Im in a Funk

Updated on February 28, 2009
D.C. asks from Rockwall, TX
12 answers

So, I am a full time stay at home mom. I seem to stay busy with volunteering and book club and other things. I do hang out with my friends and do karaoke and stuff like that. I travel,I am going to mexico in a few weeks. Everyone is always asking me where i find the energy to do all the things i do... the thing is, i feel exhausted sometimes. I have a hard time staying on a proper sleep ad nutrition schedule that leaves me feeling MORE than sluggish. As a result, i am about 20 pounds overweight and feel in a mental and physical funk. I have struggled with depression all my life but seem to have it at bay right now. I am a member of 24 hr fitness and seem to find the time to go work out and do yoga but, again, not regularly. My husband and I spend time together at dinner and movies etc. I dont know. I just want to lay in bed all day lately. I dont, but I want to. Its like I cant get enough sleep. I would like it if someone were mothering me for a change. Like, waking me up in the morning and feeding ME a nutritional breakfast and asking ME if I wanna go to the park for some exercise and tossing ME an apple when they know I need a piece of fruit and telling ME its time to turn the tv off and go to bed. I am 37. Anyone relate to what Im saying at all? I feel like I am in a funk of some sort. I am unable to motivate myself on a daily basis to stay in a healthy routine and I am taking care of everyone else but no one is taking care of me. ???

What can I do next?

  • Add your own comment
  • Ask your own question
  • Join the Mamapedia community
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Dallas on

:) I feel that way sometimes, too. I know just how you feel!

Email me sometimes if you like--we'll sort through it together.

~A.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.K.

answers from Dallas on

D., You've gotten some great and insightful responses, so I wish you the best. Several people have mentioned your thyroid and I have to back that one up. When mine went south I felt like I was moving through quicksand all the time! I was so tired, so depressed, just so out of it. Once the doctor did the blood work and got the medication at the proper level, I started feeling a lot better. So, please have that checked out. Another thing about thyroid problems can be hair loss - have you noticed you're losing more hair than normal? That can be a sign as well. You also need to take some "you" time. It's not selfish to do so - you're a caretaker who will be worthless at your job if you don't recharge your batteries occasionally. Whether it's going to a day spa or taking a weekend jaunt out of town with your husband (where you DON'T COOK!), you need some time to replenish your soul. You mentioned that you're a Christian, so I'll end this with a Bible passage that seems to fit all of us in our busy, hectic lives: Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Hope this helps! You're in my thoughts and prayers - God bless all! S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

put a sign in the kitchen... mom is on strike till further notice. if you would like for the strike to be "broken" please discuss with mom.

then you can tell your family how you would like to be "mothered" for a while. have your husband watch the movie fireproof with kirk cameron.

good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Have you had your thyroid checked? Even if the numbers come out on the okay-but-slightly-low side you might be helped by some OTC help from the health store! How about other deficiencies - Vit Bs, Zinc, Magnesium, etc.
There was a post by a Mamasource chiropractor that does nutritional testing. This might be a case where alternative medicine will help more than the regular doctors.

You might also have a case of the blues. A counselor might help, or talking openly and honestly to friends.

I've been there! and mine was partly due to an under-active thyroid, but I also have had trouble with depression most of my life. Getting on thyroid med helped greatly!

God bless you! I hope you get it figured out!

A.

After I sent this in, I was rereading your post and I thought about the changes in my life in the last few years. My teenage son (who was starting to be impossible to live with!) went off to college, and my daughter (who was being a typical teenager) started to figure some things out. She realized that if she tried to stay on our good side by not fighting with us, she would get more freedom - she figured this out by talking with her friends and realizing that we weren't such ogres after all!

And now (she's 17 1/2) she is actually fixing us meals occasionally and reminding me to eat an apple instead of tortilla chips and salsa! She's grateful to have her driver's license, grateful Dad still has a job, grateful when I cook. Amazing!

So, maybe it's a time of life thing. When my kids were your kids' ages, I felt pretty used up, too. Plus, my Mom had just died, my Dad was living with us and not doing so well, and my husband and I were trying to figure out how close we wanted to be...

All this to say, hang in there, and actively seek if there is anything physically wrong. And get some counseling/encouragement from a professional or through your church or some friends! "This, too, shall pass"

My best to you.

A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Dallas on

You are not alone! Most days I find myself in that same funk! I do have good days, but more days in a funk than not! I never seem to stay consistant with anything... it seems days are moving so fast and I never accomplish anything - or at least feel that way! I read some of your posts and the one prior to mine (Kate H) says just what I'd say. Your dep meds if needed, counseling if needed, trying to get more time for yourself! I have 2 boys... 8 and 4.5, I think most of my funk is having two small demanding boys, working p/t and NOT requiring more of my boys (to help out) and NOT getting "quality" time to myself (that doesn't mean the grocery store, walmart, etc!). I'm very hard on myslef too because in the last couple of years I have put on an extra 40lbs and it's not my thyroid or hormones - it's all my fault! I look forward to reading more of your posts! Hang in there and best wishes!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I am a working mom, but I completely understand what you are saying. A couple of things:

1) Maybe your depression is bothering you a little more than you realize
2) Have you considered a hormonal imbalance
3) Maybe you are tired because you are doing so much, and none of it is for yourself.

I completely understand the feeling of wanting somebody to do something for you. Most families don't realize how much it can cost a mother of herself to take care of everything that they do. I too have had some trouble with weight gain lately, and so I started a new workout routine and diet. I have felt even more angry and stressed about the new routine because I feel like it is one more demand on my time and energy. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and I think it hard for anybody but other mothers to understand how you are feeling. Consider dropping some obligations that are less important to you. See if you can find a "gym friend" that you can look forward to spending time with while you are there.

Best wishes to you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.G.

answers from Dallas on

I completely understand! I have been there for a while. I have found that it helps if on the weekends I set aside a little time to lock myself in my room, read a book and take a nap. I wake up feeling relaxed and refreshed (at least for a little while before I think about all the things I need to do!).

B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can really sympathize with you. Being a wonderful caregiver can suck the zest for life right out of you. I went through a year of the funk after weaning my baby boy, where I gained 30 lbs, gave up regular work outs, just ate whatever junk I wanted, and really made my whole situation worse. I had my blood tested 6 times for thyroid and hormone problems, but they kept coming back negative, my Dr. put me on Zoloft, which helped at first, but then made everything worse, giving me daily headaches, panic attacks, disturbed dreams, etc. Then I found Mona-Vie. a friend sent me a bottle of juice to try, and after the first drink, I felt better. I have been drinking it for a month, now, have shed a bunch of weight, feel like working out, have a new zest for life, and have given up the Rx meds. I sleep better, and wake up with energy. I am not saying that it is a miracle juice, just that it really helped me. I decided, along with my husband, to become a distributor, because we both truly believe in the properties of this juice. It is made from the Acai berry which is the most nutritious superfood known to man. It contains the nutrient content of 13 servings of fruits and vegetables in 4 oz. of juice. You don't have to constantly think about making good choices with foods, just drink some juice in the morning and some in the afternoon. If you are interested in trying it, I can arrange to meet you for a tasting, with no strings attached. Please check out our website, www.mymonavie.com/bjhiller. My contact information is listed there, and also listed in the business listings on this site. You will find a wealth of testimonials out there for the Acai berry, I am asking you to try some for yourself, and see if it doesn't help you with your funk.
B., SAHWM of a 3 1/2 year old boy

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I totally know where you are coming from. I am always exhausted, too. I found out a couple of months ago that my thyroid was low so now I am on meds for that. But I also have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia so every day is a struggle. I am 37 also. But I just have one toddler. He keeps me running all day and I always take a nap when he naps. The days I don't get one, I am a mess.
I think you need to go to your Dr. and have a physical and your blood work done. It sounds like you may have an under active thyroid at the least.
I wish I could be taken care of, too. But I am the care taker here so that's not gonna happen.
Go to the Dr. and get the help you need. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be around to take care of your kids. That is how I have to look at it each day.
You aren't alone. I feel your pain. Hang in there and let us know what the Dr. says.
-S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Dallas on

It doesn't sound like you have your depression at bay to me. Either that or there may be something physical going on. I would go to the doctor and have him/her rule out anemia, low thyroid, etc. You might also be trying to do too much, especially since people are commenting on how much energy you must have. Obviously you don't have it so you might try cutting down on your activities and see if that helps. I think most of us mothers have a difficult time with putting others before ourselves. You have to make caring for yourself a priority which I know very well is way more easily said than done. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.H.

answers from Dallas on

hey there - pm me & i'll give you my number!

i'm an ex-personal trainer & now a stay-at-home mom and i'd be happy to offer you some sisterly support. it seems like it's been so long since someone actually wanted my recommendations & input on exercise & fitness ;D
while i am no counselor for sure - and please know to call one if you need to - perhaps though our exchange we could could both be inspired to learn how to better get the support we need from the resources we have and can count on having in the future?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I'm a work at an office mom and I got a serious case of the same thing. I try very hard at deciding a plan and keeping routines but other than managing my toddler's home from school routine on weekdays, I'm a mess too. But I just keep plugging along. The sun is going to come up tomorrow whether I take my multivitamin or manage to eat any veggies today or not, right?

You aren't alone...I wish I could share a magical thought that would make us both feel better but I don't really have one, except that we have GOT to keep on doing what we are doing and try to add a little something here and there when we can muster it. Those small wins help.

Hugs. :)

Next question: Has Anyone Heard of or Used Monavie Acai Berry Juice?