Infant Schedule Question: Feeding and Naps

I have a 3 mo old too and that sounds like his day too. Sometimes he'll give me mini naps too like 10-20 mins, but only a few big naps. I think that is just how 3 month olds are. They can't be awake for too long w/out getting sleepy especially if there is a lot for them to take in.

Hi G.-
Especially when babies are so little, they don't always need to be so scheduled. I found with my son, that if I fed him when he seemed hungry, and let him nap when he was sleepy... he eventually settled into his own schedule around 4 months. He was up at 7am, down for a nap at 9:30, 12, and 3- and back to be by 7 or 8pm... as he's gotten older, he's changed it up a little bit. The books say that when babies are so little that they really shouldn't be awake for too much more than 2 hrs at a time.
A lot of people I know are really into scheduling their kids... but I think if you relax a little bit... you'll find that they settle in on their own. Best of luck!

why does it have to be every three hours that you feed her? it seems like it might be easier if you just nursed when she wanted to nurse and led her lead a little in the routine.

G.,
Some moms claim to get their little ones on a schedule early on, but I don't think its realistic. The advice about no more than 2 hours awake is what I followed and it worked pretty well. My daughter (now 18 mo) would get up around 7 am, nap around 9 until 11 (although the length of the nap varied - and still does), awake until 1, nap until 3, awake until about 6, then slept all night (waking once or twice to feed until about 7 months, then she slept through the night).

I found that as you try to implement a "schedule" (actually, its more like a routine), you have to read your baby and see how she responds. Maybe an hour and a half is better for her, or 3 hours. Over time, she will need to adjust the routine, but she'll let you know somehow, as long as you're paying attention.

One book I really appreciated is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". You can skim through a lot of it, but there are some gems of advice based on scientific sleep research. And there are chapters for the various age ranges when sleep needs change from birth through school-age kids.

Also, sleep patterns don't seem to regulate until AT LEAST 4 months. I wouldn't get too frustrated until you're baby is 6 months or so. I know it's not easy to live without a routine, but you'll just be wasting futile effort until that point.

Good luck!

G., try this: right when she wakes up, feed her. Then play with the happy and full baby and 1 1/2 to 2hrs (tops) later put her back down for a nap. Try this schedule for a day or so and see what happens. When my daughter was about 3mos old she started doing this on her own and I could count on a solid 1 1/2 to 2hr nap each time and when she was awake, because she ate right when she woke up, she was happy. (I am a 39yr old 1st time mom of a, now, 21mo old)

p/s - if you read on to the other advice, it sounds like it's all about the same. So much for those who say "don't try to put your child on a schedule" - it sounds like everyone's child puts themselves on a schedule! So, not to worry, your little one will too and with a little nudging from you to the schedule you want, you'll both be better for it. You're doing great and once you get into that inevitable routine you'll see how great you're doing!

I thought I read recently that 45 minute naps can be normal for some babies. It has been at certain stages for mine. For my first, and now my second, I never had much luck with scheduling until they got to be older (like 2 or so). Until then I pretty much followed their leads on naps/eating schedules. It always seemed like when I started discerning a pattern it would start to morph into something else. Anyway, that leads to my advice (for what it's worth) - which is loosen up on trying to make a schedule for feeding and naps and go with the flow a little more if you can. Although 45 minute naps can lead to a lot of exaustion in the beginning - the naps will probably lengthen, and if you really need naps yourself maybe there is someone who can come over and play a bit with your baby during the day so you can snooze.

Just a thought, I currently hava an infant in my care a little bit older than your child. At 3 months he seemed to have the same schedule that your child has. We changed this by replacing the "slow" nipples with the fast nipples. Not sure if you bottle feed or not. The theory on this is the child is using all of his/her energy on sucking to be fed and feel full, this is so much work for the child that they will instantly fall asleep when finished feeding or not even finish eating before falling asleep. If your bottle feeding you may want to try this, if breastfeeding I'm not really sure what can be done. Good luck!

Hi, Your little sweetie sounds fine and you're a good mom. She'll change her schedule
before you know it. But I'm confused, are you waiting to feed her even if she seems hungry? YOu said it's 1.5 hours before her next feed. A little tummy doesn't know anything about schedules. She just knows her tummy hurts and needs food. Trust her! Follow her schedule the best you can without making yourself nutty.
Good luck.

Around 3 months, my daughter (Emma) was on a fairly predictable eat, awake, sleep schedule -- every three hours or so it would start all over again. She pretty much came up with this on her own, but maybe you could encourage it by feeding your daughter sooner after her naps. That way she might be more content during the awake time between feeding and sleep.

Also, I don't think this would work for all babies, but Emma needed to be swaddled at three months. We had stopped swaddling after her first few weeks, but tried it again when she was around three months and having sleep troubles. It worked like a CHARM! She was so alert and active at 3 months that she'd flail her arms around and needed the swaddle to calm her. Just an idea.

Good luck to you both! I know how hard it is to figure out the baby's cues. My husband and I still have trouble knowing whether Emma is tired or hungry... *sigh*

Hi G., Congrats on the new baby.....I'm not one that's big on feeding schedules, but must confess it's nice when things end up on one! The best advice I ever received was from my husband - he said it's only one of three things when the baby cries 1) dirty diaper, 2)hunger, 3) attention. I've never tried to get my kids on a schedule although my first child seemed to fall into one on his own. I just followed my husband's advice and let the day unfold as the baby's needs dictated.... I know this may sound like non-advice. I guess I'm just saying to roll with it and it will start to even out in a while.
Take care,
H.

I have the same problem with my three month old boy! He's been in this pattern for a few weeks now. Just yesterday, I started giving him a little more at each feeding during the day (he is bottle fed), and it seemed like he could go 4 hours instead of 3 and was a bit less fussy. I had also tried a little less 2 to 2 1/2 hours so that he'd never get hungry, but that is a lot of work! Some days, he would skip his nap altogether in the morning and be sooo exhausted by the afternoon that he would be extremely cranky and fussy, but then he started sleeping longer at night (which I prefer!). I'm not sure what else to tell you, except maybe try a bath in the afternoon with lavender scented bubbles, or massage her legs, arms, tummy and chest with lavender oil? That sometimes works for my son. Hope you found this helpful. Good luck!

G.,

At three months old she is probably ready for only two naps. This may take some time to adjust to. What I have historically done (I have three boys...4,3 and almost 8 months) is start a nap routine that works for you. Feed on demand, when she is hungry...but keep her up until her alloted nap time. For me it usually worked around 9-10 in the morning then around 12-1pm in the afternoon. My kids (all of them) are in bed, and usually asleep by 6:30pm. Kids thrive on routine...you just have to provide it for them.

I hope this helps...just remember it's the schedule that will work best for you in the long term that is the most important...kids will adapt.

H..

G., A few of my friends have raved about the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child / Your Fussy Baby (Paperback)by Marc Weissbluth. While I haven't read it myself, I've been taking my friends' advice and it seems to be working for my 4 month old. His whole schtick is that "sleep begets sleep". It doesn't sound like there is anything wrong/abnormal with your little one's schedule though. Good luck.

G.-
Hang in there. Your little one may not reach a normal schedule until at least 6 mos. You should always try that schedule, but honestly, you never know what they are going to do. One day you may get a long nap and the next those little cat naps throughout the day. You really just have to bear with it for the first 6mos or so and eventually she'll get it---as long as you stick to it! Good luck!!

Instead of feeding her based on time, you could try more of a routine like this: nap, eat, activity, and then sleep again. As we get older, that is the pattern we follow, so it makes sense to start it when children are young. Before putting her down for a nap you could have your own mini going-to-sleep routine (that doesn't include nursing) such as looking at a book or just holding her and quietly whispering, "It's nap time now. I'm going to lay you down and you can rest your eyes. When you get up we'll play again." etc. When my son was younger we got in the habit of me nursing him to sleep and he slept horribly. He would wake up after a very short nap & in the middle of the night because he wanted me to nurse him back to sleep. We have since started a routine like the one above and it works much better. I lay him down in his crib while he is awake and since he has learned to put himself to sleep when he wakes up after a REM cycle he just puts himself back to sleep. Having him learn to put himself to sleep was painful at first, but babies learn quickly. good luck.

My little guy did 3-4 naps a day until around 4 months, when he went to 2 1.5 - 2 hr. naps a day, but babies are all different in the amount of sleep they need. Our regular routine at 3 months, was feed, play, and no later than 1.5 hours after the beginning of the last feed, down for a nap. Next feed came around 3 hours after the last or earlier when needed. Things to consider: When she wakes up after 45 minutes, do you go in right away, or do you let her fuss for a while? Sometimes, she may just be transitioning from one phase of sleep to another and will wake up completely if you go in, but might go back to sleep if you don't. Also, I noticed that when my son hit growth spurts, his naps would be curtailed -- at one point, I remember he woke up from every nap at about 45 minutes on the dot for about a week. Have you tried increasing the amount she's eating or seeing if she wants more than the usual amount? That may help. Also, remember that even if you're keeping to a schedule, it doesn't need to be rigid -- feeding anywhere between 2.5 - 3.5 hours apart is pretty normal for a 3 month old. Perhaps just adding in an extra feed for a while may help. My son was pretty regular with 8 feeds/day from early on, but there were definitely times when he needed 9.

I think that this sounds about right as well. My daughter took 3 to 4 40 minute naps a day until about 4 or 5 months....then she went to 2 1.5 hour naps a day. And then at 12 months she was having 1 nap a day. Now at 2 years she still takes a 1.5 to 2 hour nap a day....sometimes a 3 hour nap! She sleeps from 8-6:30 a night.

Don't feed her early or everything will get screwed up. She will not fall asleep prematurely if she is hungry, so wait it out and feed her on time, and she will adapt to the schedule. Feeding her late because she was napping is fine..... Just don't start letting her dictate the schedule or you will be at her mercy...LOL! Maybe when you think she is hungry she just needs to suck on something? A lot of babies get anxious or over stimulated and need to suck to calm down.

I remember my daughter liked just sitting in her seat and watching the birds in the yard, or me cleaning....not so much "in her face time"....I did the "playing" for only 20 minute intervals......but she basically would just watch the world go on, as I talked to her while I was doing things.

If you are doing formula....3 hours is fine, it takes 3 hours for a full amount of formula to digest in their tummies. You should be on the 2nd stage nipples by now, otherwise she will not be getting as much satisfaction per bottle vs. the amount of work it took to get it.

Hope all goes well.

T.