change, their alone time with the children will become few and far between until they can respect your wishes. My Mother and Grandmother almost gave into my three-year-olds request for C.. I simply told them, C. is not allowed. He is far too young and you dont pay the dental bills. They told me that when I was younger they allowed me to eat C.. I reminded them that I had four cavities filled when I was seven and it was painful and scary and I wouldnt want to put my child through that. Sorry to be long winded. Good luck with your Mom and MIL

I would discuss this with the pediatrician and get him/her to weigh in. I'm sure the doc will side with you re: caffeinated drinks! You can present it to them that way and if they still don't comply, consider alternatives to their care.

You'll have to work on your mom, but with the in-laws: Where's their adult son -- your husband -- in that equation? You have spoken to them. They won't listen. It's his time to tell them, not ask them, not to give the children soda. He must get involved or they won't change. If he's doing the "oh, it's my folks, they don't mean it badly, I had soda growing up" routine, locate articles about the effects of caffeine on young children and also get the pediatrician to talk to him -- soon. I'd get the doctor to document your son's mood swings and issues, and then take that to them and your mom and say, "The DOCTOR says here, absolutely no sodas. Please respect that for his health's sake. If you do give him sodas (and other stuff you ask them not to do) I'll have to look at our child care arrangements."

You could ask the in-laws, "Why don't you just give them coffee, and several cups, because that's the same as Mountain Dew." It's pure caffeine, sugar and nasty fake coloring--and food dyes also mess up some kids' systems, by the way. You might get your son tested for sensitivities to dyes.

It's too much to bring up right now, and I'd stick to the soda issue alone when you talk with them, but for the future, it does make one wonder whether they'll respect you on other matters as the issues with kids get bigger. If they are determined to be the "fun grandparents," will that still apply when you ask them to ensure the kids get homework done at their house, or when you ban certain TV shows? It's a thought.

I was also going to say to provide the drinks/snacks/ meals for them to eat when your MIL/ Mom are watching the kids.

Since you need your Mother and your inlaws to help you with the children while you are at work it is a bit of a sticky situation. You might try bringing alternatives to sofa over...flavored waters...juice etc but of course you have no way of controlling what they do when you are not there.
I think the biggest thing you can do is sit down with them and explain to them...kindly...and calmly....WHY this is such an important issue to you...tell them about how you feel like sugar increases your sons mood swings...and how important learning to eat healthy is to their future health. The only thing you can really do is hope to convince them to honor your desires. I have had to do a lot of "adjusting" in the way I handle food with my grandsons....both of my daughters are very health conscious...and I have always honored their desires...after all THEY are the parents and the decisions they make are their business....certainly not MINE!!! I had a Mother who tended to "butt in" where my daughters were concerned...and I think that is why I have tried to be so careful not to overstep my bounds as a grandparent!!
Good luck to you...it can be a tricky family matter..especially when they are helping out with child care.

Sigh. Yeah I fought the COFFEE IN THE BOTTLE with my own mum. And won it to a degree. She raised all of us ADHD kids, however, so she just got in the habit of giving kids caffeine to calm us down.

Like Theresa B, and some others, I just drew lines in the sand with family, and *absolutely* followed up on them. Certain things I gave up on completely (like mcdonalds), other things I was absolute on (spanking, drug use, etc.). Many things were grey areas (as in treats or "x" ***occasionally*** I'm not going to get in a snit over, regularly and 'watch out!' )... too many grey area things and it equaled "disrespecting parental wishes".

For both absolutes, and disrespecting our wishes... people have lost the privilege of having my son in their lives. Some for as little as a day (scooped up and headed home in the middle of a function/holiday), sometimes until I could be *guaranteed* it would NOT be happening again or they'd lose him forever (on the spanking issue it took my mum a week to cave, I would have been sad if it was forever, but I was willing for it to be forever... this isn't a manipulation game/ power struggle... there's no one to struggle with; I'm mom, I win. Period.), another family member is not only not allowed to watch my son, but not allowed to share air with him (no visitation or contact whatsoever -in person, mail, phone, etc.- nothing nada zilch... it was 'for the time being... maybe in a few years if you can stay clean that long' when she left my 2yo in her care alone at a busy park to go get high... and then turned into 'forever' when she started dating a pedophile and "traded" time with kids in her care to him and his friends for free drugs. Excuse me while I throw up. That's my MIL, btw. She's so untrumpable that i don't even bring her up in MIL gripe sessions).

Point being, as I've already said: I'm MOM. I win. Period. I have my lines in the sand, AND I'm firm about them. They've been carefully chosen, and just like with little kids I'm consistant as all get out in followthrough with family members and how they treat/act around my child. It took some time, but once people learned I really was willing to 'walk' over my chosen battles, they didn't have a choice IF they wanted my son in their lives. I don't play games. I'm very up front. Some things I choose not to fight, some things I'll groan about but tolerate, my tolerance level is at a preset limit with warnings, and some things I absolutely do NOT tolerate at all.

Pick your battles, and stick to the result. You honestly CAN'T lose, because you're mom.

Tough one! My sister helped me a lot with my older daughter, while I was single. I would ask that she didn't allow her to watch certain movies, like those that were rated R and bedroom scenes and drink sodas. My sister told me, "As long as she was at her house, she could do those things". I was defeated.

Can you provide them with all of his snacks/juices/meals?

I never give my kids soda. I have four kids: 7, 6, 3 and 2. My seven year old has had soda given to her by others maybe at most 4 times. The biggest worry is CAFFEINATED drinks. That's a big no-no, not just any soda. But really, I only give my kids milk, watered down juice and water. That's it.

I'd be very firm on this issue with the in laws- especially MOUNTAIN DEW AT 6 MONTHS! That stuff has more caffeine than many other sodas! If it is your rule (and it is a GOOD rule, at that), I would just be very outspoken about the whole thing-but you don't have to be mean. with stuff like this, I like to usually say "I'm a little obsessed with not having my kids have soda-it drives me crazy if they do" I like to add a little humor to lighten it up, while still making my point. Also, usually with in-laws, I have my husband do most of the explaining, and with my mom I do most of the talking -so maybe your husband can be firm about it.

good luck