Informing Job of Pregnancy

Updated on October 28, 2010
L.B. asks from Windsor Mill, MD
9 answers

Hello Moms,
I am in a bit of bind with my job. I am currently preganant with my second child. My first son is 7 months so this was a bit of a shocker to me. I have yet to inform my job of my pregancy because of multiple reasons. 1. With my first son I was put on bedrest for 6 months and therefore I was out of work. 2. My supervisor tells everyone in the office anything about their personal business. I conversate with her regarding work only, when it comes to personal business she likes to tell everyone. 3. I dont like anyone that I work with and therefore the less that they know about my personal life the better.
I want to write a letter to the Human Resources department at my job and do not want my supervisor to find out anything about it. I need help wrtiing the letter, I want to make sure that its nice enough so that the job doesnt know that I hate them but at the same time I want to make sure that they understand that this information needs to stay with them only and not discussed with my supervisor or anyone else at the office. Any help that you give me will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all the moms who answered this question. I wanted to clarify one issue that I am having. I have not informed my supervisor of my pregnancy because I feel as though she does not respect my privacy. This will be my third pregnancy, my first pregnancy was a miscarriage. When I asked the supervisor to keep it quiet she told everyone when I was out for the week instead of me telling them myself. I thought this was disrespectful and not professional. When I was ready to speak to everyone about it, they came to me saying that they were wondering how long it would take for me to say something since the supervisor had a meeting about it. I am currently in the end of my first trimester and am showing, I have been asked by some of the associates if I am pregnant and I have told them that I don't think they should worry about my life. There response is usually "I hope your not because you just had a baby, and that would be just wrong." I just think that's disrespectful and ignorant to say to someone. This is the reason why I don't like my coworkers. They are very rude and want to know everything that is going on in other peoples lives. I personally do not care to share any information with them and it doesn't elp that my supervisor is buddy buddy with everyone to the point that she has sleepovers with the employees. Hating my job is not even the word. I think that I am going to send HR a letter regarding my pregnancy and have them tell my supervisor on three way. This way if other employees hear something I definitely know who it came from and will act accordingly. I have been looking for a new job since the first day that I worked for this company. But had to stay to provide for my family etc. (There was a fight between the supervisor and an employee that involved her say she will meet her outside later off work property to really handle the situation.) I will continue to apply to jobs and pray that something comes up and soon. I don't know how much longer I can take this job. Again ladies thank you all of your suggestions are greatly appreciated.

More Answers



answers from Chicago on

Until you are ready for your supervisor to know don't send anything to HR. I work in HR and we will tell the supervisor, as they have a business need to know and once you notify us then we certainly can share that information with your immediate supervisor.

There is no set time limit on when you need to notify work, but you should do it before it becomes too obvious (at least your supervisor). There are other restrictions on FMLA than just having 50 employees. You are only entitled to 12 weeks within a 12 month period. so if you recently took leave of all 12 weeks you won't be eligible until 12 months have passed since you came back to work. You also need to have been there for more than 1 year before you are eligible.

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answers from Cumberland on

Wait to do anything until it is abundantly clear. Frankly, I don't think anyone is entitled to know-unless, of course, it's contagious. Not sure what industry you're in, but information given to HR-stays in HR. Period.

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answers from Washington DC on

I'd rather not say this, but you're right. You're in a bind.

Your Human Resources Department will notify your supervisor. You can't ask them not to. That's their job, and it's also her job, as a supervisor. It's too bad she can't keep things confidential.

But, FIRST, make sure you know ALL the company policies regarding "excessive absences". From the company point of view, that's what this will add up to.
THEN, put off telling them as long as possible... at least until part way through the second trimester. Just make sure you tell them before you start to noticeably show. You might not be on bed rest for this pregnancy; you might be fine. If you have to go to bed at night at 8 or 9 pm to stay healthy, FINE. Early bedtime never hurt anyone.

Get all your ducks in a row, and everything set up as much as you can BEFORE you tell them.

Good Luck!

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answers from Washington DC on

i don't get it.
i mean, i understand not wanting a snoopy supervisor to be in your personal business, but it's not like your pregnancy is something you are going to keep stashed away. and you can't expect the HR department to keep vital information (which your impending leave falls under) from your supervisor.
i suggest you wait until you are ready for your work to know officially, and then tell them. don't expect to keep your supervisor in the dark. she might be obnoxious, but she can't run her department if she's not aware of who she will actually have there with boots on the ground. it's not unreasonable of her to expect to be informed.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that after the first 3 or 4 months, you really need to tell your direct supervisor or manager. Beat her to the punch by also letting our co-workers know as well.

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answers from Norfolk on

I think I understand what you're saying. You have no reason to tell your employer at all. Once they see your baby bump they'll figure it out. You're not required to tell them at all so if you feel uncomfortable don't say anything and let them figure it out. If you feel like you should tell them wait until you're showing and then tell whoever you feel comfortable with. If it's a matter of putting in for time off etc... tell them at an appropriate time. If a handbook states those requests must be submitted 3 months in advance, do that. If the handbook doesn't say anything don't do anything. If you are unable to perform your job due to pregnancy tell your HR Director and s/he can discuss it with your supervisor or call a meeting with the 3 of you to discuss. I'm an HR Director and don't know of any states that require you to disclose a pregnancy or any other medical condition.

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answers from Houston on

In a few months, everyone at your office is going to know because it will be visible, and people can generally pick up on pregnancy, or if you are late to work due to nausea all morning long, your supervisor is going to figure it out, or if you have to take time off for Dr's appointments, sonograms, sickness. Usually waiting until about 12 weeks is a good time.

I thought this article explained it pretty well.

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answers from Chicago on

Unless you are on bedrest again, I would wait till the first trimester is over to tell ANYONE at work! I too was surprised when my first was 7 months and got pregnant with #2. We were going to try but REALLY thought it would take longer than 1 month to get prego-woops. I waited until 14 weeks to mention anything to my supervisor. Let people speculate. You will likely pop out faster but it is OK to wear control top hose until you are ready to tell someone or a similar type tummy slimmer in the first trimester. It is mostly just holding the bloating in :) I am prego with #3 and waiting till 13 weeks to tell this time. My kids are 3 years 3 mos and 23 mos. I KNOW my boss is going to be TICKED as we have a really really big case that is going to be in the middle of briefing while I am on leave and I will be forced into agreeing to work on it at home.

If you are with a job that has more than 50 employees (I believe that is the standard) you are entitled to job protection under the FMLA (meaning they cannot let you go for being pregnant or taking 12 weeks of leave after having a baby). There are a lot of websites on the Family Medical Leave Act that you can take a look at if you google the Act. BUT it sounds like you might want to take your maternity leave time to look for a NEW job since you seem to hate the people at yours. Good luck!

Do not expect that what you tell HR will not be transferred around, especially as your direct supervisor will have a right to know that you will be taking leave. It is better coming directly from you but again, I advise waiting until you are through the first trimester if possible!

Best wishes!

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