My daughter is 16 months old and weighs 22 lbs. She will not sleep through the night. She's been a lousy sleeper since she was born and it seems like it's getting worse. For about 2 months now, she is getting up almost every 2 hours. I don't get it. I put her to bed by 7:30 and she goes down fine. She sleeps until about midnight and then the wakings begin. Her naps are just fine, I put her down for a nap at 1 and she sleeps for 2-3 hours without waking. I dont have her on a pacifire or a bottle. Sometimes I cave and give her a cup of milk in the middle of the night if I'm truly desperate for sleep. And that doesn't even work most of the time. I can't soothe her in any way, I've tried it all. I know there's nothing wrong with her because if I put her on the floor, she gets super happy and wants to play. She is usually a very happy girl. I can't hush her because she just stands in her crib and puts her arms out for me. If I pick her up, she squirms and does the arching the back thing so I'll put her back down. And I've even tried bringing her in my bed but she wont 'have that either. I'm out of ideas. I even sleep trained my other son and he was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. I've been doing everything with her the same as my son and it's like she just doesn't want to sleep. I know she's not the same as my son, but her behavior just doesn't seem normal.
I forgot to add that our day starts at 8 am.
Please, any adive will appreciated!
Thanks everyone! It's so confusing because a sleep consultant told me to put her to bed at 7 or 7:30, so I tried that. And the only reason she sleeps til 8 is because after she is done crying through the night, she finally falls asleep around 5 or 6 and wakes every morning at 8. I'm going to go back to an 8:30 bed time and bring her nap in earlier and definately feed her more.
Shorten up her naps to about 1.5 hr. and go a little later with bed time. My dd is 24mo naps for about 1hr +/-she goes down at 1for her naps then. goes to bed around 830-9 she will wake for some comfort around 1-2am then back to sleep till 7ish. gl it will get better.
Well....as someone who was on here pleading for help a month ago...lol
Here's what I did.
My daughter is 10 months old and 23lbs. She was waking every night and screaming (after nursing) for about an hour and a half EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It was a nightmare for me because I was exhausted. I told my husband I could not do it anymore! He needed to step up and help me out. He wasn't getting up with her because he was working the next morning. He did not pick her up when he went in there. He would pat her back and then step away from her. He had a sippy with water that he would give her if she needed it. That's it.
She screamed at him the first night for an hour and a half. I was up too...but NOT going in the room. SHe knew that I was the one that would feed her, so I didn't want her to see me. Plus, I knew my husband would need a little support.He went in and out of the room for about an hour/ hour and a half, patting her back, soothing, and then leaving so that she could learn to put herself back to sleep but also see that we were there.
So, my advice....get your husband in there. If you are a single mama...then do the same thing. Comfort without picking up, leave the room. Repeat. It may be tough...It WILL be tough...but so worth it.
It took my daughter about a week to figure it out, and now, for the most part, she sleeps through the night! (and the angels sing)
L.
sounds like she is going to bed too early and sleeping too long during the day. Try putting her to bed a 9PM and breaking her naps down to 1.5 hours. Especially if you expect her to be in bed for 13.5 hours. That's LONG time.
Right now it's a habit. And you continue the habit. In order to break the habit - you need to stop going in at night. You know she's not hungry. You know she's not hurt. She just wants attention (which is fine - but the timing is off).
It won't be fun nor will it be easy - but you CAN fix it. It can take about a week to two weeks. It means you will have to feel unloving for this time period - don't go into the room. Make sure she has a stuffed animal or a toy to play with in her crib. I know some moms on here will most likely bash me for that one - but she's 16 months old, SIDS isn't really a factor right now.
You have to break the habit. I personally think you are putting her to bed WAY to early and expecting her to stay there way too long. Naps during the day are too long as well. Later bed time. Don't go in.
I think that if she's falling asleep fine it has nothing to do with her nap. I think it has just become a habit. Have you been staying in her room when you are putting her to bed until she falls asleep? Sometimes when we do that, and little ones wake during a light sleep cycle, and see that we're not there anymore, it scares them.
If you haven't been staying with her until she falls asleep, I think she woke up for some reason during a light sleep cycle, and liked the attention she got from you. So now it's a habit- she wakes up, and wants Mom.
I would recommend that when she wakes up, you go in and comfort her. Tell her it's still bedtime, and she needs to go back to sleep. Then walk out. When she starts crying, wait 2 minutes before going back in to comfort her. Then go back out, and when she cries, wait 3 minutes before going back in. Keep doing this, adding a minute each time. She'll eventually fall asleep when she starts to feel like it's not worth the effort to get you to come back in. Yes, it won't be fun. But after a couple of nights (but hopefully only 1) she'll start sleeping through the night. You may want to wait for a weekend to try it.
I had to do this with my oldest son when, at 2 1/2, he STILL wasn't sleeping through the night, and I was at wits end. A friend of mine gave me Dr. Ferber's book, which is where I got all this. Anyway, I did this and he was sleeping through the night in 2 nights.
Best wishes!! :)
get her up a little earlier and give the nap earlier maybe around 1130 and bedtime at night about 8. is she getting physical activity during the day. And more important are you giving her a good filling snack before bed? we used to have to give our kids a bowl of cereal before bed. at her age a good filling cereal would be oatmeal. feed her a good snack and then off to bed. and it will drive you nuts but a couple nights of her screaming her lungs out and not getting up / snack /etc in the night will cure that. turn her light off and say night night. she will get it. but it sounds like nap is too late , bedtime too early and sleeping in too late. her schedule will even out eventually
give her lots to do during the day. She might be going to bed not tired. Move her bath to 7:30 and put her to bed by 8. she might be going to bed to early. Warm bath, soft lights and reassurance. Tell her she is a big girl now and you will play when the sun is yellow. (meaning tomorrow)
Don't rush in there every time she cries. I know it is hard, but try not to do it. Give her 5 min, if she continues go in. next time give her 10 min. and so on.
She needs to learn to put herself to sleep again when she wakes. Keep a sipy cup of water next to her bed and tell her if she feels thirsty that is where it will be from now on.
Best of luck mommy.. you will do fine.
All else fails ask your pediatrician about Zertek or anti hystamine that will make her sleep. just until she can manage through the night
My daughter slept throught the night ok but getting her to sleep could be, still can be, a challenge. Then she was tired in the morning. When she napped too late at daycare, I suffered for it that night and she did the next morning. I feel your pain.
If your day starts at 8 am and she naps for 2-3 hours at 1 pm, that is why she is not sleeping at night. If my daughter ever slept past 3pm she would NOT go to sleep at night (really 2 pm was the latest that didnt' cause a problem). I realize that 1 pm probably works since she's not up til 8 am but I would try to adjust that time a bit. Can your day start at 7 am, let her eat lunch at 11:30-12:00 and then nap but not for 2-3 hours (that is too long and the only reason she sleeps that long now is because she didn't rest at night). Have her up absolutely no later than 2 pm. Put her to bed 7:30-8 pm (if you can go 8-8:30 is may work better). That would give her close to 11 hours (hopefully) and a 1-2 nap during the day. You should bother feel better.
In addition to all the great advice so far, what's the reasoning for not using a pacifier? Is that her choice or yours? The sucking would help her soothe herself during the night.
I also agree, 730pm is too early to put her to bed. Tuck her in at 9pm. I personally tend not to mess with day time naps.
I do not want to add any reason for concern yet, as it seem too early. But many of my husband's patients, who end up presenting with other neurological disorders, often start out by having their night time sleep pattern disrupted. The parents will usually have an Aha moment in retrospect during the patient history and realize that little 'Sally' did have an abrupt change in sleeping habits, that never returned to a more normal. So, just keep an eye on the sleep progress, or lack thereof.
GL!
Havn't read the other responses, but she sounds just like my oldest daughter (25 Now). I was at my wits end around 2 1/2 she finally started sleeping thru the night. I've done in home daycare for quite a few years now and looking back I'm pretty sure she had sleep apnea. Talk to her Dr. let them know whats going on keep a journal It can also be related to stimulation before bed. With my youngest child he could not have the television or music for at least two hours before bed or he would be up all night. He's 16 now and still has this problem. Also have you tried white noise? I've been where you are and feel your pain. Good luck and God Bless.
She's hungry. You may not think so, but believe me. She's hungry. Even if she eats tons during the day and seems satisfied: She can eat much more. I got this advice from my aunt who has 10 kids when my first was one year and still waking at night.
You need to feed her much more all day long (not just right before bed). You do this by CONSTANTLY offering food and snacks. Sometimes she'll eat, sometimes she won't, but you CAN increase her intake by CONSTANTLY offering. It will take her body 3 full days of this to register the increase in calories and feel satisfied enough to sleep longer. Once she is completely full, at 16 months, if she has no medical disorder, she will sleep all night long. My kids would start waking up earlier or during the night if I slacked on food during the day up until 18 months or so, then you can be a little less diligent. Food food and more food.
Once you get her full enough to sleep, any further sleep training you do will be much easier, and may not even be necessary. 16 months is a toddler, so I would do CIO once she's full, not any soothing since she's old enough to "make" you come in and pay attention to her when she screams. Just give her one firm warning, "No, sweetie, it's bedtime" lay her down, and don't go back in. Be sure she gets lots of exercise during the day and no sugar or fruit in late afternoon/evening.
I'd take the advice from the woman who's aunt had 10 kids..... there's no way that lady was up all night for over a decade right??!!! Good luck!
How long/how many naps is she taking? Bedtime at 7:30 and day begins at 8...that's 12.5 hours of sleep...she may not need that much at night. Personally 7:30 is a early bedtime...I would push it back to 8 or 8:30 and see it that helps.
Good luck.
at this point i'd say your best bet is to just let her cry it out. It will suck big time for the first few days until she realizes that mom isnt going to coming running at every peep from her anymore. It is NOT going to hurt or damage her in any way. It is just habit now and you are playing right into it. I dont mean to sound rude or mean so I hope i'm not coming off that way.
ETA: I really hope you do not take the advice of the mom suggesting you drug your child to get her to sleep
HI--
I noticed a few months ago you said that she may be having a reaction to cow's milk. I know for me, both my boys had allergies and that is what caused them to wake every 2 hours all night. A consistent allergic reaction causes the body to release adrenaline, and that keeps children from sleeping well--and acting like the energizer bunny. So if the change of bed time and feeding her more doesn't change the problem, and if you haven't already taken her off of ALL dairy, then try removing all the dairy. It takes about 7 days for the dairy protein to get out of the blood stream, so you'll have to give it a few weeks before you get a big change. Also, if she does have a dairy allergy there is a good chance that there would be other symptoms such as the following: dark and/or puffy circles under the eyes, constant post-nasal drip, frequent ear infections, a nagging cough, constipation (defined as not going at least once a day) and/or diarrhea, hyper or easily prone to tantrums. One last thing--if it is an allergy then the reason she sleeps during the day but not well at night is probably because digestive processes are most active at night.
Hope that helps,
J.
