Imaginary Friend

Updated on May 02, 2007
J.B. asks from Edison, NJ
4 answers

For the last two weeks, my daughter has been talking about an imaginary friend of hers, named Jessica. She is asking us to do whatever we do for her to this friend, too. For instance, if my daughter gets her teeth brushed, we have to do "Jessica's" too. When we leave the house, my daughter inevitably ends up freaking out saying "You forgot Jessica!" My poor husband has had to go back in the house to "get Jessica" a few times. It's gotten to the point, where I just left my daughter in her room, screaming, because it's naptime, and two stories into our routine, she insists she needs to go downstairs and get Jessica again. I am getting worried. Is this behavior normal? If so, how do we react to these repeated requests and tantrums? To me, she seemed to just want to stall so she could avoid her nap, but I don't know what to do here. Help me!!

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So What Happened?

Jessica still comes and goes, but basically she is not around. We chose to sort of ignore her Jessica talk. We would tell her to do things for Jessica when she asked us to, and she sort of got over, I set up playdates with some of her little friends and we talked about that whenever Jessica talk started again. I don't want to discourage her imagaination, but I wanted to make sure she was fulfilled in socializing as well. Thanks to everyone who had great suggestions!

More Answers



answers from New York on

My son had an imaginary friend who he called "Henny Menny" (I found out later it was Handy Manny from the TV show).

Anyway, to nip her stalling in the bud, try to remember to always include Jessica. When it's time to leave, tell her AND Jessica to put their coats on, etc. If you make sure Jessica is always included, she won't need to go get her. Eventually, she'll grow out of it. Handy Manny didn't stick around too long. Every now and then, he visits but that's about it.

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answers from New York on

That is freaky, my imaginary friend was Mighty Mouse but I got married to him at 4 LOL. Jealous?
My oldest son had an imaginary friend who didn't have a name, would just catch him talking to him once in awhile when he was by himself. It spooked me until my daughter around the same age 3 came up with her own but named her, Barbie, Yes the doll figure. The three year old watches alot of Mickey Mouse Club house~ his, he just calls Mick.
The good news, I divorced Mighty Mouse at 4 when I started pre-school and had no time for him in my life. It has to do with noticing when interaction happens more often how fast they forget the imaginary friend.

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answers from New York on

all kids have imaginary friends.. YOU need to make Jessica more independent. if jessica isnt outside in time for the car ride its her fault and needs to catch up at the next stop
Jessica is also old enough to brush her own teeth. See she's doing it and doesnt need help.
And abut the tantrums well Jessica will have to leave unless she stops.
Use Jessica to your own advantage. She'll grow out of it.
I will tell mighty mouse (my imaginary friend ) that jessica says hi. LOL.

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answers from New York on

I think it is normal - my daughter is 3 yrs old - and while she doesnt have an imaginary friend - she is always pretending that her dolls talk or have feelings and asks that I address her dolls and have conversations with her dolls, or her hands that have become an animal. it is funny because we have a book here named "Jessica" by Kevin Henkes - it is a scholastic book about a little girl who has an imaginary friend named Jessica and her parents insist there is no jessica. The first day of school comes, adnthe little girl (
Ruthie)is alone and ends up meeting another little girl - who's name happens to be is really cute and may be a nice way to have "fun" wth this imagnary friend. Of course if you are terribly concerned, check with her doctor.

good luck1

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