In Need of a Doctor/child Pyschologist to Help with 3Year Old Who Stops #2.

Updated on May 03, 2009
K.J. asks from Wheaton, IL
9 answers

I am a mother of a 3 year and pregant with another due in September. For my her entire life she has always struggled with constipation, but in the last 9 months it has become a psychological battle of now stopping herself because she associates it with hurting. Although when she stops herself, it hurts too. She is not potty trained. My doctor keeps saying Maralax, I keeep doing that and other wholistic things, but it does not help her want to just let it go! It is painful to watch and I am sure much more painful for her. Last night she woke about about 30 times with bowel pain and trying to stop herself. I am so frustrated and feel helpless about what to do. I don't believe she is constipated right now, because she has everything she needs for that. Believe me we have tried and done everything! NOw I think I need a doctor or professional that can help us figure out how to make a postive experience. She screams and cries if I even suggest uncrossing her legs (she crosses her legs to stop it) or going on the potty

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,
I don't know if this is the same thing or not, but it sounds very similar to a condition my sister had and still struggles with. After many years of the same behaviors, my mother took her to a specialist who determined she had a "mega-colon". It is an oversized colon that stored waste longer than normal colons. As a result, the output was extremely large and painful to dispel. Now, she is an adult, but still takes stool softeners regularly coupled with lots of fiber.
D.

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T.V.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.-all of this may have a really simple answer; food intolerances. Dairy and gluten are key indicators of constipation and other health problems. I would do food elimination and see what happens. Also get her on a really good strong probiotic and whole food supplement and is she drinking enough water. Forgo the milk and fruit juices and see what happens.

And of course alot of fruits and veggies organic is much much better.

Let me know if you have questions.

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N.J.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know why everyone is on Miralax. My son is 5 still not poop trained because he is always constipated. This can cause bowel obstructions that can lead to surgery. My pediatrician suggested using an enema. It helped within a half hour. He also suggested sennakot and mineral oil(not at the sametime). I am also giving my son children's Benefiber. I give him more than they recommend but it does work. Have you tried children's glycerin suppositories? Also you could try scaring her with the idea of surgery. It sounds cruel and may backfire but it might be worth a try. At this point she is in pain and she is endangering her health the quickest fix is the enema. It will make her go whether she wants to or not. It might be messy if she is resistant to a diaper or the potty. It was totally worth it for me and my son. Good luck. I know this is tough stuff since I also have major stomach issues. Encourage eating lots of fruits and veggies fewer breads and cereals.

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

K.,
My son was the same way but the differences was that he was already on Miralax when it started due to his low muscle tone. SO, we had to adjust the dose of the Miralax giving more, more often. We also found that he was more likeley to sit on the potty for my husband than me so he went when daddy got home. My husband would restrain him on the potty so I never understood why he always wanted daddy but it worked. He goes on his own & we have been able to reduce the Miralax to every other day - a 1/4 of a cap. SO it will get better. hang in there!
R. Christiansen
Director
www.iambabycrazy.com/R.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

hi K.,
i totally sympathize with you and went through the exact same thing with my 3 year old. when he was 2, he started using the potty occasionally and never had a problem with #2... then for whatever reason, i believe it was a constipation episode, he associated #2 with pain and stopped going. he would cross his legs, hide, and hold out for days sometimes. we started him on miralax too because the pediatrician recommended it and although i was very skeptical in the beginning, i am now so happy we did it because it was the ONLY way to make sure he would go. he was on it for an entire YEAR. and he had to take an entire capful (sometimes 1 and 1/2) to go everyday. and i dont think he ever went because he wanted to, he just couldnt hold it in any longer... i was up night after night thinking my 3 year old would soon be 8 and on miralax and wearing diapers forever afraid to go #2... and then maybe 4 months before he turned 4, i decided to stop talking about it, when i saw him holding it by crossing his legs i would just make a mental note to up the dosage for tomorrow of miralax, and i gently told him that he would poop in the potty when he was ready whenever that was it didnt matter...just very gently told him he would do it whenever he wanted and it was all okay and acted like it was no big deal. i always encouraged him to pee in the potty two or three times a day (before preschool, baths...) and kept him in diapers (because the miralax made a mess of his bowel movements). anyway long story short after all that agony ONE DAY (and everyone told me this would happen but i didnt believe it) he went pee in the potty and some poop (i think accidentally) came out too and he was SOOOO proud. he said "it didnt hurt!" and from that day on he has no problem going poop and pee and is completely potty trained. that was two months ago and he will be 4 in july. honestly if i had to do it all over again i wished i would have stop stressing, stop talking about it to him and just gently gave him encouragement... i think lots of kids go through this, no one wants to talk about it though because its such a taboo subject, but your little girl WILL go eventually. i hope this helps...! hang in there i know its soooo frustrating!

E.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K., my two year old son has similar issues. I think what started as an occasional bout of constipation, turned into perhaps a few painful BMs & now he constantly tries to hold it in. He's had this for about a year now. Even though we do high fiber & whole grain everything, lots of fluids, etc. nothing seemed to work. His new pediatrician said we need to get very aggressive with this before his bowel wall gets stretched to the point where he wouldn't be able to control it...meaning the BMs would just fall out. Lovely! So at that point I was more than willing to try medicine. He explained that Mirilax is actually a stool softener, not a true laxative & that my son needed both medicines to essentially force him to go. He said ideally my son should go 2-3 times a day to get over this problem. So, he gets Mirilax twice a day and a chewable laxative tablet every day and this has solved our problem. I don't like the fact the he takes all of this medicine & I do worry about him becoming dependent on it, but I couldn't stand to see him so miserable any longer. We will keep up this regimen until he learns that poo is no big deal & he doesn't feel the need to hold it in anymore! One more thing to consider: there is a disease called Hirschsprung's (sp?) where a portion of the intestine doesn't function properly which makes it difficult to have a BM. Our pediatrician had my son go in for a lower GI to rule this out. Thankfully it was normal, but if she's had this problem all of her life it might be something to look into. I wish you the best of luck...I know this is a tough battle!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I just went thru this with our 3 1/2 year old girl. She was constipated once or twice, then started holding #2 for up to a week at a time. She would cry because it hurt so, which broke my heart. We were potty training at the same time, but would only go #1 on the potty. She would straighten her legs and clench them together to stop it. We tried suppositories, laxatives, fiber drinks, and nothing helped. We even tried telling her that if she doesn't let the poopies out, she will have to see a special doctor; this didn't work either. My mother-in-law, who babysits one day a week, told her one day to spread her legs apart, and squat a little and let the poopies out. And it worked! She was so excited! It took her a few times, but it would be a little easier each time. We just reminded her that she needs to let the poopies out, and she would. She goes every 2-3 days now on the potty, and life is good.
Good luck!!

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi K.,

We have had this exact same problem with our son. He is now 3 and has been on Miralax for over a year now. We give it to him every morning in his morning milk. We are very careful with how much milk he drinks everyday. Even with the Miralax he will still have bouts of constipation. He will struggle and sometimes vomit when he is trying to go. Our doctor has recommended that we not allow him to stool hold by holding him and forcing his knees apart and putting him in a sitting position. This forces the muscles to relax and won't allow him to hold back. It is heartbreaking to see him in so much pain. We are now taking him to see our chiropractor. He has had one adjustment per week for a month now. Since seeing the chiropractor he has had regular bowel movements. He is also still on Miralax. Dr. Carson in Oswego says this is a common problem among young children and the adjustments seem to help. He said that other children have then been able to be weaned from supplements such as Miralax. Dr. Carson is wonderful and we highly recommend him. I was skeptical about how chiropractic care could help him but we were to the desperate point too and now I'm a believer!

Blessings,
L.

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry to her your little girl is going through this! My daughter (who was also 3 at the time) refused to poop on the potty, but WOULD go in her pull-ups only. My daughter's situation was not as dire as your daughter's, but I wanted to mention what helped us (psychologically). She said she was scared and that it hurt when she pooped - she did go through a bout of constipation and, therefore, did not want to poop. I bought a book called "It Hurts When I Poop" off of Amazon.com for around $12 after shipping and tax. It was the best money spent! It explains what happens to food and that it turns into poop and pee. It also explains why we HAVE to poop to keep our body clean and so it won't hurt (by holding it). She started pooping on the potty the next day (we read the book twice). She STILL asks to read the book annd she is 4 now! Good luck!

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