I’m Worried That My Daughter Is Doing Sexual Things Way to Early

Updated on July 12, 2018
M.C. asks from Rochester, NY
5 answers

From the ages 5-7 I walked in on her humping her stuffed animals. About 6 months ago she was at my dads with my 6 year old niece and they were upstairs playing alone. My niece came downstairs upset and when asked why she said because my daughter got naked and climbed into bed and told her to do the same. Than last week she was in the pool with my same niece and told her to put her privates on the pool jets because it felt good. Should I be worried about this stuff?

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

what have you said to her?

i would have a simple conversation with her about her p****** p**** being hers, and that yes, touching them can feel pleasant. but that they are private and it's only to be done when she's alone.

don't ignore it, and don't blow it up into something it's not.
khairete
S.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

1 - some things you do in private.
2 - if friends don't like something, you respect that. Doesn't matter what - you don't force friends to play/do anything they don't want to do. It's a boundary thing.

Use a learning lesson. I wouldn't worry so much, as handle it.

ETA. How did you handle this to date? (i.e. what did you say to daughter/your sister/brother?)

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Some people are just very sexually stimulated people, and that can show up at a young age. It is also possible that someone older is engaging with her sexually and you need to find out which category your daughter fits into before reacting. If it is the former, teach her about privacy and boundaries and respect for other people. If it is the latter, call the police and a therapist.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Yeah I would worry too.
Not so much because she's found her own p****** p**** but because she seems to be actively looking for others as well - and your niece in particular.

I'd also be worried about where she is learning this stuff.
I don't know how old your daughter is now, but I'd have a talk with your pediatrician and see about having her talk with a counselor.
At the rate she is going she sounds like she's on her way to becoming a sexual predator and her life, her victims and all your lives are going to be complicated and impacted if that happens.

Your niece is upset - have you talked to her parents about it?
Because at this point she might need some counseling too.

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D.M.

answers from Charlottesville on

You should absolutely be worried. I have an adult friend who says she did these kinds of things at that age, and recently realized she had been molested by her favorite uncle when she was 3-4 years old. She began having memories at age 37, and when she told her mom, her mom said the uncle confessed to his wife before he died that he had molested several of his nieces. I'm not saying this is what happened to your daughter, but I would definitely consider the possibility. If that's what happened, she needs help.

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