In Need of Behavior/discipline Help

if you need a md for behavioral pediatrics i cannot say enough great things about

Michael Msall, MD
The University of Chicago

work ###-###-####
work fax 773-702-020

Professor, Department of Pediatrics
Chief, Section of Developmental and Behavorial Pediatrics
Institute for Molecular Pediatric Science
Section of Community Health Science

he used to be a kindergarten teacher before he became an MD, and to say that he is good with kids is a huge understatement. he was also great working with my husband and me -
good luck,

My son sounds like he was very similar, and I had a baby when he was about 3.5, so I remember those days. It was very difficult, and it's wonderful that you have reached out to Early Intervention! I wish I had known enough to do that, but you get used to your own kid, especially when they're your first. I'm sure you will get great advice from the professionals, but I wanted to just chime in that it does get better! The year from 3.5 to 4.5 was very rough for us. I think you'll find that following the advice for the "sensory diet" will really help him.

Another thing I wanted to mention - we bought a safety harness that I used when I was very pregnant or the baby was young and I had to be out in crowded venues with my fearless, runaway child, and when we took a vacation where we were on mountain trails, for safety. I was afraid people would make comments, but I actually got only supportive comments from other parents, and I didn't have to use the harness all that often.

Woah do I ever feel for you! I'm a teacher and have several students with audio sensory issues and oy it is exhausting! I have learned a couple of easy techniques that don't solve but surprisingly ease the problem sometimes and they're really simple.

When you give directions, touch your child and make eye contact with him-- and insist that he makes eye contact with you. Do not take a blank stare as an answer-- stand there and make him respond to you whenever possible.

The easiest technique is a change of scenery. If he has a sensory issue, his senses have to constantly be stimulated. If he must sit still for a long time like at the dinner table or something, have him switch chairs part way through dinner. Or if you must talk to him for a long time, change where you're standing during the conversation at points. I know it sounds so silly but believe me it can make a difference and it's so easy.

In terms of needing to be constantly active, that is certainly a pain in the neck. Try to wear him out with physical activity at as many intervals during the day as possible and keep a bag of neutral, random imagination toys on you at all times (for eg. dominos or blocks or legos or whatever will keep his hands busy time and time again) so if he has to sit still he doesn't have to be completely still. Your OT may have a magnetic bracelet or something he can wear to fiddle with that will keep him busy too.

Good luck! I have often taught these kids and thought "oh my what their mothers must go through!" because I know how hard it is. But you know what? On the bright side I can tell you that as a teacher I've had students who started out in preschool really really exhausting and by kindergarten graduation they're almost unrecognizable, they've gotten so good. He'll get better! Good luck!

Hey A.,
I was having similar problems with my son at 2 1/2. His behavior got so bad that I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to take him anywhere for fear he would freak out and I wouldn't know how to handle it. Everyone I talked to said I needed to start spanking him, but I didn't want to go that route. I thought there must be another way. I saw an ad for Tuesdays Child in Parent Magazine and made the call(www.tuesdayschildchicago.org
4028 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago ###-###-####). The best thing I've ever done. It is awesome facility which teaches parents how to handle kids with sensory issues and agressive/oppositional behaviors. I would suggest calling them. Most all of the teachers are there because they came some 15 years ago with their own children. I can't say enough about it. I had no idea Ben had sensory issues until I took him there. They diagnosed him and have been a huge support for me while I trudge this road. I still struggle some days, but I have tools now and my relationship with my son is 100 times better. I mean no one hands out a brochure about the dos and don't of parenting. But if there was such a thing, Tuesday's Child should be the one to create it! Its just a great place. I plan on being a fixture there for a long time! Give them a call, you've not nothing to lose and a world of hope and support to gain!
Blessings,
J.

Hi A.
My son is 4 years old today and has sensory issues with
emerging ADHD symptoms. We started with EI at 2.5 yrs with
OT, Speech, Developmental therapy, and PT. Our OT through EI was at a local clinic. Since he aged out at 3 years old last year, we've kept up with private OT and Speech at the same clinic in additon to speech & OT (through an IEP) in an Early Childhood preschool prorgram which started out wonderful and then the teacher quit because of school politics. Now this teacher this spring semester is just out of college and we're no longer satisfied with our school situation. Entirely different issue. Anyway, the therapies and "homework" at home have been key in teaching our son to manage his sensory issues in large group situations with lots of noise and classroom situations where he has to focus and learn. Our main concern is that he'll be able to keep it together in school when he is in an all-day program and not disrupt the teacher and classmates. We are very confident that he will be up to speed thanks to all the early therapy he has received. Since your son will be aging out of EI when he turns 3, I would suggest talking further with EI and discuss what Early Childhood program in your area your child will attend
in the Fall.Also, find out if your insurance will cover OT & Speech and any other therapies if you want to continue on a private basis after he turns 3. For Early Childhood preschool, depending on your area they may screen him or just accept him based on EI's evaluations. Once he is in the program, you should have a Domain meeting to meet with the IEP team. (Individual Education Plan). The team will evaluate your son over a 60 school day period and then the IEP team meets again with you to discuss his eligibility for school related OT/Speech/PT etc. School therapy is integrated and only addresses school skills so it is much different than private therapy. We have both private therapy 1 hour per week of Ot & Speech and 30 minutes of OT & Speech in school each week. In the meantime, the Out of Sync Child and The OUt of Sync Child has fun are great resources. I also belong to an Sensory Processing Disorder(SPD) Suporrt Group that has a chatroom on Yahoo. Here's the link:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SPDIllinoisSHARE/

Good luck with therapies and getting to know your
child's sensory issues with all 7 sensory groups our
bodies deal with every day. If any further questions, feel
free to contact me.

Judy

My 1st grader has sensory and ADHD issues and in addition to the advice you have already received, my advice is to begin thinking now about where your child will be going to school. We were diagnosed a little late and as a result, my child is in a school that can't help him as much as they should (regardless of government intervention by way of 504, counseling sessions and multiple meetings). Don't worry - you have time to find a school that has a strong program in place to accommodate kids with these issues. Look for one with specialists, including a qualified counselor and OT, and ideally where the "regular" teachers have experience and professional development in these areas. Interview the principal, counselor, OT - ask to speak with parents. Believe me, by the time kindergarten rolls around, you will be happy that you did this! Good luck.

I am a special education teacher and have had a lot of experience with children exhibiting behaviors similar to your son. My best advice is to take advantage of all the services he is can receive now. Whatever kind of a head start you can provide will truly help him when he enters school. It is also very important for children with sensory issues to have a structured routine. Often times the behavioral outbursts happen when there is a change in routine or the outcome of a situation is uncertain for the child. Try having a simple daily picture schedule that your son and you can go over. State clear expectations when you go shopping and be very consistent with the ways you reinforce him. I know that this can all get very exhausting, remember to utilize those therapists. Best of luck.

A., you child does not need discipline. I think his whole system is out of whack and he needs a place that works with children who will work with his whole body. Call the IMT Center. ###-###-####

30% of the people they see are children. And many have similar issues. I know you will get help there. They have 3 centers in and around Chicago.

Hi A.,

I have a story that echoes everyone else's. OT was the best. I too, was reluctant to go the pscyh route, but it was the best thing b/c he formally diagnosed sensory processing disorder, and EI finally listened! That was 3 years ago, and my son's been through EI and special ed preschool. He's down to one IEP goal for kindergarten, and I think they'll be disqualifying him at the end of next year. I still worry about the environment. He takes off if there's too much noise, commotion, etc., so I have to be sensitive to it and keep a close watch.

The one thing that I didn't see anyone else address was the control thing. When he was little, my son had to have ALL the doors closed, or ALL the lights in the house on or off. This has improved with therapy over the years, but it hasn't gone away totally. Now it's having to be first going ANYWHERE or he has a complete meltdown, and that's it for the day. OCD supposedly runs in my husband's family; however, my friend (and colleague) whose son is now in high school and had severe sensory issues keeps reminding me that SPD is all about control. My son loves things loud, as long as HE controls the volume; fireworks, thunder, etc. drive him insane.

Get all the professional help and advice you can while you're in EI; things change drastically, especially monetarily, once you're out, and not all insurances cover non-rehabilitative therapy. Two more good resources are: Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller, and Raising the Sensory Smart Child. The second is great for situational problems (hair brushing, clothing, etc.) Good luck!

I agree with all the advice so far! I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter with sensory issues. We did Early Intervention until she was too old and now go to Oak Tree on Wells. We also saw Dr. Karen Gouze at Children's Memorial for additional behavioral intervention. She has written a book on dealing with sensory issues. If you have not read her book (or The Out of Synch Child) they are very helpful as well! There are also several activity books (The Out of Synch Child Has Fun) that give you specific activities to do with your child.
I just want you to know that you are not alone and although this is an exhausting situation in time it will improve. Sensory issues do not disappear but with therapy they do become easier to handle for you and your son!! Please feel free to email me with any questions or more books on the subject ( I think I personally own 7). Good Luck!! ____@____.com

Hi A.-
This is too weird. I was reading your story and it was like I was reading all about our family. We too have a 2.5 year old daughter with sensory issues. She was evaluated by early intervention in October and is now receiving 5 hours of therapy a week (OT, speech and DT.) I have to say we have seen a world of difference. She has responded so well and we are so thankful for the therapy and EI.
My advice to you is to get on board with all the therapy ASAP and take advantage of it now before your son turns 3....its "free" and now is the time to help and make a difference with these little ones.
You will be pleased with what the therapists will tell you to do at home to help your son. There are a few things you will need to buy, but there are tons of things you will have around the house that you can utilize to help him.
As you know and will learn, it is not so much letting him just "run around to get his energy out," it is getting him to run with heavy work (like carrying something heavy or running over pillows) so it will slow his system down and get him regulated. You will get the hang of it and it will all start to become clear....it took me months to get a handle on how it all works and I am still not sure I have it right!
We have been told that many kids with sensory issues grow into a more adjusted and balanced sensory system so the issues are not as apparent or bothersome to the child or they just figure out a more "socially acceptable" way to handle it. For example, my 2.5 year old daughter used to hand flap constantly when she was disregulated, but she has already found that just jumping up and down helps....so now she just looks really excited a lot! Don't wait too long on all the evals and waiting on appts....call often and make sure you move fast. Before you know it, the kids will be 3 and everything changes. Insurance coverage for all this therapy is not as good as EI.
I told you our situations are similar....I too have a baby. She is 7 months old and I also feel like she is just coming along for the ride to therapy session to therapy session. My advice....try to get some of the therapy home based and get a sitter for your baby if possible once in a while.
Another bit of advice....we go to Oak Tree Developmental Center on Wells (right off North Ave) and they are wonderful. They have speech and OT individual sessions and they also offer group therapy if applicable. My daughter LOVES it there and she is sensitive to new people and new situations and she took to it right form the start.
Please feel free to bounce things off of me. We also have an excellent speech and GREAT DT if you need a good referral.
Oh....one more thing. I strongly suggest you see a developmental pediatrician for an official diagnosis. There are not that many in Chicago, but go to one covered by EI so it is free. Not everyone sees one, but we thought it was very important to see a MD. We are glad we did. After we saw her, it was that appt that warranted all this therapy for EI to cover. The therapists are great and often even better than the MD because they work with the kids all day, but you should not under estimate the value of seeing an MD as well. Let me know if you want a recommendation.
OK, hope this helps and PLEASE email me if you want to talk further....our situations are so similiar!!!! Good luck and hang in there!!

Hi A.,

My sister in law is dealing with some of the same issues you are. She's got a 2 and a half year old who also has some speech and sensory issues...She's been working with the early intervention program since her son was one....I'll pass along your post to her, and she can perhaps give you some advice.

M.