Info on COPD

Because she doesn't like people to worry about her approach your conversation with her in a factual and unemotional manner. Allow her to be in control of the conversation. If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, honor her feelings and don't talk about it. Especially wait until she's well from the pneumonia before even trying to get more information from her. She's weak and not feeling well. It's reasonable to not discuss anything serious until she's well.

Then continue to not show that you're worried. Be calm. Ask questions. Give information if she'll allow that. Show concern but recognize that she's the only one who has any control in this situation.

Often when we express worry to someone we're hoping to get them to do something. It can be a form of emotional blackmail. "I'm so worried. You need to do this for me" sort of attitude. Your mother may not like for people to worry about her because she feels that sort of pressure. Tell her that you want her to be healthy and at the same time that you know that what she does is her decision.

I like Marda's advice.
;)

Or, you can also accompany her, to her Doctor appointment too. If she will let you. Then you can ask the Doc questions. I would do that with my late Dad. He had a lot of medical problems. I would go WITH him to his appointments.

Make sure about her Pneumonia... at least she got antibiotics.

I am sure she will call you after her nap.

Does she live alone with has a Husband?

No matter what, just don't overwhelm her. Although you are naturally worried. She has to also, digest all that info. And she may not have the answers to your questions.

All the best.

My husband has COPD. Yes, it can sound scary but can be well managed & need not limit your mom's activities.

Two suggestions:
1.) Yeah, that smoking thing? She needs to be done with that. My husband, a smoker for over 50 years, had tried many times to quit. Five years ago, he tried Chantix & hasn't had a cigarette since. It's a prescription medication with some risks but worked very, very well for my husband and my sister (after her recent heart attack).

2.) If your mom doesn't have one already, suggest she ask her doctor to recommend a pulmonologist (a doctor who specializes in respiratory issues). I love my husband's primary care physician and he suggested this to my husband. His pulmonologist has a more complete understanding of respiratory issues and keeps in touch with his primary care provider to ensure my husband's illness is well managed and that none of his medications interferes with any other drugs he might need (he also has arthritis and cholesterol issues).

Good luck! I agree with other posters who recommend that you be supportive in a way that works for your low-key mom. Sometimes it's so difficult to keep that concern out of our voices!

I'm sorry you are going through this. Both of my parents had COPD, both caused by years of smoking. Mom had quit 20 years previously. Stopping smoking can slow it down, but nothing halts it, it is from damage done. With my mom, mostly when she had a cold or lung related problem, it was MUCH worse. she tired easily because she couldn't breath as well. Extreme temps were harder on her. Allergies were awful for her, too. She never was reliant on oxygen until about the last year before she died, which was more from alzheimers related issues (refused/forgot to eat). My dad, just had the constant coughing, tiredness, etc. He developed lung cancer, but he died before they started chemo.

Yes, both of my parents are dead, but they also had the COPD diagnoses for many, many years, and both were in horrible physical shape. They were not kind to their bodies, and paid for it in their later years.

I would say to be supportive however you can, and encourage her to be as healthy as possible to help her whole body overall. Ask her dr what she can and should do to strengthen her body and help things the best she can. My mom just enjoyed being an invalid, and milked it. I wanted her to try so bad, and she just wouldn't.

I am sorry for her diagnosis but there are many ways to help herself. This is a chronic illness and leaves her more susceptible infections. First and foremost is to stop smoking. You can be a big help with it. There are probably programs at her doctors or at the nearby hospital. Remember this is an addiction and it will take time. There may be other programs specifically for COPD at the hospital, also. Generally living a health life style with exercise and regularly taking her meds, COPD can be pretty manageable. Good luck!

I think you've gotten some good advice. Here's what I know of COPD - my aunt has been in the hospital for three weeks due to congestive heart failure from COPD. What people who haven't gone through this don't understand is that COPD is a horrible way to die. When someone has this and later has a heart attack or an infection and needs oxygen, there is only so much oxygen that can be given because the lungs are so scarred and stiff that they can't push the CO2 back out. So if the person gets too much oxygen, the body becomes saturated in CO2, which inhibits brain function to such a degree that the heart stops, breathing stops and they die. So the oxygen being administered has to be kept fairly low, and then the person struggles to breathe and slowly suffocates to death over several days, feeling short of breath, coughing, and in pain...or so zonked on meds to control those symptoms that there is little presence or quality to those days. My aunt isn't that old (72) but has been in the ICU for most of her stay. She was transferred to a regular floor for a few days and then to a cardiac re-hab for a couple of days before landing back in the hospital yesterday in much worse condition, now battling C-diff and a UTI. It's so sad to see her decline so quickly, and she gets so worked up whenever someone comes to visit and it worsens her breathing so she spends most of her time alone with family having to visit briefly and worry from afar.

I really hope that after your mom recovers from her pneumonia that you can have a serious conversation with her. There's no such thing as "a little COPD" - it's a horrible, progressive, deadly disease that is almost 100% preventable. Hopefully she'll quit smoking and will stop the damage where it is and go on to live a long, healthy life.

To compare a smoker and non-smoker, my non-smoker 93-year-old grandmother-in-law had pneumonia, a heart attack and kidney failure at around the same time my aunt had her congestive heart failure. She was moved from the hospital to a rehab after 4 days and moved home yesterday. The pneumonia took a few days to clear, her kidneys started recovering once she was hydrated and she has to now see a cardiologist but otherwise has a clean bill of health. She was able to recover even at her age because she can breathe, and she can breathe because she doesn't smoke.

Best wishes to your mom as she journeys forward.

Bottom line: She has it because she's a smoker. It will progress to emphysema. If she keeps on smoking, she will die of congestive heart failure. She'll basically drown herself.

My husband and I watched his mother die in September. She smoked until she couldn't hold a cigarrette anymore.